ElPersonaVII

El juego Resident Evil 4 es un juego que todas las personas en el mundo deben jugar. El primer dia que yo estaba jugando este juego, yo piense...que pasara si yo no puedo escapar de este sitio? Despues mas luego yo aprendi que lo que paso fue que un hombre sin pistola queria abrasar me. Yo fui a abrasarlo y el saco los denties y comenso a comer me. Yo tenia que oprimir el boton "A" muy rapido para sacar lo y matar lo rapidamente.

Este juego no es para ninos. Este juego no es para jovenes. Este juego no es para viejos. Este juego es para Zombies. Ahorita, vamos a peliar, tu y yo. Tu me debe el dinero del lunche.

Este juego es facil de aprender como jugar. Corre, y dispara. Ya. Eso es todo.  Felicidades.

Ahora reguerdate a comprar javon de banio, y lavate la narga. No te olvides tampoco que el ultimo boss de este juego es bastante facil. No te preocupes. Jajajajaja! Esto es como la ves que mi olvide a comprar una cervesa.

Adios, yo recommendo este juego a todo el mundo, especialmente lo que saben hablar espanol, porque por fin sabiendo espanol te ayuda jugar un juego!! Jajajajaja hohohoho!!

I enjoyed this game quite a bit in the past. Now that I reminisce about my Sonicy adventures, they were quite crappy. I just remember racing as Sonic and Shadow to be the biggest thrill, untill Tails reared his ugly ass. I mean seriously, wtf were they thinking putting Tails into a fucking machine, the dude can FLY!!! The stupid collecting and Tails missions ruined what was almost a very good game, still worth the buy though.

So it's basic Sonic ok you run run, oh noes I got hit and I lost all my coins, time to pick them up!! And then you just keep on going from there. Other than that the best part of this game is the music which is actually quite good, especially the song "Live and Learn" which is awesome in it's own right. But seriously wtf WHY IS TAILS IN A FUCKING ROBOT!!!!!!! Ugh...

Now fuck the regular game, go play Chao world. Yes, Chao world. Raising my own little critters for hours everyday was more entertaining than the mindfuck that is playing the so called "Dark" and "Hero" stories or whatever. I mean, the bad guys weren't even that dark!!! Dr. Eggman is a pussy and so is that bat chick...well...yea. And seriously wtf the final boss was a slug shit. I'm sorry, but too many parts of this game get me frustrated.

And that's when I enter Chao world, with it's horrible yet soothing background music and watching my little Chao's frolic. I feed them food so they get fat, and throw them around to turn them into devils. I feed them dragons so that they sprout wings, and then use them for my bidding. Don't fuck with my Chaos, they will take you down. Want me to prove it? Then bring your GC memory card over punk, yea that's how I roll, memory cards.

Live and Learn!!

There is a funny thing about this game. It's always making people defend it as if it were some holy grail, and those who haven't experienced it should be shunned and banished to hell. See, the thing is...this game will leave you dazed after playing it, and it really takes a while for you to realize, it's not the greatest thing ever created. The story is complex and quite confusing and the characters are the weirdest bunch of idiots to ever be assembled. But that's the beauty of it.

First you have Cloud, the super saiyin that likes BIG swords, Barret who has a knack for losing pieces of his body, Tifa with her big jugs, Cait Sith with his slots of doom, Vincent with his oh so happy smile, Aerith with her cheap flowers, Cid with his flying boats, and that bitch Yuffie who stole all my materia!!! All these characters have a so called limit break that becomes better as you progress, and they unleash devastating powers upon your oh so weak opponents. Although this game's materia system allows for the ultimate level of customization and let's any character do anything, it still makes you sometimes wish that every character was actually unique when you use them. I always felt as if it didn't really matter who the hell i used when it came to materia, the only thing that mattered when it came to character was the fucking insane limit breaks. But that didn't stop me from looking up Tifa's skirt.

Anywho the shinra bastards wanna take Aerith's ass away from you, while this dude Sephiroth is being badass running away from you. It all boils down to some weird metaphor that we should stop using up all our oil before we destroy ourselves with nukes because we all want it so bad. Or something like that...probably a coincidence...unless...the creators of Final Fantasy are part of a conspiracy!! That's right!! Every last one of those bums is keeping all the oil for themselves, so that we nuke eachother!!! The messege is in the Final Fantasy games...

Just look at FFX. Yea, that game, like...Sin yo!! Sin is just a metaphor for how we are gonna kill eachother if technology gets too advanced!! It's gonna backfire on us, and we'll be stuck in the Matrix!!!!

Check out my Final Fantasy X review for more.

So Imagine that Bugs Bunny tripped on his ass and decided to have sex with Zelda, and there you get the Wind Waker. This game, as, for some odd reason, rejected as it is by purest of the series, is actually no disappointment. Get past the fact that it looks different, so does every other person on the planet, but that doesn't stop you from talking to them, unless you...nevermind. Point being that this game is sex, and I would not take it away from any GameCube owners collection, this game is a must. Sure it is the most annoying game in the world at some point, but doesn't every game have a point like that?

The worst thing about Wind Waker is the dragon boat. The mother fucking dragon boat, that decides that he can go all willy nilly and take you on a journey. But no, not a journey on land, a journey through the magical ocean blue, full of multiple Fugu fish...and unicorns. My point being shard collection sucks. It takes up too much time, and right when the game is picking up speed, it decides to kick you in the ass and slow you down with a hunt...for treasure.

But aside from that you have all the swash buckling action you need. You have your bombs, your sword, your shield...ahh...basically the simple Zelda items. But wait!! There's more!!!!!! You also have the trusty dusty Wind Waker, which is apparently a baton with the ability to control Wind!!!

That's right and if you order a Wind Waker now, we will throw in a free scuba diving hat, filled with the magical wonders of the ocean blue!! Order now!!! Just call the number below your screen, 987-naf-lanif, that's right, 987-naf-lanif!!!! (Due to limitations on the ocean blue you may experience moments of nausea when using the Wind Waker. We do not recommend the Wind Waker for pregnant mothers, if you are on medication, or just straight up being a dumbass.)

Good day sir!!

Ok see, the mission is something that you can't even talk about because it just leaves you damn straight speechless. I mean, the game involves so much blab that at the end of it you're thinking to yourself, "Ok, what the fuck just happened." That's the impression that this "mission simulation" left on me, lot's and lot's of nonsensical nonsense. I mean, it really didn't help that I never played the first MGS game, but ah, I got by...with a major headache. All in all in the end I was very impressed by what was my first Playstation 2 game, a game that in essence made me want to continue discovering what this grand system had to offer.

The game starts out making sense...basically. OK so you go right, you're styling as Solid Snake ready to kick some ass and get intel on the fucking "nuculer" shit before something bad happens. Oh, too late, something bad happens, and now you're some chick named Raiden!! So then as this chick your mission is to basically get to the middle of the hudson in Manhattan, and as polluted as you thought the river already was, now there are friggin nuke shits in a tanker!! But putting all plot aside...this part actually isn't that bad.

Now see what you have to understand is...that this game plays like you're being constantly nagged by your mom. Yea...every 5 seconds you're being called about how to do something or where to go and whether or not you remember the first time you met your girlfriend. Sheesh, you could have at least given me the option to turn my phone on vibrate!!...or sumfin'. But this isn't all bad, because many of the game's weirdest and most key cinematic moments are triggered by these conversations. And the battles, ha, the strangest and most interesting.

Regardless of what you fancy as long as you can take a game with rather slow gameplay to test your patience, you will be rewarded with one of the greatest cinematic experiences anywhere. It's like you paid your cold hard cash in order to see the best action movie ever made. Although I cannot say too much in this review without spoilers, it is true that this is a must play on the Playstation 2. Get past the fact that you're using a chick most of the time. And yes, she is a chick, because when Raiden is naked...she has no balls. Andddddd....cut.