Cutscene 4: The Faux Game
I really, really wanted to enjoy this game as much as possible. However, when it comes down to it this isn't really a game at all, but more like a interactive cutscene. I'm not sure if it was the cultural divide between Japan and America that made the dialogue so horrible, repetitive, and sometimes inappropriate- or if it was just Kojima's convoluted vision. Maybe it was poor translation? I doubt that was the only problem. The writing in this game is so terrible that if you posess any resemblence of intelligence you'll throw your hands up in the air at least once or just flat out guffaw like a stupid monkey during the cutscenes. I couldn't believe some of the ridiculous things the voice actors were forced to say in this game. I have no idea how any of them could have kept a straight face saying some of the things they did. That's not to mention how stupid some of the names are in the game either. Liquid Snake? Big Boss? Really? I mean I know those are code names but you'd have to be on crack to name your characters like that.
Even if you haven't played the previous Metal Gear games you will still be able to understand the plot for the most part, except for a few parts. It feels like Kojima tried to tie plot points, characters, and bosses together with clear colored silly string. Also, the game repeats some things in different ways so much you'll doubt whether you understood it in the first place. I'd recommend just skipping the cutscenes, even though that would basically mean you'll miss 3/4 of the "game". I made the mistake of actually watching the cutscenes and regret it.
Cutscene blunders aside, the game still offers up some entertaining stealh-action gameplay. When you arn't cringing at the terrible dialogue at least the game mostly reedeems itself in the actual gameplay part. It's fun stealthing around and occasionally subdueing enemies with tranq guns or knifes. Buying and customizing weapons from the only decent character in the game (Drebin) is pretty fun too. If you can look past it's faults and take the cutscenes with a grain of salt (or just skip them), you'll enjoy this game. Or if you're twelve years old you'll enjoy the silly lines the characters spout out without having to cover your ears. I love my PS3, but sadly I can't bring myself to love this game as much as the fanboys do. Rent it or get it used for cheap.
