New Multiplayer DLC for Whoever's Still Playing Duke Nukem and Homefront

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Posted by Alex (1824 posts) -

For the thousands of people far too embarrassed to admit they're still playing Duke Nukem Forever online, and the baker's dozen still clinging to Homefront's multiplayer suite as a mother cradles a sickly child not long for this world, there is great news: you're getting more multiplayer maps.

In the absence of any "The Rock" map pack screenshots, here is a picture of Ed Harris.

THQ announced yesterday afternoon that Homefront would be receiving a new pack, rather obviously titled "The Rock." Yes, this is the inevitable Alcatraz DLC that most assumed would be coming since everyone discovered there was a level set in San Francisco. Anyone who has seen Michael Bay's identically-titled magnum opus knows that a game set in San Francisco without a sequence featuring people fighting it out on the city's abandoned island prison is simply incomplete. It's like setting a similarly apocalyptic game in New York and not featuring the Statue of Liberty in some state of disrepair or destruction as an all-too-obvious symbol of America's once prosperous status now in ruin. That's like Visual Metaphor 101, people.

The Rock map pack will feature two new maps, Alcatraz and Bridge (the latter likely a version of Homefront's final single player level, featuring the other distinct San Francisco landmark everyone always blows up, the Golden Gate Bridge), as well as two additions to the Team Deathmatch mode in older maps Overpass and Waterway. The pack will go for $5, and will initially debut July 28th (hey, that's tomorrow!) on Xbox Live exclusively, with PSN and PC releases to eventually follow.

Guys. Guys. Guys...HATS!

Duke Nukem's new multiplayer DLC is coming a bit further down the road--thus far, all we have is a nebulous "fall" release date--but this offering does include a decent amount of content. In addition to four brand-new maps that parody other giants of the game industry (see if you can pick out what they're parodying in the descriptions below, as the subtlety of the comedy here was far too clever for my meager brain), Duke will also be getting a bunch of hats. Yes, hats. One of the maps, 2Forts1Bridge, features a bunch of hats, possibly as a method of parodying something in particular. Clearly, this makes up for the game's infantile sense of humor, dated mechanics, and mean-spiritedly misogynistic attitude. I know I'm swayed!

Here's 2K's full descriptions of the new maps, as well as the newly included "freeze tag mode."

  • Freeze Tag provides some of the most fun team gameplay in Duke Nukem Forever. Players cooperate to freeze and shatter their opponents in succession for huge point streaks and combos. See who can hold on to the babe the longest in Hot Potato and play free-for-all Duke style in Hail to the King.
  • Call of Duke: Duke engages in modern combat in a war-torn city. Foes don’t stand a chance against the Duke when he spams the map with the N00b T00b.
  • Sandpit: Players take the role of mini-Duke in a giant sandbox with two bases at either end made out of children’s toys. This map features Sticky Grenades.
  • Inferno: Time machine engage! Duke does combat in a hellish landscape of lava and teleporters. Who turned on the 16-bit graphics, and more importantly, where did this DFG come from?
  • 2Forts1Bridge: Hats? Duke doesn’t need no stinking hats. Give him a minigun and he’ll beat off all comers.

Just a quick reminder that someone was paid to write those lines. Probably actual money, too.

Staff
#1 Posted by Alex (1824 posts) -

For the thousands of people far too embarrassed to admit they're still playing Duke Nukem Forever online, and the baker's dozen still clinging to Homefront's multiplayer suite as a mother cradles a sickly child not long for this world, there is great news: you're getting more multiplayer maps.

In the absence of any "The Rock" map pack screenshots, here is a picture of Ed Harris.

THQ announced yesterday afternoon that Homefront would be receiving a new pack, rather obviously titled "The Rock." Yes, this is the inevitable Alcatraz DLC that most assumed would be coming since everyone discovered there was a level set in San Francisco. Anyone who has seen Michael Bay's identically-titled magnum opus knows that a game set in San Francisco without a sequence featuring people fighting it out on the city's abandoned island prison is simply incomplete. It's like setting a similarly apocalyptic game in New York and not featuring the Statue of Liberty in some state of disrepair or destruction as an all-too-obvious symbol of America's once prosperous status now in ruin. That's like Visual Metaphor 101, people.

The Rock map pack will feature two new maps, Alcatraz and Bridge (the latter likely a version of Homefront's final single player level, featuring the other distinct San Francisco landmark everyone always blows up, the Golden Gate Bridge), as well as two additions to the Team Deathmatch mode in older maps Overpass and Waterway. The pack will go for $5, and will initially debut July 28th (hey, that's tomorrow!) on Xbox Live exclusively, with PSN and PC releases to eventually follow.

Guys. Guys. Guys...HATS!

Duke Nukem's new multiplayer DLC is coming a bit further down the road--thus far, all we have is a nebulous "fall" release date--but this offering does include a decent amount of content. In addition to four brand-new maps that parody other giants of the game industry (see if you can pick out what they're parodying in the descriptions below, as the subtlety of the comedy here was far too clever for my meager brain), Duke will also be getting a bunch of hats. Yes, hats. One of the maps, 2Forts1Bridge, features a bunch of hats, possibly as a method of parodying something in particular. Clearly, this makes up for the game's infantile sense of humor, dated mechanics, and mean-spiritedly misogynistic attitude. I know I'm swayed!

Here's 2K's full descriptions of the new maps, as well as the newly included "freeze tag mode."

  • Freeze Tag provides some of the most fun team gameplay in Duke Nukem Forever. Players cooperate to freeze and shatter their opponents in succession for huge point streaks and combos. See who can hold on to the babe the longest in Hot Potato and play free-for-all Duke style in Hail to the King.
  • Call of Duke: Duke engages in modern combat in a war-torn city. Foes don’t stand a chance against the Duke when he spams the map with the N00b T00b.
  • Sandpit: Players take the role of mini-Duke in a giant sandbox with two bases at either end made out of children’s toys. This map features Sticky Grenades.
  • Inferno: Time machine engage! Duke does combat in a hellish landscape of lava and teleporters. Who turned on the 16-bit graphics, and more importantly, where did this DFG come from?
  • 2Forts1Bridge: Hats? Duke doesn’t need no stinking hats. Give him a minigun and he’ll beat off all comers.

Just a quick reminder that someone was paid to write those lines. Probably actual money, too.

Staff
#2 Posted by marlow83 (239 posts) -

meh

#3 Posted by JoeyRavn (4885 posts) -

Hats! Homefront! Duke! Farts! Well, farts could make everything funny, for a while at least.

#4 Posted by Bigheart711 (1250 posts) -

...................

#5 Posted by ryanwho (12082 posts) -

Look, Duke is making fun of a dumb trend by participating in said dumb trend. Brilliant satire!

#6 Posted by Captain_Felafel (1522 posts) -

"Foes don’t stand a chance against the Duke when he spams the map with the N00b T00b." UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#7 Posted by vogon (95 posts) -

obviously these new Duke maps are things they were working on but just couldn't get done during the compressed development cycle.

#8 Posted by pochunki (60 posts) -

@Progn0sticator said:

"Foes don’t stand a chance against the Duke when he spams the map with the N00b T00b." UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

that about sums it up

#9 Posted by DougQuaid (1267 posts) -

Sad thing about Homefront was, the multiplayer wasn't half bad.

#10 Posted by B_Heart (180 posts) -

I'm looking forward to the Duke DLC. Multiplayer is still fun to play and getting the first dlc free is great.

#11 Edited by 234r2we232 (3181 posts) -

 

Clearly, this makes up for the game's mean-spirited attitude. 

 Alex. You're not a game and not everything is about youyouyou.
#12 Posted by RecSpec (3678 posts) -

" Give him a minigun and he’ll beat off all comers."

Good lord...

#13 Posted by MeatSim (10595 posts) -

Really? people are still playing these games.

#14 Posted by lockwoodx (2479 posts) -

I'm all over that deathmatch DLC. Duke's got one of the best deathmatches out right now period.

#15 Posted by Blair (2471 posts) -

Ew.

#16 Posted by Agent47CSim2 (1085 posts) -

I love your news stories Alex, they're always hilarious.  

#17 Posted by Grilledcheez (3919 posts) -

The Duke stuff sounds pretty good

#18 Posted by heatDrive88 (2170 posts) -

Fuck. Just... fuck.

#19 Posted by MistaSparkle (2146 posts) -

Is it... is it free? It must be free, right? It has to be.

#20 Posted by Korolev (1646 posts) -

So instead of parodying Duke himself, which could be somewhat funny, they are going to make lame jokes about games far better than DNF, which were also completed in far less time?

If I was in charge of making Parody levels, I'd have a "Finished" mode in which every map took exactly 14 minutes to load.

#21 Posted by BooDoug187 (334 posts) -

@vogon said:

obviously these new Duke maps are things they were working on but just couldn't get done during the compressed development cycle.

I know! I mean that game was just rushed out the door so soon after the first Duke Nukem!

#22 Posted by sirdesmond (1223 posts) -

Ed Harris FTW!

#23 Posted by NewfieBullet (87 posts) -

Will Nicolas Cage be in Homefront now?

#24 Posted by notha (239 posts) -

i'm interested to see that 2fort remake. wonder how quickly it'll turn into a clusterfuck on the bridge, since this is duke and all

#25 Posted by Roomrunner (743 posts) -

damn, that's a wordy headline.  Was it really worth it for the joke?

#26 Posted by MariachiMacabre (6936 posts) -

Alex's stories are always funny as hell.

#27 Posted by rbanke (191 posts) -

Love that super cynical outlook on gaming!

#28 Posted by Tebbit (4435 posts) -

@RecSpec said:

" Give him a minigun and he’ll beat off all comers."

Good lord...

I'll beat you o-

... waiiiiiit a minute

#29 Posted by Torrim (326 posts) -

If you make it free, I'll play the DNF maps. I have no desire to spend actual real money on that game at this point.

#30 Posted by dexterslu (290 posts) -

Easily one of the best headlines I've seen all day, props.

#31 Edited by JeanLuc (3518 posts) -
@MistaSparkle said:

Is it... is it free? It must be free, right? It has to be.

Its suppose to be free for those that signed up for the Duke Nukem first access club a while back. I think I may have done that, so yay me??
#32 Posted by valrog (3671 posts) -

Shouldn't a game not be a complete piece of shit before it tries and make fun of other, far better games? This is pathetic. And desperate.

#33 Posted by Vadis (222 posts) -

Hahaha, this is hilarious.

#34 Posted by pgn (17 posts) -

@DougQuaid said:

Sad thing about Homefront was, the multiplayer wasn't half bad.

this. The battle points system works very well, the vehicle combat is battlefield-level fun, minus camping the tank spawn..

#35 Posted by Pibo47 (3166 posts) -

How content for two horrible games? Uhh...no thanks.

#36 Posted by Doc_Zaius (119 posts) -

alex has just the right amount of bite in his sarcasm for this pile of crap.

#37 Posted by President_Barackbar (3344 posts) -

Hooray, Duke Nukem Forever is STILL pretending it deserves to be considered the equal of games like the COD series and Team Fortress 2 by taking a giant shit on them. DNF is the video game version of those Friedberg and Seltzer "parody" movies.

#38 Posted by Mumrik (1068 posts) -

  "Clearly, this makes up for the game's infantile sense of humor, dated mechanics, and mean-spiritedly misogynistic attitude. I know I'm swayed!"
 
Yo Alex, you forgot to mention how horribly the game runs...

#39 Edited by Frank_Mann (53 posts) -
@Buzzkill: You're joking right? Duke multi is absolute shit. I mean, it is fucking terrible. There are games that came out in the early 2000s with better multiplayer than DNF. Oh wait, I guess that isn't fair of me, DNFs current state is of the same quality as those games made a decade ago.

Also: fantastic headline Navarro. Keep up the good work!
#40 Posted by afrokola (547 posts) -

Pretty classy, Duke. Since Team Fortress and COD are totally not the biggest FPS out there today! Heh heh, aughhhhh.

#41 Posted by Shadoestar (50 posts) -

Never reference a good game in the middle of your crappy game.

#42 Posted by laserbolts (5309 posts) -

Meh tried duke multiplayer for the first time last night and it is just pure shit.

#43 Posted by TotalEklypse (1000 posts) -
@RecSpec said:

" Give him a minigun and he’ll beat off all comers."

Good lord...

Lol.. yea I saw that too. 
 
 
Also concerning the homefront DLC.. PS3 is still fucking waiting on the first map packs.  PSN store has been worthless for months. There are a lot of people who play it multiplayer, yet still can't get the damn thing.
#44 Posted by thunderPIN (12 posts) -

I'm not embarrassed to admit that I still play Duke.

#45 Posted by fuddles (82 posts) -

Call me crazy, but Homefront continues to be one of my go-to Multiplayer games. I love it, there's just so much to unlock.

#46 Posted by DBones (8 posts) -

Oh gosh, they're trying so hard now. 
 
Just, just stop. This is embarrassing.

#47 Posted by CaptainDickface (20 posts) -

Duke is gonna beat off all comers.

#48 Posted by Billigmangler (3 posts) -

These must have been super cheap to develop because they sure as hell are not going to make much off of them.

#49 Posted by rbanke (191 posts) -

@fuddles: NOPE, you cant possibly like it because its not the best game ever. You should feel shame for daring to like something that isn't a breakout hit...apparently.

Yea, Homefront was pretty good I thought.

#50 Posted by insanejedi (650 posts) -

Hey kids, just ignore Duke Nukem. He's a insecure kid who takes fun of bullying others (pathetically), just don't empower him by paying attention.
 
Seriously that's how I see Duke at this point. The insecure bully asshole at school that no one likes. Except he can't hurt anyone physically.

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