Mario's job

Posted by HumanityPlague (251 posts) -

I was thinking about it, and as a plumber, Mario kind of sucks.  He doesn't do a LOT of plumbing in any of the Mario games at all, except by exploring the underbelly of pipes.  At least in Donkey Kong, when Mario was a carpenter, he used his hammer to bust barrels apart.  I've never seen Mario (as a plumber) fixing the Kingdom's water pressure, or unclogging a toilet with a snake.  Perhaps that's Bowser's big issue, he kidnaps Peach to get Mario's attention, but because Mario sucks as a plumber, Bowser's Keep/Castle can never get fixed and just has endlessly shitty plumbing.
 
All I'm saying is, Nintendo should make a new Mario game where Mario is a carpenter.  It'd be enjoyable just to install a door frame, or replace kitchen title, or carpenter things like that.
 
And I know Mario does use a hammer occasionally in his games, but honestly, if you're a plumber using a hammer the same size as you (Super Smash Bros.) then that's a sign of a terrible plumber.
 
And yes,  Ana Hurka-Robles (from Tested) said it best, Mario = Jesus Christ.

#1 Posted by HumanityPlague (251 posts) -

I was thinking about it, and as a plumber, Mario kind of sucks.  He doesn't do a LOT of plumbing in any of the Mario games at all, except by exploring the underbelly of pipes.  At least in Donkey Kong, when Mario was a carpenter, he used his hammer to bust barrels apart.  I've never seen Mario (as a plumber) fixing the Kingdom's water pressure, or unclogging a toilet with a snake.  Perhaps that's Bowser's big issue, he kidnaps Peach to get Mario's attention, but because Mario sucks as a plumber, Bowser's Keep/Castle can never get fixed and just has endlessly shitty plumbing.
 
All I'm saying is, Nintendo should make a new Mario game where Mario is a carpenter.  It'd be enjoyable just to install a door frame, or replace kitchen title, or carpenter things like that.
 
And I know Mario does use a hammer occasionally in his games, but honestly, if you're a plumber using a hammer the same size as you (Super Smash Bros.) then that's a sign of a terrible plumber.
 
And yes,  Ana Hurka-Robles (from Tested) said it best, Mario = Jesus Christ.

#2 Posted by Milpool (506 posts) -

That's not a bad idea, Mario getting a vocational change.  Or even a Mario Plumber game where he drives around in a van and unclogs sinks.

#3 Posted by Azteck (7449 posts) -

I wonder if Mario ever needs to go see a chiropractor. As a plumber, he'd have to crouch, and bend over and  lie in awkward positions (I'm only slightly talking about sex now). But since he doesn't do that I guess he has no reason to go.

#4 Posted by craigbo180 (1739 posts) -
@HumanityPlague said:
All I'm saying is, Nintendo should make a new Mario game where Mario is a carpenter.  It'd be enjoyable just to install a door frame, or replace kitchen title, or carpenter things like that.
Well as awesome as that sounds if he was a carpenter would the games be much different, he doesn't really do much plumbing...
 
Maybe you would have warp doors instead of warp pipes. Actually doesn't wario use doors to warp around in warioland? Maybe carpentry is an evil profession by contrast to plumbing and when they created wario they decided he should be the carpenter.
#5 Edited by Timing (619 posts) -

Dude, watch this. Two minutes in.
  

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