Overview

Bio

Appearances in Mainstream Media

Side Projects

• Jeff is currently part of band called Midnight Brown, which has released three albums and half a dozen singles from their upcoming album.
• Jeff is also currently working on a side project: being the Apocalypse for sandwiches.

Miscellaneous Facts

• If shipwrecked on a desert island with one crate of hemp milk and one crate of oat milk, Jeff would definitely drink the oat milk first because, well, he likes oats.
• Appeared in Fubu Jersey and shorts on Good Morning America during the Dreamcast launch; Diane Sawyer touched his leg.
• Jeff is color blind. (But, he can still beat you at any video game)
• Went to Japan. Beat a guy in Street Fighter IV.
• Jeff wears a size 13 shoe.
• Young girls and grandmas love Jeff, it IS a fact.
• Wrote for a games magazine called "Blaster", however it only lasted 3 issues.
• First game console was a Fairchild Channel F.
• Jeff has only finished Guitar Hero 3 on Easy
• While unemployed Jeff claims to play many hours of Call of Duty 4 with Rich Gallup
• Apparantly Jeff has played Call of Duty 4 with rapper and actor Ice T
• On the same podcast Jeff also stated that he agrees with Ice T and thinks Lil'Wayne is a bit weird
• Jeff has been known to deal with Controversy (He caused quite a big stir with his review of The Legend of Zelda: Twighlight Princess)

Quotations

• "Sleeping is like eating, but better."
• "I'm a get back in my bullet proof bubble whip, we rollin'."
• "We are calling it crank because it is in my crank case, you see."
• "I root past the burritos and the vodka to at those pot pies!"
• "Gay sexual content."
• "SEE ME ON THE BEACH, SON!"
• "That slingshot can levitate, it's hella trippy."
• "This deal is below stupid!"
• "I don't get into showers with clothes on, thems the rules."
• "You can't beat 100 percent."
• "Anime is for jerks."

• "I like boobs."
• "Dude, yes."
• "What is Afrika!?"
• "Fake boobs don't do it for me."
• "Jeff Gerstmann always has a plan."
• "Shooting dudes in the face."
• "Aw, dude, I dunno."
• "Don't cut your dick off with a chainsaw."
• "Jenny McCarthy's 'Sexy Talk'......is really bad."
• "Stick a shotgun into an ant hill and pull the trigger."
• "I'm the greatest Mega Man 9 player what ever lived!"
• ''I like cakes, cupcakes, poundcakes.''
• ''If we bought more than two TVs, we'd still be busy having sex with everyone there."
• ''Gaming for me is a religion and OAHAHAHA is the shit.''
• ''AND YO DON'T PLAY THIS GAME UHH."
• ''I'm a big guy with a lot of passion and a lot of love, and i've got enough passion for a second love and that love is for musicals"

• "Now this is sorta like holding a Choco Taco up to your head, I don't know if you've ever done that, um, but I don't recommend you do it cause you get chocolate all over your face."
• "More safari, less track"
• "I am about to say two things, one of which will set up the other. I am an only child. Split-screen gaming is for assholes."
• "THIS IS MY MALL, FOOL!!!"
• "The devil rips all century long, baby! OWW!!!
• "I'm the dirty Burrito."
• "I ain't squahin' nothin'. Akira Toriyama is a punkass."

• "Mega Man 9 hates me but I hate it back"
• "Actuallly no, they need to put all of their work into the heat game because If they come out with a bad Heat game, PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET THEIR ASSES KICKED BY ME!!!"
• "When I think about their reasons for choosing the name Wii, it just makes me want to go back in time, find the boardroom where they made that stupid decision, bust down the door and just start punching people..."
• "Actually, the new thing that I hate more than that are people that refuse to call it Wii, like the group of people who are like "well I'm gonna still call it the Revolution!". Yeah, good luck with that. I'll be playing Xenon games in the corner, jackass."
• "Tastes like genocide!"
• "This is Jimmy."
• "So religion is shit?!"
• "Ahhhh NINJAS!!!"

• "LL Cool J just burned down his closet"
• "This podcast is over!"
• "I just want to put this Linkin Park song on this video of Goku shooting fire balls"
• "I'm flying that flag!"
• "3 way fight!!!"
• "Thats one universe as far as im concerned"
• "I love that game so much i gave it to Ryan"
• "3 Stooges, Harlem Globetrotters, Batman"
• "The Wii Speak or as i call it the Wiik" pronounced 'Weak'
• "Oh man im so addicted to Heroine"
• "[Tecmo and Koei] can hug each other INTO THE GROUND."
• "In my mind, whenever Ice T calls in a helicopter strike, he does the Ghetttobird noise. AW-AH! AW-AH!"
• "It's all gone SOUTHCOCK!"
• "And if I may respond in kind, if you don't like WarioWare: Smooth Moves you suck shit out of a lead pipe marked "shit delivery system."