1999 IGN review of the OG Pokémon games

#1 Edited by 1p (760 posts) -

Here it is, folks.

I came for the historical implications of reading a review of the first game in a series that's still as popular 13 years later. I stayed, however, for the quality writing:

In case you haven't noticed it, there's a little craze going on in the world with these guys known as Pokémon. It doesn't matter if you love 'em, hate 'em, or drop-kick 'em, you've at least heard of them ...

"drop-kick 'em"? What am i reading again?

Features

  • 151 Creatures to Capture
  • Mini-quests
  • Link cable support for two players
  • For Game Boy and Game Boy Color

Yes, this is part of the review text. A bullet point list of the game's features. You know, written by the publisher, like on the back of the box?

... the big wigs at Nintendo decided to bring these little guys to the US. And guess what? It caught on like a cold. And chances are, you've caught it as well.

Nicely done.

Also, the word "literally" is used in 3 of the 7 total paragraphs. That's literally 42,9 percent of paragraphs!

(I really shouldn't post this. I'm a terrible writer myself.)

#2 Edited by WalkerTR77 (1369 posts) -

IGN, writing a load of bollocks that would embarrass a 12 year old for over a decade. A few choice quotations: 

  • "this is one monster game! "
  •    "  See, when you encounter a wild Pokémon, you must do battle with it ¿ and the only way to do battle with a Pokémon is with another Pokémon."
  • "It literally becomes a game of Rock/Paper/Scissors as you try and discover which Pokémon works best against others. "  
#3 Posted by FancySoapsMan (5827 posts) -

Cool.

#4 Posted by Jazz (2269 posts) -

So not much has changed for either IGN or Pokemon then. 
Shocking.

#5 Posted by LordAndrew (14426 posts) -

Which character encoding am I supposed to use when reading the review? If I use UTF-8 I see upside-down question marks where I assume there are supposed to be em dashes or something.
 
Yeah, and that's not exactly great writing there.

#6 Posted by Sayishere (1840 posts) -

I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST........NOONE EVER WAS 

#7 Posted by cypher89 (55 posts) -

TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST... TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE

#8 Posted by 1p (760 posts) -
@Jazz said:
" So not much has changed for either IGN or Pokemon then. Shocking. "

Heh, right. Seriously though, i think that review is magnitudes more awful than the recent IGN output. They're not great now, but far less offensive most of the time.

@LordAndrew: Don't bother. The formatting was probably fucked by one of their site redesigns.

#9 Posted by Jothel (925 posts) -
@cypher89 said:
" TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST... TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE "
I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND... SEARCHING FAR AND WIIIIDE
#10 Posted by i69edUrGpa (586 posts) -

Awesome games but lol @ "drop kickin' em"....

#11 Edited by Underachiever007 (2468 posts) -
@Jothel said:

" @cypher89 said:

" TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST... TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE "

I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND... SEARCHING FAR AND WIIIIDE "
TEACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND THE POWER THAT'S INSIIIIDE
#12 Posted by Delicious_Brains (170 posts) -

Ouch, that is bad. But they still haven't improved a lot since.

#13 Posted by TaliciaDragonsong (8699 posts) -

#14 Posted by dbz1995 (4790 posts) -
@Underachiever007 said:
" @Jothel said:

" @cypher89 said:

" TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST... TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE "

I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND... SEARCHING FAR AND WIIIIDE "
TEACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND THE POWER THAT'S INSIIIIDE "
DIGIMON DIGITAL MONSTERS DIGIMON ARE THE CHAMPIONS
#15 Posted by Underachiever007 (2468 posts) -
@dbz1995 said:
" @Underachiever007 said:
" @Jothel said:

" @cypher89 said:

" TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST... TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE "

I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND... SEARCHING FAR AND WIIIIDE "
TEACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND THE POWER THAT'S INSIIIIDE "
POKEMON! "
GOTTA CATCH EM ALL
#16 Posted by Azteck (7449 posts) -
@Underachiever007 said:
" @dbz1995 said:
" @Underachiever007 said:
" @Jothel said:

" @cypher89 said:

" TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST... TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE "

I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND... SEARCHING FAR AND WIIIIDE "
TEACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND THE POWER THAT'S INSIIIIDE "
POKEMON! "
GOTTA CATCH EM ALL "
IT'S YOU AND ME
#17 Posted by ryanwho (12082 posts) -

Good to see you don't get riled up over any little thing you find.

#18 Posted by GetEveryone (4455 posts) -
@Underachiever007 said:
" @Jothel said:

" @cypher89 said:

" TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST... TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE "

I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND... SEARCHING FAR AND WIIIIDE "
TEACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND THE POWER THAT'S INSIIIIDE "
I've always hoped that the 'inside' line was literal, and they were referring to Pokeballs; it starts looking like a fucked up question of consciousness, metaethics and morality.
#19 Posted by Nux (2360 posts) -

Whats with all the upside down question marks?
#20 Posted by Bollard (5550 posts) -
@Underachiever007 said:
" @dbz1995 said:
" @Underachiever007 said:
" @Jothel said:

" @cypher89 said:

" TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST... TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE "

I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND... SEARCHING FAR AND WIIIIDE "
TEACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND THE POWER THAT'S INSIIIIDE "
POKEMON! "
GOTTA CATCH EM ALL "
Hahahahaha I love how sneaky that edit was.
#21 Posted by Simulacrum (462 posts) -
@Azteck said:
" @Underachiever007 said:
" @dbz1995 said:
" @Underachiever007 said:
" @Jothel said:

" @cypher89 said:

" TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST... TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE "

I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND... SEARCHING FAR AND WIIIIDE "
TEACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND THE POWER THAT'S INSIIIIDE "
POKEMON! "
GOTTA CATCH EM ALL "
IT'S YOU AND ME "
I KNOW IT'S MY DESTINY
#22 Posted by norton123 (311 posts) -

Yep, IGN. 

#23 Posted by 1p (760 posts) -
@Nux said:
" Whats with all the upside down question marks? "
¿por qué no?
#24 Edited by AckbarTheGreat (419 posts) -
@Simulacrum: @Simulacrum said:

" @Azteck said:

" @Underachiever007 said:
" @dbz1995 said:
" @Underachiever007 said:
" @Jothel said:

" @cypher89 said:

" TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST... TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE "

I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND... SEARCHING FAR AND WIIIIDE "
TEACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND THE POWER THAT'S INSIIIIDE "
POKEMON! "
GOTTA CATCH EM ALL "
IT'S YOU AND ME "
I KNOW IT'S MY DESTINY "
POKEMON! 
OOOH YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND
#25 Posted by kishan6 (1914 posts) -

I wish IGN reviews were still like that... it has more soul in the writing 
 
besides the features of the game list

#26 Posted by Slaker117 (4842 posts) -

Damn, I was hoping it was going to say something along the lines of "7.5- The game's fun enough, but the formula doesn't have any lasting appeal. It's just a quick fad, I don't see this going anywhere."

#27 Posted by MariachiMacabre (7096 posts) -
@AckbarTheGreat: IN A WORLD WE MUST DEFEND!!
#28 Posted by LordAndrew (14426 posts) -
@Nux said:
" Whats with all the upside down question marks? "
No one cared about proper character encoding in 1999, and no one cares about proper encoding of 1999 content in 2011.
#29 Edited by 1p (760 posts) -
@Slaker117 said:

" Damn, I was hoping it was going to say something along the lines of "7.5- The game's fun enough, but the formula doesn't have any lasting appeal. It's just a quick fad, I don't see this going anywhere." "

Me too, that's why i looked up the review. For some reason, it was written over half a year after the games were released, so the reviewer had already witnessed the success.

#30 Posted by TehFlan (1944 posts) -
@AckbarTheGreat said:
" @Simulacrum: @Simulacrum said:

" @Azteck said:

" @Underachiever007 said:
" @dbz1995 said:
" @Underachiever007 said:
" @Jothel said:

" @cypher89 said:

" TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST... TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE "

I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND... SEARCHING FAR AND WIIIIDE "
TEACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND THE POWER THAT'S INSIIIIDE "
POKEMON! "
GOTTA CATCH EM ALL "
IT'S YOU AND ME "
I KNOW IT'S MY DESTINY "
POKEMON!  OOOH YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND "
IN A WORLD WE MUST DEFEND
#31 Posted by 1p (760 posts) -
Here's the GameSpot review. It's dated January 2000, and the Red Version review is from February 2001, which is weird. The games came out in September 1998 in the US, and had already been out in Japan for over 2 years at that point. Why did IGN and GameSpot both review them so late?
#32 Posted by CaptainCody (1505 posts) -

If only they decided to keep the original theme song rather than the same mechanics.

#33 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

Keep in mind that reviews back then were terrible. Navgtr wasn't the only one who sucked at it; check out GameSpot's Wild Arms review. I'm not linking it, simply because I don't want to be held responsible for any time travel mass murders.

#34 Posted by GS_Dan (1403 posts) -

All old IGN reviews used to list features like that. Times change.

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