So Pikmin 3 is out in North America this week. Another opportunity for us to find little plant dudes and get their help in collecting random stuff and fighting off giant monster things before blasting back off into space. And those graphics! The Pikmin sure are a cute, whimsical bunch, are they?
The series even has its own theme song of sorts with lyrics and everything called Ai no Uta. Also known as Song of Love for the English-speaking crowd. And it sure sounds adorable. And then you actually understand what the lyrics mean and OH GOD.
What horribly depressing lives these little guys lead. They follow your sorry ass around without question only to get horribly murdered because they're led by a callous, uncaring asshole. They work for the boss from hell; working until death claims them, and they put up with it because they are utterly devoted to a horrible, abusive boss.
That would be you. Finding whimsical enjoyment in slave-driving Pikmin to their deaths for the sake of Duracell batteries? You motherfucking piece of shit.
But no, really. Enjoy Pikmin 3! Go ahead! You monster.