Dear Left 4 Dead, 
 
Thanks for putting out the Crash Course DLC for only 240 MS! That's awesome! However, could you please find me some people to play with on it which aren't a) retarded b) terrible c) betrayers d) quitters e) scaredy cats f) all of the above. And while you're at it, if you DO happen to put me in a team with these people, could you make sure that the opposition aren't a) really, really good b) c*ck suckers c) glitchers d) outnumbering us e) all of the above. Cheers! 
 
And in regard to your achievements, I just wanted to thank you for resetting my zombie kills and mounted machine gun kills to zero so that I now have wasted several days getting those pointless kills and am now assured to never get those achievements. And thanks also for making it so that I cannot get private Versus achievements with a second controller, thus making me play with aforementioned team mates and opponents. You really have showed me how much you care for me.
 
Keep up the good work my love! 
 
Regards, 
 
Spawn Man. 
 
 
Dear Left 4 Dead 2, 
 
Left 4 Dead 2. What can I say my friend? Where can I begin? Thank you so very very much for basing a game predominantly on multiplayer action, and yet every time I search for a game online, you refuse to let me join it. I can only assume it is because you care deeply for me and that you don't want my heart broken in an online game. I understand now why you keep me from enjoying online multiplayer, so thank you. Very much. 
 
In the same vein, thank you again for basing the majority of your achievements around multiplayer games. Without being able to access multiplayer and thus not unlock them, you have taught me to finish my other games more fully in order to get my gamerscore up. Thank you for teaching me so much! 
 
And like my other lover, Left 4 Dead, thank you for making sure I can only unlock the bare minimum of achievements on my own with a second controller. You obviously want to tease me because you actually are red hot my love. And I am for you. But I suppose it will never be for the three of us. A mere fling. I can only give my heart to games which give me all of them, not a bit. 
 
Forever yours, 
 
Love, 
 
Spawn Man. 
 
P.S. Qualified ride? What is up with that my love? I rode a full health survivor until he died, and yet it was only 9 seconds until that happened? How can I go a full 12 seconds for you my love if you make this impossible? Do you not love me too my love?

Dear Left 4 Dead, 
 
Thanks for putting out the Crash Course DLC for only 240 MS! That's awesome! However, could you please find me some people to play with on it which aren't a) retarded b) terrible c) betrayers d) quitters e) scaredy cats f) all of the above. And while you're at it, if you DO happen to put me in a team with these people, could you make sure that the opposition aren't a) really, really good b) c*ck suckers c) glitchers d) outnumbering us e) all of the above. Cheers! 
 
And in regard to your achievements, I just wanted to thank you for resetting my zombie kills and mounted machine gun kills to zero so that I now have wasted several days getting those pointless kills and am now assured to never get those achievements. And thanks also for making it so that I cannot get private Versus achievements with a second controller, thus making me play with aforementioned team mates and opponents. You really have showed me how much you care for me.
 
Keep up the good work my love! 
 
Regards, 
 
Spawn Man. 
 
 
Dear Left 4 Dead 2, 
 
Left 4 Dead 2. What can I say my friend? Where can I begin? Thank you so very very much for basing a game predominantly on multiplayer action, and yet every time I search for a game online, you refuse to let me join it. I can only assume it is because you care deeply for me and that you don't want my heart broken in an online game. I understand now why you keep me from enjoying online multiplayer, so thank you. Very much. 
 
In the same vein, thank you again for basing the majority of your achievements around multiplayer games. Without being able to access multiplayer and thus not unlock them, you have taught me to finish my other games more fully in order to get my gamerscore up. Thank you for teaching me so much! 
 
And like my other lover, Left 4 Dead, thank you for making sure I can only unlock the bare minimum of achievements on my own with a second controller. You obviously want to tease me because you actually are red hot my love. And I am for you. But I suppose it will never be for the three of us. A mere fling. I can only give my heart to games which give me all of them, not a bit. 
 
Forever yours, 
 
Love, 
 
Spawn Man. 
 
P.S. Qualified ride? What is up with that my love? I rode a full health survivor until he died, and yet it was only 9 seconds until that happened? How can I go a full 12 seconds for you my love if you make this impossible? Do you not love me too my love?

Dear SpawnMan, 
 
Pro tip, play it on PC. 
 
Halo Sucks, 
~KaosAngel 
 
EDIT:  Valve seriously makes you pay for DLC on the Xbox?!  O_o

I'm sorry you play it on the xbox.

I don't get why people think it's so bad on consoles.  Anyways, I'd play with you but I always rent L4D games and just play through the campaigns with my brother.  I have similar problems playing zombies in Blops, everyone is terrible.

Quick question, do I have to buy both DLC's for both games? If so, that's pretty lame.

If only we lived in a world where good things happened to us.