I want my organs to be replaced with Apple gadgets

Does Steve Jobs need my organs? Because I'm ready to give them to him in exchange for free Apple toys. iLiver sends messages to my laptop warning me about high alcohol consumption. iHeart syncs with iMind through Bluetooth to keep my pulse in check.  My new iGut would come with lower storage capacity but I could update it with each generation.
Do you hear that Apple? I'm willing to give you my organs, least you could do is send me and iPad.

37 Comments
37 Comments
Posted by AdSapien

Does Steve Jobs need my organs? Because I'm ready to give them to him in exchange for free Apple toys. iLiver sends messages to my laptop warning me about high alcohol consumption. iHeart syncs with iMind through Bluetooth to keep my pulse in check.  My new iGut would come with lower storage capacity but I could update it with each generation.
Do you hear that Apple? I'm willing to give you my organs, least you could do is send me and iPad.

Posted by MysteriousBob

Any product that starts with a lower case "i" or "Mac" is a piece of worthless crap.

Posted by Rinkalicous
@MysteriousBob: Whether you hate Apple and it's, lets face it, fascist policies or not, trying to deny the success, technically, commercially and culturally, of things such as the iPod or the iPhone is just refusing to see the truth for what it is.
Posted by ProfessorEss
@Rinkalicous said:
" @MysteriousBob: Whether you hate Apple and it's, lets face it, fascist policies or not, trying to deny the success, technically, commercially and culturally, of things such as the iPod or the iPhone is just refusing to see the truth for what it is. "
That marketing is an incredibly effective tool?
Posted by Ineedaname

Is your name Will or Norm?
 
 
OHHHH NO YOU DIDNT

Edited by MysteriousBob
@Rinkalicous said:

" @MysteriousBob: Whether you hate Apple and it's, lets face it, fascist policies or not, trying to deny the success, technically, commercially and culturally, of things such as the iPod or the iPhone is just refusing to see the truth for what it is. "

I don't really think their products are crap (I wouldn't mind owning an iPhone). I just hate their marketing and their bland, mindless boring cult-like worshippers. I've never even used an iPod.
Posted by Yummylee

And you could use your iEye for some casual jesting!
Posted by Vinchenzo

If you were replaced with Apple products you'd be the most expensive paperweight in the entire line-up.

Posted by endaround

So when you take a shit you have to pay someone $100 to do it for you?

Posted by MysteriousBob
@Vinchenzo said:
" If you were replaced with Apple products you'd be the most expensive paperweight in the entire line-up. "
Ooooh so true! 
 
Despite what I said, I can honestly say the iPad is worthless. I mean, one app at a time on a unwieldy giant iPhone? Whats the point? Oh right- it'll make you popular with the other Apple bellends.
 
Also Windows > OS X. Posted from a MacBook running Boot Camp.
Posted by Skald

I will gladly accept your organs in exchange for an iPad.

Posted by The_Laughing_Man
@extremeradical said:
" I will gladly accept your organs in exchange for an iPad. "
They can sell for a lot on the black market.
Posted by armaan8014

What about the iDick?

Posted by ProfessorEss
@armaan8014 said:
" What about the iDick? "
Steve Jobs? OHHH!
Posted by Organicalistic_

ihate- the term for extreme dislikenment or disappointment every time you see an apple product or apple fan.

Posted by Skald
@The_Laughing_Man said:
" @extremeradical said:
" I will gladly accept your organs in exchange for an iPad. "
They can sell for a lot on the black market. "
You're ruining my bargaining position. Keep quiet and we'll split the profits down the middle.
Posted by Chirag4
@MysteriousBob: Then why call their products worthless crap, having never even used an iPod?
Posted by ProfessorEss
@Chirag4 said:
" @MysteriousBob: Then why call their products worthless crap, having never even used an iPod? "
Maybe he's used iTunes and realized that any device linked to that shit pile can't be good? Just throwin ideas out there.
Posted by AlwaysAngry
@MysteriousBob said:
" Any product that starts with a lower case "i" or "Mac" except for the iPod is a piece of worthless crap. "
Fix'd.
Posted by SathingtonWaltz

I like most of Apple's products. I think they do a good job innovating and pushing the industry in new and interesting ways. Wish they weren't so expensive though...

Posted by Southgrove

Atleast you won't need a Flash Blocker anymore.

Posted by Bam_D_Leprechaun
Posted by Taborlin

EMP!

Posted by ninjakiller

Why?   You'd like having to send your organs to Apple for a replacement battery when it went dead? 

Posted by natetodamax

You are going to be one unreliable mother effer then.

Posted by odintal

I love my Ipod touch.
I'd get an IPhone if it were available through Verizon.

Posted by Hitchenson

You want to be a shitty person? Seems odd to me.

Posted by rjayb89

Lets add a touch screen to everything!

Posted by steelharrison

bro your a freak
Posted by JJWeatherman

F that. You'd just have to get the new model organs in a few months.

Posted by Snail

iLol'd.

Posted by addictedtopinescent
@ProfessorEss said:
" @Chirag4 said:
" @MysteriousBob: Then why call their products worthless crap, having never even used an iPod? "
Maybe he's used iTunes and realized that any device linked to that shit pile can't be good? Just throwin ideas out there. "
I own an iPod....but this is soooo very true 
 
In a few years your liver will have a touch screen, innovation yo
Posted by AdSapien

Wow. I wasn't expecting all the vitriol.  Oh, I'm sorry that word is too big for the average forum troll.  It means anger, MysteriousBob.

Posted by Brunchies

You'll run so slowly but you'll be good at editing if all your organs were replaced with I crap. 

Posted by Dr_Feelgood38
@SathingtonWaltz said:
" I like most of Apple's products. I think they do a good job innovating and pushing the industry in new and interesting ways. Wish they weren't so expensive though... "
I feel like Apple used to be the big innovator. Once the iPhone came out, though, they realized that they don't need to innovate anymore, they just need to patent ever single inch of hardware and line of code and turtle up. They basically produced nothing but new iterations of iPods, iPhones, and Macbooks for 3 years. Meanwhile, Microsoft is developing touch/stylus hybrid tablets and Sixth Sense and Google is innovating all over the goddamn place constantly. I love my iPod and sort of want a Macbook, but I can't just say that Apple has been innovating recently because I don't see it.
Posted by DystopiaX

dumb fanboys are dumb. The only apple product I actually like is the ipod. I include itunes with that.

Edited by mikeeegeee
@AdSapien said:
" Wow. I wasn't expecting all the vitriol.  Oh, I'm sorry that word is too big for the average forum troll.  It means anger, MysteriousBob. "
Well aren't you smug. But what Bob said isn't exactly true....
@MysteriousBob said:

" Any product that starts with a lower case "i" or "Mac" is a piece of worthless crap. "

Except they're not worthless. In fact, they're worth quite a lot. Way more than they're entitled to be worth, you might say.