So, I had a good cry in the shower.
Then a good cry watching some old videos, mostly stuff that's been linked in here.
After that, I rode my bike a few miles to the park near me, for the first time in years, and just thought, with the occasional cry.
I've been going to classes again, learning how to program. I fucking love programming, and i'm pretty good at it so far. Up until now i've been mostly thinking that i'll be happy doing whatever, whatever company needs me to program for them i'll do it.
I want to make video games. I fucking love video games, and I want to make a dumb, awesome little video game. The kind that the dumb, awesome little website called Giant Bomb showed me can be just as, if not more so, awesome as the big AAA stuff. Something that Ryan would have loved to say he played for a little while and had a blast in.
Thank you, Ryan Davis, for everything you have done and everything you are.
And now i'm crying again.