Today in 'Wait, What?' Game Announcements: Majesco Producing Hulk Hogan Kinect Game

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Posted by Alex (2380 posts) -

At least once or twice a week, a press release falls into my inbox that involuntarily forces me to make that comically confused puppy face. You know, the one where your head cocks to the side violently, your mouth twists into a kind of half-smirk, half-frown, and your brow furrows into an almost painful scrunch, all out of sheer, unadulterated bewilderment?

Tear-away tank top not included.

I had that reaction today when I read Majesco's press release announcement of Hulk Hogan's Main Event, a wrestling game of sorts created exclusively for Kinect. Panic Button LLC., the makers of such fine casual products as Attack of the Movies 3D, and Go Play Lumberjacks, is developing the title.

So what does a Kinect wrestling game entail? I... don't really know...

I've read this press release a half-dozen times now, and its description of a game in which players "train with mentor Hulk Hogan as they build their own wrestling personalities and learn the art of showmanship to win over the crowd" still doesn't quite compute. The release then goes on to describe learning more than "30 punishing combos" and how the Kinect sensor will track "players’ every move; the more dynamic the motion, the more high impact the wrestler’s performance is." It also mentions things like a dynamic wrestler creation mode and different weapons you can wield, but nowhere does it explain what any of this means.

Hulk Hogan, for his part, was no help at all.

== TEASER ==

“Listen up, people! You will feel the power of Hulkamania when you step into this game,” said Hulk Hogan. “Whether you are taking the damage or selling the pain, this game will let you unleash your inner wrestler as you hype up the crowd while putting the hurt on anyone that stands in your way!”

Ack! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! How does any of this work? Will I be clotheslining at empty air? Am I going to be leg-dropping my coffee table? Should I go out and buy one of those old WWF Wrestling Buddies? Without images or video, and only this barely existent website for context, I'm grasping at straws here, people. I guess we'll find out more at E3? Probably?

As a final aside, this press release might contain my favorite useless, barely-contextual quote from a guy in a suit in a good long while.

Hulk Hogan’s longtime marketing agent, Darren Prince, CEO of Prince Marketing Group, said “When we started discussions with Majesco on the format of this game we knew it was a perfect fit for Hulk’s global brand.”

That's it. That's the entire quote. Cool story, bro?

#1 Posted by Alex (2380 posts) -

At least once or twice a week, a press release falls into my inbox that involuntarily forces me to make that comically confused puppy face. You know, the one where your head cocks to the side violently, your mouth twists into a kind of half-smirk, half-frown, and your brow furrows into an almost painful scrunch, all out of sheer, unadulterated bewilderment?

Tear-away tank top not included.

I had that reaction today when I read Majesco's press release announcement of Hulk Hogan's Main Event, a wrestling game of sorts created exclusively for Kinect. Panic Button LLC., the makers of such fine casual products as Attack of the Movies 3D, and Go Play Lumberjacks, is developing the title.

So what does a Kinect wrestling game entail? I... don't really know...

I've read this press release a half-dozen times now, and its description of a game in which players "train with mentor Hulk Hogan as they build their own wrestling personalities and learn the art of showmanship to win over the crowd" still doesn't quite compute. The release then goes on to describe learning more than "30 punishing combos" and how the Kinect sensor will track "players’ every move; the more dynamic the motion, the more high impact the wrestler’s performance is." It also mentions things like a dynamic wrestler creation mode and different weapons you can wield, but nowhere does it explain what any of this means.

Hulk Hogan, for his part, was no help at all.

== TEASER ==

“Listen up, people! You will feel the power of Hulkamania when you step into this game,” said Hulk Hogan. “Whether you are taking the damage or selling the pain, this game will let you unleash your inner wrestler as you hype up the crowd while putting the hurt on anyone that stands in your way!”

Ack! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! How does any of this work? Will I be clotheslining at empty air? Am I going to be leg-dropping my coffee table? Should I go out and buy one of those old WWF Wrestling Buddies? Without images or video, and only this barely existent website for context, I'm grasping at straws here, people. I guess we'll find out more at E3? Probably?

As a final aside, this press release might contain my favorite useless, barely-contextual quote from a guy in a suit in a good long while.

Hulk Hogan’s longtime marketing agent, Darren Prince, CEO of Prince Marketing Group, said “When we started discussions with Majesco on the format of this game we knew it was a perfect fit for Hulk’s global brand.”

That's it. That's the entire quote. Cool story, bro?

#2 Edited by somethingepic (20 posts) -

shirt ripping simulator i hope

#3 Posted by Loopah (133 posts) -

Wow nice.

#4 Posted by PhatSeeJay (3322 posts) -

This just in: Wait, what?

#5 Posted by Winternet (8052 posts) -

Majesco is playing it hard.

#6 Posted by sungahymn (1038 posts) -

...

#7 Posted by Hockeymask27 (3683 posts) -

yappie strap match time! 
 
  

#8 Posted by SensuousLettuce (107 posts) -

I heard that the game ships with a 700 lb beanbag pack inso that you can relive the culminating moment of wrestling history when Hulk slammed Andre.   I'm in for two copies.

#9 Posted by ShaneDev (1696 posts) -

There is the killer app software for Kinect, I knew Microsoft would deliver.

#10 Posted by JoeyRavn (4983 posts) -

Hulk Hogan with Kinect? Well, naturally.

#11 Posted by louiedog (2335 posts) -

Is the final boss an empty shell of yourself who you have to fight to keep from becoming a pathetic reality TV personality?

#12 Edited by Rmack (1078 posts) -

#13 Posted by craigbo180 (1726 posts) -

Fuck. 
 
 
 
Now I have to buy a Kinect.

#14 Posted by Animasta (14719 posts) -

how do I sell pain

#15 Posted by Stew (34 posts) -

This game could be life-changing

#16 Posted by knownspace (85 posts) -

Without "Real American" it will be but a shell of what could have been.

#17 Posted by mnzy (2925 posts) -
@louiedog said:
Is the final boss an empty shell of yourself who you have to fight to keep from becoming a pathetic reality TV personality?
You win if Hulk becomes your father-in-law. You win life.
#18 Posted by Olivaw (1215 posts) -
@knownspace said:
Without "Real American" it will be but a shell of what could have been.
Yeah if Real American is not present then this is NOT a true Hulk Hogan game.
#19 Posted by afrokola (547 posts) -

Guess I'll be needing to buy a bunch of new shirts after playing this.

#20 Posted by TeflonBilly (4713 posts) -
@Hockeymask27 said:
yappie strap match time! 
 
  
#21 Posted by buft (3320 posts) -
@somethingepic said:
shirt ripping simulator i hope
thats definitely a mini game i imagine.
#22 Posted by MetalMoog (908 posts) -

Hogan is an icon I grew up watching and idolizing as a young man. Seeing him on The Hour with Strombo, a shell of his former self, depressed and ruined by his ex wife I felt for the dude. Glad to see Hogan is picking himself back up again in life, just like he did in the ring for so many years. Wrestling isn't the same now as it was back in the 80's.

#23 Posted by Kyle (2325 posts) -
I am very excited for this thrilling extension of the Hulk global brand. 
#24 Posted by jkuc316 (981 posts) -

Do you have to do the Atomic Leg Drop?

#25 Posted by MichaelBach (890 posts) -

I think this game will destroy many living rooms. Hope they demo it at E3.

#26 Posted by Zaph (274 posts) -

I will be strongly disappointed if there is no 'touching-your-daughter-inappropriately' mini-game.

#27 Posted by mpfitz13 (11 posts) -

I'll have my friends over for a royal rumble and fucking trash the place...

#28 Posted by phish09 (1110 posts) -

I really hope they include some yellow speedo's as a pre-order incentive...I can't seem to find them anywhere.

#29 Posted by muyskerm (3 posts) -

I have always thought "Man it would be cool to wave my arms around and take down the Macho Man" 

#30 Posted by Chris2KLee (2338 posts) -

I hope they have a section of the game where Hogan teaches you to politic your way to the top of a company, then run it into the ground.

#31 Posted by oldenglishC (1007 posts) -

Will his burly man-daughter be dlc?

#32 Posted by Davin (244 posts) -
@Rmack: You are my hero.
#33 Posted by Skooky (479 posts) -

Is he going to flash his dick at us again in promos for this game?

#34 Posted by Duecenage (226 posts) -

"Hype up the crowd" eh? I'm betting there'll also be a minigame where you twirl your hand to cup your ear egging the crowd to cheer louder.

#35 Posted by TadThuggish (912 posts) -

Gary Whitta needs a towel, you guys.

#36 Posted by PaleEye (26 posts) -

This sounds horrible.  About as bad as the sequel to Yogi Bear announced earlier today..

#37 Posted by MEATBALL (3468 posts) -

Majesco is mad crazy, yo.

#38 Edited by ajamafalous (12147 posts) -
@Rmack said:


@TeflonBilly said:

@Hockeymask27 said:

yappie strap match time! 
 
  
I love everything about all of this. Can't believe I never fucking thought about using a Jim Cornette reaction image to wrestling-related posts on these forums.
#39 Posted by TeflonBilly (4713 posts) -
@ajamafalous: Cornette-face is awesome. He was talking about printing up t-shirts with that pic
#40 Posted by Erotolepsy (29 posts) -

I can only hope this game lives up to the standard of quality set by the Hulk Hogan Ultimate Grill.
#41 Posted by TheFreeMan (2712 posts) -

This is the greatest thing I have ever heard.

#42 Posted by Milkman (17310 posts) -

Yappapi Strap match or no sell.

#43 Posted by GrandMarshal (390 posts) -

this is THE best thing to happen to kinect

#44 Posted by tourgen (4542 posts) -

pretty good news.  better than another yoga simulator or whatever.

#45 Posted by Xpgamer7 (2398 posts) -

A Hogan game from a crap game team? I just want fun games....

#46 Posted by Pkshields (811 posts) -

I can think of no one better to put in a bad Kinect game than Hogan.

#47 Posted by Seroth (726 posts) -

Looking forward to the Quick Look.

#48 Posted by KaneRobot (1823 posts) -

Laugh if you must, but if this game lets you Hulk Up...
 
1) Mimic throwing someone off of you just before the three count 
2) Get up to one knee and shake your head in refusal as the CPU character punches you
3) Begin shaking violently as the computer continues to punch you 
4) Get on your feet and walk all crazy around the ring (still shaking) 
5) POINT YOUR FINGER AT THE OPPONENT 
6) Blocked punch/three punches/big boot/legdrop sequence 
 
...I'll buy a mo'fuckin Kinect.

#49 Posted by MaxxS (206 posts) -

What the H?

#50 Posted by Dalai (7069 posts) -

Totally still own one of those WWF Wrestling Buddies, but I have the Hulk Hogan one so it'd be awkward clotheslining Hulk Hogan as Hulk Hogan, brother.

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