There is no longer any reason to continue buying Rock Band 3 DLC. It's done. Music games are, from this day forth, no longer capable of improving themselves, and thus finished. Harmonix might as well pack up its collection of upcoming master tracks and charting tools and plunge them into a tire fire, because the greatest song ever written has finally made its Rock Band debut.
I am, of course, speaking of master songwriting duo Buckner and Garcia's monumental musical achievement, "Pac-Man Fever." Released by Rock Band Network production company Ozone Entertainment, the transcendentally gorgeous song comes alongside three of the group's lesser works, including the beautiful lamentation to the plight of the amphibian, "Froggy's Lament," the Asimovian sci-fi epic "Hyperspace," and "Mousetrap," which is presumably about some manner of mousetrap.
Each track costs 160 Microsoft points, or $2. Though RBN songs begin as exclusives on the Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 players typically get the most popular tracks in following weeks. Considering this song seems poised to break every download record Microsoft has ever tracked, it should be on the PS3 in no time.
Many have dismissed "Pac-Man Fever" as a mere novelty song derived from Ted Nugent's "Cat Scratch Fever" in a cynical ploy to capitalize on the booming arcade movement of the early 1980s. What those tone-deaf dilettantes fail to realize is that "Pac-Man Fever" is the greatest song ever written. What's that? Want proof? Such is the demand of an uneducated philistine. That's like asking for proof of the Mona Lisa's status as one of the world's greatest works of art, or Ghostbusters' reign as the greatest movie ever made. It is not to be challenged. It is simply understood.
For anyone interested in acquiring some "Pac-Man Fever"-related wares, be sure to keep an eye out on our various Twitter accounts and the Giant Bomb site. We might have a few goodies to give away in the relatively near future.
Oh, also released this week to the Rock Band 3 music store was some other crap that isn't "Pac-Man Fever." I think there were some Puddle of Mudd songs. Whatever. Let's all listen to "Pac-Man Fever" together and just pretend other music doesn't exist.
== TEASER ==