I have a friend that uses his Vita as a substitute for sex

#1 Posted by TekZero (2665 posts) -

Basically, he's addicted to sex so he plays games on his Vita as a way to take his mind off of his urges. (He's in his mid 30's and has a live in girlfriend, just FYI. (I'm sure she's quite sore most of the time))

Anyway, I've been thinking about getting a vita for no apparent reason other than I want a handheld and I don't want a 3DS. My buddy tells me that he loves his (I wonder just how much) and that I should get one. I was looking at the games for it and the PSP compatible games and it seems like I would be satisfied with the games already out for the system.

I'm not going to use the VITA as a substitute for sex. I'm married, so I got used to not having sex anymore a while ago. But aside from that, is there any reason why I shouldn't get a VITA, if I'm comfortable with the amount of games already out?

#2 Edited by Ekami (252 posts) -

They should just have someone read that post and use it as a radio spot.

#3 Posted by A_Cute_Squirtle (680 posts) -

I was hoping this was an announcement for a Vita-Fleshlight attachment.

#4 Posted by Sackmanjones (4652 posts) -

What? Why would you even bring that up? What the fuck does that have to do with you buying a vita?

#5 Edited by JZ (2125 posts) -

Why did you think we needed to know that?

#6 Edited by Demoskinos (14589 posts) -

Hahaha I don't know what the fuck is going on here but I approve.

#7 Edited by FluxWaveZ (19308 posts) -

Uh...

What?

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#8 Edited by TekZero (2665 posts) -

@sackmanjones said:

What? Why would you even bring that up? What the fuck does that have to do with you buying a vita?

I didn't want to create another post just like the others threads asking for reasons to get a vita. I already know it could be a substitute for sex, I want other reasons.

#9 Edited by Morningstar (2145 posts) -

This sounds like a commercial :p

#10 Edited by OfficeGamer (1087 posts) -

@tekzero said:

Basically, he's addicted to sex so he plays games on his Vita as a way to take his mind off of his urges. (He's in his mid 30's and has a live in girlfriend, just FYI. (I'm sure she's quite sore most of the time))

@tekzero said:

I'm not going to use the VITA as a substitute for sex. I'm married, so I got used to not having sex anymore a while ago.

My heads hurts now.

#11 Edited by Jams (2959 posts) -

@tekzero said:

@sackmanjones said:

What? Why would you even bring that up? What the fuck does that have to do with you buying a vita?

I didn't want to create another post just like the others threads asking for reasons to get a vita. I already know it could be a substitute for sex, I want other reasons.

He's the next Kaosangel. It's the new, "I was eating at McDonalds when two fat kids were fighting over a twinkie" or whatever he used to start his threads with. Then go on to talk about something that has absolutely nothing to do with the first paragraph.

#12 Edited by Azteck (7449 posts) -

The two things you talk about have absolutely no relation. I'm confused why you'd even bring that up.

#13 Posted by TooWalrus (13139 posts) -

I'm not sure why...

Never mind.

#14 Posted by Beaker (94 posts) -

This is genius!

#15 Edited by OmegaPirate (5523 posts) -

Sony marketing needs to get on this fucking STAT and make it their new Ad campaign. Could single handedly save the vita

#16 Edited by cmblasko (1137 posts) -

SEX

VIDEO GAMES

#17 Posted by Ekami (252 posts) -

Hey guys my friend is a fuck machine with unquenchable thirst for flesh so should I buy a vita?

#18 Edited by I_Stay_Puft (3059 posts) -

This topic header reminds me of Metal Gear Solid 2. Fuck you Raiden!

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#19 Edited by Zirilius (585 posts) -

@ekami said:

Hey guys my friend is a fuck machine with unquenchable thirst for flesh so should I buy a vita?

Purple

#20 Posted by cannedstingray (387 posts) -

@azteck: Obviously to get idiots like us to view his thread. The part about about how sore that dude's GF must be came off as pretty creepy to me..

#21 Edited by Ekami (252 posts) -

@azteck: Obviously to get idiots like us to view his thread. The part about about how sore that dude's GF must be came off as pretty creepy to me..

Hey guys my friend has damaged someones vagina so what do you think of this rear touchpad stuff?

#22 Posted by mandude (2669 posts) -

The library of games is usually the only substantial criticism levelled at the Vita, so if that's not a problem for you, I'd go for it.

If you've got PS+, definitely go for it. It's fucking excellent.

#23 Edited by DaMisterChief (628 posts) -

I have learned something today.

#24 Edited by joshthebear (2700 posts) -

#25 Posted by oraknabo (1453 posts) -

Borrow your friend's vita and let him have sex with you to make up for it.

#26 Edited by Jimbo (9776 posts) -

"friend"

#27 Posted by ImmortalSaiyan (4676 posts) -

@azteck said:

The two things you talk about have absolutely no relation. I'm confused why you'd even bring that up.

#28 Posted by awesomeusername (4154 posts) -

@tekzero: Sure, get it. Just remember that memory cards are expensive. If you still get one, buy PS+ for the cloud storage and free games. Plus, there are some good indie titles coming to it like Hotline Miami & Thomas Was Alone. I'm sure there's more to come so the library is slowly picking up.

#29 Edited by Ekami (252 posts) -

Hey guys my bro is forever locked in a psychosexual prison of his own making so whats the deal with this jak and daxter I've heard so much about?

#30 Posted by Ducksworth (659 posts) -

That should be used as a tagline for the GOTY edition* of a Vita game.

*You know, assuming the Vita is alive long enough for that to happen.

#31 Posted by Cloudenvy (5891 posts) -

This is too stilted and not very coherent. Good luck next time!

#32 Edited by Video_Game_King (36101 posts) -
#33 Edited by Weird_Pete (23 posts) -

Sony marketing needs to get on this fucking STAT and make it their new Ad campaign. Could single handedly save the vita

His friend could also single handedly deal with his urges...

#34 Posted by TekZero (2665 posts) -

@ekami said:

Hey guys my friend is a fuck machine with unquenchable thirst for flesh so should I buy a vita?

Lol seriously.

#35 Edited by Oscar__Explosion (2204 posts) -

@ekami said:

Hey guys my friend is a fuck machine with unquenchable thirst for flesh so should I buy a vita?

This is my favorite post of all time.

#36 Edited by Ravenlight (8040 posts) -

Nymphomania is a legitimate condition. Your friend should talk to a doctor about a more long-term solution.

#37 Posted by Bollard (5301 posts) -

@omegapirate said:

Sony marketing needs to get on this fucking STAT and make it their new Ad campaign. Could single handedly save the vita

His friend could also single handedly deal with his urges...

Alright, you win this thread.

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#38 Edited by OmegaPirate (5523 posts) -

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