Cancer Blog

Posted by HumanityPlague (251 posts) -

So, I know only 3 or 4 people follow me on here.  And that's fine.  I like this site fine, but some of the systems seems confusing.  I love everyone on the site though.
 
Well, I have cancer.  It's either a Sarcoma (Bone Cancer), or a High-Grade B-Cell Lymphoma (Blood Cancer).  I haven't been able to walk properly since about February or so.  The problem I have is, my left foot/ankle is essentially dead.  It's stuck in one position, and I can put ZERO weight on it.  If I even try to, I'll just crumple on the ground.  Bear in mind, this has been like this for 4 months now.  Also little things like touching my big toe, or flexing my foot at all, is super painful. 
 
 I'm saying all of this, just to try and explain what is going on.
 
The reason I'm writing this now is to describe something.  Ever since I "seriously" got into games, probably 10 years ago, if not more, I have always looked up to Jeff.  Not in some fanboy way, but just as someone who I would like to shake their hand, or talk about the finer points of Strider, or even just to hang out with, some afternoon.
 
I grew (over the years) to enjoy Ryan, Brad, Alex, Matt, and Vinny all the same way.  Like, "any of these guys would be great people to be friends with" sort of way.
 
 Ryan seems like one of the funniest, and happiest guys around.  His laugh is infectious, and his sarcasm can be biting, without being mean.
 
Brad is a gentleman of the highest caliber.  His dulcet tones provide a richness of scope that few possess.  Plus his, and Jeff's playing of Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3, is among the finest seen.  Or in that particular case, not seen.
 
Alex, such a cool, and passionate guy.  Even while having to review some of the worst games imaginable.  His two old videos, a review of Big Rigs, and making of a review for  Robocop are amongsst the greatest things put to film.
 
Matt, guide-master extraordinaire.  I've enjoyed his recent workings on Screened, and am happy to see what he has to say on films, and more.
 
And finally Vinny.  The Endurance Run master himself.  I love to see him comment on games, because it's such kind of a whimsical take on them.
 
I love all you guys.  You're the true spirit when it comes to video-game journalism, but also just people who enjoy games.  It would've been a dream of mine to visit the Giant Bomb offices some day.  I'm not even sure if you can do that, but you understand.  To sit on the couch under the Luchadeer.  To drink some horrible energy drink with Jeff and Ryan.  To discuss the inner workings of some obscure PC game with  Vinny, or to even sit-in (quietly) on a Quick Look with Brad, and wait for him to "Pull a Brad" as it were, during a game.
 
All of these things would've been something I would've loved to do.  That would've been my dream.  Sadly, that won't come to pass now.  Aside from the practical limitations (I'm in Michigan, they're in Cali.  And they don't want a bunch of random-ass people visiting their office), my problem now is health.  I know the Giant Bomb office is in a basement.  For me to get into it, I need to crawl/scoot down the stairs on my ass, using my good (right) leg as the momentum, while keeping my left leg away, from hitting anything.  
 
I...I guess I don't really have much to say.  It is super depressing to me to see this dream (of meeting, or even seeing the guys) fade away.  At this point, I'm trying not to shatter my left ankle when I walk with it.  Sorry if this has kind of meandered some, but I'm not sure how much longer I have when it comes to things like life.  But, I hope you took the time to read it, if you did.

#1 Posted by HumanityPlague (251 posts) -

So, I know only 3 or 4 people follow me on here.  And that's fine.  I like this site fine, but some of the systems seems confusing.  I love everyone on the site though.
 
Well, I have cancer.  It's either a Sarcoma (Bone Cancer), or a High-Grade B-Cell Lymphoma (Blood Cancer).  I haven't been able to walk properly since about February or so.  The problem I have is, my left foot/ankle is essentially dead.  It's stuck in one position, and I can put ZERO weight on it.  If I even try to, I'll just crumple on the ground.  Bear in mind, this has been like this for 4 months now.  Also little things like touching my big toe, or flexing my foot at all, is super painful. 
 
 I'm saying all of this, just to try and explain what is going on.
 
The reason I'm writing this now is to describe something.  Ever since I "seriously" got into games, probably 10 years ago, if not more, I have always looked up to Jeff.  Not in some fanboy way, but just as someone who I would like to shake their hand, or talk about the finer points of Strider, or even just to hang out with, some afternoon.
 
I grew (over the years) to enjoy Ryan, Brad, Alex, Matt, and Vinny all the same way.  Like, "any of these guys would be great people to be friends with" sort of way.
 
 Ryan seems like one of the funniest, and happiest guys around.  His laugh is infectious, and his sarcasm can be biting, without being mean.
 
Brad is a gentleman of the highest caliber.  His dulcet tones provide a richness of scope that few possess.  Plus his, and Jeff's playing of Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3, is among the finest seen.  Or in that particular case, not seen.
 
Alex, such a cool, and passionate guy.  Even while having to review some of the worst games imaginable.  His two old videos, a review of Big Rigs, and making of a review for  Robocop are amongsst the greatest things put to film.
 
Matt, guide-master extraordinaire.  I've enjoyed his recent workings on Screened, and am happy to see what he has to say on films, and more.
 
And finally Vinny.  The Endurance Run master himself.  I love to see him comment on games, because it's such kind of a whimsical take on them.
 
I love all you guys.  You're the true spirit when it comes to video-game journalism, but also just people who enjoy games.  It would've been a dream of mine to visit the Giant Bomb offices some day.  I'm not even sure if you can do that, but you understand.  To sit on the couch under the Luchadeer.  To drink some horrible energy drink with Jeff and Ryan.  To discuss the inner workings of some obscure PC game with  Vinny, or to even sit-in (quietly) on a Quick Look with Brad, and wait for him to "Pull a Brad" as it were, during a game.
 
All of these things would've been something I would've loved to do.  That would've been my dream.  Sadly, that won't come to pass now.  Aside from the practical limitations (I'm in Michigan, they're in Cali.  And they don't want a bunch of random-ass people visiting their office), my problem now is health.  I know the Giant Bomb office is in a basement.  For me to get into it, I need to crawl/scoot down the stairs on my ass, using my good (right) leg as the momentum, while keeping my left leg away, from hitting anything.  
 
I...I guess I don't really have much to say.  It is super depressing to me to see this dream (of meeting, or even seeing the guys) fade away.  At this point, I'm trying not to shatter my left ankle when I walk with it.  Sorry if this has kind of meandered some, but I'm not sure how much longer I have when it comes to things like life.  But, I hope you took the time to read it, if you did.

#2 Posted by ParanoidFreak (1461 posts) -

Don't give up, that is the most important thing. You should go to PAX, the guys from the site usually go, and you could meet them.

#3 Edited by Yummylee (21658 posts) -

=(...deeply sorry to hear all that.  
 
But like the comment above, you shouldn't have this discourage you completely. You can never be completely sure of what the future may bring.

#4 Posted by AhmadMetallic (18955 posts) -

Keep on keeping on, the future is full of surprises. 
 
Unless you were me. then you're fucked from day 1. but you're not !! so keep having hope. The best medicine for cancer is hope and determination.

#5 Posted by ArchScabby (5809 posts) -

#6 Posted by TheMustacheHero (6655 posts) -

#7 Posted by Scooper (7881 posts) -
@HumanityPlague said:
"All of these things would've been something I would've loved to do."
I'm sure 95% of this website would like to do those things too but won't be able to.
#8 Posted by xMP44x (2193 posts) -

I'm incredibly sorry to read your predicament. However, you should try and get to PAX or one of the other gaming conventions that the GiantBomb guys will be present at. If this thread remains active enough, then there's a chance that you could get the attention of Jeff and the rest of the team. It'd be a shame to give up - as a member of this site you're much closer than the majority of people is my guess. I hope that some of the staff could see this, because it'd be a beautiful thing if you would be able to meet the people who brought you joy. Plus it'd look good for the site to see them making time for a member who is clearly a real fan of the website. So good luck, and don't give up!

#9 Posted by luce (4045 posts) -
@Scooper said:
" @HumanityPlague said:
"All of these things would've been something I would've loved to do."
I'm sure 95% of this website would like to do those things too but won't be able to. "
Yup. I live in the (B) east Coast so I'm quite far away. 
 
This is why we have the internet! :D
 
Good luck fighting that Cancer. Beat that bitch to the ground
#10 Posted by Jaserno (242 posts) -

Good luck man; with any luck this thread gets noticed by Brad, Jeff or someone and they sort the arrangements for you to get to their offices and chill with them for an afternoon or something. That would be brilliant. I'd love to do the same but someone who has the descriptive power of justifying what they like about someone else so well, as you do, should go see them. Or they should come and see you, and take you back to California.  
 
:)

#11 Posted by Gearhead (2251 posts) -

Heard about this on the Screened podcast, and bringing this back for the rest of the community to see. Hope you get better bro.

#12 Posted by MooseyMcMan (11029 posts) -

Just remember to keep on trucking. A wise man once told me, "Never give up, never surrender!"  
 
Okay, it was in a movie, but still. Good luck.

Moderator Online
#13 Posted by TheHBK (5485 posts) -

Update man, or give us some more info.  Its sad to see you write that but why is it that you don't know what you have?  Your not just giving up are you?  Getting treatment?  Step up and beat this thing.  And if not, dont go out on a whimper, get out there and try to live your dream until the end.
#14 Posted by BlackIrish05 (348 posts) -
@Gearhead said:
"Heard about this on the Screened podcast, and bringing this back for the rest of the community to see. Hope you get better bro. "
#15 Posted by TheLawnWrangler (1657 posts) -

D: I'm sorry. My mom beat cancer, and if you're like my mom, YOU CAN MAKE CAKES! i mean... beat cancer. 
 
:( I live in cali. If this was a movie, or if i had willing participants in doing so, i'd drive you up there. It's a sequel to Fanboys, but better!

#16 Posted by defaulttag (890 posts) -
@Gearhead said:
" Heard about this on the Screened podcast, and bringing this back for the rest of the community to see. Hope you get better bro. "
@HumanityPlague:
Fight for your life. Do not give up. Cancer can be beaten. Do whatever you can. Radiation Therapy, Chemotherapy, counseling, eating healthy. I've seen people have a similar cancer, and theirs has gone into remission.
Also, a note to all GB users who disagree with religion and spirituality: Those things can help. Faith can sometimes bring about enough positive energy, that it may bring about recovery. Whether that is divine intervention or one's own immune system responding, no one knows.  Good luck to you, my fellow GBomber. I hope you get better.
#17 Posted by lamegame621 (975 posts) -

I wish I had a magic "hang in there" motivational poster for you. Emu Zombie Armies are likely more effective. 
 
What makes me feel better about not seeing the Whiskey Media gang in person is just simply knowing that people that cool, awesome, and down to earth actually exist. In the broad scope of humanity, it is people like them, and you, who make the world a less shitty place for future generations. Humor and kindness are two of the most powerful forces on Earth.

#18 Posted by LiquidPrince (15949 posts) -

I can say something, but honestly how much could it mean to you? And yet, I will say it still: Don't give up. Those things are totally attainable, as long as you want it, and work at it, you will achieve it. It's obvious that you do want it.

#19 Posted by chstupid (806 posts) -

I'm sorry you have to go through all that. I hope it all works out ok.
#20 Posted by Sackmanjones (4705 posts) -

@HumanityPlague:
Hope this makes you laugh :)   YOU CAN MAKE IT!!!!!!
#21 Posted by TurboNinjaPanda (75 posts) -

I just wanted to add my voice to the mix of those who have already responded.  I wish you all the best and hope you get better really soon!  I've seen a person close to me fight cancer and win.  It can be done.  Do your best to stay strong!

#22 Posted by stephengotlost (703 posts) -

Don't give on any of your dreams! I'm absolutely certain that the GB staff could guest star you in a Bombcast via Skype or participate in their debauchery during their Thursday Night Throwdowns :)

#23 Posted by Sticky_Pennies (2019 posts) -

I feel like I should buy you a plane an personally fly you there, without a pilot's license, from the east coast. 
 
I don't even have ten percent of the money I'd need to do that, though. Fuuuuck. 
 
I wish you all the best. My girlfriend's grandmother is a three-time breast cancer survivor. I know it's possible to survive this shit.

#24 Posted by SSully (4191 posts) -

Very sad post man, but i liked it. Very sorry to hear about your condition, and its people like you that really make this site a joy to come on. As everyone has already said, hang in there and stay positive. I dont know about you, but it helps me to write about how i feel, even if its just a chronological kind of deal. I know if you were to write about your struggles i certainly would read them. Good luck.

#25 Posted by Dark_Jon (581 posts) -

Dude! You can do it! There's always a way.

#26 Posted by IamNOTatalkingpony (264 posts) -

My cousin got cancer, you know what he did? 
He beat that motherfucker into a corner, now he's feeling tons better, in a band, and getting an album out. 
I wont pretend to know what you are going through, because I dont. But, you can do it man! 
ENDURE!!!
#27 Posted by Rxanadu (508 posts) -

Man, I love this site so much!  Someone pours his heart out about his medical situation and his life-long dream, and everyone rushes to encourage him to keep at it.  If this were another site (like Kotaku or Destructoid), the people would have nothing good to say at all; they may go as far as posting something that should be in 4chan.  Makes me shudder just thinking about it.  
You guys are awesome, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.  I want to meet every one one you and give you all a big ass hug!  For now, I guess I'll let you listen to one of my favorite songs by Nujabes:  

 As for  HumanityPlague, I hope, for a lack of better words, your cancer "bites the big one".  I also hope you are able to see the Giant Bomb crew.  It's one of my dreams as well.  I mean, who wouldn't want to sit down have a drink with Vinny or Jeff and talk tot them about their jobs?  Well, anyway, here's to you and everybody else to being bad-ass motherfuckers in life!
 
P.S. On second thought, drinking with Vinny may lead to something at the back of your throat.    

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