I've contemplated the implications as to why I find Dota so addicting that I come back to it like an abused spouse over and over. There's the obvious harmful truths, like the fact you don't have control over the other 9 players on your team, so queuing for a game feels like rolling a 100-sided die. There's the things that have become fact for me, like queuing for a ranked match is akin to deleting an hour or three from my day, because if you lose there's no way you'll stop playing, and if you win there's no way you'll stop trying to win. And there's a lot of relationships I've made a hell of a lot more complicated for the fact that I play Dota.
And then there's the troubling reality behind why you keep playing. That its dopamine drip of leveling up, getting powerful, and crushing your opponents makes it so easy to forget about all the troubles of the day, because Dota is such a troubling experience by itself that it becomes all-consuming. Because the investment is too great, and even though you knew from the outset that the returns would be nothing, you keep trying because to stop now would end a veritable chapter of your life.
but then, those rare occasions where you band together with friends or strangers and work with such synchronicity to overcome such overwhelming odds that it leaves you smiling like an idiot. When you and a friend connect on a level that wouldn't be accessible otherwise. When mechanics clash and wielding that mountain of knowledge accrued over years of dedication to discern the truth and make the right move feels so good. It's like a painter making a right stroke on a canvas, the one that ties it all together, and it suddenly affirms all your hard work. It's the very definition of the recently minted phrase (bestowed on the absolute wrong game) "hobby-grade game". It's something that, despite being a very hard thing to do, and despite having more bad moments than good, still feels worth doing.
I feel like that nagging question of what else could I be doing with my life is answered within that. I could be painting in the garage, or joining a local team, or maybe try my hand at woodworking, but while these things are closer to the broadly held conception of something "worthwhile", it's a brave new world with new ways of spending your life. I think most people who play video-games can relate to that idea. I'm sure virtually every person in this forum has at least one experience of someone disliking their love of games, and trying to hold their love of some other thing as morally superior. At the end of the day, we all just want to find something fulfilling. Dota may be a perfect artifice crafted to make me think I'm being fulfilled, but even then I can't help but admire the craftsmanship.
There is absolutely a dark-side to it that most other hobbies don't come attached with. You subject yourself to the potential awfulness and negativity of internet strangers virtually every time you click the play button. But there are still plenty of good, friendly people in the game who resist being overwhelmed by the negative attitude surrounding the game. I'll admit I'm not always one of those people, but then I just put the game down, leave it for a month or two, and then when the itch comes back I play with a friend or two who I know I can count on to have a good time with.
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