Hamburger Forum

It Fails to Transform the Regular Stacker Enough

by Randy Marr
   So the new Transformers movie is upon us, and with it, MARKETING TIE-INS! WHOO!! And who better to hop onto the summer blockbuster band-wagon than Burger King? They've decided that a promotional give-away and new product were in order. Your typical Burger King "There's a sticker on your cup and maybe your fries!" contest is back, with the patented "There's two scratch-off's! Pick one and maybe you'll win! (But if you scratch both you lose anyway)" Accompanying this little give-away is the new BBQ Double Stackticon! (Visit the actual site here, complete with scarier-than-normal King)

   The BBQ Double Stackticon is an attempt on Burger King's part to "Transform" the regular BK Stacker. For the uninitiated (Salad eating mother fuc~...), the BK Stacker is two slabs of beef, two slices of cheese, bacon ,and some mystery (yet delicious!) sauce. You can also up the ante by making it a triple or even Quad-Stacker, depending on the amount of self-loathing you posess. So what's the big secret to the transformation? Sweet Baby Ray's Sweet and Spicy BBQ Sauce. And it doesn't really do anything. Maybe I just got a bad one, but it tasted like a typical burger to me. At this point I'd rather have a Wendy's Baconator, and directly attack my heart for massive damage. In the end, the only difference is the sauce, and it's just not as good as whatever the hell it use they use for the stacker. So not only is there a lack of originality on the part of Burger King, but they turned a personal heart-stopping favorite into a weaker, more mild version of it's former self.

   If you feel enticed by this sandwich, allow me to recommend you just stick with the typical BK Stacker. It's cheaper and it's better. And if you're feeling really lucky or you're ready to end your own life, may I suggest asking them to make it an "Octo-stacker," which really would have been nice if they had it for the release of Spider-Man 2.

   A 2.5 out of 5.

(Instrumental)
-Theme to Burger Time