Text Adventure Teaches The Art of Toiletry

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Posted by Jeff (3425 posts) -
I sort of accidentally stopped all progress at the office today by sending around a link to this hot Flash-based text adventure, Don't Shit Your Pants.

It's billed a "survival horror" game, and yeah, I'd say that fits. Shitting your pants is pretty horrible. And before you ask? Yeah. I have. But now that I've lived out this scenario in the safe haven of text adventure virtual reality, I think I finally understand how this is supposed to work. You need to remove your pants first. This is key. We managed to figure out how to get all of the different achievements in the game in around 10 minutes.

Also, check out this amazing walkthrough if you get stuck, or if you're just a bad person who won't play goofy Flash games. Be sure to note that even though it's a short video, the creator still felt the need to layer some stupid-ass song under it. THANKS DUDE, THE SIMPLE AUDIO OF THE GAME ITSELF WASN'T ROCKIN' ENOUGH! SHAKA!!!!!!

  

Staff
#1 Posted by Jeff (3425 posts) -
I sort of accidentally stopped all progress at the office today by sending around a link to this hot Flash-based text adventure, Don't Shit Your Pants.

It's billed a "survival horror" game, and yeah, I'd say that fits. Shitting your pants is pretty horrible. And before you ask? Yeah. I have. But now that I've lived out this scenario in the safe haven of text adventure virtual reality, I think I finally understand how this is supposed to work. You need to remove your pants first. This is key. We managed to figure out how to get all of the different achievements in the game in around 10 minutes.

Also, check out this amazing walkthrough if you get stuck, or if you're just a bad person who won't play goofy Flash games. Be sure to note that even though it's a short video, the creator still felt the need to layer some stupid-ass song under it. THANKS DUDE, THE SIMPLE AUDIO OF THE GAME ITSELF WASN'T ROCKIN' ENOUGH! SHAKA!!!!!!

  

Staff
#2 Posted by alConn (153 posts) -

Thank God!  This process has been confounding me for ages.

#3 Posted by Aberrant (27 posts) -

I love text adventures, and I love not shitting my pants! Woohoo!

#4 Posted by killawogg (222 posts) -

lol game of the year

#5 Posted by punkxblaze (2961 posts) -

At long last, the mystery of the toilet is unraveled.

This changes everything. GOTY 09.

#6 Posted by LiveOrDie1212 (926 posts) -

wtf

#7 Posted by MattyFTM (14354 posts) -

Text adventures and shitting - the two greatest things in the world combined.

Moderator
#8 Posted by Anviltongue (64 posts) -

My God, I had to pause the video half way through and dry my eyes.  It took everything I had to keep from LOLing.  I might play this when I get home.

#9 Posted by Crono (2644 posts) -

This game's the shit!

#10 Posted by cyrax (205 posts) -

How to win at jokes by Jeff. Awesomely creative game.

#11 Posted by McPlated (132 posts) -

Shit...shit never changes...

#12 Posted by Captain_Fookup (1519 posts) -

Bwahah looks great.

#13 Posted by Standing_Gopher (129 posts) -

Fucking rad.

#14 Posted by ZeroCast (1869 posts) -

Shitting your pants is just the beginning!

#15 Posted by SoothsayerGB (1468 posts) -

I gotta go now.

#16 Posted by HazBazz (1901 posts) -

how you guys figured out the 'Holding off the inevitable' achievement on your own astounds me

#17 Posted by cjmhockey (244 posts) -

Haha... fun game, forgot to take off my pants the first time =P

#18 Posted by Media_Master (3283 posts) -

thats dumb

#19 Posted by Scratch (628 posts) -

OK?!? That was weird.

#20 Posted by Absurd (2934 posts) -

Dude, I've never known about that site, Thanks for the link (and the great game)

#21 Posted by PeasForFees (2411 posts) -

Great work Jeff :)

#22 Posted by Mandaray (158 posts) -

Disturbingly funny.

#23 Posted by theMcNasty (741 posts) -

     This game simply flushes away the competition.

#24 Posted by ValkyrieGoddess (1922 posts) -

This was hilarious. I wounder if they guy in the game went to McDonalds by chance??? There food can do that to you.

#25 Posted by zoozilla (978 posts) -

I can safely say that this is the shittiest game I've ever played.

#26 Posted by Darkstorn (463 posts) -

Haha I lol'd.

#27 Posted by VibratingDonkey (868 posts) -
XD
#28 Posted by babz (309 posts) -

Man you learn life lesson on giant bomb ever day! i don't know about shitting my pants, but i almost pissed my pants with laughter after reading this jeff.

lets bullet point what we learned

  • Shitting your pants is pretty horrible
  • And before you ask? Yeah. I have
  • I think I finally understand how this is supposed to work.
  • You need to remove your pants first. This is key

(im crying rite now) awwwwwwwwwwwesome lol

so what we learning next..................

#29 Posted by LiquidPrince (15857 posts) -

I couldn't figure out 5, 6, or 7.

#30 Posted by ToxicFruit (1717 posts) -

okey. that was different

#31 Posted by SolemnOaf (535 posts) -

Great, now I have to look forward to the sequel.  Gaining The Gift of Wiping.  Nobody better steal the source code.

#32 Posted by Artemis_D (817 posts) -

Is that Carl from ATHF?

#33 Posted by Bucketdeth (8004 posts) -

Best name for a game, ever.

#34 Posted by lamegame621 (975 posts) -

haha jeff poops his pants...k i'm done now


#35 Posted by BinaryDragon (638 posts) -

Now that's a game.

#36 Posted by Tass (1 posts) -

Sorry you didn't like the audio...  normally my vids have quality audio.  Let me explain: I was on vacation in Vegas; it was 2:30am; girlfriend was asleep; couldn't record audio in-game and couldn't preview audio from youtube's audioswap library.  I took a stab at something that sounded like it had a decent name and hoped for the best.  I definitely failed.  And I take full responsibility for the crappy audio track.

Thanks for embedding my vid, hope you take a look at some of my other work...  you'll like those better, I'm sure (except, of course, for the vids that had copyrighted audio and I was forced to swap them out...  in which case, blame Warner or Universal).

-Tass

#37 Posted by SinGulaR (2263 posts) -

That explaines a certain Twitter post I read yesterday.

#38 Posted by Dragonbyte (9 posts) -

sweet litte text base game, good work

#39 Posted by shelcobsohn (37 posts) -

This game redefines the survival horror genre.

#40 Posted by natetodamax (19177 posts) -

lolwut?

#41 Posted by Pibo47 (3166 posts) -

Amazing!

#42 Posted by Kohe321 (3523 posts) -

Haha

#43 Posted by Jayge_ (10222 posts) -

I am the Shit King.

#44 Posted by Scotty993 (2 posts) -

This walkthrough came to late for me....

I SHIT MY PANTS!

#45 Posted by MrKlorox (11209 posts) -

Hi! Text adventure is supposed to be all text. Like Zork. This is a text-input graphical adventure.

#46 Posted by AlucardaLaCarte (108 posts) -

Gak! The only one I was missing was #8 and then I watched the movie!
I'm pretty confident I would've never figured it out though.

#47 Posted by Nettacki (1317 posts) -

@ Tass:

Well, at least you apologized. That's something you don't see every day.

#48 Posted by SoothsayerGB (1468 posts) -

Couldn't spare a square?

#49 Posted by Johnny5 (1354 posts) -

such an awesome game. Achievements were probably the best part.

#50 Posted by Destroyeron (352 posts) -

Nice background music lol.

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