Yo fool should I buy Minecraft? (An excercise in rapping)

#1 Posted by InfamousBIG (3200 posts) -

Yo G Dawg 
I heard about Minecraft 
People are sayin'  
it's way better than CrimeCraft. 
All I know about it 
Is that the graphics are shitty 
So tell me about it 
Get down to the nitty gritty. 
Strafe from the skeletons 
And somethin' about giant spiders 
I don't think there are any melons 
And there better not be biters. 
So tell me G 
So I can see 
Should I craft mines 
Even if it's not free?

#2 Posted by ShaunassNZ (2128 posts) -

Yes.

#3 Posted by W0lfbl1tzers (1787 posts) -

Just stick it in her pooper

#4 Posted by Jimbo (9767 posts) -
Whaaaaat!
#5 Posted by eezo (284 posts) -

yeaaaaaaaaaaahhh boooooooooooiiiiiiii

#6 Edited by Jack268 (3387 posts) -

I will never find a more appropriate situation to post this 
better take the chance 
when the mods see this 
they'll be dealing out bans 
 
 
Also, to answer your question: 
Minecraft is a game about air and dirt, 
and fucking redstone - how does that work?
#7 Posted by BraveToaster (12590 posts) -
@InfamousBIG:  
 
Let me lay it down proper 
Minecraft is a boredom stopper 
You build a gansta empire 
Make the hoes call you sire  
There's sand, dirt, and gold 
Or you can dig in the cold 
Build a house with a moat 
Or get jiggy on a muthafkin boat 
Yeah the graphics are bad 
But you'll be glad 
When you lay down your paper 
And buy Minecraft now, not later
#8 Posted by Liam_mk (290 posts) -

Yo dawg from what i've heard
Minecraft is more fun than shooting birds 
Minecraft is the the new thing in town
from what ive heard
all the boys in my dorm are downloading it now
you say the graphiscs are shitty?
boy you'll forget that in a jiffy
Cause these blocks are the new shit
way better than that that dragon age manson bullshit
 
.....Word

#9 Posted by BraveToaster (12590 posts) -
@Jack268 said:
"
I will never find a more appropriate situation to post this better take the chance when the mods see this they'll be dealing out bans   Also, to answer your question: Minecraft is a game about air and dirt, and fucking redstone - how does that work? "
That is never appropriate.
#10 Posted by W0lfbl1tzers (1787 posts) -
@Axxol said:
" @Jack268 said:
"
I will never find a more appropriate situation to post this better take the chance when the mods see this they'll be dealing out bans   Also, to answer your question: Minecraft is a game about air and dirt, and fucking redstone - how does that work? "
That is never appropriate. "
It's always appropriate. 
#11 Posted by BraveToaster (12590 posts) -
@W0lfbl1tzers said:
" @Axxol said:
" @Jack268 said:
"
I will never find a more appropriate situation to post this better take the chance when the mods see this they'll be dealing out bans   Also, to answer your question: Minecraft is a game about air and dirt, and fucking redstone - how does that work? "
That is never appropriate. "
It's always appropriate.  "
Let's sword fight over this dispute!
#12 Edited by InfamousBIG (3200 posts) -
@Axxol:  
Boats and hoes sounds great 
and gold sounds even better 
I'm like Biggie Smalls, you'll be hatin'
On my fuckin' Gucci sweater. 
So let me lay down my concerns for you acapella 
I would just buy it right now if I was some other fella 
Borderlands DLC is calling and it's a loud fucking shout 
And I like me some Borderlands, so please, hear me out 
And while Minecraft sounds nice,  
I've played through BL more than twice 
And call it nostalgia,  
But I just want to boost my morale 
By dementedly, sentimentally killin' robotic entities. 
 
So answer me this, 
and please answer me quick. 
Please once again assure me 
Minecraft doesn't suck dick.
#13 Posted by W0lfbl1tzers (1787 posts) -
@Axxol said:
" @W0lfbl1tzers said:
" @Axxol said:
" @Jack268 said:
"
I will never find a more appropriate situation to post this better take the chance when the mods see this they'll be dealing out bans   Also, to answer your question: Minecraft is a game about air and dirt, and fucking redstone - how does that work? "
That is never appropriate. "
It's always appropriate.  "
Let's sword fight over this dispute! "
You don't want any of my diamond sword.
#14 Posted by BraveToaster (12590 posts) -
@InfamousBIG:  
 Buy one now, buy the other shit later 
Their both fairly cheap so it ain't a wallet breaker 
I like to shoot haters but I also like to build 
If you're not safe in either, you could get yourself killed 
#15 Edited by Jack268 (3387 posts) -
@InfamousBIG:  
just because those claptraps be ridin you dick  
dont mean you should be buyin their shit 
cus minecrafts got more heart and brain  
than those claptraps got cumstains 
 
and yes, I am the master of rap lyrics.
#16 Posted by BraveToaster (12590 posts) -
@W0lfbl1tzers said:
" @Axxol said:
" @W0lfbl1tzers said:
" @Axxol said:
" @Jack268 said:
"
I will never find a more appropriate situation to post this better take the chance when the mods see this they'll be dealing out bans   Also, to answer your question: Minecraft is a game about air and dirt, and fucking redstone - how does that work? "
That is never appropriate. "
It's always appropriate.  "
Let's sword fight over this dispute! "
You don't want any of my diamond sword. "
Whatever, son. My diamonds got diamonds, that got diamonds.
#17 Posted by InfamousBIG (3200 posts) -
@Axxol:  
Truly a master of persuasion 
Even in the strangest situation 
Claptrap can get smacked high on smack  
In his ass crack, makin' him fall back 
To a later date, when I'll degrade and hate on his robot ass, so wait 
The party is startin' late, thanks for the help, mate  
So strike a heroic pose 
And mother fuck prose 
I'm buyin' this shit 
Disposition: Case Closed.
#18 Posted by BraveToaster (12590 posts) -

GB Community Ain't Nothin' To Fuck With

#19 Posted by jim_dandy (891 posts) -

Best. Thread. Ever.

#20 Edited by luce (4045 posts) -
@InfamousBIG said:

" @Axxol:  Truly a master of persuasion Even in the strangest situation Claptrap can get smacked high on smack  In his ass crack, makin' him fall back To a later date, when I'll degrade and hate on his robot ass, so wait The party is startin' late, thanks for the help, mate  So strike a heroic pose And mother fuck prose I'm buyin' this shit Disposition: Case Closed. "


mic dropped
#21 Posted by Pinworm45 (4088 posts) -
@jim_dandy said:
" Best. Thread. Ever. "
#22 Posted by Azteck (7450 posts) -

I love this thread. You are all gods among men.

#23 Posted by InfamousBIG (3200 posts) -
@Azteck: ...Does that mean I get worshippers?
#24 Posted by Jack268 (3387 posts) -

man, giantbomb got talent. there should be a freestyle thread in the off topic forum

#25 Edited by InfamousBIG (3200 posts) -
@Azteck:  
You see, worshippers would be rad, 
and that could never go bad
for me, cause, see, I'm the bee's knees and I get higher than a flea 
Does, when it jumps, and I hump my hoe, as I bump my flow 
I'll leave you with a lump below, cause I go 
so hard, and my people never be worshippin' false idols 
and be sure to cover your face cause I hit harder than Title 
Bite your fuckin' ear off, but never call me a biter 
I'm a god, I get women hotter than Ghost Rider 
So please, just get on your knees, and plea, cause these 
Motherfuckin' haters are sillier than John Cleese. 
So just follow me now,  
and if you're wonderin' how 
Left click the follow button under my portrait 
Bow down, how now?
#26 Posted by CaptainTightPants (2834 posts) -

This thread is the best thread 
The only bad thing about Minecraft is how dam addicting it is. Graphically I have to say there is just something about it that is very endearing when you look out in the horizon and when you are riding across the water in your boat.  Nighttime can be suspenseful though , once it turns dark you better be inside a house or underground.

#27 Posted by InfamousBIG (3200 posts) -

@Axxol 

 Rap and fap, or I'll tap your knuckles like a nun 
With Brass Knuckles, *chuckles*, man, wouldn't that be fun 
Or run and go sun on a nudist beach with a gun 
And shoot that fag Jack Thompson when you see him, for fun 
I'm more Verbal than Kint, and and more Space-Age than Kevin 
I do more damage than a fucking 1911.    


@CraigAA:  
You see the problem seems to me 
That you're a huge pussy 
So just flee from them damn polygons, and please 
Don't ever try to watch a David Lynch movie 
I'm pretty fuckin' sure you'll pee 
Your pants, and man, Lance Armstrong has more balls than that. 

   Second one is from this thread.
#28 Posted by Bollard (5202 posts) -
@InfamousBIG said:
" @Azteck: ...Does that mean I get worshippers? "
If he really is Aztec, then hell man, you get SACRIFICES.
#29 Posted by BraveToaster (12590 posts) -

Oh shit son, it's getting real in this thread. 
 
Where the fuck is Hams3r at?!?!

#30 Posted by InfamousBIG (3200 posts) -
@Axxol: Rap!  Rap!  Rap!
#31 Posted by InfamousBIG (3200 posts) -
@Chavtheworld said:
" @InfamousBIG said:
" @Azteck: ...Does that mean I get worshippers? "
If he really is Aztec, then hell man, you get SACRIFICES. "
Those are even better.  Who will be sacrificed first?!
#32 Posted by BraveToaster (12590 posts) -
@InfamousBIG said:
" @Axxol: Rap!  Rap!  Rap! "
I'm running out of lines, but I'll give it a try 
I fap when I rap, bust a nut in your eye
The name's Axxol I'm too weird to follow 
I fuck old ladies cuz they love to swallow 
My nut sack is fat like Jeffery Gerstmann 
And my chest is hairy but I ain't no Persian 
I love to troll the forums of Giant Bomb 
And I degrade more bitches than the nation of Islam 
My flow is fuckin' sick like Infamous B-I-G 
My name ain't Claude, but I love my Weeeeeeeeee
#33 Posted by Joeybagad0nutz (1438 posts) -
@jim_dandy said:
"Best. Thread. Ever. "
#34 Posted by InfamousBIG (3200 posts) -
@Axxol: 
You runnin' out of rhymes cause you weak, like Monday 
I'm gettin' drunk right now, have a hangover on Sunday 
It's week-end, so I'mma end your weakness 
If you don't like my rhymes then you can suck my penis 
My hair is short, but your lifespan is shorter 
I'm more fucked up than the Mines of Moria! 
My rap is even doper than the Tiger song 
Everything up my nose like Cheech and Chong 
I'm inebriated now, so my rhymes are less lucid 
But still, when people hear my songs,  
they say who said that rap ain't music.
#35 Edited by BraveToaster (12590 posts) -
@InfamousBIG:  
 
You call those lyrics? I call that shit prattle 
I didn't want to initiate a freestyle battle 
Keep talkin shit , I'll stick your face in my poo 
Put a round between your eyes like you're Noble Two 
I'm weak from runnin a marathon on your moms and your chick 
I made a video Two White Hoes, One Black Dick    
So watch what you say when you talk about me
 
Cuz I'll shorten your lifespan like APB
#36 Posted by Vinny_Says (5681 posts) -
@Axxol said:
" @InfamousBIG:  
 
You call those lyrics? I call that shit prattle 
I didn't want to initiate a freestyle battle 
Keep talkin shit , I'll stick your face in my poo 
Put a round between your eyes like you're Noble Two 
I'm weak from runnin a marathon on your moms and your chick 
I made a video Two White Hoes, One Black Dick    
So watch what you say when you talk about me
 Cuz I'll shorten you lifespan like APB "
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SNAP
#37 Posted by InfamousBIG (3200 posts) -
@Axxol:  
I'm still below the legal limit 
So no handicap for you 
Which is too bad,  
I'll leave you fuckin' black and blue 
You put spoilers in your rap, but there ain't nothin' to spoil 
So toil on, I'll foil any coy attempt to royally  
Whoop my ass, only thing can do that is a Whoopie cushion 
That shit sounds like your rap, so be fucking careful who you pushin' 
Mushin' haters like sled dogs, like the beginning of Cryostasis 
But face it, my rhymes are laced with riffs sicker than Purple Haze 
So prepare to be amazed, by this lyrical grace 
So copy and paste, fuckin' biter, prepare to face a fuckin' Ace.
#38 Posted by BraveToaster (12590 posts) -
@InfamousBIG:  
 
What a surprise, another rap about you drinkin' 
Lyrical grace? What the Hell are you thinkin'? 
Your raps are hella queer like Bruno 
My rhymes impregnate your girl like Juno  
 I'm a 3DS you're a failure like N-Gage  
You're a rap squire, I'm a lyrical battle mage 
I spit hot fire I made the fuckin mic melt 
You'll need 10 sets of dice to calculate the damage I dealt 
So give up this battle, I'll let you join my team 
I've seen better lyrics on a HitmanAgent47 meme
#39 Posted by Meteora (5787 posts) -

We totally need one of these threads in the off-topic discussion.

#40 Posted by InfamousBIG (3200 posts) -
@Axxol:  
  
Stop trying to save face, or boost your e-penis 
Lyrical Battle mage?  Over 9,000 is my L33Tness 
But I do agree with something you said, hey! 
You are like a 3DS: square and hella gay 
Reading that Juno line, my face contorted in terror 
I'm battling a faggot, that line makes you Michael Cera 
Join your team? You're higher than Cream, livin' in a dream 
If you seem to think that I'd touch you with a 10 foot beam 
You're rhymes sound like a queef, more see-through than a leaf  
So just leave, you don't want to continue this beef.
#41 Posted by TurboMan (7340 posts) -

I love this forum.

#42 Posted by zudthespud (3281 posts) -

Hey guys, I'm way too white to post a rap so I'll just tell you to buy minecraft.

#43 Posted by MrKlorox (11197 posts) -

Yep. Do it. It's not expensive and even if you're not the type of spend hours mining and stacking blocks, it's $14 USD. It's not like you dropped the full $60 on something you won't play.

#44 Posted by InfamousBIG (3200 posts) -
@W0lfbl1tzers said:
"

Just stick it in her pooper

"
Just stick it in her pooper, 
 This quote is fuckin' super 
I give you the thumbs up, like Special Agent Dale Cooper 
Quote so sick, we're gonna need a bigger boat, Hooper  
#45 Edited by BraveToaster (12590 posts) -
@InfamousBIG:  
 
I make bank like Micheal Cera, you struggle for minimum wage 
My power level's unreadable, somethin' you can't gauge 
3DS is rectangular, you brain dead cum stain  
Tell your mom to come over and ride my midnight meat train 
But imma keep this short, this forum post is dead 
Let's test our skills in your new Freestyle Thread.
#46 Posted by robownz7 (40 posts) -

My brains exploded from reading all of this.
 
(in a good way.)

#47 Posted by TheFreeMan (2712 posts) -

Fuckin' word.

#48 Posted by Azteck (7450 posts) -
@InfamousBIG said:
" @Azteck:  You see, worshippers would be rad, and that could never go badfor me, cause, see, I'm the bee's knees and I get higher than a flea Does, when it jumps, and I hump my hoe, as I bump my flow I'll leave you with a lump below, cause I go so hard, and my people never be worshippin' false idols and be sure to cover your face cause I hit harder than Title Bite your fuckin' ear off, but never call me a biter I'm a god, I get women hotter than Ghost Rider So please, just get on your knees, and plea, cause these Motherfuckin' haters are sillier than John Cleese. So just follow me now,  and if you're wonderin' how Left click the follow button under my portrait Bow down, how now? "
You got stalked, dawg. PEACE.
#49 Posted by BraveToaster (12590 posts) -
@zudthespud said:
" Hey guys, I'm way too white to post a rap so I'll just tell you to buy minecraft. "
Music is color blind, you ill informed twat 
Step up to the plate and show us what you got 
It isn't hard to stick with the rhythm and post a rhyme 
Sure it may be shitty, but trying isn't a crime 
#50 Posted by Bollard (5202 posts) -
@InfamousBIG said:
" @Chavtheworld said:
" @InfamousBIG said:
" @Azteck: ...Does that mean I get worshippers? "
If he really is Aztec, then hell man, you get SACRIFICES. "
Those are even better.  Who will be sacrificed first?! "
Vinny.

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