Game Group Funds Military Aircraft (expanded)

By ahoodedfigure November 20, 2008 1 Comments

New Hope for the JSF Program

The United States military's new fighter jet, the F-35 Lightning II, was declared yesterday to be too expensive to mass produce, according to leading defense expert Cesar Wilhelm.  Wilhelm stated that plans to make the plane were to have been set aside or possibly scrapped altogether, due in part to the current challenges that face the military, but also due to significant budget concerns.  This news was rescinded today when a coalition of leading video game industry developers and publishers, the GIDP, announced that they were electing to privately fund the development and production of the military aircraft.

When asked as to the motives behind this unorthodox connection between the military and the entertainment industry, spokesman for the GIDP Henry Wainsack said, "In recent years the video games industry has had a boom in sales that has rivaled the film and television industries. We have had a long-standing tradition of helping the military out with their training programs, going back to Id Software's Doom being used in tactics courses, as well as numerous other projects before this.  We felt it was our duty to contribute to the economy and security of the nation we love."

When pressed, however, Mr. Wainsack admitted, "OK, some of the developers in the GIDP have a few projects that might be jeopardized should the F-35 fail to reach production.   It's a bit embarrassing to base a game like Joint Strike Fighter, which Eidos Interactive was planning to continue in a series that replicated modern conflicts, on a plane that won't exist for the foreseeable future.  With the jet back in production, Eidos will be able to continue their flight simulation series with the assurance that billions of dollars of defense spending will back up their design concept."

In a press release, Mr. Wainsack mentioned plans for upgrades in the aircraft's systems, making it easier for pilots to "have a little fun while doing their very serious work."  Sources say that the attack computer's main display will have several different skins to choose from.  Pilots will also be able to chat and compete with each other over wireless connections using customizable avatars, achievement lists, and leader boards.

When told of the GIDP's involvement, decorated combat pilot Lieutenant Gretchen Bierbaum commented, "What a load of bullshit. I have enough trouble with red rings when I'm geeking out, now I have to deal with them when I'm running sorties too?"

GIDP member Namco Bandai's lead designer Itou Goro was asked about plans to include the F-35 in the upcoming Ace Combat 7: Exciting Subtitle, but he declined to comment.

(c) Nahtkwyte News, 2008

Sources:

Reuters reports on the re-emphasis of the military, with mention of the F-35 Lightning

Wired News on Doom being used in training programs

Inspirations:

Jonathan Swift

Doyle Redland

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