Get your jerkface on again with Pikmin 3.

Posted by Hailinel (22668 posts) -

So Pikmin 3 is out in North America this week. Another opportunity for us to find little plant dudes and get their help in collecting random stuff and fighting off giant monster things before blasting back off into space. And those graphics! The Pikmin sure are a cute, whimsical bunch, are they?

Just look at the whimsy in his eyes.

The series even has its own theme song of sorts with lyrics and everything called Ai no Uta. Also known as Song of Love for the English-speaking crowd. And it sure sounds adorable. And then you actually understand what the lyrics mean and OH GOD.

What horribly depressing lives these little guys lead. They follow your sorry ass around without question only to get horribly murdered because they're led by a callous, uncaring asshole. They work for the boss from hell; working until death claims them, and they put up with it because they are utterly devoted to a horrible, abusive boss.

Well, I could point the finger at Olimar, but the real culprit?

That would be you. Finding whimsical enjoyment in slave-driving Pikmin to their deaths for the sake of Duracell batteries? You motherfucking piece of shit.

But no, really. Enjoy Pikmin 3! Go ahead! You monster.

#1 Posted by JasonR86 (9363 posts) -

I first read this as 'jerk off face' and was coming in to see how Pikmin was going to do that. Imagine my disappointment.

#2 Posted by Hailinel (22668 posts) -

@jasonr86 said:

I first read this as 'jerk off face' and was coming in to see how Pikmin was going to do that. Imagine my disappointment.

Your Freudian slip is showing.

#3 Posted by JasonR86 (9363 posts) -


It comes out at the worst times.

#4 Posted by Colourful_Hippie (4281 posts) -
#5 Posted by GrantHeaslip (1346 posts) -

I think I'd heard that song before (was it in the English version of Super Smash Bros. Brawl?), but never realized how tragic and bittersweet it was. Parts of that read like they're all in unrequited love with him, and are expressing it by letting him lead them to death. If so, Pikmin's got an extra layer of narrative depth I'm only now awakening to.

I also just discovered that they made a French version for Super Smash Bros. Brawl. My French is still pretty rough so I'm not going to write out a translation, but it's safe to say it's more fanciful and less specifically horrifying than the original:

#6 Edited by LordAndrew (13972 posts) -

Thanks for ruining Pikmin.

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