@samuraigarrin: Done and done!
Alex's forum posts
@cooljammer00: Until we hire Patrick's replacement, I think I'm your everything video game news guy for the time being.
@corwag: For whatever it's worth, I didn't take your comments as some kind of negative push to try and get me off the site or anything. I understand why this would be a likely reaction to the knowledge that I have these kinds of issues, though I would challenge you by saying it's not nearly as simple as you make it out to be.
I started my career pretty young. I joined GS when I was 21, and by that point in my life I didn't even really understand anything about depression, anxiety, or ADHD (all stuff I've been diagnosed with at later stages of my life). I got into video games at a time when video coverage was just starting to become more integral to how video games are talked about on the internet. I embraced that aspect of the job, even though I mostly came to the gig with a desire to write criticism. I never got especially comfortable doing the on-camera stuff, but I recognized the importance of it and tried to roll with the punches as best I could.
When coming back to Giant Bomb, I obviously knew that video would likely become a part of the job. Obviously it wasn't so much when I was working solo in NYC, but since Vinny's been back I've tried to do the same thing, even knowing that a lot of the issues I have tend to get triggered when I have to present myself in front of a camera. In a perfect world, I'd be able to just sit behind a keyboard for the rest of my life and never have to put my face in front of anything, ever, but that's not realistic for the career I've found myself in, that I've spent the better part of a decade building. To suggest that I'd be happier in another situation where I don't have to do these things might be true, but that disregards the fact that there aren't necessarily a lot of opportunities in this line of work out there that allow for that. If I were to abandon these aspects of the job, I wouldn't be able to do my job as effectively.
And while twitter is sometimes a lousy place for discussion, I've generally found it to be a good outlet to express whatever it is that's on my mind. I have had, as you described, the occasional meltdown, but by and large I find it to be a useful tool, even a fun one at times.
Maybe one day I'll agree with you and pursue that career in long-haul trucking I've always talked about. But I'm not there yet.
^ Someone gets it. Can you honestly say you had no idea he was suffering from these issues? He had several public melt downs on twitter, and whenever he is on camera it's so obvious he isn't comfortable that it gives me anxiety.
Before I get more "Ugh, you're not blindly praising him" remarks, all I originally was saying was that maybe he would be happier and at peace just being a writer and cutting out the "on camera/twitter" aspect of his career.
Just wanted to say I've read through and very much appreciate this thread. When I blurted all that stuff out yesterday I honestly didn't think anyone would even take much note of it, but it's incredibly sweet of all of you to say such nice things about me and share what you've shared about your own personal struggles. Y'all are the fuckin' best, and as much as I like to moan about this, that, or whatever, I thank my lucky stars this community is so supportive.