Sup guys, I was going to title this "Yo Bitches, Why The Fuck You Like Kingdom Hearts, You Whores" but due to the new TOS I'm not allowed to.  Alas, I'm stuck naming shit all properly and whatnot.  Oh well. 
 
But seriously, Kingdom Hearts is hands down the most polarizing JRPG in the history of gaming.  Some might say Final Fantasy, but let's be honest...Kingdom Hearts get a lot of love or insane amount of hate.  It's not even a niche product as it has made Square Enix more money in the past decade than any Final Fantasy has during the same time period.  The creator of Kingdom Hearts is often criticized and praised for his character designs, story, music, and gameplay. 
 
There is no middle ground with Kingdom Hearts.  The loyal fans of Kingdom Hearts defend it to the very grave, more so than any JRPG series out there...and haters of the series will always hate it.  I doubt haters will love Kingdom Hearts III, and I doubt lovers of the series will turn into haters.  You can bring up the inane handheld side stories (Birth By Sleep doesn't count...as it's part of the official story), the lack of consistant plot, the "baby" characters, etc... 
 
Let's talk fellow Keyblade Masters (and haters), what draws you to this series?  What makes you run from it?   
 
I'll start I guess: 
 
Likes 

• Unique Idea
• Decent Music
• Solid Gameplay

• This game has a consistent plot?
• No seriously, explain the story...
• Whored Out For It's Own Good

Do you have like a list of questions to post everyday or something?? Like a fucking question of the day or something?  Thank god they aren't polls.

I like Disney. 
I don't like reinvisioning SE characters to make them more appealing to people who like Tim Burton, or whatever the fuck is going on with that shit. Gameplay's not amazing, "worlds" feel remarkably small in most cases.

Disney. Don't like it, aside from Tron and Pirates.  
 
Plus, it's too Square Enix-y. 

" Do you have like a list of questions to post everyday or something?? Like a fucking question of the day or something?  Thank god they aren't polls. "

I've played about ten minutes of KH 1 myself and never really got into it, but I can say that listening to my friend try and explain the absolute mess that is KH's plot is pretty funny.

Not a fan of Disney, also I have no clue what in the ever living fuck is going on.

Alright for someone who does enjoy the plot...just summarize the current story that happened in: 
 
BBS -> KH -> CoM -> KH2, I don't really care about the story of the side games.  Briefly explain what the fuck the story is about in the official story games.

I used to like it, but you nailed my number reason for hating it right on the head.
 
Whored out too much for it's own good.
 
The handheld versions (Chains included because they seriously should've took that story and put it in KH2 or something) are the equivalent of Star Wars: Episode 1-3. It's nice they want to try and expand the universe a bit, give us some backstory and all that jazz, but they just made things worse. Now they're stuck with story threads and characters that feel tacked on and pointless.
 
 KH Uno y Dos both still hold a nice warm place in my heart, but the rest of the series can go join ET in a landfill somewhere.

Briefly? People split in half then battle themselves. Also Mickey is there.

Like: 
 
-I like the combat. Button mashing and cinematic big boss battles are fun for me. 
-It's pretty good looking, I suppose. Some worlds have cool visual styles.
-Disney.
 
Dislike: 
 
-What in the fuck is happening in these games? 
-Mickey Mouse. Mickey Mouse does not wear a fucking black trenchcoat with a hood on it. 
-Speaking of clothing, good lord what the fuck is up with some of the character designs in here. Not only are they just....not pleasing on the eyes in most cases, they don't even make sense, like in TWEWY where you could at least believe that a bunch of sort of dumb-teenagers would be wearing what they wear.

" Briefly? People split in half then battle themselves. Also Mickey is there. "

Honestly, it's hard to articulate. The gameplay in the first two KH games (the only ones I played) was solid, but it was nothing special. The graphics and art style were good, but nothing we hadn't seen before. Somehow, though, all these individually uninteresting components combined to form a product that had an insane amount of charm and heart to it. I know using terms as unquantifiable as "charm" and "heart" sounds like a cop out, but that's the best I can do.

" @ryanwho said:

" Briefly? People split in half then battle themselves. Also Mickey is there. "

Alright you got Sora and then Roxes and then the guy in BBS...who are those guys and what do they do?   "

" They're bodies without souls, or something. Which is different than being without a heart. When a heartless combines with a nobody, something something happens and some jpop starts playing. "

Briefly explain what the fuck the story is about in the official story games. "

I like it, and would consider myself a fan, but man they really super overused everything that made the first two games unique and fun. Recycling the exact same zones and towns and characters just isn't a good way to keep a franchise fresh, and I think they did themselves a disservice by making so many inconsistent handheld games. I didn't enjoy them and don't know wtf is going on plot wise.  
 
On the GB wiki page for Kingdom Hearts 3D, it says there are going to be new worlds, but that they are redoing the first game with a different story. What does that even mean? Why can't they just make a new game that continues the story? I don't understaaand.

I played Birth By Sleep a bit and failed to see how it's a playable game. That's my only experience with Kingdom Hearts and probably the last one as well.

The first one was cool, I like disney stuff and the game play was different than I was used to.  There was enough good stuff to ignore what I didn't like.  Then I played the second and thought the not-that-hard game play was made even easier and the story scale tipped too far away from sort of laid-back disney and into square trying too hard because they realized this could be a big thing.  Those are the only ones I've played.

I like the games 'cause they're purty, with purty people and cutscenes. The combat is super mashy but I still find it pretty satisfying and the leveling systems have been consistently fun.
 
The Story is convoluted and some parts of it are just poorly told. Them retelling Disney stories in abbreviated format never turns out particularily well, which is not so strange considering a lot of characters are often cut and they have to fit in heartless/orwhatever and spiky haired anime kids into it. Even the Disney characters are simplified a bit by this, not reacting logically and often shrugging off things like the main characters presence without much question. In a way it's necessary so as not to force the characters to explain their origins in every new world they get to, but sometimes it completely ruins my suspension of disbelief. 
 
I enjoy a lot of the main story though with Roxas and Xeanhort and whatnot, but it's the same case as with MGS; while I recogize some of it as bad, I'm far to into it to bother that much with it at this point. I just go with it and enjoy it...for the most part. 
 
I think the worlds can be to small in many cases, especially in KH1, but that it has been generally improved in the sequels, or maybe I've just gotten used to it. I'm also glad that the games past KH2 brought back some light platforming, as the glide manouver is pretty useless without it.

I don't really think about it too much, I just goddamn live me some original KH. it's probably my favourite game, and I don't bother questioning why.

However, I dislike CoMs gameplay bit enjoy the story and characters, have the opposite feelings for KHII, think 368/2 is a piece of shit all around, and LOOOOOVE BBS in the same way I loved KHI.

I hate it.  only played most of 1 and a little of 2, so take that as you will!
 
-Story is convoluted load of shit. But, eh, videogames.
-Mindless combat, nonexistant dungeon design. This instantly killed it for me, its like Zelda if  had even less depth in its combat and none of the excellent puzzles. There is no strategical or psychical skill involved whatsoever. Well, I hear the secret bosses can be a challenge, but I don't care. 
-EVERYONE IS SORA
 -Not enough disney, way too much shitty anime/final fantasy characters. Art is completely unappealing, the FF characters somehow look even worse then in their respective game.  
 @GunslingerPanda said:

" However, I dislike CoMs gameplay bit enjoy the story and characters, have the opposite feelings for KHII, think 368/2 is a piece of shit all around, and LOOOOOVE BBS in the same way I loved KHI. "

"-EVERYONE IS SORA -Not enough disney, way too much shitty anime/final fantasy characters. Art is completely unappealing, the FF characters somehow look even worse then in their respective game.   "

• I don't understand this statement, is it related to the story?
• I thought there's too much Disney and not enough Final Fantasy.  >.>

" 

• I don't understand this statement, is it related to the story?

"

 
 I thought there's too much Disney and not enough Final Fantasy.  >.>

" @ryanwho said:

" They're bodies without souls, or something. Which is different than being without a heart. When a heartless combines with a nobody, something something happens and some jpop starts playing. "

...so why does Sora want to go after Rikku so much when Kairi is right there wanting to love him?  Also, why does Rikku have a Keyblade?!  Also, what do you think the KH3 plot will be about? "

" Apparently, according to BBS, the ability to wield a Keyblade has to be given to you. Terra, one of the Keyblade users from BSS, gave Riku the ability when he was a kid. The reason Sora can use it is probably because he has Ventus heart inside him (which is also apparently why Roxas looks like Ventus). 
 
This is totally a case of retconning so don't be surprised that it's completely different from the idea of how the Keyblade worked in KH1. 
 

SPOILER WARNING: Click here to reveal hidden content.

Alternatively, Riku can wield it 'cause Terra let him hold his thing, and Sora can use it 'cause he has a part of Ventus inside him.

"

Here is why I like it:

• Fun gameplay.
• Great boss battles.
• Fantastic music.
• Lengthy games.
• Feels rewarding.
• Great characters.
• Great villains.
  

• The English voice acting can be really cheesy and just plain bad at times.
• The story is a little more complex then it should be.

Alright, this is one of the one burning questions: 
 
With all these new cast of characters, how do the Disney worlds keep doing it over and over?  You figure the Disney guys wouldn't keep asking for their help, or be confused when a dude with a Keyblade comes to their world?  

I liked the first two due to the decent graphics (for their times), the fun (IMO) gameplay, etc. 
 
Don't care about the others, though

The first game shows how Sora is separated from his friends when their world, Destiny Islands, is invaded by creatures known as the Heartless. During the invasion, Sora obtains a weapon to be able to fight off the Heartless, known as the Keyblade. Soon after finding himself in Traverse Town, Sora meets Donald Duck and Goofy, two emissaries from Disney Castle sent by queen Minnie to find the wielder of the mysterious weapon, the Keyblade. The three band together and travel to different Disney-themed worlds, sealing the hearts of the worlds to prevent more Heartless invasions. Along the way, they encounter a group of Disney villains, led by Maleficent, who is controlling the Heartless. Though they eventually defeat Maleficent, the three discover that a man named Ansem is the true antagonist. Ansem's plan is to open the door to " Kingdom Hearts" in the hopes of attaining eternal darkness. Sora, Donald, and Goofy defeat Ansem, and seal the door with the help of Riku and King Mickey on the other side of the door.

 
After sealing the door to Kingdom Hearts, the three begin searching for Riku and King Mickey, finding themselves heading towards a mysterious fortress called Castle Oblivion. Upon entering the fortress, they begin to lose their memories. The three encounter a group of dark hooded villains, part of a mysterious Organization. In the castle, Sora learns his memories have been manipulated by a girl named Naminé who was being held captive by the Organization. To allow them to regain their memories, Naminé puts Sora, Donald, and Goofy to sleep for a year; in the process, they must lose the memories of their experience in Castle Oblivion. At the same time, Riku finds himself in the basement of the castle and begins traveling to the first floor with the aid of King Mickey. Riku fights both the Organization's members and the darkness in his heart, learning to accept his dual nature between light and dark. Allying himself with the mysterious DiZ, Riku aids him in keeping Sora and Naminé safe until the former is awoken. However a snag in the plan over the year forces Riku to go after a young man named Roxas, the thirteenth member of the Organization, to enable Sora's reawakening.

 
Seven days after Riku's success, Sora, Donald, and Goofy awaken in Twilight Town, with no memory of their time at Castle Oblivion, and resume their search for Riku and King Mickey. They learn of the Nobodies and are re-familiarized with their leaders, Organization XIII. Afterwards, Maleficent is resurrected and joins with Pete, another Disney villain, to find a new base of operations before resuming her quest for power and revenge on Sora. Sora once again travels to many Disney-themed worlds and resolves the troubles caused by not just Maleficent and Pete, but also Organization XIII whose members refer to him as Roxas. Meanwhile, Kairi is kidnapped by the Organization. They meet King Mickey, who reveals that the "Ansem" Sora defeated was actually the Heartless of Xehanort, a student of the real Ansem the Wise. Xemnas, the leader of Organization XIII, reveals himself to be the Nobody of Xehanort. The three arrive at the headquarters of Organization XIII, with Kingdom Hearts looming overhead, with Sora defeating all the Organization members as he is finally reunited with Kairi and Riku, who reveals Roxas as Sora's Nobody whom he captured by willingly assuming Ansem's form (Xehanort's heartless) so Roxas would be integrated back into Sora. While this occurred, Mickey finds DiZ, revealed as Ansem the Wise, with a device to digitize some of Kingdom Hearts' power, but a system overload causes the machine to explode with Ansem consumed in the blast as the others arrive, with Riku restored to his original state. At the top of the castle, Sora and his friends battle Xemnas, who uses the remnants of Kingdom Hearts to fight them. Refusing to accept defeat, Xemnas separates Sora and Riku from the others to fight them in a final battle that ends with his demise. Though initially trapped on the other side, Sora and Riku are able to return to their world after reading a letter from Kairi that reveals the door to light.

 
However, a year later, Sora, Riku and Kairi receive a message from King Mickey that was not revealed in Kingdom Hearts II, the contents of which detail his findings in Kingdom Hearts coded: It turned out Sora is destined as the "Key that Connects Everything" to save three Keyblade users who played role in both his life and his friends' lives in the past: Terra (whose body was taken by the rogue Keyblade Master, Master Xehanort, and became the young incarnation of Xehanort that Sora faced in the forms of "Ansem" and Xemnas), Ventus (whose heart, damaged following a victorious struggle against his dark half, Vanitas, ended up within Sora while his comatose body was placed within the Chamber of Wakening in Castle Oblivion), and Aqua (who ended up trapped in the realm of darkness after sacrificing herself to save Terra's body, now without access to her Keyblade, and is with Ansem the Wise after the blast from the Kingdom Hearts Encoder sent him there). Sora prepares to set out on a new journey to find and rescue his predecessors. Around the same time, King Mickey himself receives the shocking news from Yen Sid that the destruction of "Ansem" and Xemnas has led to Xehanort's restoration, and not just "a single one of him". Yen Sid orders Mickey to summon Sora and Riku to him to have them undergo the Mark of Mastery.     
 
 
 
MORE IN DEPTH 
 
Kingdom Hearts 1 
 

Kingdom Hearts begins on Destiny Islands, where Sora, Riku, and Kairi live. The three friends want to leave the islands to explore new worlds and have prepared a raft for this purpose. One night, the islands are attacked by shadow creatures—the Heartless. Sora seeks out his friends, finding Riku, who disappears into a dark portal. At the same time, Sora obtains the Keyblade, a weapon effective against the Heartless. However, the islands are destroyed and Sora drifts into space. Meanwhile, King Mickey has left his own world to deal with the increasing numbers of Heartless and left instructions for Donald and Goofy to find the "key" that will protect the worlds from the encroaching darkness.

 
Donald and Goofy use the Gummi Ship to reach Traverse Town, where Sora has drifted. Sora meets Leon, who explains that the Heartless are beings that consume hearts, and that the Keyblade is the only weapon capable of defeating them. A man named Ansem is said to have studied the Heartless. Sora then meets Donald and Goofy, and the three decide to travel together—Donald and Goofy to find King Mickey, and Sora to find Kairi and Riku. The three go to various worlds based on Disney films, finding that the Keyblade also locks "Keyholes", passages to the "heart" of a world which, when sealed, prevent it from being consumed by the Heartless. Meanwhile, a group of Disney villains, led by Maleficent, seek out the seven Princesses of Heart to unlock the final Keyhole that leads to "Kingdom Hearts", a repository of knowledge and power and the source of all hearts. This group includes Riku; Maleficent promises that she will help him find Kairi in exchange for his support. Maleficent sows distrust in Riku, telling him that Sora abandoned him and Kairi for new friends and the Keyblade. An increasingly antagonistic Riku finds Kairi's body, but cannot find her heart.

 
Sora and his friends eventually arrive at Hollow Bastion, the Ansem's home world and Maleficent's current headquarters. Riku takes the Keyblade from Sora, claiming to be the true Keyblade master and that Sora only received it in his absence. Donald and Goofy, having been explicitly ordered to follow the "key", reluctantly leave Sora for Riku. Sora challenges Riku, stating that his heart derives strength from his friends; his friends return to him, as does the Keyblade. Shamed, Riku meets a cloaked man who goads him to give into the darkness. Meanwhile, the three engage and kill Maleficent, but then meet a strangely behaved Riku with a Keyblade that unlocks hearts. Sora finds Kairi's body and confronts Riku, who reveals that he is possessed by Ansem. Ansem explains that Kairi is a Princess of Heart, and that her heart has been hiding within Sora's body since Destiny Islands was destroyed. After defeating Ansem, Sora impales himself with Ansem's Keyblade, releasing both his and Kairi's heart. Kairi's heart returns to her body, in turn completing the final Keyhole, while Sora becomes a Heartless. Kairi recognizes Sora's Heartless and the light in her heart restores him to human form. He resolves to confront Ansem.

 
Ansem is found in the End of the World, the combined remnants of worlds taken by the Heartless. Ansem explains his belief that "darkness is the heart's true essence", and he seeks Kingdom Hearts, hypothesizing it to be the ultimate darkness. However, upon opening the door to Kingdom Hearts, it reveals its light, overwhelming and destroying Ansem. Beyond the door are King Mickey and Riku, and they help Sora and the others close the door, as there are many Heartless beyond it. Mickey and Sora use their Keyblades to lock the door. The worlds lost to the Heartless reconstruct themselves; as the Destiny Islands reform, Kairi returns there while Sora is forced to part with her. The game concludes as Sora, Donald, and Goofy resolve to find Riku and Mickey     
 
Kingdom Hearts Chain Of Memories 
 

Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories takes place directly after the ending of the first game, Kingdom Hearts. Sora and his friends Donald, Goofy, and Jiminy Cricket are walking down a winding path when a mysterious man dressed in a black, hooded coat appears. He directs Sora towards a massive fortress called Castle Oblivion and then disappears. When the travelers enter, they find the mysterious figure again. When Sora and his companions attempt to engage the figure, they find that their abilities seem to have no effect. The figure explains that they forgot all of their abilities when they entered the castle. He continues by creating a deck of cards made from Sora's and his friends' memories, and tells them that everything they encounter in this castle will be based on their memories. The higher they go, the more memories they will lose in the process.

 
Sora is unaware that he is being watched by a mysterious group called the Organization. Marluxia, the lord of Castle Oblivion and the figure who lured Sora there, plans to control Sora with the memory-altering powers of a girl named Naminé and use her to overthrow the rest of the Organization. The Organization members Zexion and Lexaeus catch wind of this plot and observe it while the member of their circle, Vexen, decides to use a replica of Riku against Sora when Lexaeus sends him up to sabotage Marluxia's plan, agreeing to have the replica's memory reworked with Naminé's powers.

As Sora ascends the castle, he battles Larxene, a co-conspirator in Marluxia's plot. Afterwards, he appears to remember Naminé as an old friend of his. He learns that she is being held in the castle, and continues to ascend, clashing with the Riku replica who now believes himself to be the real Riku. After witnessing the death of Vexen and killing Larxene, Sora learns about his shifting memories and Marluxia's plans from Naminé; Axel, another Organization member who serves as a double agent, had allowed Naminé to meet Sora to foil Marluxia's plans.  
 
Sora forms an alliance with the Riku Replica—who discovers that his memory was also altered by Naminé—and they fight to the top of the castle and defeat Marluxia. Naminé then puts Sora and his friends into pod-like machines to help them regain the memories they lost in the castle, even though they would forget the events that transpired in the castle. Before they are put to sleep, Sora and Naminé promise to meet again as real friends once he wakes up, Sora firmly believing that his memories of her and the castle will remain in his heart despite being forgotten.

In the second story mode, Riku has been transported from the realm of darkness and fights his inner darkness as he battles upward from the basement levels of Castle Oblivion. Vexen fights Riku to obtain his data and creates the replica of him that lacks the original's fear of darkness, believing himself to be stronger. Ansem, who took over Riku's body in the previous game, attempts to regain control of Riku below, but is continually thwarted by King Mickey's support.  
 
On the way, Riku battles and defeats Lexaeus, only to be dragged into the realm of darkness. However, he is saved by King Mickey when Ansem nearly succeeds in taking Riku's body as his own. Seeing Riku of no use to them as Marluxia has been eliminated, Zexion attempts to dispose of him by tricking him in the Destiny Islands disguised as Sora. However, when Zexion drowns Riku in light, he is saved by Naminé disguised as Kairi. With the darkness in his control, Riku defeats Zexion. Arriving in Twilight Town, Riku meets DiZ, an enigmatic man interested in Riku who sends him to find Naminé. The Riku Replica, who now seeks to justify his existence, fights Riku in front of the mansion in Twilight Town, only to be destroyed by him.  
 
Riku learns from Naminé that what remains of Ansem lives in his heart. Riku chooses to face him and DiZ pulls Ansem from Riku's heart to battle. After defeating Ansem, Riku vows to utilize both his darkness and his light to protect what's important to him. He sets out with King Mickey as his companion     
 
Kingdom Hearts II 
 

Kingdom Hearts II begins one year after the events of Kingdom Hearts. Sora, Donald, and Goofy have been asleep in suspended animation for the past year to regain their lost memories. Meanwhile, Roxas, the Nobody of Sora, is trapped in a virtual simulation of Twilight Town created by DiZ so that he may merge with his original self to restore Sora's power, done as part of DiZ's revenge on Organization XIII. DiZ's plans are threatened when Organization XIII's Nobodies, led by Axel, Roxas's former friend in the Organization, infiltrate the virtual town, but Roxas finally merges with Sora. Sora, Donald, and Goofy wake up in the real Twilight Town and meet King Mickey and Yen Sid, who send them on another journey. Their goal is to find Riku and stop the plans of Organization XIII, who control the Nobodies—the body left over when a person with a strong heart is turned into a Heartless. Afterward, Maleficent is resurrected and joins with Pete to continue her quest for power.

 
Sora travels to many Disney-themed worlds, old and new, and resolves the troubles caused by Organization XIII, the Heartless, Maleficent and Pete, and local villains. Meanwhile, Kairi is kidnapped by Axel. During a visit to Hollow Bastion, they again meet King Mickey, who reveals the true nature of Ansem, the antagonist of Kingdom Hearts. The Ansem whom Sora defeated was actually the Heartless of Xehanort, a student of Ansem the Wise, and that the leader of the Organization is Xehanort's Nobody, Xemnas. Organization XIII's plan is revealed: they seek the power of "Kingdom Hearts", which is the sum of all the hearts that Sora released by destroying the Heartless with his Keyblade. Sora then revisits the worlds to solve lingering problems and new complications, while seeking a path to Organization XIII's base of operations. Throughout his endeavors, Sora is secretly aided by a mysterious hooded figure whom Sora believes to be Riku.

 
Sora, Donald, and Goofy enter a passageway through Twilight Town and encounter Axel, who sacrifices himself to create a passageway to the World That Never Was, the headquarters of Organization XIII, with Kingdom Hearts looming overhead as a heart-shaped moon. Sora finds Kairi and Riku, whose appearance has been changed by the darkness to that of Xehanort's Heartless; he also reveals to Sora the nature of his connection to Roxas. King Mickey meets DiZ, who reveals himself to be Ansem the Wise. Ansem uses a device that dissipates some of Kingdom Hearts' power, but after a system overload causes the device to begin to self-destruct, he realizes just how little is known about the heart. After chastising Xemnas and giving his last words to the Keyblade wielders, the device explodes, both engulfing Ansem and miraculously returning Riku to his original form. At the top of the Castle that Never Was, Sora and his friends battle Xemnas, who uses the remaining power of Kingdom Hearts to power his multiple forms. After Sora and Riku finish Xemnas, the two are reunited with their friends at their home, Destiny Islands. The game concludes as Sora, Kairi, and Riku read a letter from Mickey, its contents hidden from the player. 
 
 
Birth By Sleep ties everything together and ends amazingly 
 
Play the games before bitching, they aren't hard to understand

I love Disney and I'm a fan of most of the Final Fantasy games..  But Kingdom Hearts is basically a tween drama.  The story is melodramatic to the highest degree, the characters are cliché, annoying and the dialogue has to be some of the worst in the history of gaming.  Honestly felt like vomiting about 5 minutes into the game when they kept going on about that "friendship fruit" (bare in mind I love Disney and could watch Bambi on an endless loop!). 
 
Also, the appearances of Final Fantasy characters are pure fanwank.  Most of them show up for no purpose other than to make the fan girls giddy and the only pre-VII character who appears was butchered by Nomura.

 
I only remember playing KH2 a while back and thinking James Woods was great as hades again. Thats literally all I remember, interpret that how you want.

blaka

As a game I remember Kingdom Hearts being a passable but mashy brawler. However, I find the story enjoyable in an ironic manner, perhaps because it represents to me all of the excesses of Square combined with what Japan likes about Disney (i.e. Nightmare Before Chirstmas being stupid popular there even though it's a 70 minute movie that nobody in the US really remembers). Melodrama out the ass mixed with the happy go lucky outlook of most Disney movies and a heavy helping of fanservice all make for a bemusing, if somewhat bizarre experience. To make it even more bizarre, they haven't bothered to advance the plot at all in the past 5 years, instead filling in backstory that may or may not have been necessary, and as far as I can tell, is still totally bananas. I could care less about the specifics of anything that happens, because I consider all of it incomprehensible nonsense to begin with.

The story got insanely dumb really quickly in 2.  There's a guy named Ansem who you fought in the first game!  Except it isn't really Ansem, it's a student of his named Xehanort, and he took Ansem's name and became a heartless that for some reason still looked exactly the same as his normal body- except he also became a nobody!  So now you have to fight Xemnas, who is the second fake Ansem who is really Xehanort, with the help of the real Ansem who changed his name to Diz.  Also you have to get the help of Riku, who did something to get more powerful but in the process had his appearance changed to look like the fake Ansem, who is really Xehanort.  So just in Kingdom Hearts 2 you need to sort out 4 people all named Ansem.

And then Birth by Sleep decides to make it so that Xehanort is really some old dude, and the body that he was using in all the other games was actually a guy named Terra, who he possessed but then apparently lost his memories after battling Terra whose mind or heart or something was now inhabiting a suit of armor Soul Calibur 3 style.  So you've got Xehanort, who is the villain until he gets his name changed to something else too, possessing Terra, impersonating and taking the name of Ansem, split into two different bodies that both look like Terra  but refer to themselves as Ansem, who are then destroyed and apparently recombine into multiple Xehanorts.

So yeah, fucking dumb.

It's mindless, button-mashing fun. I don't like any of the spin-off games because they try to deviate from that with gameplay gimmicks that are not enjoyable to utilize at all.
Also its pretty.

You aren't allowed to dislike Kingdom Hearts. Yes, I am serious, YOU MUST LOVE IT.

 
One day Riku desides to build a raft, to escape their island and descover other worlds. (explained in BBS why he has the urge) 
  
A mysterious figure coners Sora in a cave, and tells him there's other worlds "One who knows nothing, can understand nothing" "To the heart seeking freedom, this island is a prison, surronded by water."   quotes that play importance. He dissapears.   
 
Riku tells sora of the papu fruit, two people who share one will forever be entwined with their hearts. Sora becomes jealous of riku, and draws the papu fruit being transfered from the drawing of his face in the cave to kairi's
  
Sora, Riku, and kairi finish their raft. And go home for the night. Sora is awakened by a storm, and is worried about their raft, he goes to the island.  
  
Sora see's kari in the same cave which he saw the unknow figure, however she is acted strangly, as her heart as just been taken, (she more or less dies)  
Sora runs out to meet riku, who is consumed by darkness as he reaches his hand to sora, symblised in the games opening and throughout the series. Sora is unable to reach, and is pulled back. He recieves the keyblade as heartless attack and destroy his home island.  
 
Sora awakens in Traverse town, and befriends Donald and Goofy, who are looking for Mickey. He agrees to go with them, to find riku and kairi. (he does not know of her fate)  
 
They travel the galaxy, sealing worlds keyholes to prevent mass amounts of heartless from attacking. The eventually meet up with riku inside monstro (yes the whale from pinocchio) who steals pinocchio and reveals he is working for malaficent, who is looking for pure hearts to unlock the keyhole in hallow bastion and release the heartless to ravenge worlds. Riku agrees to help, to save kairi as Malaficent agrees to return he heart if riku assists her.  
 
They meet again in hallow bastion, and riku manages to steal the keyblade from sora in a moment when riku's heart is stronger (shown why in BBS) 
Donald and Goofy abondon sora as they must follow the key.  
 
Sora manages to get it back (long story short) and fights and enraged riku, to which riku losses. Riku is injured, and ansem manages to consume his heart with darkness. Sora and riku fight again but riku is now consumed by ansem, who wishes to unlock Kingdom Hearts, the ultimate darkness. Sora wins, and ansem retreats as he is still weak. Sora learns kairis hearts resides within him, so he stabs himself with the dark keyblade, released her heart, and his, and becomes a heartless, and creates a nobody (unknown in kingdom hearts 1, but vital to 2) 
 
Long story short kairi revives sora and they return to traverse town, but not before hallow bastions keyhole is unlocked and heartless sworm out.  
 
Sora, donald, and goofy travel to the end of the world, to stop ansem from unlocking kingdom hearts. They defeat ansem,  but kingdom hearts is unlocked, but is filled with light killing ansem.  
 
However it is still home to the heartless, and needs to be closed. Sora goofy and riku close the door, but riku and mickey must stay inside to lock it. (riku is saved by defeating ansem)  
 
Kairi and sora are seperated, and sora promises to return to her, in what is one of the greatest endings in gaming imo 
 
  

I played 1 and 2 and liked them for the Disney tie-in that wasn't horribly mangled, and the decent combat system.
 
I got BBS solely because of Aqua. She's pretty cute. But that game is hella unplayable on a portable IMO.

I love that it is a train wreck mishmash of Final Fantasy and Disney where you play as the biggest dork to ever grace a video game. I also love that the plot is several bad anime series blended together into a mess that is nearly  incomprehensible.   The games for me are the equivalent of playing a so bad it is good movie like The Room or Showgirls. It's like playing a train wreck and I love it.
 
Though what I do hate is that using magic is awkward and pointless.  The camera system is awful and the most effective enemy in the game.  My biggest dislike is the fanbase who think these games are quality titles and endlessly speculate about what Disney movie will appear in the sequel.