That's right, 10 months. Damn video output gave out. Off to Microsoft it goes. Right before Left 4 Dead, too.

Is it just me, or does this look like it could be pretty solid?

I was clearing some stuff off an old flash drive today, and found this little gem. It was originally posted on GS by MaypoMan (known then as zelda450), who I hang out with in real life, and was subsequently pulled for reasons involving a retarded little brother. I archived it for future enjoyment. It came out weird because of the old GS formatting, but it's readable. Enjoy.

Hey everybody

I wish that I was able to tell you that the above blog title was a joke, but unfortunately I cannot lie about something as serious as pantaloons. Now maybe you're saying to yourself, "wtf zelda, just when you think you know somebody, they go off and make a panta-blog (that is, a blog about pantaloons) please explain your impeccable taste when it comes to blog subjects" Well, to put it shortly, no. (Please note, this blog really is about pantaloons, so if you still think I'm joking and maybe pantaloons don't exactly tickle your fancy, then by no means should you be reading this)

Before we begin, we need to realize something: pantaloons is a damn funny word. So funny a word, in fact, that the world becomes a better place when we incorporate pantaloons into our daily dialogue. Don't believe me? Try this. Next time you have a day that you're pretty sure is gonna suck (maybe you have a test, tons of crap to do at the job, your dog ate your pants, whatever) go through that entire day using only the word "pantaloon" and maybe some modifying words just to spice things up a bit. BOSS: You know Hubert (if that's not your name, it is now dammit!) you really do suck. Why don't you just leave? YOU (aka Hubert): BECAUSE BOSS! I'M WEARING PANTALOONS!" In fact, use it on days that don't suck as well. Any day will work. Just make sure you throw the word around in your daily conversations: *RING RING* "Hello?" Grandma: "Oh hi Elrod (that's your new middle name) Is your mother home? I'd like to talk to her please.""PANTALOONS GRANDMA!! PANTALOOOOONS!!!!!" See? Doesn't that sound like the best day ever? (Just say yes) Exactly. Remember that next time you answer the phone.

Maybe the above advice just doesn't satisfy your craving for pantaloons. You just can't get enough of your pantaloons. That's why I recommend doing this: Next time you drive down a street, read a book, or go to a store, see how many signs/phrases/names you can insert the word "pantaloons" in to make them better. Here's some examples to get you started:

Pantaloon colony

Pantaloons of pure ecstasy

Dunkin' Pantaloons

Kentucky Fried Pantaloons

Wholesale Pantaloons

Chuck's Discount Pantaloons and Mufflers

God of Pantaloons/Pantaloons of War

Bed Bath & Pantaloons

Pantaloon Troopers

Illicit pantaloons

Pantaloon Outfitter

Bionic Pantaloons

Pantaloon convoy

Pantaloon committee

Pantaloon caravan

Sweet pantaloon lovin'

Limited edition bronzed pantaloons

Valley of the pantaloons

Department of Pantaloon

UPS-United Pantaloon Service

Fort Pantaloon

"PANTALOONS EQUIPPED!" "+1 PANTS!!"

And for any WoW fans out there:

Pontiff's Pantaloons of Prophecy

Pantaloons of Flaming Wrath

Pantaloons of Repentance

(For added fun, google one of the above terms and see what comes up)

From that delightful little list, we transition smoothly into the next section of this blog. Acually, no, your brain is probably overloaded right now, so we'll take a brief intermission:

Soaked up that image yet? No? Good. Because albedos_shadow and I are such interesting people(... ) we have some pretty interesting conversations. Because we're cool, we actually have a notebook where we write down the most off the wall quotes from these delightful conversations. These all actually came up in our conversation at some time or another (NO, I will NOT provide context for these... unless you ask)

"Look at him go to town on those carrots."

"Be here on January."

"Tears of rape" (don't yell at me, yell at albedos_shadow)

"Dammit, there's cheese everywhere!!!"

"JJ, shut up and eat your @$$ dog!"

"Monkey Blvd."

"The Mullet Squad"

"There was something about a goat and a pickle but I don't remember."

"They have a cow-beating stick."

"The pod was cuboidal in nature."

"Forget what you know about tortillas."

"Now let's say I don't want to buy almonds from him. Then what do I do? I'm screwed."

"Universal monkey beat"

"The line ends at goats"

"Hot for carpets"

"How does a fish acquire crack anyways?"

"I'll show you ecstasy, boy."

"The llamas are having *** and they're like "ARUARUARARURUUUGGGHHHHAA" (albedos_shadow was watching a video on Break, and was describing it to me, not realizing that he was shouting it to the WHOLE DANG SCHOOL...)

"Itchy the Wonder Caveman"

"It's not just gonna be about pants an' such."

Just to let you know what's up with this blog, I was talking to Wootex on XBL, and I told him how I was going to post a pretty weird blog on GS. Being the sly bastard he is, he took that as a challenge and said his blog would be even goofier. I wrote this out before I talked to him though, so believe me, I didn't try to force the wierdness out, it just came naturally.

Before I wrap this up, I ask, no I DEMAND THAT YOU WATCH THIS VIDEO. It is my absolute favorite video of all time, it's absolutely amazingly hilarious. It starts off a bit slow (only about 30 seconds) and has some profanity (written, not spoken) but it is a soopoyb video. Really, you need to watch it. Here, I'll even link it again for you. CLICK HERE NOW. You're really doing yourself a favor by watching that.

Thanks for reading, (I really doubt you read through all that but hey, it's the thought that counts, right?) I promise an actual blog soon.

Also, isn't it amazing that vikingwwucan write about all this deep-thought video game stuff, like what makes us play games and why certain games are what they are, and then good ol' zelda450 comes along and blogs about gol-damned pants. God Bless America.

PEACE OUT EVERYBODY

-zelda450

By the way, if you have any of your own pantaloon suggestions, always feel free to drop me a PM or a comment about it.

I'm playing Far Cry 2 now, but it will soon be totally eclipsed by Fallout 3, Guitar Hero: World Tour, and Gears 2. Soin other words, I'm screwed.

Gamefly just randomly changed my queue. They're sending me Dead Space now. Wow, that was scary.

They sent me Rock Revolution ahead of Dead Space AND SOCOM. So yeah.

• It's pretty much Call of Duty 4. I'll get that out of the way right now.
• I really like War mode. I'm not sure if it was in any of the old CoD games, but it's basically Domination with only one flag able to be captured at a time. This makes the fighting for the flag much more intense and focused in one area than before.
• Dogs, which take the place of helicopters, are both awesome and annoying, depending on which side of their attack you're on. In tight quarters maps, it's awesome to see this swarm of Dobermans rush in and start killing dudes.
• There is no reason to use any other weapon than the Thompson. None.