For anyone who has been participating in the onslaught of carnage that is Monday Night Combat since its release, there is a strong chance that you walk away from your console after many matches feeling like an abused spouse. You absolutely hate Monday Night Combat because it yells at you, treats you like shit, and fucks you over in ways that you didn't know you could be fucked over...but when it's good, MAN...it's fucking GOOD!
The biggest problem with the game is this: it's balanced with the idea of "six player coordinated and communicating teams" in mind. That is not how the game is played, and in turn, it breaks the fuck out of the game. You'll get three Supports on the opposite team that block off the same corners every time, preventing your escape because your teammates refuse to work AS A TEAM. It's astonishing to me when I play a game like Halo 3, where team objective matches have people ACTUALLY DOING THE OBJECTIVES...and yet something like Monday Night Combat is thoroughly incapable of getting a crowd of people that know how to play as a team. The imbalance of the game is actually because it's TOO balanced.
There is also the matter of the arenas, or particularly how the arenas seem to be each be geared to the same shit happening every time. Every time Steel Peel shows up, I veto that fucker. Why? You'll find each team has at least three people that roll Sniper so they can sit at their fucking base and snipe through a small area directly to your spawn point. I fucking LOATHE spawn camping, as it is seriously one of the single worst practices in gaming. A coordinated team would be able to squash that sniper easily with a pair of assassins. However, that's very rarely the case. There's also LazeRazor arena, which typically finds three Support guys rolling over to a base and setting up Firebases on each of the exits...then overhealing those turrets through a wall with their heal guns. Two people, say an Assault and Gunner with grenade launchers, could take a Firebase down pretty easily. Sadly, there's not many people that want to team up on a death-dealing turret. Instead, they'd rather jump pad up and try to kill the guy healing it rather than kill the turret, then the guy. Those same Support guys can then throw Air Strikes the entire time on the turrets, allowing their bots to run in and dominate the other team's Moneyball. The worst of it is that the map also allows for a team to look directly into the other teams spawn point, a section that is gated off. There is no way for the pinned team to make a comeback whatsoever. All of these maps have glaring weaknesses and vulnerabilities for both teams, and these weaknesses are incredibly easy to exploit, leading less to a "match" and more to "rage".
Uber has listed a number of known problems, whether they be glitches or exploits or bugs or whatever, on their forums. My question is this: was Monday Night Combat complete upon release and we're just now seeing the problems, or did they jump at the opportunity to be this unique multiplayer game on XBL that could also get the publicity that gets put behind Summer of Arcade games? Sure, there is a small team of doods working on the game, and I commend those fine folks for bringing a game like this to the consoles. Unfortunately, it has gone from feeling completely fucking awesome...to completely fucking rushed out the door to meet a release date and not thoroughly tested before it launched.
It's with this that I bid you ado, Monday Night Combat, until another day. Once Uber has put out a good handful of updates to turn you into a more solid game, we will meet again. May you all go forth and learn to build turrets...and play other classes...and maybe work as a team.