Mario Kart Wii

Mario Kart Wii : A not very realistic racing game where assorted Mario characters compete in races riddled with weapons, traps and too many weapons.

Story : In 2012, the Mushroom Kingdom economy collapses and life for everyone is not the same. Once a NASCAR champion, Mario, (Jason Statham), hits rock bottom and spent several years in prison. His life was improving and changing for the better after meeting and marrying Princess Toadstool (Janaya Stephens) and having a baby girl. Then the steel mill closes, and he loses his job. But that was not the worst thing to happen to Mario that day. Toadstool is brutally murdered, and he is framed for her murder. Mario is sent to Terminal Island, the worst and toughest for-profit prison in the country run by Warden Koopa (Joan Allen). She(?) has created the country's most popular pay-per-view sport, a kill-or-be-killed car race where the inmates race to win their freedom from prison after 5 wins. Every inmate driver is driving a monster car that they built which is loaded with machine guns, missiles, flamethrowers, napalm, and no rules. Warden Koopa convinces Mario to secretly take the place of the late 4-time superstar winner, Frankenstein, and wear his metallic mask in the race. If Mario wins just one race, he can go home to his baby daughter. To get to the finish line, Mario must kill his competition before they kill him.

(Synopsis of what would’ve been an entertaining story taken from IMDB)

Mario Kart Wii is the next logical evolution in the Mario Kart series. Or at least in somebody’s mind, it’s the next evolution of a lot of the ideas and concepts that the Mario Kart games have become most famous for. This individual came lead the Mario Kart Wii’s development team and began spouting his belief that MORE of everything is the way to go, not realizing that MORE of everything simply makes a broken foundation crumble under the weight of it all.

Perhaps this is why the Super Nintendo’s Super Mario Kart has yet to be released on the Wii Virtual Console. That game started the whole Mario Kart formula, with later renditions trying to turn up the volume of chaos that happens within races by adding more players, more items, more cars, more ways to get a speed boost, more obstacle-ridden tracks and so forth. But perhaps Mario Kart was more fun without all of the aforementioned noise, where only you and possibly one other player could use the overpowering items and AI challengers fought back using only basic items and driving skills, where you’d be lucky to collect more than one power-up per lap and drifting was only a strategic on turns and not the entire track.

You can either call the way Mario Kart games have changed over the years an evolution or a degeneration, in that with the onset of more players, more AI opponents whom have access to the same crippling items you have and more varieties of the lightning bolt. Mario Kart Wii feels like the pinnacle of this evolution and degeneration. Playing in the Grand Prix on 150cc against 11 other AI opponents is a real test of luck, as your success in each race will depend on you not getting pelted by blue shells, POW blocks, lightning, red shells, that blooper thing, and getting passed by enemies using the star or its two new variations, the bullet and giant mushroom.

This problem is lessened by the addition of online play. I’ll admit that at first I was thrilled by Mario Kart Wii’s online system, if just because it was fantastic in comparison to the embarrassment that is Super Smash Bros Brawl’s online system. You can play in either grand prix races or battle mode online with up to 12 players, and being that the odds are against a single online session amassing 12 players, you therefore get pelted with less blue shells and thus can actually have some more fun playing online with just 6 people. How many games can claim to be more fun online with less people involved? But quickly the faults of Nintendo’s online system show their faces, as the options to play with friends or strangers are once again kept separate. Maybe you reside in some freak part of America (Silicon Valley? Wherever it is Nintendo of America calls home?) and have an entire social network of Wii owners in your neighborhood, but I tend to think it’s an incredible coincidence that I know two other Wii owners, and I know most Wii owners aren’t that lucky.

So maybe you’ll be able to have some pretty solid 3 man races with your friends online, but what about the battle mode? The Mario Kart Wii battle mode has evolved into a 6 on 6 team deathmatch ordeal. I like the idea in theory, but once again the over-censored joke of a service that is the Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection laughs in the face of this idea. There are no smaller maps or option to play a free-for-all, so those 3 man games with your buddies aren’t going to be very thrilling. Your enjoyment of this mode will depend on how much you look forward to playing with 11 other people. It can be fun, perhaps the highlight of my Mario Kart Wii experience, but this feature, and all of the above online features, are all hampered by the complete lack of voice-chat support. No one is (hopefully) playing Mario Kart Wii for online ranking, so part of the multiplayer experience is laughing and screaming because your buddy was lame enough to actually hit a banana peel, and Nintendo has once again deprived that from us out of fear of little kids hearing any sort of profanity. (Never mind how freaking Pokemon on the DS has microphone support like that’s anymore of a mature audience-targeted game)

So, just like Smash Bros Brawl, you’re enjoyment of Mario Kart Wii will depend on how many of your friends you can get over for some multiplayer fun. I’d argue that in that sense, Mario Kart Wii makes a better party game than said Brawl since it’s more accessible. It’s easier to explain to someone “go to finish line before others” than it is to explain that pressing up and B at the same time yields a super attack that’ll keep you from falling off a cliff. Oh, about those Wii-specific controls…I actually enjoyed using the Wiimote to steer. I was never big on the idea of spending $150 on a video game steering wheel so I appreciate the option. In a change of pace from one Wii game too many, the option of using traditional, non-motion based controls is also prevalent. It’s not particularly accurate, the Wiimote steering, and you’ll probably go off-road more than you’d like, but unless you’re obsessed with time trial scores, odds are having perfect steering isn’t too relevant when you’ve got a red shell going up the ass every few turns.

Pros : I’ll admit, even though it’s ultimately an unnecessary piece of plastic, that I like using the included steering wheel shell. It feels comfortable, and I won’t hold it against you if you decide to buy more than one for your friends. Bring it to Wii parties so people won’t spend so much damn time on Wii Sports.

Cons : Of all the “retro courses” to include from Mario Kart 64, why Skyscraper? For $10, Mario Kart 64 on the Virtual Console is just as good of a multiplayer game anyways so you could save some money in that regard.

3 stars