Portal 2

Portal 2 is a spectacular game that's both easy and difficult to review at the same time because there's plenty to say about what's good, but also I want to make sure I do proper justice to it. This review will definitely contain massive spoilers so don't even think about reading this before you've played the game. Play it. At the writing of this review it's already gone down to $40 so there's no excuse.

Portal was nothing short of a sweeping internet phenomenon and deservedly so. Its length was short and incredibly sweet, but of course we were all left wanting more. Valve listened and then some, because more is what they gave us and then brought it to the tenth power. Portal 2 is a fantastic game that is genuinely laugh out loud funny with beautiful visuals, and amazing scope that went beyond my wildest expectations.

There have been some outliers complaining about either the $80 worth of DLC released on Day 1 or the short length of the game. The single player campaign took me about 8-9 hours to beat and the co-op mode I played off and on was probably of a similar play time. People boasting that they beat the game in 3-4 hours are either outright liars or savants who probably don't understand the concept of savoring something. Portal 2 is the filet mignon of games, and it doesn't even cost more than the others so really haters are just gonna hate.

 At the end of the first Portal you've blown up GLaDOS and nearly escaped the Aperture Science testing facility when your unconscious body is dragged away and GLaDOS taunts you that she is indeed still alive. Portal 2 opens with Chell waking up in an Aperture Science hibernation room that looks more like a cheap hotel. Things are in complete disarray and if you're to trust the computer, it's been hundreds if not thousands of years since the first game.

Chell is joined by Wheatley (voiced by an absolutely delightful Stephen Merchant) who is an AI core sphere similar to the ones you threw into the incinerator at the end of the first game. Wheatley was/is responsible for the other humans being kept in hibernation but it seems like Chell is the last, and he's trying to help her escape.

The amazing introduction has Wheatley moving your hotel room/storage container around the beyond massive facility of Aperture Science, crashing into everything and knocking things over. The place is more like an underground city than a laboratory. Portal's latter half gave us a view behind the scenes. Portal 2 gives you a view behind the scenes' scenes.

The testing facility is now overgrown with wildlife, panels missing everywhere, water leaking and birds are clearly audible in the distance. Eventually you are reunited with GLaDOS and she's more than a little miffed that you killed her so many years ago (an event her programming has forced her to relive over and over and over again). But she's back now and more than ready to submit you to more of her infernal tests while taunting you with a lot of cutting remarks. The basic plot of Portal 2 is easy to sum up, but the writing, the level design, art direction, set decoration and animation are what make it such an unforgettable game. Everything animate and inanimate in the game just ooze charm and personality.

The animation of everything from Wheatley to the test facility wall panels easily rival the best of Pixar and reminded me a lot of the robots in Wall-E. After playing Portal 2, you will believe that a wall or floor can have emotions.I mean, what do animators have to work with when your character at best is a metal eyeball? The robots and test facility are like silent film actors using their physicality to convey the emotion. There are games with fully voiced human characters who couldn't hold a candle to some of the inanimate objects in this game. Animators at Valve, kudos. Seriously.

The amazing level design of in Portal 2 cannot be overstated. I can't remember the last game I've played (or if I've ever played) which had environments on the scale of Portal 2. The epic scope simultaneously impresses, but also informs the story in a way the best games like Bioshock use their location to immerse the player. Chell's anti-falling boots really allow Valve's level designers to make some truly massive locations.

The testing facility is impressive in itself, but it's about halfway through the game when you fall into the long forgotten sections of Aperture Science where things really get crazy. Imagine an industrial version of the dwarf city of Barad-dur from The Lord of the Rings and you'll get some idea of the scale. It's also here that you're introduced to Cave Johnson, the founder of Aperture Science voiced by a fantastic J.K. Simmons. When in the Aperture Science facility of old you'll be accompanied by Cave Johnson's pre-recorded voice recordings intended for hapless test subjects who he promises will be rewarded with $60 for their services.

The gameplay of Portal 2 has been refined with several necessary additions such as a zoom button that lets you pinpoint walls you'll need to shoot portals onto. There are also a lot of new objects to interact with such as lasers, prism cubes, hard light bridges, tractor beams, jump panels and special gels. The multi-colored gels each have different properties to them for making surfaces slick, bouncy or portal-able. When used in conjunction with portals you have a wide variety of test chambers to solve.

Rest assured, Valve has done its homework and every new mechanic is slowly introduced so that you're well prepared by the time the puzzles get really mind bending. Some of the really challenging levels will force you to slowly assess everything in the room and plan out your method of attack. Usually the usable elements in the room have been distilled to only what you need in order to advance, so it's rare that you don't know at least where to start.

Portal 2 is designed to not be a twitch reflex game, so if your solution requires a lot of lightning fast reflexes you're usually making it needlessly complicated. The game was never frustrating to the point of digging up a FAQ and always immensely satisfying to find the solution. Sometimes I wished the creators could've been in the room as I played so I could give them a round of applause. During the toughest puzzles my thought process from inspiration to execution when something like this: "Oh no way they want me to do that... oh god damn they do... oh shit really?... This is awessoooooooome!!!"

When you're done with single player there's a fantastic co-op mode which can be played online or via local splitscreen. You play as one of two adorable testing robots which GLaDOS is using to continue her testing. Thinking with two portals is one thing, but thinking with four is an entirely different ball game. I was very intimidated going in because I was worried the puzzles were going to be so mind bending I wouldn't be able to do them, but my worries ended up being completely unfounded.

Co-op mode has the tools necessary to make things go as smoothly as possible to communicate with your partner. These are essential if you're playing online or even sitting side by side on a sofa. There's a "ping tool" which you can use to mark locations you want your partner to portal and also a countdown you can use when actions need to be in sync. The robots also have very cute gestures which are usually just for high-fiving each other and messing around but can also be used to show your partner where you are.

This mode is much less story driven, but there's still commentary from GLaDOS for each test chamber, and there's an ending which shows you a side of Aperture Science that you won't be seeing in the single player. There are about 40 chambers in all and the coordination required between you and your partner creates some extremely fun puzzles indeed. Once again there were a lot of "Oh my god, they want me to do that??" moments followed by "Oh my god we did it!" The free DLC map pack for Portal 2 cannot come soon enough.

The robots you play as are completely adorable and if you're anything like me you'll be abusing the cute gesture buttons as much as possible while you play. The term "girlfriend mode" is often used as a pejorative when describing limited 2-player support, but Portal 2 has created one of the best collaborative gaming experiences I've had in a game. The co-op mode is an essential portion of the Portal 2 experience so grab a second controller and a friend to experience it.

Any gripes I had about Portal 2 are very minor and nitpicky. The game has extremely frequent load screens. I don't know anything about game programming, but looking at the impressive environments of the game I would imagine it difficult to stream in all that information to make it completely seamless. Thankfully they occasionally inject a little story into the load screens which keeps things fresh. Other than the frequent pauses for loading there's little to fault in the game.

Know what else? This game is rated E-10 for Everyone 10 and above. It's not often the gaming community gets so nuts over a game with a rating like that which isn't a Nintendo game. I think Valve realized that if they just took the blood splatter out of the original their game was pretty inoffensive. Portal 2 not only met my expectations it utterly shattered them, reassembled the pieces and then forced me to endure its fiendish tests. It expanded upon the fiction in exciting ways and it had me smiling ear to ear with its delightful charm. The single player and co-op modes leave room for a sequel, but also are completely satisfying endings so if there's never to be a Portal 3 then I can still feel satisfied.

My only gripe about the original game was that in replaying it I could only exist in that world for a couple hours at a time. But Portal 2 has given me the keys and an invitation to come back again and stick around for a while longer. I seriously love this game and want to give it a big Aperture Science style robot hug.