BraindeadRacr

As I'm literally bashing the living hell out of my G-key, which decided to go housewife on me and only work half of the times while I sit here annoyed by the fact that it still works, thus not having enough reason to replace it.

.....Aannnyyyywaaayyy; As I was doing that. I came across some interesting brain-chow:
Too Human now officially has two, and I repeat two assholes. For the generous gaming community has tore it a brand sparkling new one.
Dennis Dyack on the other hand doesn't deserve to even have a single one for the fact that he's being so goddamn anal it's a new world record.

Christ, so many fucking G's. Words, why must thy contain so many god forsaken G's!?

But back to that game that makes S.T.A.L.K.E.R's massive delay look like nothing whatsoever.
Back in '99, Dyack's ignorance spread began with the announcing of Too Human. A name, a logo. Nothing more, nothing less.

...Now it's frickin' '08.
And look where we have stranded.

I already considered Dyack the most ignorant douchebag for his unique capability of being so goddamn full of himself, it actually made him chubby. When this man goes to take a leak, he's pissing pure golden ignorance and shits bricks of solid douche. Quite the personality.

Now, allow me to tell you something. It's related to common sense, and the thing I'm about to say is something that might be completely obvious to you.
- Every game developer is allowed to say 'I consider my game great', without being considered being completely full of yourself. For it's your own creation, something you'll most definatly like yourself. Dennis Dyack on the other hand, doesn't just love his own creation; His mission over the past years was to not just convince everyone else, his mission was to make everyone like the damn thing. And if you didn't, he'd consider you a tasteless dumbass.

After a few personal vandetta's here and there...
Well, after nearly ten motherfucking years, countless of debates, previews and such bull later...

Too Human turns out to be a pit of mediocre-ness.
A big mess between back story and lackluster gameplay.
The type of game like Halo 3, where you're thrown in a big mess wondering "What the hell happened!?". Only Halo 3 makes up for the "Here you go...Y'know what happened", for having TWO additional games infront of it. While Too Human plays as if there has been a number of prequels you should've played, and you're thrown inthere thinking "Yeah... I uhh... Will find out, I guess.".

Hell, if a reviewer says "It isn't bad...", you know damn well he's trying to say "...But it sure ain't good either.". Thanks Kevin VanOrd, you made my day.

Oh, and I'm trying to make a comeback on GameSpot as well as Giantbomb with the whole blogging thing. Someone, please fix GameSpot already. It's like driving a car with three wheels. It's possible, but you know damn well if you get that fourth wheel back on it's a helluva lot better.

Goddamn, completely forgot about this.
Yes, it's a download. It's not like I'm trying to give you a virus or somethin', the flu's not really my thing.

...Or any other sandbox action game city for that matter.

Yeah, I see you thinking.
"He's gonna bash London, the vile yank bastard".

Wrong. So let's get this out of the way quick;
I haven't got anything against Brits, London, the United Kingdom itself, the Royal Family, Bedford and Winchester Crackers.

There, so please, don't go "YOU BLOODY YANK!" on me. Cause, I haven't even insulted London yet.

Alright, back to the topic.
Why London shouldn't be a GTA city...

First off all, London isn't a crime riddled city.
Hah, you're as clear as glass. Again; I just smell the hatred... "ITS FULL OF FUCKIN CRIME!"

- Technically, that's right... But what kind of crime has London been dealing with over the past 20 years? Pot-dealers, car theft and the illigal holding of pocket knifes.

You feeling me on this one? PETTY crimes. "So, whadda'ya got in mind to take this bastard out?" - "I'll nick myself a Peugeot, smoke some dope and shank the motherfucker..."
Hell, the murder statistics have gone down like a falling brick(which is good ofcourse), only 400-something gun-felonies were recorded and 155 people have been murdered since 2007. (link)

Though, I gotta say - The fact that London is getting ALOT safer's only good. But for the sake of setting a violent video game in this city... It's not gonna work. New York City itself currenty hasn't got the massive crime figures of a noteworthy fucked up city, but underground crime by which the Mafia isn't excluded has never left this city. What underground crime does London have of which you could form a storyline of?

The Yardies. Dope pushers and loan sharkers. You gotta admit, that ain't much.

Alright, there's no denying that doing what The Getaway did could work out well - Creating a fictional mob that's everything the current Mafia is today, but then in British fashion. Hell, in fiction anything can be done well.

The second, and final point is geography.
The beautifull thing about just about any American city, is it's layout. It's a very simple layout of cross-road pattern blocks, with a major highway outlining it.
The negative thing about London, and alot of other European cities; Is trying to find out of how the hell you're supposed to get from A-to-B.

Most American cities have two or three major streets that go from the most southern tip of the city, to the most northern tip. I've been in London, twice. And my parents always ended up taking back the rental car and all throwing us into one of them black cabbies - Cause we didn't know where the hell we were supposed to go. There's not a straight line on the map to be found aside of the road going around Hyde Park.

Central London
Downtown Manhattan
See the difference in navigation?

Aside from the fact that finding your way around town might be a challenge not worth going for; It's not the most interesting city.

DAMN! I SAID IT!
Yes, in real life - A four day vacation to London is all worth the money, hell I'd even suggest you'd go there right now.
In video games - Why the hell would you wanna go and visit The Big Ben, in a game? Why would you wanna go and visit the Tower Bridge, just to get stuck in AI traffic?

There's no true experience to visiting monuments, other than in real life.
Sure, like GTA:IV managed to pull off - The feel. But other than six, or seven London sight-seeing-spots, it's nothing more than medium-sized financial buildings.

Alright, it's hard to contest the matter of London being a very interesting city. And if The Getaway didn't feel so rigid, it could've been a great game. But there's several things about London that would be too much of a hassle even trying to figure out how it could be adapted into working gameplay.

(Oh, and all of this is opinion - Suck on that.)

Like the title says, a handfull. A handfull of what? Things.

First of all, usually I'd blog daily. Occasional one-or-two-day-skip.
The simple reason being of why I'm starting to y'know, not come around anymore, is the simple fact that GameSpot is six feet under and Giantbomb ain't worth a damn when it comes for replacement. Sure, the sick obsession some had for emblems has been given a replacement; Points. Just as random, just as useless. But people love 'em.

The GameSpot Thing.

Gamespot's done. News, fine. It's led by CBS after all. Updates, fine. Reviews, all of their reviewers have felt a slow walk downhill into the fiery pits of hell since Gerstmann left, and I can't say that I really liked the fact that Kevin VanOrd was trying to mop it up by being both Alex Navarro and Jeff Gerstmann at the same time. Dressing up, wrong. Good reviews, biased as hell. Quality, meh. Timing, delays from 3 days to 4 weeks. But what really bothers me is the part "Community Website", it should be either;

- "Rules for the Community Website"
- "Bans-R-Us; come in, get bitchslapped, and get the hell out."
- "The proud website GameSpot, holder of the largest Terms of Service list since ' T.O.S for Queen Elizabeth II's Royal House of Windsor' ."

There's some moderators that I greatly respect. But there's a large number of power-tripping sons of bitches who I'd love to tear a new asshole.

Now for me, GameSpot was a great website, putting it's flaws aside. Mainly for the community part I was there.
Giantbomb came and it all split up into sides, and trying be at both didn't work. Giantbomb isn't solving one bit of the problem for me, and GameSpot's sinking further into the pool of shit it is in.

The World of Warcraft Thing.

I still don't play the game with a smile. Strangely enough, seeing as X-Fire notified me of passing the 100 hour milestone.
Why am I playing this game, still, months after months of saying "I just don't like it"?

See, whenever I set myself a goal. I stick to it. And that's currently to get a character to level 55, so that I won't waste 50 bucks.
I pre-ordered The Wrath of the Lich King, when I bought the WoW Battlechest from eBay. I figured I'd be enjoying the game so much that the expansion pack's worth buying. Now I'm on the fence with my thoughts, playing it for the sole reason that I bought the Limited Edition(What!? Free swag always takes my heart, man!).

Now, incase you don't know.
The Wrath of the Lich King is a expansion pack with a hefty requirement.
- You NEED one level 55 character, doesn't matter what race, class, anything. Or you simply won't be able of using the content. Perhaps, visiting the lands made for 70-79 characters as a 25-55 character, if that makes your suicidal mind buzz... I want to be able to play it like it's ment to be played.

Though, I'm throwing hours and hours of my life away. Hours I could've spend by watching TV, play the Xbox, socialize with random strangers, randomly call a buddy and take him out for food. Yeah, depressing thought, but makes sense eh? You're wasting time with everything.

Oh, and my character's name gives me some inspiration to play, and also the entire reason of why I am playing. Perhaps, the best nod to The Big Lebowski in a game?


The Movies Thing.

Still haven't seen The Dark Knight. Instead......

• Escape from New York(1981) - Thanks Erik, I remember watching the movie a long time ago...
• Escape from L.A(1996) - Exactly like Escape from New York, only then in L.A. I'd say, worth watching.
• Basic(2003) - Great, great movie.
• Independence Day(1996) - *stares blankly off to the Alien Destroyer...* What a movie, man. Impressive.

The PDF Thing.

I'm working on that one as we speak.

Well, another day, another blog. Catch you guys later.

Times that I actually went to see it - None.
What have I been doing lately to avoid the sheer goodness of The Dark Knight?

Let's see, I rented a bunch of DVD's from Blockbuster over the past two weeks. Most of the movies, I've seen 'em once or twice. Though it's better to watch these movies again than to watch the Yankees kick ass. By the way, does ANYONE know what the hell happened during the 7th inning Yankees versus Baltimore? Something caused everyone to go "This isn't good" about the Yankees while they were leading 7-2.

Anyway, the movies.

• Suicide Kings(1997) - Liked it very much, actually.
• A Clockwork Orange(1971) - Milk is evil.
• Full Metal Jacket(1987) - Best Vietnam war movie I've seen to date. Better than the one with Mel Gibson.
• The Big Lebowski(1996) - Fuck it, Dude. Let's go bowlin'.
• Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy(2004) - The best film Will Ferrel has done. Not that he has many to be proud of...
• Natural Born Killers(1994) - Creepy, tense and has one helluva mood to it.
• Dirty Harry: Sudden Impact(1984) - :D
• Pulp Fiction(1994) - Classic.
• Die Hard(1988) - <Insert John McClane punchline here>
• King of New York(1990) - One helluva brutal take at Robin Hood...

While people keep telling me to go and see The Dark Knight, I end up pulling up to a Blockbuster and later a 7-Eleven to get some snacks.

Meh, nothing beats sitting on a couch watching a good flick.