The screenshot ballad of Heartbreakin' Hisao Nakai. Episode 1.

Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
Part the 一番目
←To Episode 0: The Tokimeki thread, I guess?To Episode 2: Poor Parental Cabbage→

So it's finally come to this. From that fateful day I posted my first Persona 3 FES screenshot to the site, we all knew it would eventually end with me revisiting Katawa Shoujo. Well, except for those of who have no idea what a Katawa Shoujo is. Allow me to bring you up to speed:

Katawa Shoujo? What are these words and why do they scare me at night?

I cannot understand your night terrors. However, Katawa Shoujo is a 2012 visual novel whose title loosely translates to "Disability Girls". Said title refers to the girls that our protagonist, Hisao Nakai, comes to know. Each one has their own physical disability, but there's far more to each girl than the mere fact that one of them doesn't have any arms. So very much more.

So there are multipe cha-

Yes, there's nudity, but we won't be seeing any of it. Ne'er a nipple nor 'nad will make its way into this thread. If one of the little bastards tries to sneak its way in, I'll slap a Misha head on it. (We'll learn what a Misha is soon enough.) For example:

Oh, gross! I am seriously offended by this!

But, with a little Photoshop magic...

Safe for family consumption!



Of course, if that proves insufficient, I have other strategies on the ready.

Actually, I was asking about the characters.

Oh.....Of course you were......How 'bout I just introduce you to some of them? (This isn't all of them, but since this game has more characters than Romance of the Three Fucking Kingdoms, I'm gonna keep it limited to the most important characters.)

Hisao "Babyface" Nikai

The protagonist of our story, he has been cursed with arrythmia, a painful affliction that completely destroys your rhymes and flow. Despite this, he can still be described as fly, so I see no problem in letting ShadyVox do his voice. He would've been voiced by whoever did the Katawa Seiyuu voice for Hisao if that didn't completely fucking suck.

Emi "Deckard" Ibarazaki

Oldest of the shoujos, but also the youngest looking of them all. Don't say that to her face, though. She's the type of girl who'd beat the shit out of you for saying that. Or anything, really. Doesn't take a lot to set Emi off. Voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson. Actually, you know what? Since she's a pig-tailed teenager with a friend named Rin and her legs are artificial, Emi's gonna be voiced by Hatsune Miku. SO I DECREE.

Hanako "Harlem" Ikezawa

Lost her parents to firebenders at a young age, permanently scarring her face and convincing her that we must rid the world of benders. Or maybe she just developed social anxeity. Can't quite remember the right story. At first, I thought Katey Segal should voice her, but since I can't find any decent Turanga Leela clips on YouTube, I decided on Karen Strassman, instead.

Rin "Happy Ending" Tezuka

The more artsy girl among the potential Shoujos. What she lacks in arms she makes up for in her lack of arms. Voiced by Tara Strong.

Lilly "Sugartits" Satou

Yearly winner of "Yamaku's Thickest Goddamn Eyebrows Competition". I'd say she's the team mom, given how prim and proper and above everything she is, but most people don't want to fuck their moms. Following that awkward note, she's voiced by Hynden Welch.

Shizune "My Parents are Assholes" Hakamichi

I have no idea why her left arm is fading into the darkness.

Anyway, My Parents are Assholes. The head of the student council, she rules with an iron fist. None will stand in the way of her ruthless conquest. NONE! I'd find it fitting to have Tara Platt voice her, but Shizune's deaf/mute, so that's not happening. Instead, she'll be voiced by Ellen McLain.

(Actually, there's something I have to tell you about Shizune. She speaks entirely in brackets, because that's how sign language works. This isn't a joke on my part; it's actually something in the game. Yea, premature spoilers, but it's just easier to get this out of the way. Anyway, brackets in the thread, too.)

Shiina "Misha" Mikado

..........Shit. Shizune's interpreter, she compensates for Shizune's silence by being as loud as humanly possible. (Also, her genitals smell of cabbage. Probably.) Therefore, I find it appropriate that she will be voiced by Amber Nash.

Miki "Shalashaska" Miura

I only know two things about this girl: she's on the running team, and she's missing a hand. (Presumably, the two events are related.) Unfortunately, she doesn't get her own route. Hell, as of writing this, she doesn't even have her own page on the site. What the fuck!? All she really gets is a speaking role in Hanako's route. Yes, Hanako's. I have absolutely no clue why. Voiced by Patric Zimmerman.

Debora "Sir Not Appearing in this Thread" Ludman
Too bad, too. I'm sure you guys would've loved her.
Kenji "I Am The Tropes" Setou

Imagine if Dale Gribble traveled to Japan and decided to fuck a Doctor Who cardboard cutout, and you have a pretty good idea of what Kenji is like. (What's Doctor Who doing in Japan? FEMINIST CONSPIRACY!) Voiced by Billy West. Obviously.

The Nurse

OK, honestly. What could I tell you about this guy that you can't glean from his name? He's really only relevant in Emi's route, making the scant cameo in every other route. (Except Shizune's, for some reason.) Voiced by Eric Stuart.

Professor Mutou

One of two teachers in the entire game, he teaches Hisao the arts of sci-wait, I think I had this guy as my college professor. Let's just give him Justin Roiland's voice and move right along.


The extremely nervous librarian and restaurant hostess. Given my trend of referencing previous blogs, she's probably going to date a ghastly beast of a man very soon. Or maybe she's dating a demon. Or maybe she works for demons. Or maybe she is a demon. Who can say? Voiced by Steve Little.

Akira Satou

Lilly's older sibling. Works as a lawyer. Sort of like Phoenix Wright if he had a great set of tits. That's right: this lawyer's all woman. As such, she will be voiced by whoever the hell voiced Naoto Shirogane. Oh, fuck it. Laura Bailey.

I've heard that this game features multiple routes and endings, too. Will you introduce some unnecessarily strange time travel element to tie them all together into one cohesive narrative thread?

You bet your ass I will!

One cohesive forum thread, too?

Oddly enough, no. This thing is going to be massive, and collecting it all in one thread would destroy browsers the world over. Instead, I'm going to split things up based on route. New route, new thread.

I should also mention that I'm going to be going double speed. That might negate the browser thing from before, but it's for the best. I don't want to spend twelve updates doting on Rin peeling an orange.

Oh. Well, do we at least get to choose what order you go through the game?

Sadly, no. This mess of a feature is only going to make sense if I go through it a certain way, and that way I shall go. (It's not the order I put in the banner or the character table, by the way. I'm not that obvious.) Besides, since when did Kings support democracy? Come on, you guys.

Fuck you, man! I'm gonna make my own screenshot thread! With blackjack, and hookers!

Go ahead. The game's a free download. Or you can stay here and watch an expert do it.

Also, I think I've hit my quota for Futurama references today. Let's get this party started.

"Why I chose to come out here in the middle of winter is beyond me."
"Really beginning to question why I'm out here."
With a U...even if that doesn't make a lot of sense.
That's what we in the biz call "foreshadowing".
You've GOT to work on your pick-up lines, man.
That's going to explain a lot.
Then why is this introduction so loquacious?
Iwanako gets a lightning bolt in the chest in 3, 2...
"......I knew I should've chosen another vessel for Grima."
"And I'm still face down in the snow."
Good to know.
You know, I probably should've mentioned his serious heart condition at some point. I guess I forgot when I saw that heavy reading tires him out.
You get it?
*breaks out in horribly cruel laughter* The best part? The game freezes on this exact shot, so you can appreciate it in all its glory.
Pissier than a diuretic? You better believe it!
I give him three updates, tops.
He spends about four lines on this gate. That's too long for gates.
That smug fucking gate. Why can't you leave Babyface alone?
First update in, and the characters already know they're in a screenshot thread. This is going swimmingly.
"I collapsed in tears when confronted with that painting. Again."
I'm highly skeptical of any situation where Haru-he Suzumiya is considered "normal".
Gang signs.
Tell them about the gate. They'll fucking eat it up.
Hisao flashed actual gang signs at her. Awkwardness ensued.
"Vegan food? WHAT THE HELL'S THIS BULLSHIT!?" (Also, Super Mario All Stars voices echo throughout the cafeteria, for some reason.)
You know, the normal questions to ask when you go to a new school.
It's 1 in the afternoon. That's FAR too early to be hitting the bottle.
Natural reaction.
I'm imagining something like Dead or Alive Xtreme if over half the characters were extremely uncomfortable being there.
That includes Shizune.
And have I mentioned how uncomfortable I am in this guy's introduction? See if you can spot why.
I'm already starting to miss Tokimeki High.
Maybe not. You'd better not be related to demons, Bespectacled Boy.
But I can't see him, and he still looks stupid.
Only one of those is in this screenshot.
Hicchan? Isn't that Misha's nickname for Hisao?.....I don't want to think about it.
"Where did I put that porn? I know I packed i....Oh no. Mom and Dad found it while they were unpacking, didn't they? I suddenly realize what a long semester I'm in for."
Hisao Nakai: put him in your mouth.
And then he died. The end.

#1 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -

OK, so it turns out I can't post this to the actual Katawa Shoujo board right now. The site's wonking up on me, so let's hope it gets fixed soon.

#2 Posted by pyromagnestir (4380 posts) -

You picked a hell of a time to start a new screenshot thread.

#3 Posted by TooWalrus (13319 posts) -

New favorite thread.

#4 Edited by Slag (5450 posts) -

awwwwwwwwww puppy, here we go.

#5 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -

@slag said:

awwwwwwwwww puppy, here we go.

You might want to hold on to that comment.

#6 Edited by EXTomar (5024 posts) -

My body is ready for the white knuckle ride this thread is going to take me on but my mind is weak!

#7 Edited by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
Part the 二番目

@pyromagnestir said:

You picked a hell of a time to start a new screenshot thread.

Of all the times to post a new screenshot thread, I had to choose the day the servers blew up. Is this any way to treat the anniversary of my first screenshot journey?

Anyway, have some Sugartits.

Yes, Hisao, people with dark skin are normal. I hope I don't have to explain this to you again.
If ever I needed one screenshot to summarize Katawa Shoujo, I'd probably use something else. But this would do in a pinch.
"The unfit filth will soon fade from existence, and only the glorious Overmen will remain. All who oppose progress must be eradicated." (Shizune, of course, has tuned out some time ago.)
"There's no way this school has a secret cage wrestling club that meets on the roof."
"Then how do you explain all these bruises on my stomach?" "I can think of several reasons how those got there."
"That probably explains why she never gets any work done, and maybe Shizune's current mood."
If anybody knows where to get something to eat, it's probably Misha.
Hell no.
That explains why we're the only people in the cafeteria: the place smells like dead antelope. You've GOT to learn to hold that smell in, Shizune.
You Americans play some weird video games.
"I don't think sex has winners or l-" "EVERYTHING HAS WINNERS AND LOSERS."
I was lucky to grab this before she darted off screen.
Guess what's gonna happen when he starts dating Shizune?
Do not believe her lies, Hicchan. She's going to raze the land and salt the Earth. She will turn a blind eye to the screams of millions.
"You sure about that, Hicchan? I mean, she's really invested in this YouTube video. I think she forgot you were still playing." "...........Just tell her, OK?"
You bitch.
Actually, I think that's just bishie.
It's always better to go down in a blaze of glory.
"Shizune says that she was e-" "I know what she said."
I guess that's his way of saying that I'm not tackling Shizune's route.
"I mean, it's not something I would LIKE, but I suppose there are worse ways I could spend my time."
"It probably doesn't help that she's actually twisting a knife into me. I don't remember the Student Council at my old school being this serious."
There are only two times on any clock: Library Time and Not Library Time.
See if YOU can spot them.
.....OK, fine, that's one of them.
I like to imagine he's actually pressing JUST his fingertips against the door, rather than simply pressing his hand against it like an actual person would.
"...Did I hit a time warp back to the 1800s?"
How comforting, especially since the teacup has to be invisible or something.
I'd better not have to explain things to you again. That's all I'm going to say.
Lilly Satou...Kenji don't think...
.....Couldn't be.
Because only Japanese people have accents. I guess.
"Pleased to meet you, Sugartits." ".....I'm sorry. What was that?"
"This early? Aren't we a li-" "Of tea?" "....Oh. Right."
OK, so I didn't just take a badly timed screenshot before. The tea actually is imaginary.
"Yep, still blind."
"You mean like you?" "....I.....I, uh...."
Bros before hos.
"Have I really spent that long with L....Uh, Lilly, do you smell smoke?"

#8 Posted by Jeust (11373 posts) -

Interesting Persona 3 photoshop. It's quite hilarious!

#9 Posted by EXTomar (5024 posts) -

IIRC, she was pretty "excited" to go to that library.

#10 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
Part the 三番目

It has just occurred to me that I've nearly killed off the main character at the end of each update. Rest assured that this will not become a running gag.

"I'm honestly surprised that she figured it out before I did. What made me think somebody was lighting the building on fire?"
Am I gonna have to break out the Misha heads already? I thought I'd have to wait a month at least.
Don't do it, Lilly. You're messing with forces you cannot control.
"It sounded like the suffering screams of all of humanity, and they were telling me to....I'm not quite sure what they were telling me."
Your fate is sealed. Don't try to delay the inevitable.
"I know what I must do." "Lilly....W-" "Yes, m'lord. We mustn't contaminate the sacrifice."
"It's just that....well, you've seen Lilly, right?"
"The way she can be completely placid one minute, and then start screaming in tongues the's unnerving, to say the least."
"I don't know why she does that. I keep telling her that Braille varies between languages, but she keeps sending me these books. Still, it gives me something to do, I suppose."
"Then would you like to offer yourself as the sacrifice? Our dark lord is patient, but even he has his limits. Do not test him."
Yea, I think that's enough demon jokes for one update. Let's go check up on another important character.
Aw, shit.
"She doesn't seem particularly comfortable with me looking at her scars. I stare at her for a couple more minutes just to be sure."
You're missing out, man. Probably.
She's clearly uncomfortable with the situation. That's already been established. Your gawking at her scars probably isn't making things better for her, is it?
Your face says "You've crossed a line", but your posture says "I'm gonna be late for Yamaku Cage Match".
You know there's A LOT more to the situation than that. You were looking for some books, happened to notice her, sat down next to her to read, and then fucked it all up by fixating on her scars and making her feel extremely anxious.
Yea, five or six lines describing her burn wounds is "looking in her general direction a few times".
"....I don't see how that relates to my problems with Hanako."
A relatively small librarian completely disconnected from reality: tact.
No doubt how you guys feel about this thread.
Still relevant to the thread. It's amazing how prescient this game's writing is.
Is that Yamaku's equivalent of the n-word?
He's living in a better one.
For Hisao, girls running in terror from him is barely worth mentioning. Let that sink in for a second.
Don't worry, Babyface. Someday, you'll be ready to talk to the ladies.
This one's...a bit hard to respond to, honestly. I mean, Kenji DID ask him what she looks like. I can't fault him for that.
I love how the meaner option's on the top, where you'd normally click. Screw it. Hanako's cute. FUCKING COME AT ME.
Gangs, demons, and cute girls. The myriad secrets of Yamaku High.
"I know what you mean. I'm surprised she didn't have to get her stomach pumped."
My dating strategy, ladies and gents.
And this is pretty much Kenji's entire character: rail on about the feminists and scream himself off stage. He's the hero we need, but the something something whatever.
"That girl still has feelings, you know. How do you think she felt when you broke three minutes of silence with 'Your face'?"
Oh, I'm gonna get A LOT of use out of this pic. A LOT of use.
Maybe something out of this one, too.
Hisao, you know that your HEAD is supposed to go on the pillow, right?
That beige wall is simply inspiring.
It's like the game is teasing me with such easy material. DAMN YOU, FOUR LEAF STUDIOS!

Oh, and I probably should've used this somewhere in the update:

Loading Video...

#11 Posted by baka_shinji17 (596 posts) -

I liked Katawa Shoujo. Upon first hearing about it I rolled my eyes and declared "oh one of those games". But after an acquaintance suggested I give it a try, I did so. What I experienced was rather strange and a bit harrowing. At the time I had just started college and had no real friends(still working on that btw), so I immediately related to Hisao. The first route and ending I took was Rin's and I will say that it left me in tears. Her inability to properly communicate and articulate her emotions/thoughts was something I aso related to. Then I went and finished up the other routes. To me, Shizune's was my fave cause it had the most optimistic ending. I didn't play this game(yes it is damnit!) for the sex scenes, though for the most part I found they were done in a tasteful and true to life manner. Overall Katawa Shoujo was a great experience.

#12 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -

Overall Katawa Shoujo was a great experience.

I agree quite a bit. Prepare to hear as much from me over this long experience.

To me, Shizune's was my fave cause it had the most optimistic ending.

Oddly enough, I didn't like her ending. Kind of a mellow way to end things, at least compared to the other endings.

For me, Harlem and Happy Ending get the coveted spot of "favorite route". They're both such compelling characters, and I love my time with them in each route. (Plus all the weird direction this thread goes. That helps a lot.) That much hasn't changed since my last playthrough. Maybe Harlem's higher this time, but that's about it. I will say that Shizune's route has gone up several notches, though, after Misha's suicidal revelation.

#13 Posted by TooWalrus (13319 posts) -

I can't sleep. This is some good bedtime reading. I'm glad we've moved past the "the thing being described isn't shown and that's funny" type of jokes, too.

#14 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
Part the 四番目

I can't sleep. This is some good bedtime reading. I'm glad we've moved past the "the thing being described isn't shown and that's funny" type of jokes, too.

Of all the updates to say that on.

Misha's got that covered, and you don't have enough of a running start to take BOTH of you down.
If this image doesn't describe this thread now, it will eventually.
See if you can spot them.
Take the hint.
Wrong hint, but I'll allow it.
"Still, I feel really bad about sneezing and accidentally headbutting you in the nose. I honestly don't know how that happened."
What about "Lilly the tall girl" or "Lilly the blonde girl" or "Lilly the Nazi wet dream" or "Lilly the demonically possessed" or I think you get the point.
("Looks like she packed the good stuff today. I hope Hisao doesn't ask for any.")
"Someday, though. Someday, I'll find out what girls have in between their legs."
Almost like they're regular people.
"What's that little brown smudge on the side of your lip?" ("Aw, man.")
You get it? Because she's walking? And Emi's a couple of screenshots away?
What the hell happened here?
[Damn, girl. You didn't have to look at the poor bastard, and you STILL got him.]
Never mind. It was just a small girl wearing prosthetic legs instead of clothes.
SOMEBODY has to apologize for that fashion sense. Who the hell tucks their shirt into their underwear?
Wait, are we playing as Matt Rorie?....Because I'm cool with that.
I fail to see the gender ambiguity that Hisao sees.
Lilly and Hanako are having none of Emi's excuses. Show her no mercy.
Checking to see if Emi caused any serious damage when she bumped into you? Understandable. Doing so by ripping open your shirt in front of these three girls (and showing them your extensive surgery scars)? Less understandable. Lilly reacting alongside Emi and Hanako? Completely incomprehensible.
"........Lilly?........Hanako?...." "....D.....did it hurt?"
Uh, Lilly's from the 1850s, not the 1950s. And that doesn't even begin to explain why Hanako's going along.
"Lilly's blind and Hanako probably received her scars in a horrible fire; Shizune's deaf and spending time with Misha feels like being in a horrible fire."
What the hell's going on with this kid's eye?
"I still wish I could ask people upfront about their disabilities. Lilly's story about her blindness has got to be amazing."
Which has also dried up.
"That fucking bitch."
You're doing a great job.
Poor Hisao. College is going to eat you alive.
Poor Hisao. College is going to eat you alive.
Curses. Next time, Mutou. Next time.
"Have you considered responding to their personalities instead of their disabilities? Huh? Have you? You little punk?" "....You've been drinking, haven't you?"
"Well, YOU can't, but you understand what I mean, right?"
I feel I can name a couple.
Well, looks like we found out why he was drinking a few screenshots back.
"No, Misha, that's a finger."
Man, what a way to get fired. A loud pink girl bursts into the room, confuses her digits for distress, and then tells you to pack your shit.
This has little to do with Mutou being fired.
Nomiya? Aw, shit. How about we skip him for a billion updates?
"Cold", "dead"....yea, those words describe Nomiya pretty well. Not that we'll ever find out why. Hopefully.

Loading Video...

#15 Posted by MattyFTM (14593 posts) -


#16 Edited by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -

@mattyftm said:


I wouldn't ship it.

(I would, however, move this topic to the Katawa Shoujo board. I've tried that myself, but it still doesn't want to work. Maybe because there are already posts here?)

#17 Edited by MattyFTM (14593 posts) -

@video_game_king: We do have a workaround to move threads... but it's a pain in the ass anyways, and with blog posts it deletes the entire content of your post. We can copy/paste the entire thing back in, but then it duplicates the entire content of the post when viewed on your actual blog page.

So it's staying put for now. Once the bug gets fixed, we can move it for you.

#18 Posted by ZombiePie (6164 posts) -

@mattyftm: I find it incredibly disturbing that the first time I see you comment on the a for a porn game.

#19 Posted by MattyFTM (14593 posts) -

@zombiepie: I post plenty often. Like, I posted something just the other month. Just before my month long alcohol binge.

Also, ❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤Emi❤

#21 Edited by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
Part the 五番目

Part 5 (that's what those arcane symbols mean), and we finally meet all the shoujos from the intro post. Akira and Miki are still at large.

Why is SHE puzzled? She doesn't have to deal with somebody pointing at you and screaming apropos of nothing.
I guess just being in the art room makes you sound all artsy and pretentious.
.....How's that even supposed to work?
I guess that works.
Or it doesn't when there's an actual girl in the room.
Are you going to compare every girl in this game to some type of rabbit? Or only the girls I like the most?
Well, THAT was fast.
I feel like that's a pun.
Too bad. The thread's going on for a billion more updates.
I'm curious. Is it?
Well, whaddaya know? It is!
She knows.
Don't try to hide it from us. We all saw that list of side effects.
Gotta catch 'em all, heart disease. (I expect a techno dance remix of that, too.)
"I'm still not buying it."
That's how biology works.
"Hey, I'm not the one who needs medicine to get their dick working."
"I sincerely doubt that's a real disability."
There's a good chance he does. I think at least one event in each route is watching a girl sleep.
I wouldn't. After all, she DID just get Mutou fired. Just as the feminists planned.
You DO realize that Shizune has a gun, right?
"How long's a person have to wait to eat her damn lunch around here!?"
Can anybody understand Misha?
"That's so beautiful." "Wait, you understand sign language? Huh. Didn't think you'd know about that sort of thing." "....What's sign language?"
The world ends not with a bang, but with a Metzinger.
Kind of an odd time to call a girl fat, especially with the end of the world impending and all.
"Psssst. I think he's talking about your junk." "Why did you lean in that close if you weren't going to whisper it?"
Come on, Hisao. Demonic gangster jokes never go out of style. Right?..........Right?
We get it: you have erectile dysfunction.
Apparently, a school where everybody has exactly one friend is "tightly knit."
This is the generic answer he gives, by the way. For whatever reason, this elates Nurse Drying Pan here.
In plain sight.
"You've seen too much as it is. Wouldn't want those pretty little legs broken in half, now, would you?" (".....Wouldn't that make exercise more difficult?")
Where's the "go fuck yourself" option? (Lilly's route. Just you wait.)
Everything is her fault, now and forever.
"Did you just say the word 'sigh' out loud?"
And it was here I noticed that this school doesn't have wheelchair accessible ramps leading into it.
"Have you tried telling anybody about this?" "That pink haired girl. She told me that I'll have to paint these walls John McClane style if I ask any more questions, and her friend just waved her arms around. I don't get it."
I guess everybody at this school is part Pokemon.

#22 Posted by pyromagnestir (4380 posts) -

I wonder if updating these threads later on in the day (or whatever time that might be moon time) might mean more people notice and could potentially reply to it? If so you'd less often be locking yourself out of posting. Or something.

#23 Edited by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
Part the 六番目

@pyromagnestir said:

I wonder if updating these threads later on in the day (or whatever time that might be moon time) might mean more people notice and could potentially reply to it? If so you'd less often be locking yourself out of posting. Or something.

Guess not.

Why should Kenji get to keep all the misogyny for himself?
George Lucas.
Hanako's is better.
Not sure what that means, but moving right along...
You mean like Emi?
See? Even Rin's with me on this one.
Not THAT Sly.
"Most of the labels have long, hard to read words. They look like chemical names, but Rin tells me to get back to mixing."
Katawa Shoujo in a nutshell.
"Other people use the track? Fascinating. Simply fascinating."
"Hikikomenotsuriganabichiko O'Connelly....I think."
A fact that has lodged itself quite firmly into my brain over the course of this particular scene. Or something.
You fucking know it.
"And then you took your shirt off in front of me and these other two girls you were with. It was....awkward."
"But weren't YOU the one who took off his shirt?"
I'd chastise Hisao for that if we all didn't know that one kid growing up who WOULD take his shirt off as a joke.
I've always pegged Hanako as more of a spy. No reason.
Then why didn't you go to the pools?
You're not in a position to say that. *wink wink*
"I prefer a guy who can get it up FAST. *wink wink*"
Among other things.
Was Hisao bathing himself in the toilet?
"If what you seek is 'truth', then your search will be even harder..."
Oh. It's Kenji. Never mind.
Not that there was much to notice in the first place.
I guess that means the Persona 4 reference a while back is completely upside down.
Which were completely fogged up exactly one screenshot ago.
Let's hold onto this until Hisao's dating Lilly.
YOU VASTLY UNDERESTIMATE MY DEDICATION TO PIZZA. Especially knowing it will destroy Babyface's heart.
As a die-hard pizza aficionado, I can verify this statement.
"But enough about Domino's."
Kenji's dick can imitate a dying cow. That is all.
Because moribund bovine are erotic. I guess.
You'd be surprised. Some feminists actually consider porn liberating.

Loading Video...

Or Metal Gear Solid 4. Either works.

#24 Posted by pyromagnestir (4380 posts) -

You didn't even update it later! Let alone repeat the process a few times to see if the results are consistent. Your conclusion is not scientifically viable.

#25 Posted by AlexanderSheen (5148 posts) -

Lilly all the way and Miki needs her own route! That is all.

#26 Posted by TooWalrus (13319 posts) -

Hikikomenotsuriganabichiko O'Connelly. She's half Japanese, half Scottish, right?

#27 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -

Hikikomenotsuriganabichiko O'Connelly. She's half Japanese, half Scottish, right?

You're thinking of Sugartits. Also, 引き米のつり仮名美地子 O'Connelly. Apparently, that's what happens when I type out the name in Japanese.

#28 Posted by TooWalrus (13319 posts) -

@toowalrus said:

Hikikomenotsuriganabichiko O'Connelly. She's half Japanese, half Scottish, right?

You're thinking of Sugartits. Also, 引き米のつり仮名美地子 O'Connelly. Apparently, that's what happens when I type out the name in Japanese.

I know very well Sugartits is half scottish. I... I played this. Her route, twice.

#29 Edited by Generic_username (694 posts) -

I somehow missed this when you posted it. but still SO MUCH HYPE.

EDIT: And possibly starting on Hanako, too, from the looks of it. (not super far in, so forgive me if that's not the case) If you fuck it up with her, I don't know if I'll be able to forgive you for making me see that.

#30 Edited by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
Part the 七番目

I meant to post this earlier today, but I was too occupied to get around to it until now. Going forward, expect these to go up around noon. Consistency, folks!

With a stiffy? *ba dum tish*
And lo, Tumblr was born.
This conversation better stop soon.
"Aren't all movements crappy?" "Huh. You've got a point." "I'm also convincing. But that's not important."
For clips from Borat. You know the ones.
"Leave the soap, though. I feel like we're all gonna need it."
I guess Misha isn't the only one into wearing other people's skin and stealing their identities. Just have to figure out what Lilly did with Misha's body.
I first read this as "puff out her chest", not "puff out her cheeks". I don't know what to make of this anymore.
"I can't keep waiting, Miss Satou. And neither can my associate. I'd be sleeping with one eye open if I were you? Shicchan, that doesn't ma....yes, ma'am."
I'd call this an awkward translation, but I'm pretty sure this game was originally written in English.
I can think of several reasons why that may be.
"You know what we're talking about. We've seen the 'special brownies' you've been sharing with that Sadako girl, or whatever her name is. Maybe if you spread the love around, we'll overlook your tardiness."
"She signs so furiously that she sends Misha flying straight to the floor. I think she noticed." "Aaaa....the enemy's down...let's....f...finish this? Shicchan, what are y-"
Looks like Misha isn't the only psychotic one here...sort of.
Let's rock.
Good on you, Misha. I'm still having trouble figuring out what the hell happened to Lilly.
[What was that? 'Hey, come on! Help Lilly cut off my sack'? Can do!]
Then how can you still see them?
"Man, if only Shizune could hear this."
Understandable when you have to pack your shit by the end of the week.
Given what's happened today, this is also understandable.
Neither of them are pleased with this arrangement.
Fuck you, Shizune.
Fuck you hard.
"I feel like Hanako might not be comfortable around other people. But, I AM already up, sooooo....."
"What are you talking about? It's two in the afternoon."
"I mean, I tried that one time, but then I collapsed face-first into the snow."
And then he gets all sloppy with the painting.
"Did you put him up to it?" "Well, of course I did. I'm the class representative." "And you've been checking on him regularly?" ".....Is there a reason why I should?"
Then why does this room have a map? And a regular clock?
Which was your plan all along?
Have you tried "fuckbuddy"?
Wait, you're bringing Hanako, of all people, along with you to meet Kenji? This can't possibly end well.
"What are you doing on the floor?" "......You serious?"
"Oh, you mean that burned up rabbit girl you met in the library the other day?" " told him about that?"
YOU THINK? (Also, second thoughtS? What?)

#31 Posted by pyromagnestir (4380 posts) -

How you managed to resist the urge to go with a bowel movement joke is beyond me.

Then again, I have the sense of humor of a four year old. A four year old who knows what bowel movement means, that is.

Also is that leaf just there or did you put it there? I'm guessing the former, but the latter would be more amusing.

#32 Edited by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -

@pyromagnestir said:

How you managed to resist the urge to go with a bowel movement joke is beyond me.

I thought I did go with the bowel movement joke. At least at first.

Also is that leaf just there or did you put it there? I'm guessing the former, but the latter would be more amusing.

God, I wish I had that level of Photoshop skill. I can't even find the right font for the text. But alas, it's there in the original.

And possibly starting on Hanako, too, from the looks of it. (not super far in, so forgive me if that's not the case) If you fuck it up with her, I don't know if I'll be able to forgive you for making me see that.

And as long as I'm responding, this is generally going to be a 100% feature. All routes, all endings, all scenes, all in one cohesive abridged narrative. Kind of.

#33 Posted by pyromagnestir (4380 posts) -

Heh, I'm more tired than I thought then, cuz I completely missed it.

#34 Edited by TooWalrus (13319 posts) -

But, posting this at noon means I can't keep reading it first thing in the morning. ...unless I start sleeping until noon every day. Oh man. That sounds great.

Also, I never got to see Romnie James Dio live. I was going to a few summers ago but he had to go and get stomach cancer. ...don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about.

#35 Edited by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
Part the 八番目

A week in, and we've already surpassed the number of screenshots I took of this game before. What monster hath I wrought?

No, it's a regular classroom.
Can you save it for when Hisao's actually dating a girl?
Hanako must be really confused about your sudden Metal Gear Solid attitude.
"I swear we'll have our revenge. I can't have that blood on my hands."
"Tell me about it. You should really see these, Lilly,, damn it!"
I guess Shizune was talking about more than Misha yesterday.
I like to imagine him actually flailing his arms around, like he scared himself with something he knew would happen.
This thread: the screenshot.
Which you can apparently tell from many meters away.
"So, any particular reason you came back?" "......I'll have to get back to you on that."
He doesn't know how to respond to girls enjoying themselves.
Back to your honey, then.
Stop telling these people that they're in a video game. I already have enough problems writing jokes.
Don't you mock me.
I know that it doesn't come off much here, but he REALLY talks himself out of running. Makes you wonder why he bothered showing up in the first place.
"I can't imagine that would place too much stress on my heart."
Full release expected some time in whenever the hell this joke makes sense.
Even though he never mentioned anything about hats.
"That's not what I meant by test date." "Oh....uh....(I think I'm better off not knowing what he means by that.)"
It's all because of this memory from when he was very little. He picked up a phone, heard Gloria Steinem's voice on the other end, and was traumatized for life.
Logic is depressing.
This doesn't get any better with time, and that's not really a joke.
No pause for the festival? That's more depressing than logic!
The diet du jour of half the people reading this.
Mob mentality.
Must...resist....Persona jokes....
".....Suddenly, I know exactly what it's like being Hanako. It doesn't feel good."
Wouldn't that make it incomplete?
My money's on Misha, if only for the alliteration.
"Light seems to bend around her, and her voice echos across the nothing."
"From beyond all boundaries of space and time, I have tracked you down. There is no escaping your fate."
"I am..."
" the mood for some curry."
Spoiler alert: every girl you can possibly date (and Kenji) ends up on the roof at some point.
Don't fuck with Yamaku security.
"Hey, Hisao! You've been staring off into space for, like, fifteen minutes! Are you gonna eat your lunch or what?"
"Are you being sarcastic?"
I don't know. Rin doesn't seem too comfortable with it, either.
Probably (hopefully) the latter.

#36 Posted by Slag (5450 posts) -

This game is free? How does it make money? ads?

#37 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -

@slag said:

This game is free? How does it make money? ads?


#38 Posted by pyromagnestir (4380 posts) -

@slag said:

This game is free? How does it make money? ads?


And here I've been giving my love away for free and paying money for all my games, like a sucker.

#39 Posted by Bollard (6317 posts) -

This is pretty good, yo.

#40 Edited by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
Part the 九番目

In today's update, Hisao spends some quality time with two of Yamaku's buxom babes. And Emi.

"You have disgraced my clan for the last time, rice ball. I will end you and your kin right here and now! *eats said rice ball all adorable-like*"
"So....what do girls have in between their legs?"
("Why did you bring him up here?") ("Shut up. I thought it was a good idea, OK?")
Good to know the people in the housing department are idiots.
Or none of your limbs.
"......When did this happen?" "I don't know. You've been armless for as long as we've known each other." "And you're only telling me now?"
That's probably a good idea.
Guess that means Hisao's not dating Emi.
So Rin and Hanako are rabbits, and Emi's a puppy. I have to wonder what everybody else is. Maybe Lilly's a ferret.
Emi doesn't understand Final Fantasy X, does she?
"This one time, she dug her claws into my back for not being able to find the book she was looking for. It was bad. I'm still recovering."
Hooray for learning.
Perhaps now would be a good time to tell Lilly that she's standing in the middle of the road.
"*low pitched groan*"
Well, I guess we know where the tacks from the Tokimeki thread ended up.
"The unisex bathrooms?"
It wasn't very wise in the first place.
"This girl wants to party."
It isn't just Fridays for Hanako.
BACK THE FUCK UP. What 7/11s has this guy been in that have bakery sections?
You've forgotten what winter is; all you've accomplished is confusing the hell out of the girl next to you.
"And neither does yours. Could you explain why you're panting so much?"
"*low pitched groan*"
"There's also this thing about time travel and Egyptian priestesses, but I haven't worked that in, yet."
A great way to spend a Friday night.
Maybe it's because you have...amnesia!
Here's the logic behind his statement. He won because he got with two girls; he lost because those girls are Rin and Lilly.
This pleases Lilly, for some reason.
"You don't meet too many psychics with erecti-" "YOU KNOW, we should probably get going, Lilly."
"She's gonna find out ev-" "I'd love to chat, but we should REALLY get going."
Yea, THAT'S what you have to worry about debunking.
Get used to that feeling. It's gonna come up quite a bit.
"Rin can go eat a dick, b-DON'T YOU SAY ANYTHING....but Lilly's alright."
"And a pretty messed up d-" "Why did I even bring you with us?"
Apparently, the game takes place in 2012. Seriously, go check it out.
"Possibly. Still giving it some thought."
This isn't the time travel angle I promised at the beginning of this thread.
"When she's sleeping, in the shower, out of town, in the bathroom...she just can't be alone."

Loading Video...

#41 Edited by Generic_username (694 posts) -

@video_game_king said:

And as long as I'm responding, this is generally going to be a 100% feature. All routes, all endings, all scenes, all in one cohesive abridged narrative. Kind of.

Oh god. I'm scared. I will play along with you for the other routes, but I can not take part in fuckng things up with Hanako. You know my feelings about that. By the way, I've been completely unable to post that blog to the specific forum it belongs in, too, so it's a problem that's been going on for a pretty long while.

You have successful forced my hand, I will begin playing through the other routes now that you've started this.

#42 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -

Oh god. I'm scared. I will play along with you for the other routes, but I can not take part in fuckng things up with Hanako.

The strange thing is that her non-good endings actually end up making some fantastic updates later on. It's a long road and I know it sounds like the craziest thing in the world, but it's gonna pay off pretty damn well.

By the way, I've been completely unable to post that blog to the specific forum it belongs in, too, so it's a problem that's been going on for a pretty long while.

You can post it to the forums just fine now. Go in, edit the blog, and post it to the game board like you usually would.

You have successful forced my hand, I will begin playing through the other routes now that you've started this.

You'd better play fast. We've got a couple weeks left on this route, and it's gonna become fairly obvious who I'm tackling in the next few days.

#43 Posted by Generic_username (694 posts) -

You'd better play fast. We've got a couple weeks left on this route, and it's gonna become fairly obvious who I'm tackling in the next few days.

On it.

#44 Edited by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
Part the 十番目

Just one more day until we find out which route I'm leading with. And by that, I mean "just one more day until I state the obvious and update the banner already."

"No, Hanako's strong. She can go a couple hours without me around. Giving her booze. Still..."
"She really needs the beer, but she doesn't look old enough to get it herself without people asking a lot of questions."
That goes without saying.
"Weren't you fired a few days ago?"
"How many opportunites would they get to say something like that?" "..............." "On second thought, I don't think I'd like to know."
You're literally one class away from her. It's not particularly weird.
"And she must have poor vision if she has to hold the book that close to her face."
"I'm still not sure how I got here."
Your Chun-Li cosplay is terrible.
I'm not certain where you're getting the "she" part.
"I was talking to the air."
Are you hitting on your sister? Because there are a LOT of issues with that.
You're realizing that this late in the game? Which I guess is somewhat early in the game?
"Well, you still owe me the money. That second trailer isn't going to pay for itself."
"Hisao? You actually said that one out loud this time. You weren't just thinking it to yourself."
It's almost like she can't see or something. (Or maybe he's still hung up about that walk home. It's hard to tell.)
"REALLY strong. Like 'I don't think she'll be allowed back in school for the rest of the day' strong."
If anything, it just makes the situation worse.
There isn't a lot to be envious of.
That you never bothered paying for the first drink?
Oh. That works, too.
Man, this is worse than the time Kenji did the exact same thing on Family Guy.
Yea, kind of like that.
Just be patient. The thread's going to get better.
Again, clearly.
And then Kenji busted out some sick licks.
Will the visuals ever match the narration?
Just at the bottom of that cliff.
It says, "Fresh noodles! Protects you from the feminist threat! Open your eyes, people! Nyaaaoooooooow!" (He actually spelled out the Nyaaaoooooooow.)
"And swipe the register."
"Good thing this is the stand from the vision-impaired class. Makes it a lot easier lying to her about it."
"Alright: I'll create a diversion, and you kick it to the tea room. I'll meet you at sunset."
"That much, huh? Screw it. Put it back. I'm not going to jail over 2500 yen."
"Well...yea. You just told me to a minute ago."
OK, so Lilly and Misha are obviously squirrels. I guess that leaves Shizune. Smart money's on hedgehog.
And Lilly's wearing a "get me the hell out of here" expression on her face."
I think I see why.
I can REALLY see why.

Loading Video...


#45 Posted by Random45 (1398 posts) -

Wait, they're voiced? I recall when i was playing it that there weren't any voices, was that a new update or something?

I remember when I played this way back when, I did two routes - Emi's route and Shizune's route. It wasn't too bad. Fun times and stuff.

#46 Posted by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -

@random45 said:

Wait, they're voiced?

In this thread, they are. In the actual game, no. The Seiyuu thing is a fan project that the actual creators aren't too pleased with. I think we know why. It sucks.

#47 Edited by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -
Part the 十一番目
Loading Video...

I christen this thread "Sugar Milk." (Also, what a terrifying goddamn thumbnail.)

So the students live in the movie "Taken"?.......*low pitched groan*.......
".............." "..........*slowly backs away from Lilly*......"
It's an animated movie. I can't imagine that would do much for her. Plus, it's fucking Akira. That much speaks for itself.
Screw it. I guess we're dating Lilly, then.
She can hear it just fine, and it makes her day.
"She points two of her fingers to her eyes, and then to mine. I don't need to know sign language to know what she means."
"Hey, Lilly! You gotta see this!"
How did I miss this on my first playthrough?
"Beer and liquor, annihilate your shitter."
Oh. I guess that works, as well.
That's right: Hisao's dating Lilly first. I mean, you already knew that at the top of the update, but....
"This time, I actually use the shower. Can't believe I made that mistake my whole life."
Miki and Haru-he?
"Please get out of my mind."
Well, Misha, at least. Makes informing Shizune of said rumors massively tedious and cumbersome.
And class hasn't even started.
Yea, you'd have to be a real douche to ask a girl if you can eat lunch with her and then completely space out on it.
Hisao's barely into this story arc, and already, two girls have made their opinions of him rather clear.
Don't you mean "tea set"? Or is "chess" code for something?......It's meth, isn't it?
You've got to finish each game really fast before the pieces all pop out of the board. It pisses Lilly off to no end.
"Remember: both of our asses are on the line for this."
You mean he was teaching you about electrons or whatever, and then "Surprise test, motherfuckers!"?
"We're getting the chair."
He would've come, but he was too busy rocking the eff out.
You get it?......Wait, this is a Japanese pun. You probably DON'T get it.
Makes you wonder if the two of them have any other games, or if Hanako's just an asshole.
"I meant with each other. How long have you been playing chess with each other?"
"....she often says angry things I can't understand after we've finished a game."
"........Hisao? Are you going to say anything?" "........." "Hisao?"
That must feel weird. For both of them.
Alternative interpretation: "Oh, yea, and you look good or whatever."
Again, weirding out Hanako.
Lilly's very firm on that point. When she first saw Mask, she flipped the fuck OUT. Took two weeks for Hanako to work up the courage to come out of that corner, and another four before she'd speak in full words.
"Relax, Hanako. I'm much better about controlling it than I was that last time."
The question is if you'll even get it.
And just like that, we jump from that "lunch" event (Hisao forgot to eat) to the very next day. It's jarring.
He's like spam mail incarnate.

Lilly's other piece of advice?

#48 Posted by smcn (949 posts) -

I've 100%'d the game (well, technically there's one scene with Rin I didn't get) and I'm still going to read every part of this craziness.

> I can't even find the right font for the text.

#49 Edited by smcn (949 posts) -

I don't know if it was a forum error but I think a bunch of the shots in March 26th update had mixed up captions? Starting after "REALLY strong. Like 'I don't think she'll be allowed back in school for the rest of the day' strong."

#50 Edited by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -


It's probably an error. For a while, the images wouldn't show up in the text editor while I was captioning them, so I was just writing them blind. I'll get to fixing it after I do today's update later. (Can't do it now; too busy.)

Wait, what!? It's not that! IT'S NOT THAT AT ALL! This is going to take longer than I thought it would.

Also, use the damn 日本語. It's a lot easier than referencing the day I posted it. You can even copy/paste it.

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