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Added by Ryan Davis on Nov. 13, 2008

Tell me that doesn't make you hungry for pizza. You can't!
Tell me that doesn't make you hungry for pizza. You can't!
As much delight as I take in that stock photo of Atari founder Nolan Bushnell sitting in a pool and smoking a pipe, I feel like I owe that man a modicum of respect. The first video-game experience I can recall with much clarity was on the Atari 2600, and I spent many a birthday/post-soccer-game celebration at Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza Time Theatre (“re” because it's fancy!) I've been vaguely intrigued by uWink, Bushnell's latest attempt to fuse dining and electronic entertainment, this time with more booze and, sadly, less giant animatronic rodents. Intrigued, but not enough to actually commit to the long journey required. While in the area, MTV Multiplayer's Patrick Klepeck made the commitment that I've thus far avoided, and he's not shy about calling his uWink experience “disastrous.”

The big hook for uWink is that all transactions, from ordering to paying your bill, are performed using some crazy touchscreen technology that's built into every table. This touchscreen also serves as a means for patrons to play social games while they wait for a, sadly, carbon-based waitperson to bring the food. Aside from all the flashy technology, on paper this kind of reminds me of the quick-service beef bowl and curry shops in Tokyo where you order by purchasing tickets from a vending machine, or, you know, an olde-timey automat. Except that those things actually work. The underlying problem, it would seem, is that the technology employed by uWink is kind of busted, offering games that are either crash-happy or just boring, and making simple stuff like ordering a drink harder than it'd be in a regular restaurant.

There's now a uWink open in Mountain View, California, which is significantly closer to the Giant Bomb offices than any of the previous Southern California locations, but between this anecdote and the wealth of tepid Yelp reviews, I might be better off playing games at home and ordering a pizza.

Filed under : Nolan Bushnell

16 Comments

HatKing
on Nov. 13, 2008
I'd go just to see it all and how difficult it really is to order a drink.

John1912
on Nov. 13, 2008
Well, Ryan, I hope you went to a Chuck E Cheese that hand the mechanical band playing.  God that was creepy.  That was the closest arcade in my area as a kid.   Used to bike up there (prob 5 miles).  Used to hammer nickles down into tokens in early middle school.  Guess that caught on, kid in high school told me he did it as well from hearing about it around that time.

momentarylogic
on Nov. 13, 2008
Yeah.. I used to work for Chuck E Cheese back in the day. It remains in my memory as the most disgusting food environment I have experienced.

Oh, and atari was awesome! I used to play these games (could you really call them that?) on it that me and my friends could never figure out how to actually "play". But nothing could beat that level of excitement as a kid.

wrecks
on Nov. 13, 2008
Checked the official site, watched the video. Looks uWeak, very uWeak.

Yit
on Nov. 14, 2008
Pizza Time Theatre. So awesome.

TwoOneFive
on Nov. 14, 2008
yeah i remember when these opened up. i knew it would be a disaster. you gotta predict things like bugs and most likely boring games. 
i thought it might be like in my local WaWa's where they have touchscreens for the food you order to be made, and despite them crashes once a while back, theyre awesome and fast and easy and everyone i know loves it. too bad it didn't work out for Bushnell. 

it seems like he is living on this never ending mid life crisis. he made something awesome and original and revolutionary waay  back and has yet to do anything close to that since and he just keeps failing. 

although his touchscreens you see in bars are very cool.

dantebk
on Nov. 14, 2008

Media_Master
on Nov. 14, 2008
eh?

Vigorousjammer
on Nov. 14, 2008
so, I went to the website and watched the video.
now, I've worked in a restaurant before, and we used touchscreens to input the order for a table...

but those touchscreens, while they are harder to use, seem like they would be a hell of a lot faster (once you get used to it) than having to input how many is in your party, and what all of their names are, and just everything else about this touchscreen that is confusing and ass-backwards... seriously, NAMES?! Who cares? Bring the food to the table, ask who go it, and that's it.

It'd only be cool if they had robotic waiters/waitresses... now that'd be something...
unfortunately, they don't.

SlowHands
on Nov. 14, 2008
This seems like an American thing.  Being European (and civilised *ahem*) I don't understand it.

Andrwmorph
on Nov. 14, 2008
Most of the reviews on that site were from people whining that they couldn't get the touch screen to work and that the servers didn't server them (which is pretty much the point).

Hamst3r
on Nov. 14, 2008
"I hope you went to a Chuck E Cheese that hand the mechanical band playing"

Oh man, have you seen the "Rock-afire Explosion" AKA "Showbiz Pizza Band" cover songs? SO FUCKING CREEPY. :P

Madonna - 4 Minutes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uc-Jg-pWQ78

 MGMT - Electric Feel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGWJbcTvL_M

The White Stripes - Conquest: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Ikgvtiw_KM

*cowers in the corner* O_________O

Milkman
on Nov. 14, 2008
I've never heard of this until now. It sounds pretty cool on paper but I guess if the touch screen is busted than what's the point really?

JackiJinx
on Nov. 14, 2008
I love Chuck E Cheese. I have to, I work for the rat. I can work every position with little problem, though cleaning all those games is rather tedious. I'd rather be playing them.

Brackynews
on Nov. 15, 2008
What blows my mind is that the Bushnells' (Nolan and his daughter Alissa) inspiration is that "tech bars" are the best method to get women involved in playing more "casual" video games.  Are we now mentioning Nolan in the same breath as PopCap and Wii Sports and the Nintendo DS?  Didn't think so.

Is uWink supposed to be a 21st century Happy Days?  Forgive me if I'm old fashioned, but what the hell's wrong with just going to a bowling alley?  Which by the way is probably where most teenagers on dates first played Pong together.  Do any of the women reading this actually like to go out for a blue cheese salad, a glass of wine, and some Bejewelled?  These days wouldn't you simply have it handy on your iPhone?

The man earned his legacy, but he has ceased to be a pioneer.

ddensel
on Nov. 16, 2008
Sounds like a cool idea with bad execution, the electronic equipment needs to be idiot-proof, and the lag-time that the MTV guy experienced is unacceptable. An establishment completely run automatically is unnecessary, it just needs to give off the ILLUSION that it is. Hire more people to run things more smoothly, and keep 'em out of sight.

However my real problem with the restaurant is it's style. It looks like a damn sushi place or something. It's all about the experience in places like this, In the USA, there are some restaurants that have a spy theme, and others where the waiters and waitresses are mean to customers and make jokes all of the time. The thing is to put on a show, and uWink doesn't.

The place needs to be a Retro-Futuristic Diner. The place needs Jukeboxes, old 50's B-Movies on the TVs, checkered floors and chrome, CHROME, CHROME!!! And rockets on everything! Robotic waitresses moving around on roller skates, an android Soda Jerk serving up refills and a big, greasy robot frycook in the back shouting out wisecracks. There could even be robotic patrons who banter on with the waitresses. It's about atmosphere, oh yeah and the food...


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