How did Nintendo try to Moderate Miiverse Dongs?

#1 Edited by Turambar (7284 posts) -

Nintendo president Satoru Iwata and his team have spoken about penis detection in the highly moderated Miiverse. Wii U Miiverse social network director Yoshiomi Kurisu has revealed that it was a complex issue that inevitably needed solving. Here’s how they went about it.

Iwata: I agree. The unique feature of the Miiverse is being able to send drawings, not just text. But since the advent of the internet, there have always been those who have used it for unsavory purposes.

Kurisu: Right, auto-detection of bad words is very simple.

Iwata: Yes, text messages may be easy to moderate; however, drawings are much more difficult.

Yuzawa: (laughs) I think I know where this is going.

Kurisu: Let us get this out of the way then. (laughs) We anticipated that some users would draw…

Kato: Can we even say the word?

Iwata: Go ahead. (laughs)

Kurisu: Ahem, uh. Some users would take to drawing penises.

Everyone: (laughs)

Kurisu: Well, it’s true. It seems to be more of a phenomenon found in the west.

Motoyama: Yes, we never had such a problem with our Hatena services. But, when we brought Hatena Flipnote to the West, we were caught off-guard by the amount of penises drawn by people.

Kurisu: So the team and I had to come up with a way to create a system that auto-detects those types of pictures.

Kato: Kurisu-san suggested we study different types of penises in order to create figure out the relative shape and size people would draw. We spent a week doing that before we realized that we should have been looking at drawings of penises rather than real-life pictures. (laughs) We were very embarrassed about that.

Kurisu: My judgement on these types of situations is poor. (laughs)

Motoyama: After a week, we made very good progress on the system. Then we tested the system with Nintendo of America and told them to start drawing. It went horribly.

Kurisu: What we learned is that people enjoy drawing penises. Multiple ones. (laughs) The system was not prepared to handle that.

Iwata: I do not think your team anticipated how difficult this would get!

Kurisu: No. (laughs)

Yuzawa: I was disheartened myself. We spent a few more weeks trying to get a system working.

Motoyama: Nintendo of America really took the system to its limits.

Yuzawa: You know what surprised me. No one drew a single vagina.

Everyone: (laughs)

Iwata: So, in the end, it all worked out?

Kurisu: Yes, we can safely say that we have a very good system to detect penis drawings. Hopefully player’s Miiverse experiences will be a fun one!

*I apologize if this thread has already been made.

TL;DR: Westerners love drawing multiple penises, but hate drawing vaginas.

#2 Edited by Azteck (7416 posts) -

I'm pretty sure that was confirmed as fake a while back.

Edit: Maybe I'm wrong, thought I remembered seeing someone confirm it as fake.

#3 Posted by Turambar (7284 posts) -

@Azteck: Now I'm depressed.

#4 Posted by Warfare (1674 posts) -

Time to move on to tits.

#5 Posted by jakob187 (22370 posts) -

I can't draw dicks on the Miiverse?

Pretty sure that just guaranteed that I WON'T buy a Wii U. GG, Nintendo.

#6 Posted by pyromagnestir (4390 posts) -

But what if my Miiverse experience cannot be fun unless there are many drawings of penises? Huh, Nintendo? What then?

I can't imagine it being real though. The looking at penis pictures for a week thing is too good to be true.

#7 Posted by bushpusherr (981 posts) -

All the poor kids who want to grow up to be astronauts, devastated that all of their rocket ship pictures are being censored.

No wonder NASA is so underfunded and under-appreciated, Nintendo is destroying our children's dreams.

#8 Posted by Abendlaender (3009 posts) -

Iwata discussing drawn penis(es?). My day is saved.

#9 Posted by Scooper (7920 posts) -

Penises (laughs)

#10 Posted by NegativeCero (3098 posts) -

I guess I'm immature because I found that exchange to be hilarious.

#11 Posted by John1912 (2185 posts) -

I love the idea that they spent a week looking at pictures of penises before they realized they should be looking at drawings. Like where did they get these pictures? Whos job was that? Did they use any photos with serious cases of VD? How many people were forced to look at these penises for a week? Did they only use Asian penises? Will making large penises skirt the censors?

#12 Posted by beepmachine (631 posts) -

In the future this scientific advance will pave the way to new asteroid detection radars, which will eventually save the earth from complete annihilation on several occasions. The world government will deny the origins of the technology, claiming "I dunno, I think it came from aliens or something."

#13 Posted by familyphotoshoot (703 posts) -

They failed.

#14 Posted by Gerhabio (1992 posts) -

Please be real

#15 Edited by punkxblaze (3018 posts) -

Nintendo has cutting edge dong recognition technology.

#16 Posted by TrafalgarLaw (1715 posts) -

It's actually hard to actually draw a anatomically correct vagina, hence the influx of penisses.

There exists a handguide to various forms and shapes of penises, a encylopedia of sorts, made in norway I believe.

#17 Edited by ProfessorEss (7705 posts) -

@familyphotoshoot said:

They failed.

Those are clearly mushrooms.

Uhhh... upside-down, veiny, dangling mushrooms.

#18 Posted by Blastroid (289 posts) -

If you go to school for computer science they should make "penis detector" a required code project!

#19 Posted by believer258 (13032 posts) -

@Turambar said:

@Azteck: Now I'm depressed.

Even if it is fake, it's incredibly humorous.

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