This was a bad decision.

So down the street from my dorm is this all you can eat buffet that I go to pretty frequently. Tonight was steak night, so I was stoked to head there after my physics class.
 
I usually go with the same group of guys, and we'll sometimes challenge each other to eat a ridiculous amount of something, or something looks terrible, like Buffalo Chicken Pizza with Blue Cheese and Parmesan. Most recently, one of my friends drank 4 24 oz. glasses of milk.
 
The buffet often has ridiculous desserts such as Oreo Peanut Butter Pie or Lemon Meringue Pie, and tonight was no exception. Usually my friend Andrew challenges me to eat 3 pieces of whatever the dessert is, but he always asks after I've already had a burger and some other food. I got to the buffet a few minutes late tonight, and they had already sat down and started eating by the time I had gotten my food. After taking two bites of steak, Andrew turned to me and said, "Dude, I bet you can't eat four pieces of Key Lime Cheesecake."
 
"Dude, nobody could eat four pieces of Key Lime Cheesecake." After talking him down to three, and thinking it over for about 10 seconds, I pushed aside my steak and dug into the cheesecake.
 
An excruciating 35 minutes later, the table looked like this: 

 

 Keys in the shot for size comparison (those pieces were goddamn big).

So for the past 5 hours now, I've been laying down, fighting the constant urge to throw up.
 
My question to you, Giant Bomb, is what ridiculous eating-related shenanigans have you pulled off?
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Posted by ajamafalous

So down the street from my dorm is this all you can eat buffet that I go to pretty frequently. Tonight was steak night, so I was stoked to head there after my physics class.
 
I usually go with the same group of guys, and we'll sometimes challenge each other to eat a ridiculous amount of something, or something looks terrible, like Buffalo Chicken Pizza with Blue Cheese and Parmesan. Most recently, one of my friends drank 4 24 oz. glasses of milk.
 
The buffet often has ridiculous desserts such as Oreo Peanut Butter Pie or Lemon Meringue Pie, and tonight was no exception. Usually my friend Andrew challenges me to eat 3 pieces of whatever the dessert is, but he always asks after I've already had a burger and some other food. I got to the buffet a few minutes late tonight, and they had already sat down and started eating by the time I had gotten my food. After taking two bites of steak, Andrew turned to me and said, "Dude, I bet you can't eat four pieces of Key Lime Cheesecake."
 
"Dude, nobody could eat four pieces of Key Lime Cheesecake." After talking him down to three, and thinking it over for about 10 seconds, I pushed aside my steak and dug into the cheesecake.
 
An excruciating 35 minutes later, the table looked like this: 

 

 Keys in the shot for size comparison (those pieces were goddamn big).

So for the past 5 hours now, I've been laying down, fighting the constant urge to throw up.
 
My question to you, Giant Bomb, is what ridiculous eating-related shenanigans have you pulled off?
Posted by BraveToaster

Reading this made me hungry

Posted by ApertureSilence

This makes me nauseous. 
 
Not because of how much you ate, but because I HATE Key Lime Pie.

Posted by Godlyawesomeguy

I havent had any eating shenanigans but I love key lime pie and that piece is looking brilliant to me right now.

Posted by ajamafalous
@MurderByDeath said:
" This makes me nauseous.  Not because of how much you ate, but because I HATE Key Lime Pie. "
You would have absolutely hated this, then. Compounded with the fact that I ate almost half a cheesecake was the terrible, terrible lime flavor. It almost tasted like someone poured a couple Sierra Mists into the cheesecake mix. Probably one of the most overpowering flavors I've ever been witness to.
Posted by TheLawnWrangler

i like pizza crust. to mock me, my friends purposely didn't finish their pizza crusts after we finished the two whole pizzas we ordered (there were 7 of us) I ate a majority of their crusts 
 
*twitch* that hurt so goodly

Posted by The_Laughing_Man
@ajamafalous said:
" @MurderByDeath said:
" This makes me nauseous.  Not because of how much you ate, but because I HATE Key Lime Pie. "
You would have absolutely hated this, then. Compounded with the fact that I ate almost half a cheesecake was the terrible, terrible lime flavor. It almost tasted like someone poured a couple Sierra Mists into the cheesecake mix. Probably one of the most overpowering flavors I've ever been witness to. "
ETA to self destruct? 
Posted by ApertureSilence

Speaking of shameful dining experiences, today I made a dark chocolate and Havarti cheese sandwich. It was delicious, but oh the guilt kicked in quickly!

Posted by Brendan

Become bulimic.  Models do it. 
Posted by ajamafalous
@The_Laughing_Man said:
" @ajamafalous said:
" @MurderByDeath said:
" This makes me nauseous.  Not because of how much you ate, but because I HATE Key Lime Pie. "
You would have absolutely hated this, then. Compounded with the fact that I ate almost half a cheesecake was the terrible, terrible lime flavor. It almost tasted like someone poured a couple Sierra Mists into the cheesecake mix. Probably one of the most overpowering flavors I've ever been witness to. "
ETA to self destruct?  "
Hopefully I'll be able to sleep without throwing up and choking on my own vomit (great mental image there). I think I might stay up and play a few games to take my mind off of my extreme nausea. I feel really, really sick right now.
Posted by TheHT
@ajamafalous said:
" @The_Laughing_Man said:
" @ajamafalous said:
" @MurderByDeath said:
" This makes me nauseous.  Not because of how much you ate, but because I HATE Key Lime Pie. "
You would have absolutely hated this, then. Compounded with the fact that I ate almost half a cheesecake was the terrible, terrible lime flavor. It almost tasted like someone poured a couple Sierra Mists into the cheesecake mix. Probably one of the most overpowering flavors I've ever been witness to. "
ETA to self destruct?  "
Hopefully I'll be able to sleep without throwing up and choking on my own vomit (great mental image there). I think I might stay up and play a few games to take my mind off of my extreme nausea. I feel really, really sick right now. "
I hear this game Beat Hazard is perfect for that.
Posted by Kazona

I ate a whole carrot once! How's that for shenanigans! Yea, baby, yea! 
 
...Ok.. No 

Posted by iam3green

this is making me hungry. i can't wait for next week, my parents are going on a vacation and i'll be home. im going to be eating out all week.

Posted by unclejohnny79

man i could 5 pieces of that, WITH MY EYES CLOSED

Posted by ajamafalous
@unclejohnny79 said:
" man i could 5 pieces of that, WITH MY EYES CLOSED "
I'm confident that if you did so, you wouldn't live to tell the tale.
Posted by Meteora

I wonder how many people in Africa could be fed with the amount if food you ate today.

Posted by AgentofChaos

6 crackers, 30 seconds. Its harder than you think.

Posted by ajamafalous
@AgentofChaos said:
" 6 crackers, 30 seconds. Its harder than you think. "
Are we talking saltines? I remember trying that shit once, didn't make it. Mouth gets crazy dry after about two.
Posted by thekingoftoilets

 
Well, I had this at the movies and thought my friends would have some but they didnt want any so I ate it by myself. Popcorn should never be eatin in this quantity while watching a movie. 
 



 
Posted by ApolloJ85

Milk related shenanigans are always fun. For example, how many litres of milk can you drink before you a) throw up, or b) destroy a toilet. University days were crazy good times.
I also remember eating a wheel of double brie cheese with crackers and some sausage meat. I threw up on the ride home. Lactose-based foods are terrible for eating challenges.

Posted by AgentofChaos
@ajamafalous said:
" @AgentofChaos said:
" 6 crackers, 30 seconds. Its harder than you think. "
Are we talking saltines? I remember trying that shit once, didn't make it. Mouth gets crazy dry after about two. "
Yeah saltines, I couldn't make it either. Managed to get to the last cracker and just couldn't do it.
Posted by Claude

In High School, our cafeteria would serve cooked plums from time to time. People always challenged me to eat gross stuff in the school cafeteria, so someone had remembered a guy who ate 35 of these cooked plums in middle school. Well, for the class of '83, I ate 83 of those suckers. It took me all of my lunchtime and study hall to do it, but I did it. My belly was real big the rest of the day and I peed a lot, but for that day, I felt like Cool Hand Luke.

Edited by dr_nefarious

Got really high like usual. Made myself two piece of toast with cheese on them (while eating them I told myself how much of a genius I was to make it instead of just making a grilled cheese sandwich), I then made a hot pocket, a burrito, ate 10 gram crackers, and if I remember correctly a whole tub of ice cream. I get the munchies like a bitch! After wards I felt fuckin nauseous as I could possibly be.

Posted by armaan8014

I want a coke

Posted by rjayb89

I wish I hadn't put so much Hershey syrup in this damn soy milk.

Edited by President_Barackbar

Damn, you're eating pie on an Agent Cooper from Twin Peaks level.

Posted by ahriman22

I ate 4 steaks once... I ate them within 30 minutes and an hour later I puked for 4 hours.

Posted by lead_farmer

Watched my friends have a syrup drinking contest at a Denny's after they had pancakes.  Disgusting.
Last Year for the Superbowl, made a widowmaker with some friends and ate it before the game.  Everybody felt like crap til about halftime.

Posted by ajamafalous
@Claude said:
" In High School, our cafeteria would serve cooked plums from time to time. People always challenged me to eat gross stuff in the school cafeteria, so someone had remembered a guy who ate 35 of these cooked plums in middle school. Well, for the class of '83, I ate 83 of those suckers. It took me all of my lunchtime and study hall to do it, but I did it. My belly was real big the rest of the day and I peed a lot, but for that day, I felt like Cool Hand Luke. "
Wait, you ate 83 cooked plums in one day?
Posted by The_A_Drain

Wait what? Unless those keys are fucking giant keys from giant world, I could demolish about 18 of those fuckers after a steak. 
 
I hate myself :(

Posted by HandsomeDead

As soon as I read 'all you can eat buffet', I knew what was to come would be an incredibly bad decision and I was right. Ouch.

Posted by ProfessorEss

A teaspoon of ground black pepper is pretty much impossible to eat, jsyk.

Posted by ZeroCast

Holy shit.
 
That is all.

Posted by Claude
@ajamafalous said:
" @Claude said:
" In High School, our cafeteria would serve cooked plums from time to time. People always challenged me to eat gross stuff in the school cafeteria, so someone had remembered a guy who ate 35 of these cooked plums in middle school. Well, for the class of '83, I ate 83 of those suckers. It took me all of my lunchtime and study hall to do it, but I did it. My belly was real big the rest of the day and I peed a lot, but for that day, I felt like Cool Hand Luke. "
Wait, you ate 83 cooked plums in one day? "
It took me about an hour and a half to eat them all. We counted the pits to make it legit.
Posted by MarkWahlberg

Ate a one pound burger at Fudruckers once. That was... not fun.

Posted by Whisperkill

Honestly, that doesn't look like that much. I've eaten more cheesecake than that.

Edited by The_A_Drain

The most ridiculous thing i've eaten (recently :P) was some leftovers from a BBQ. 
 
BBQ leftovers you say? Ok, can't be that bad. But I cooked all this stuff of as it was approaching the use-by date, and not until I piled it all onto 2 plates did I realise just how fucking much there was. It all looked so much smaller before. 
 
4 racks of ribs. 2 pepperred steaks. 3 burgers, a couple of buns, and like, 7 or 8 skewered chicken, things. Damn I thought I was gonna die. Oh and some leftover hot dogs too.

Posted by iBePeRFeCT

Yeah I did the 6 crackers in 30 seconds thing once also.  We had a competition at work one day while we were on lunch.  Out of  8 of us only I managed it. Had my lunch paid for the next week.  One guy ate all 6 but it took him 32 seconds.

Posted by ajamafalous
@The_A_Drain said:
" Wait what? Unless those keys are fucking giant keys from giant world, I could demolish about 18 of those fuckers after a steak.  I hate myself :( "
Just measured the keys, 3 inches. So the cheesecake was probably 8-9 inches long.
Posted by aurahack

This is like, the best blog post I've ever read on Giant Bomb.

Posted by The_A_Drain
@ajamafalous said:
" @The_A_Drain said:
" Wait what? Unless those keys are fucking giant keys from giant world, I could demolish about 18 of those fuckers after a steak.  I hate myself :( "
Just measured the keys, 3 inches. So the cheesecake was probably 8-9 inches long. "
Dayum those are giant keys from giant land :O  
 
They looked like the tiny keys I have for my shed which are like half inch long. Still, I reckon I could take on 6 or 7 of those.
Posted by ajamafalous
@MarkWahlberg said:
" Ate a one pound burger at Fudruckers once. That was... not fun. "
Man, I ate a 2/3 lb burger from Fudruckers once, and even that wasn't easy. I can't imagine an entire pound from there.
Posted by CL60

Maybe, I'm just used to eating a lot? But that piece doesn't look very big to me.

Posted by Subjugation
@ahriman22 said:
" I ate 4 steaks once... I ate them within 30 minutes and an hour later I puked for 4 hours. "
I lol'd IRL. Thank you for that, good sir.
Posted by Rothbart

Dude, free food!

Posted by ajamafalous
@Rothbart said:
" Dude, free food! "
That certainly contributed to me eating an unhealthy amount of it.
Posted by insane_shadowblade85

Dude, you made no mistake lol 
 
If you plan to sleep then just lie down on your side. I usually sleep on my side to avoid sleep paralysis (Paranoia. Don't like it when I've had it) but, I usually avoid sleeping if I'm that stuffed. I usually wait 4 or 5 hours, depending on how late it is and if I need to be anywhere the next day before I go to bed.
Posted by crusader8463

You are a light weight.

Posted by rjayb89

I have some pie in the fridge right now, but it's lemon meringue pie.  Lemon meringue pie sucks.  I am also hungry.  Tough times.

Posted by Shirogane

Dude, Cheesecake! 
 
But er, yeah, lime, not so sure about that. Any other cheesecake i could probably eat a lot, if not a whole one, but lime cheesecake just isn't great.
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