Basically, he's addicted to sex so he plays games on his Vita as a way to take his mind off of his urges. (He's in his mid 30's and has a live in girlfriend, just FYI. (I'm sure she's quite sore most of the time))

Anyway, I've been thinking about getting a vita for no apparent reason other than I want a handheld and I don't want a 3DS. My buddy tells me that he loves his (I wonder just how much) and that I should get one. I was looking at the games for it and the PSP compatible games and it seems like I would be satisfied with the games already out for the system.

I'm not going to use the VITA as a substitute for sex. I'm married, so I got used to not having sex anymore a while ago. But aside from that, is there any reason why I shouldn't get a VITA, if I'm comfortable with the amount of games already out?

They should just have someone read that post and use it as a radio spot.

I was hoping this was an announcement for a Vita-Fleshlight attachment.

What? Why would you even bring that up? What the fuck does that have to do with you buying a vita?

Why did you think we needed to know that?

Hahaha I don't know what the fuck is going on here but I approve.

Uh...

What?

I didn't want to create another post just like the others threads asking for reasons to get a vita. I already know it could be a substitute for sex, I want other reasons.

This sounds like a commercial :p

My heads hurts now.

He's the next Kaosangel. It's the new, "I was eating at McDonalds when two fat kids were fighting over a twinkie" or whatever he used to start his threads with. Then go on to talk about something that has absolutely nothing to do with the first paragraph.

The two things you talk about have absolutely no relation. I'm confused why you'd even bring that up.

I'm not sure why...

Never mind.

This is genius!

Sony marketing needs to get on this fucking STAT and make it their new Ad campaign. Could single handedly save the vita

SEX

VIDEO GAMES

Hey guys my friend is a fuck machine with unquenchable thirst for flesh so should I buy a vita?

This topic header reminds me of Metal Gear Solid 2. Fuck you Raiden!

Purple

@azteck: Obviously to get idiots like us to view his thread. The part about about how sore that dude's GF must be came off as pretty creepy to me..

Hey guys my friend has damaged someones vagina so what do you think of this rear touchpad stuff?

The library of games is usually the only substantial criticism levelled at the Vita, so if that's not a problem for you, I'd go for it.

If you've got PS+, definitely go for it. It's fucking excellent.

I have learned something today.

Borrow your friend's vita and let him have sex with you to make up for it.

"friend"

@tekzero: Sure, get it. Just remember that memory cards are expensive. If you still get one, buy PS+ for the cloud storage and free games. Plus, there are some good indie titles coming to it like Hotline Miami & Thomas Was Alone. I'm sure there's more to come so the library is slowly picking up.

Hey guys my bro is forever locked in a psychosexual prison of his own making so whats the deal with this jak and daxter I've heard so much about?

That should be used as a tagline for the GOTY edition* of a Vita game.

*You know, assuming the Vita is alive long enough for that to happen.

This is too stilted and not very coherent. Good luck next time!

I think you mean:

His friend could also single handedly deal with his urges...

Lol seriously.

This is my favorite post of all time.

Nymphomania is a legitimate condition. Your friend should talk to a doctor about a more long-term solution.

Alright, you win this thread.

@weird_pete: Outstanding!