So I'm playing through the Mass Effect games, still on the first, for the first time playing as femshep, because Jennifer Hale voice, and talking to Kaiden about maybe a fourth through the game. I wanted to delve into the personal backstory of the character like you can do with almost every character in the game, the "ask a personal question" option that so often pops up, but because he's a romance option he starts to question why I'm asking about him so much.

It gives you three options with one being the equivalent of "Yes mr game designer I would like to continue down this romance option", a neutral option, and a rather harsh renegade shutdown. When this comes up do I have to choose the harsh rejection to avoid it coming up again or can I choice the neutral option. Do I have to romance a given character to keep learning about their backstory and character?

It's not that big a deal for Kaiden as I'd be rather fine not talking to either him or Ashely for the rest of the game but this has come up with Liara as well and I actually want to learn more about her character without dealing with this.

I might be missing something obvious so forgive my ignorance with this franchise...

I think that was mostly a problem in the first game, if I remember correctly. There will eventually be an option to shut down the romantic side of things (again, I think I remember this correctly), but until that point, some of the dialogue can seem a little too friendly and romantic. It's kinda dumb that you have to do it in that way, but I don't think there is much of a choice in the matter if you want to hear everything they have to say.

You're not locked into a romance until a very particular moment near the end. So long as you don't pick the flirty options and keep talking to them after major missions you'll get their stories. You're never forced into romancing anyone, but if you start flirting with both romance options the game will make you choose but all that does is lock in your potential romance. You don't have to commit to anyone, even when it seems like you're about to cement the relationship. So just play it neutral if you're unsure and don't want to be a total dick to your crew.

@wemibelec90: @donchipotle: Thanks! Neutral it is then!