Aperture Science Has An E3 Surprise

  • 120 results
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
Posted by MattBodega (1903 posts) -

Just read it.

Dear Subject Name Here, 
 
Aperture Science is pleased to inform you that we have partnered with Valve to announce the gala CANCELLATION of the June 14 Portal 2 event at the Regal Theater. The event will be replaced by a surprise. And even though the cancellation of the event certainly counts as a surprise, we are pleased to further announce that the cancellation of the event is not THE surprise. However, per International treaties regarding the definition of the word "surprise", of which both Aperture Science and Valve are signatories, the time, date and content of the actual surprise will only become available as you experience the surprise.

If you'd like to ask fruitless questions about the E3 Portal 2 surprise or, more fruitfully, schedule an appointment to attend a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3, please contact Valve's Special Envoy to Surprises, Doug Lombardi.

Thank you for <<RECORD SCRATCH!!!>>
 
PS: The surprising record scratch is also not the surprise.

When I grow up, I want to be the CSO: Chief Surprise Officer.
#1 Posted by MattBodega (1903 posts) -

Just read it.

Dear Subject Name Here, 
 
Aperture Science is pleased to inform you that we have partnered with Valve to announce the gala CANCELLATION of the June 14 Portal 2 event at the Regal Theater. The event will be replaced by a surprise. And even though the cancellation of the event certainly counts as a surprise, we are pleased to further announce that the cancellation of the event is not THE surprise. However, per International treaties regarding the definition of the word "surprise", of which both Aperture Science and Valve are signatories, the time, date and content of the actual surprise will only become available as you experience the surprise.

If you'd like to ask fruitless questions about the E3 Portal 2 surprise or, more fruitfully, schedule an appointment to attend a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3, please contact Valve's Special Envoy to Surprises, Doug Lombardi.

Thank you for <<RECORD SCRATCH!!!>>
 
PS: The surprising record scratch is also not the surprise.

When I grow up, I want to be the CSO: Chief Surprise Officer.
#2 Posted by garnsr (97 posts) -

Surprise!

#3 Posted by Ace829 (2083 posts) -

Grrr

#4 Posted by Aaox (1657 posts) -

Surprise, dude. 
That record scratch.

#5 Posted by BeachThunder (11713 posts) -

I'm going to assume that the surprise is Portal 2 is actually now available on Steam - and for free too!!!
 

#6 Posted by MisterMouse (3541 posts) -

Haha I love Aperature Science and Co. the are pretty good with leaking things, and they are funny

#7 Edited by Mikemcn (6959 posts) -

God I love Valve's style of news.

#8 Posted by weegieanawrench (1935 posts) -

I love the humour for the Portal games. GlaDOS especially.

#9 Posted by Badfysh (30 posts) -

hopefully Valve will announce Half Life 3 and just forget about episode 3 been a long time since HL2, as much as i love Portal, a Half Life announcement would be awsome

#10 Posted by Olivaw (1215 posts) -

EPISODE 3 YOU FUCKS. SHOW IT TO US.

#11 Posted by Phished0ne (2485 posts) -

The surprise is that everyone in the building is going to be enlisted  in the Pilot tests for the new Aperture Science product 
 
"The Cake Gun"

#12 Posted by EvilTwin (3324 posts) -

That is a simply delightful press release to read.

#13 Posted by Brad (2881 posts) -
@Olivaw said:
" EPISODE 3 YOU FUCKS. SHOW IT TO US. "
Preach it brother.
Staff
#14 Posted by BigChief (503 posts) -

Haha, that is the best release of information ever. Well played, Valve. Also, this had better be Episode 3 dammit!

#16 Posted by Cybexx (1154 posts) -

So this pretty obviously says to me they are moving what they were going to show at that event to the Microsoft Press Conference. Maybe the Sony one if they have patched things up, maybe even the EA one since the retail release will probably be EA Partners, but nobody really watches the EA one except the press who are forced to attend.

#17 Posted by Mikemcn (6959 posts) -
@Tarsier said:
" @Brad said:
" @Olivaw said:
" EPISODE 3 YOU FUCKS. SHOW IT TO US. "
Preach it brother. "
or how about just half life 3. do y'all really want another source engine game?  "
Why would they need to upgrade their engine? Left 4 Dead 2 is as technically impressive as any other game, a full source engine upgrade is years off.
#18 Posted by demontium (4707 posts) -
@Brad said:
" @Olivaw said:
" EPISODE 3 YOU FUCKS. SHOW IT TO US. "
Preach it brother. "
brad why are you bald?
#19 Posted by ArbitraryWater (11491 posts) -
@Tarsier said:
" @Brad said:
" @Olivaw said:
" EPISODE 3 YOU FUCKS. SHOW IT TO US. "
Preach it brother. "
or how about just half life 3. do y'all really want another source engine game?  "
This. If Episode 3 was revealed to be yet another 4-6 hour minisode using the name and technology from a 6 year old game, I would be rather disappointed. Just make a full fledged Half Life 3 at this point with the successor to the Source engine. 
 
Oh, and this press release was pretty much the best thing ever.
#20 Posted by august (3827 posts) -
@Brad said:
" @Olivaw said:
" EPISODE 3 YOU FUCKS. SHOW IT TO US. "
Preach it brother. "
The sad thing is I'm analyzing the crap out of your three word response to try to figure out if you know something we don't.
#21 Edited by MarkWahlberg (4580 posts) -

Portal 2 IS Episode 3! AAAAH MINDFUUCK

#22 Posted by Gorehorn (88 posts) -
@demontium: @demontium said:
" @Brad said:
" @Olivaw said:
" EPISODE 3 YOU FUCKS. SHOW IT TO US. "
Preach it brother. "
brad why are you bald? "
Seriously? 
 
It's a picture of J. Allard...
#23 Posted by SPACETURTLE (1622 posts) -

Dude, I fucking love surprises! Good golly, pleez god let this be a episode-3-surprise!

#24 Posted by Shirogane (3563 posts) -

Portal 2 got cancelled and instead they ending up developing a portal gun? I'd be fine with that.
#25 Posted by EdTwo (471 posts) -

I love Valve

#26 Posted by Gorehorn (88 posts) -

Anybody know, if this was sent out as an audio file with GLaDOS reading it out? Would be sooo fitting.

#27 Posted by JackiJinx (3089 posts) -

The surprise is a lie.

#28 Posted by DrRandle (1202 posts) -

Episode 3 probably won't be for a while. What with the it not making as much money for Valve. They are, *Gasp!* A business, after all.

#29 Posted by KidA (70 posts) -

Can't wait. I actually went back and finally finished HL2 and E1 recently, still hold up.

#30 Posted by Olivaw (1215 posts) -
@Mikemcn said:
" @Tarsier said:
" @Brad said:
" @Olivaw said:
" EPISODE 3 YOU FUCKS. SHOW IT TO US. "
Preach it brother. "
or how about just half life 3. do y'all really want another source engine game?  "
Why would they need to upgrade their engine? Left 4 Dead 2 is as technically impressive as any other game, a full source engine upgrade is years off. "
Seriously, anyone who says Source looks bad is a big dumbface with dumb opinions.
#31 Posted by Rasta_Zergling (113 posts) -

I love you Valve

#32 Posted by demontium (4707 posts) -
@Gorehorn said:
" @demontium: @demontium said:
" @Brad said:
" @Olivaw said:
" EPISODE 3 YOU FUCKS. SHOW IT TO US. "
Preach it brother. "
brad why are you bald? "
Seriously?   It's a picture of J. Allard... "
Seriously.... it was a joke.
#34 Posted by Jayross (2365 posts) -

Ah... I love Aperture Science. 
 
Well, besides that time they tried to kill me.

#35 Posted by orshick (170 posts) -
@ArbitraryWater said:
" @Tarsier said:
" @Brad said:
" @Olivaw said:
" EPISODE 3 YOU FUCKS. SHOW IT TO US. "
Preach it brother. "
or how about just half life 3. do y'all really want another source engine game?  "
This. If Episode 3 was revealed to be yet another 4-6 hour minisode using the name and technology from a 6 year old game, I would be rather disappointed. Just make a full fledged Half Life 3 at this point with the successor to the Source engine.   Oh, and this press release was pretty much the best thing ever. "
I disagree. Source engine games still look beautiful, and all the enhancements they've made to it over the years have certainly made it age more gracefully than many other game engines. They've invested a lot into source engine, and I think it diserves the proper send-off that was planned with episode 3. Afterall, id rather them just make the damn game with the existing tech--it takes them long enough this way, rather thwan wait for them to also make new engines.
#36 Posted by TheHT (10924 posts) -

coolio.
 
i`m really excited n all for portal 2 but today i just realized i really want episode 3.

Online
#37 Posted by Rhombus_Of_Terror (2089 posts) -

They're going to smack us in the face with a massive Half Life 3 reveal and it'll be 1998 all over again...

#38 Posted by Contra (247 posts) -

Valve... What?  You... what?
 
You are... what?
 
How many games are they working on?

#39 Posted by Milkman (16540 posts) -

Episode 3
Episode 3
Episode 3
Episode 3
Episode 3
Episode 3
Episode 3

#40 Posted by Daveyo520 (6661 posts) -

I want to know!!!!!!!!!

#41 Posted by AllanIceman (1322 posts) -

Nicely done Valve. Yet again.

#42 Posted by Subach (41 posts) -

 Source still can be pushed quite a bit further, as can be seen with the effects and assets created for Black Mesa Source and the City 17 mod. I frankly wouldn't mind at all if they continue using Source. Half-Life 2 is still a beautiful game with better art design, animation, and character models than most games, even in 2010.
The only really dated thing I found in EP 2 was the sprited vegetation, and that can be forgiven as dynamic 3D vegetation is incredibly taxing performance wise.

#43 Posted by Tuggah (1072 posts) -
@EdTwo said:
" I love Valve "
dido
#45 Posted by MoTheHawk (94 posts) -
@Olivaw: TF2 and both L4D games have been my absolute favorite games of the past five years, and I still play them to this very day.
 
Source looks bad.
#46 Posted by RandomInternetUser (6789 posts) -

Valve.. you so craaazy.

#47 Posted by Forcen (1806 posts) -

This better be something surprising, a Portal 2 trailer is not surprising...

#48 Posted by AltDimension (257 posts) -

Who is Matt Kessler? 

#49 Posted by ZGoon (264 posts) -

The surprise is that they are gonna release Portal 2 and Episode 3 together in one package. 
 
I hope...
 
Also a new counter-strike and a new day of defeat... that would be grand.

#50 Posted by Olivaw (1215 posts) -
@MoTheHawk said:
" @Olivaw: TF2 and both L4D games have been my absolute favorite games of the past five years, and I still play them to this very day.  Source looks bad. "
Nah.

This edit will also create new pages on Giant Bomb for:

Beware, you are proposing to add brand new pages to the wiki along with your edits. Make sure this is what you intended. This will likely increase the time it takes for your changes to go live.

Comment and Save

Until you earn 1000 points all your submissions need to be vetted by other Giant Bomb users. This process takes no more than a few hours and we'll send you an email once approved.