Signing out.

Hey, everyone who came by my page.

I won't be on the forums for a while. I don't know if I've built up a reputation or have become as notable as Sentry to the point that when I stop posting on here for long periods of time, you'll wonder what the hell happened, but I figure I'd best go the safe route and tell you. Here. In my blog. My only refuge.

I won't be on for a while. Events outside of my control with this site are pushing me away. I've made enemies of too many people, and I can't help but feel as though most of my time on this site is now spent saying things I shouldn't need to say . . . stuff like why I enjoy the Wii or why I'm loking forward to The Conduit. It all ends in trolling for some reason, and I can't keep myself level when the bullshit starts flowing.

Giant Bomb is going through growing pains. There are a lot of fanboys and trolls lurking around of late, and it's really getting me down. Everything is a flamewar nowadays. I've been the target, a member of the flamers, and I figure that a break will do me wonders. Plus, I have Calculus starting Thursday, so that will take a lot of my time.

See you all around someday, when I come back. Have fun playing games, and remember to do just that. Play. The Game. Don't get too wound up over it, like I have, as have others.

I've found the best video on the internet.

I'm taking a break from my regularly-scheduled game-related blog to bring you something else. Something funnier.

Just now, I was sifting through Youtube videos when I came across something so funny, so absolutely hysterical that I peed myself a little while watching it. It's this kind of video that makes me realize that life will be alright, that we'll wake up in the morning and live long lives, and that we have to stop and savor the little moments of natural brilliance that befall us and others.

Here it is. Trust me, if you watch this, you will laugh.



Top (or bottom) 10 Worst Songs on Rock Band 1 & 2

Okay, I'm taking a break from the Wii love for a blog. Don't worry, I'll comment more on that subject at a later time. This has to be done.

Looking back on the Rock Band games, they've had some excellent choices for songs. The first made such epic choices as Won't Get Fooled Again, Tom Sawyer, Don't Fear The Reaper, Highway Star, Cherub Rock, etc. The early songs were fun, too, especially Should I Stay or Should I Go and In Bloom. When I opened up Rock Band 2, I got similar stuff, like Man in the Box, You Oughta Know, The Trees, Ace of Spades, all the good stuff. However, there have been some major blemishes on the list that I have to cover. There are three rules to the list: It has to be a disc song, and it can't be a bonus song. Okay, here goes . . .

Oh, though I couldn't find room on the list, Run To The Hills kina sucked. Yeah, I know OMG TEH MEATL HAET!!! Save it. It's not fun for drums or bass. It's just tiring.

10. The ABYSMAL cover of Tom Sawyer - Some Random Band

Yeah, I know I was just talking about how Tom Sawyer was a great choice for Rock Band. It is. I know that now, after paying to hear the original version. From the cover, though, all I could say is, "Who the Hell is this dildo failing miserably at a Geddy Lee impression!?!" The instruments are fine for the most part, except the end. They had the balls to put a Big Rock Finish at the end, and all it consists of is stock pentatonic shredding! Rush doesn't do that. They made this song was a chore to play, even tough it's a classic.

9. So What'cha Want - Beastie Boys

Sabotage really grew on me in Rock Band 1. It ended being a song that I enjoyed doing all parts for. On the contrary, I can't enjoy anything in So What'cha Want except for vocals. The song is much more standard than Sabotage, and is therefore incredibly repetitive, especially on the drums. Beastie Boys aren't my favorite band, nor are they my least favorie, but I rue playing this song.

8. Rebel Girl - Bikini Kill

This song is just plain annoying. None of the parts are particularly fun to play, and the lyrics are about as bad as girl punk will get. Grating, and with a lack of drive or meaning, it fails at being a fun song due to its slow, brooding pace and isn't a good song because of how lame it all is. Tsk tsk, random ass punk band.

7. Painkiller - Judas Priest

I used to be a pretty big Priest fan. Their stuff was fun to listen to, and their riff-heavy, dual lead style made them unique. So, why are they on here? Well, Painkiller came out in 1990. There are sooo many better Judas Priest songs for a Rock Band game. They could do Freewheel Burning, Breaking the Law, Hell Bent For Leather, the list goes on. Instead, they pick a song from an album from a year when 80's metal was dead. Painkiller came out in the same year as Badmotorfinger by Soundgarden and Nevermind by Nirvana. It was obscure at that point. Painkiller may be kinda fun, but when you think of the songs they could have chosen, it becomes frustrating.

6. Dead on Arrival - Fall Out Boy

Okay, let me go back to when I first heard this song, before I had really heard much of Fall Out Boy. The name scrolled up, and the note chart started coming. Within 15 seconds, we had failed. It took my family a while to beat this song, and a lot of songs in the game are like that (My favorite guitar part in either game, Flirtin' With Disaster, kicked my ass more times than I can count), but just because it kicked my ass doesn't make it good or fun. It's just exhausting. The guitar is stuck permanently in chordland, the bass is stuck permanently in "Hey-follow-that-guitarist" mode, and the drums are just mindless. When I eventually beat this song on expert, which I have with all parts, I never looked back. It's a frustrating mess.

5. Panic Attack - Dream Theater

I used to kinda like Dream Theater. Then again, I was impressionable. Here's a band that said, "Hey check this out we're not mainstream and we all have college degrees in music and our bassist is Asian HEY YOU WATCH US SHRED OMG!!!", and I bought into it for a while. Then, It kinda hit me while I was playing this song. These guys don't reakky know that they're writing a song. The bassist is pretty good, and he holds down the song pretty well, and the singer has some interesting words to say in an interesting way, but the guitarist and drummer are literally just wanking off their instruments for the entire song. It may not be terrible, but it's not fun. Not in the slightest. I see this song as being one like Dead On Arrival. Once I beat it, I'll be happy never playing it again. That's not the kind of song you want in a rhythm game.

4. Welcome Home - Coheed And Cambria

Believe it or not, I love progressive rock. Rush? Yes? King Crimson? Jethro Tull? Bread and butter to me. Since these bands had their heyday, multiple acts have acted to alienate me from the genre. Before I go on, I will say that in no way, shape or form is Tool one of those bands. Dream Theater is, tough, and, to a greater extent, so is Coheed and Cambria. Welcome Home is an example of a song that tries so goddamn hard to be epic, yet fails because it's trying so hard. It's like when a guy gets obsessive over a girl and tries to do anything to win her affection. That's Welcome Home. For a good 6 minutes, probably more, I'm treated to every epic riff ever written, ending with Gregorian Chant. COME ON!!!! It doesn't help that I have had to play this innumerable times online.

3. Green Grass and High Tides - The Outlaws

This is probably the prime example of a song that has no place in Rock Band. The singer has vocals for probably 1/8 of the song, it's too long, and the guitar solos are impossible. I've yet to beat this song on expert for guitar. I've simply never had fun with this song. IT's also really obscure. I've never met someone that knew this song prior to this game. Few vocals, balls hard, obscure? Why is this on Rock Band?

2. A Jagged Gorgeous Winter - The Main Drag

WHY IS THIS SONG ON HERE!?! Better yet, WHY DOES THIS SONG EXIST!?! I mean, seriously, as if my perception of Indie Rock wasn't bad enough. It's just a mess. The instruments feel completely random and have no correlation with one another, the lyrics are retarded "NIGHTS FILLED WITH LONGER HOURS OMG", and it just isn't fun. The best part is that the writer of that song probably feels like a genius. This song fails, anyone who likes this song fails, let's move on to #1.

1. Visions - Abnormality

Any list of this type without this as the top is completely bullshit. All I can really say is that you dickheads HAD to ask for more metal. Well, LOOK WHAT YOU GOT INTO MY ROCK BAND!?! This song is probably the worst I've ever heard. Worse than Paramore, Fall Out Boy, anyone else. I blame all you metalheads with your incessant bitching. KEEP YOUR SHITTY MUSIC OUTTA MY ROCK BAND!!!!

Well, that's enough of that. See ya around. Also, again, screw you metalheads.

The Wii - It's becoming vastly underrated (P. 2)

    So, yeah. Notice how on my first blog it said (P. 1)? That was there for a reason.

    In my first little delve into the Wii's library, I came across something that I haven't realized yet. It came from the arguments that ensued afterwards, which there were plenty. I was looking at the consoles library, wondering how if there's such a mass amount of games for the thing, so many gaming enthusiasts find the library to have no games, or no good games. It was here that I made a startling discovery, which stems from the way we brand games. You have platformers, adventure games, action adventure games, shooting games, puzzle games, sports games, racing games, RPGs, RTS's, Rhythm games, blah blah blah blah. There's a lot of genres out there, some of which I refuse to include in this page. I realzed that the function of these games is not exclusive to each genre, but that there are two groups. Here they are:
Traditional Games That We PlayA New, Unknown Function
 Platformers Sports
 Adventure Puzzle
 Action Adventure Racing
 Shooting  Rhythm
 RPG's Party Games
 RTS (depends on play style) "Games"

I give credit to LiquidPrince for helping me forn the second category, albeit against his will and with him completely oblivious. It's when he said that Warioware isn't a game, but a "game", or something. This new, unknown function of games is not at all new, but it has been unknown for a while just because there hasn't been a situation until now that has called for its classification. The best way to prove this new function is through a diagram, made in Microsoft Paint:

Behold, the Middle Game!
    This diagram displays the "Middle Game", as I call it. It's very simple, and I'm sure you've all done it. After beating Fallout 3, you may want to take it easy before playing through Gears of War, so you play a little Rock Band to cool off. That is the casual game's purpose to us; as a middle game. The issue is that you generally need fewer middle games than main, or "epic," games, because middle games have more staying power. In fact, a game can be both an "epic" game and a middle game. So, the Wii's problem? It has far too many middle games to count, and most of them suck ass.
    That said, there are games in this genre that are worthwhile. Things like WarioWare come to mind, as does Smash Bros. It's not all first party, though. Take a look at Boom Blox for an example. Up until now, though, the vast majority of these titles has been crap. That's changing, as companies like EA and Ubisoft are stepping up their efforts and finally delivering quality games for the casual gamer, and, as such, are giving good middle games for Wii owners to play. This is why people call the Wii a secondary gaming system.
    When taken in this light, the Wii's library becomes less of a lost cause and more of a late bloomer, because large companies have never had to invest a lot of time and money into their casual products, their middle games. It's happening now, though, and more news is shed on it every day. EA recently announced a new tennis IP for the Wii that will use Motion+. You know that they're investing a top team to make that happen. Ubisoft, on the other hand, has proven themselves with Shaun White by making it a completely different game specifically for Wii owners. They will continue into 2009 with releases like Tenchu and Red Steel 2, which will also use Motion+. A good game takes 2 years or more to make really good. People expected the Wii to be like the Dreamcast. It wasn't until 2007 that it started to take off that people realized that it had serious profit potential.

    2007+2 Years for Development=2009

It's for reasons like that that I say that 2009 will be the year of the Wii. Even if Sony attaches a peripheral that allows you to have sex with your PS3, and eventually gets the title for reigning console that year, the Wii will undoubtedly have had a powerhouse year.
    2009 is shaping up to be the year when the Wii becomes what people wanted it to be in the first place. A little late, sure, but I never said it will be the best console ever. I said it's becoming underrated. The Wii is getting 1:1 motion technology, a storage solution, and a mass amount of "epic" games, shown here. (Warning: This link goes to the Gamespot forums. Gotta love Haziqonfire). Microsoft and Sony don't have much like that. Sure, they will have games released, but in terms of improvement in the games, the console, and everything related, the Wii is going to blow your faces away.
    That's about all I can say on the subject as of now. Some other time, I'll talk about some of the things I mentioned in the final paragraphs, as well as Nintendo's online status.

The Wii - it's becoming vastly underrated. (P. 1)

    Many people see broken promises in the Wii. When they were promised 1:1, they got waggle. When they were promised cutting edge, they got Gamecube+. When they were promised full online support, they got friend codes. People see the misstep after misstep on Nintendo's behalf, and they call the Wii "not a console", "a toy" or "a 250 dollar dust collector." Harsh words when spoken by some. I won't even try to deny that the current control system on Wii is more precise than a dual joystick pad, nor will I deny that the Wii's technical prowess is that of a gamecube with better lighting effects. I also won't deny that the online system on the Wii needs an overhaul. However, people's hate for the system may leave it as not only the most underrated console of the generation, but the most underrated console ever.

    Now, after you start typing your hateful comments calling me a "stupid moron" . . . pause22, I see you there . . . hear me out.
    The Wii was meant to be a revolution. It was called the Revolution. Was it? Well, a year in, people said that it not only wasn't a revolution, but it was a massive step back for games. With waggle lacking the exacting response of a button-press, and the IR cursor's tendency to jump about unless you are of appropriate distance being less relative than the joystick, it was easy to see why. Games like Smash Bros. and Mario Kart ended up being easier with a joypad to most of us, which we all saw is counterintuitive to the concept of a motion controller, which was making it easier to play. When you add on the relentless assault of subpar party games, including Carnival Games, Game Party and the dreaded barrage of Ubisoft shovelware, some of which were selling damn well, while other, more original games such as Zack and Wiki: Quest for Barbaros's Treasure were floundering on the sales boards, it's easy to see how the longtime gamer, the gaming enthusiast, the educated gamer, would be angry at the consumers of the Wii. It was ruining it for the good developers and the gamers who had followed the gaming world since they had to blow into the systems to get it to run a game, a game that they played with no joysticks.
    The gaming enthusiast looked at the "revolution" as a "clusterfuck" of "epic" "proportions." What they didn't see was that the revolution was underground. It was invisible, creeping up on us. Until now, that is.
    When you think of the standout games on the Xbox 360 or PS3, what do you think of? Well, on the 360, I think of games like Halo, Gears of War, Too Human, BWAHAHAHAHAHA . . . sorry, couldn't resist . . . Mass Effect, etc. On the PS3, I'd think of Uncharted, MGS4, Resistance, LittleBigPlanet. Notice something about those? Of all those games, only one isn't trying in some way to create a realistic vision of a world. By that, I mean all but LittleBigPlanet are keeping themselves more grounded in reality than fantasy. I mean, sorry to go back to a joke, but Too Human toom the world of Norse Mythology and made it into some kind of corporation! Of course, not all the games for the systems go for that, but most do, and almost all the notable ones do. The Wii? I think of Galaxy, Brawl, Metroid Prime 3, No More Heroes, de Blob, Zack and Wiki. Now, of those you have three that involve humans, and one that recreates them in a realistic manner, being Metroid Prime 3. Galaxy and Brawl are both much more focused on a cartoon-like element, but we should exclude those because they were already established. Of the three most notable titles that have made their full debut on Wii, one has humans, one has blobs, and one has animals that talk like humans. Even No More Heroes, which has humans, is so outrageously over the top that it can barely be called "grounded in reality."
    What am I getting at? It's simple; the Wii is not a competitor for the Xbox or the PS3. It is in a whole new league. Games on the HD consoles are considered fresh if they have crisper graphics. Look at Halo 3. It changed very little, but people played the shit out of it. Why? It looked nicer. I can't think of another reason. The Wii, or more specifically, the Wii in 2008, has proven itself to be about something different. Gone is the familiar. What we are stuck with is the visually radical, the aesthetically fresh. I don't even need to explain how important this game is to my argument. Also, have you noticed how the 360 and PS3 are referred to as the "HD consoles" much more than they are the "Traditional pad consoles"? It may be quicker, but there's something else to it.
    Visually, the Wii has refused the confines presented by the modern tech spec races, and has created some of the most aesthetically unique games of the generation.

    That's all I can say for now. I'll talk more of my mind later.

Missed Opportunities.

I start this with a video. If you don't watch the entire thing, which I recommend you do because It's awesome, at least start the video around 3:00. It's important.


    Talented band, huh? The drummer's name is Peter Erskine, one of the true greats. He's a legend. Also, he was at my school last year, and I had no idea. You see, my school has a very talented band program, but has an especially good jazz program. We've taken awards from places on a state and national scale, I think. I haven't been a part of it until just this year, even though I've wanted to be a part of it my entire high school life. If I had joined last year, I would have been able to meet a legend. I would have been able to meet history. Sadly, I did not. I see this as an incredible missed opportunity. Looking back, I see that I've had many.
    The latest I can remember is my exclusion from the band programs in my district at an early age. I've become a dedicated musician, but I feel it may be too late. Of course, I cannot take full responsibility for not joining the band program. My family has never been wealthy, and a cheap brass or woodwind instrument will set you back immeasurably when you look at it from that perspective. My family isn't necessarily about granting favors with those kinds of things, evidenced by me having no money saved for college. I see some of the things that the band students can accomplish, and it amazes me how far they've come. I like to think of myself as a decent musician at the very least, but I know I could have been so much better with more training under my belt.
    Music is a good anchor as well, which is something I could have used in my middle school days. I never felt dedicated to anything back then. My schoolwork suffered. I could feel my mind deteriorating. Many people don't acknowledge this as happening to them, but it does. Inability to form rational argument, short attention span. It all started to hit me like a wave around this time. The only thing I dedicated myself to was World of Warcraft, which I regret even more. Of all the time I put into that fucking game,  so much of it was completely wasted, if not all of it. I could have been doing schoolwork; I didn't. I could have been making music; I wasn't. I could have been improving myself, my surrounding, and the days of people around me; instead, I was selfish. I was apathetic. I was stupid.
    High school has been both a depressing venture as well as a rewarding one. Upon entering, I was a cocky moron who fancied himself superior to the rest due to some undeserved natural intelligence that should have been given to someone that worked harder. I lost friends and the respect of my peers and my teachers for my hotheadedness and cocky behavior in class. I look back on him and hate him. Throughout it all, I've never felt any sort of legitimate companionship with anyone. I've kept myself distant from my friends, from girls, from teachers. In fact, I could go on for a few more pages about my missed opportunities as far as women goes. I choose not to for my own sanity. I take some small amount of pride in the fact that I'm not as I was. At the same time, only I can be held accountable for him. I wish I could forget him, but I never will.
    I sometimes feel as though my life has been a missed opportunity. My life has been a collection of failures and disappointments, some larger than others. Despite putting me in a somewhat melancholy mood, I'm glad I've done things like this. Looking back and correcting myself has become my sole strength at this point in my life. Eventually, I can hope that it makes me into a good person. I'm not there yet. I'm still completely flawed, but I can say that I'm better off than I once was. I know that I have to grasp chances as they come, as should all of you. My life has become a lesson to me more than anything. I can only hope to help others with what I have learned from it. Of course, a video game forum may not be the place.
    Anyways, always respect those around you, and take a look at yourself from time to time to make sure you are who you feel you should be. If you don't you'll blink and find yourself in a hole. Thanks for reading, boring as it probably was.

Watch out, fellas! We are becoming DICKS!!!

It just hit me.

Giant Bomb is slowly becoming a site made up of dicks. Now, sure, people on Giant Bomb should be able to make dick-like comments at one another in the spirit of good fun, as well as keeping people in a seat of humility. It wasn't until recently, however, that this process has made us into . . . GIANT DICKS.

I know, I'm scared as well.

You see, many people here have gotten comfortable with the dishing out of the dickness, but they can't take it, much like the large black man in prison. This is unfortunate, because Giant Bomb had such a good start. Over time, you can see the positivity just drain from the attitude of the posters, leaving in its wake pointless, unconstructed bickering. And then there's people that always argue with EVERYTHING. Like me, but that's beside the point. I have the right to do it because I recognize I'm doing it. Bitch, no?

So, in short, I'd ask all of you to follow these guides to a stronger bomb:
  1. Put people in line when they are acting like a dick.
  2. Don't put so many people that are acting like dicks in line that you become an arrogant dick yourself.
  4. Respect one another's tastes from the beginning of the thread. It seems like it's always 100 posts in, when people don't have anything left to say, after they've completely made the other person feel like shit, that they say: WELL IT IS UR OPINON. Of course it is. Little quicker, fellas.
  5. Don't be a fanboy. EVER. If you are, you are already part-dick.
  6. Don't jump on a bandwagon for the sake of fitting in. If you're gonna neg Levio, make sure it's justified (i.e. he's talking about Soulja Boy).
  7. Don't be a troll. The mods don't like it.
  8. If you say "First.", prepare to be throttled.
  9. Always look at the other person's view, if only to tell them how much it sucks. At least you looked.
  10. Have unconditional respect for Jeff, Brad's voice and Luchadeer. The mods . . . they have to earn it
Follow these rules, and we can help circumvent the dick epidemic, or "epidemdick", if you will, and help make Giant Bomb super totally awesome.

All right, maybe I was wrong.

I'll admit it, because I'm trying to do more of that nowadays. I've said a lot of things in the past about a certain subject, and many of these things I will stand by. Recent events, however, have led me to change my overall engrossing view of the topic.

Maybe, every once in a while, a game can be art.

I completely stand by the fact that people throw that statement around in the purpose of self-importance much more than they should. I stand by the fact that a game is a less accessible form of art due to its high development costs. I stand by the fact that there are an incredible amount of games tagged "art" for the hell of it. This was all before I played World of Goo.

World of Goo made me feel really weird. It was right around the end of the game, where I felt this really strange feeling in my chest. It was really weird, and I couldn't understand it quite at first. It hit me right when the final scene ended and it took me back to the menu, that so much of this game meant something. All of the levels that led up to the final scene in chapter two, everything involving the female mass goo balls being ripped to shreds, the MOM program on the computer, the World of Goo corporation, the sign painter's advice . . . I looked back on it all and it gave off this really brilliant, beautiful vibe. It's so rare that a game can succeed at making you feel an emotional connection to someone, but this game managed to make you connect with a bunch of goo. It combined itself with the dark, dreary visual presentation and the varied, brilliant music to make me feel both happy and sad at the same time, almost the way a mother would feel when her son leaves for college or something.

It's not often that I'll talk about a game like this because it's not often that a game like this will come out. Simply put, everyone should play this game, if not for the story, then for the brilliance in the core mechanics, and FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK, IF YOU PIRATE IT OR HAVE PIRATED IT, YOU ARE A COCKROACH.

Thank you.