Here it is, folks.

I came for the historical implications of reading a review of the first game in a series that's still as popular 13 years later. I stayed, however, for the quality writing:

In case you haven't noticed it, there's a little craze going on in the world with these guys known as Pokémon. It doesn't matter if you love 'em, hate 'em, or drop-kick 'em, you've at least heard of them ...

"drop-kick 'em"? What am i reading again?

Features

• 151 Creatures to Capture
• Mini-quests
• Link cable support for two players
• For Game Boy and Game Boy Color

Yes, this is part of the review text. A bullet point list of the game's features. You know, written by the publisher, like on the back of the box?

... the big wigs at Nintendo decided to bring these little guys to the US. And guess what? It caught on like a cold. And chances are, you've caught it as well.

Nicely done.

Also, the word "literally" is used in 3 of the 7 total paragraphs. That's literally 42,9 percent of paragraphs!

(I really shouldn't post this. I'm a terrible writer myself.)

IGN, writing a load of bollocks that would embarrass a 12 year old for over a decade. A few choice quotations: 

• "this is one monster game! "
•    "  See, when you encounter a wild Pokémon, you must do battle with it ¿ and the only way to do battle with a Pokémon is with another Pokémon."
• "It literally becomes a game of Rock/Paper/Scissors as you try and discover which Pokémon works best against others. "  

Cool.

So not much has changed for either IGN or Pokemon then. 
Shocking.

Which character encoding am I supposed to use when reading the review? If I use UTF-8 I see upside-down question marks where I assume there are supposed to be em dashes or something.
 
Yeah, and that's not exactly great writing there.

I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST........NOONE EVER WAS 

TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST... TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE

" So not much has changed for either IGN or Pokemon then. Shocking. "

Heh, right. Seriously though, i think that review is magnitudes more awful than the recent IGN output. They're not great now, but far less offensive most of the time.

@LordAndrew: Don't bother. The formatting was probably fucked by one of their site redesigns.

" TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST... TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE "

Awesome games but lol @ "drop kickin' em"....

" @cypher89 said:

" TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST... TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE "

I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND... SEARCHING FAR AND WIIIIDE "

Ouch, that is bad. But they still haven't improved a lot since.

" @Jothel said:

" @cypher89 said:

" TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST... TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE "

I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND... SEARCHING FAR AND WIIIIDE "

TEACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND THE POWER THAT'S INSIIIIDE "

" @Underachiever007 said:

" @Jothel said:

" @cypher89 said:

" TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST... TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE "

I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND... SEARCHING FAR AND WIIIIDE "

TEACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND THE POWER THAT'S INSIIIIDE "

POKEMON! "

" @dbz1995 said:

" @Underachiever007 said:

" @Jothel said:

" @cypher89 said:

" TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST... TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE "

I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND... SEARCHING FAR AND WIIIIDE "

TEACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND THE POWER THAT'S INSIIIIDE "

POKEMON! "

GOTTA CATCH EM ALL "

Good to see you don't get riled up over any little thing you find.

" @Jothel said:

" @cypher89 said:

" TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST... TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE "

I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND... SEARCHING FAR AND WIIIIDE "

TEACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND THE POWER THAT'S INSIIIIDE "

" @dbz1995 said:

" @Underachiever007 said:

" @Jothel said:

" @cypher89 said:

" TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST... TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE "

I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND... SEARCHING FAR AND WIIIIDE "

TEACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND THE POWER THAT'S INSIIIIDE "

POKEMON! "

GOTTA CATCH EM ALL "

" @Underachiever007 said:

" @dbz1995 said:

" @Underachiever007 said:

" @Jothel said:

" @cypher89 said:

" TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST... TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE "

I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND... SEARCHING FAR AND WIIIIDE "

TEACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND THE POWER THAT'S INSIIIIDE "

POKEMON! "

GOTTA CATCH EM ALL "

IT'S YOU AND ME "

Yep, IGN. 

" Whats with all the upside down question marks? "

" @Azteck said:

" @Underachiever007 said:

" @dbz1995 said:

" @Underachiever007 said:

" @Jothel said:

" @cypher89 said:

" TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST... TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE "

I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND... SEARCHING FAR AND WIIIIDE "

TEACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND THE POWER THAT'S INSIIIIDE "

POKEMON! "

GOTTA CATCH EM ALL "

IT'S YOU AND ME "

I KNOW IT'S MY DESTINY "

I wish IGN reviews were still like that... it has more soul in the writing 
 
besides the features of the game list

Damn, I was hoping it was going to say something along the lines of "7.5- The game's fun enough, but the formula doesn't have any lasting appeal. It's just a quick fad, I don't see this going anywhere."

" Whats with all the upside down question marks? "

" Damn, I was hoping it was going to say something along the lines of "7.5- The game's fun enough, but the formula doesn't have any lasting appeal. It's just a quick fad, I don't see this going anywhere." "

Me too, that's why i looked up the review. For some reason, it was written over half a year after the games were released, so the reviewer had already witnessed the success.

" @Simulacrum:@Simulacrum said:

" @Azteck said:

" @Underachiever007 said:

" @dbz1995 said:

" @Underachiever007 said:

" @Jothel said:

" @cypher89 said:

" TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST... TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE "

I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND... SEARCHING FAR AND WIIIIDE "

TEACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND THE POWER THAT'S INSIIIIDE "

POKEMON! "

GOTTA CATCH EM ALL "

IT'S YOU AND ME "

I KNOW IT'S MY DESTINY "

POKEMON!  OOOH YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND "

If only they decided to keep the original theme song rather than the same mechanics.

Keep in mind that reviews back then were terrible. Navgtr wasn't the only one who sucked at it; check out GameSpot's Wild Arms review. I'm not linking it, simply because I don't want to be held responsible for any time travel mass murders.

All old IGN reviews used to list features like that. Times change.