Okay, I'm taking a break from the Wii love for a blog. Don't worry, I'll comment more on that subject at a later time. This has to be done.
Looking back on the Rock Band games, they've had some excellent choices for songs. The first made such epic choices as Won't Get Fooled Again, Tom Sawyer, Don't Fear The Reaper, Highway Star, Cherub Rock, etc. The early songs were fun, too, especially Should I Stay or Should I Go and In Bloom. When I opened up Rock Band 2, I got similar stuff, like Man in the Box, You Oughta Know, The Trees, Ace of Spades, all the good stuff. However, there have been some major blemishes on the list that I have to cover. There are three rules to the list: It has to be a disc song, and it can't be a bonus song. Okay, here goes . . .
Oh, though I couldn't find room on the list, Run To The Hills kina sucked. Yeah, I know OMG TEH MEATL HAET!!! Save it. It's not fun for drums or bass. It's just tiring.
10. The ABYSMAL cover of Tom Sawyer - Some Random Band
Yeah, I know I was just talking about how Tom Sawyer was a great choice for Rock Band. It is. I know that now, after paying to hear the original version. From the cover, though, all I could say is, "Who the Hell is this dildo failing miserably at a Geddy Lee impression!?!" The instruments are fine for the most part, except the end. They had the balls to put a Big Rock Finish at the end, and all it consists of is stock pentatonic shredding! Rush doesn't do that. They made this song was a chore to play, even tough it's a classic.
9. So What'cha Want - Beastie Boys
Sabotage really grew on me in Rock Band 1. It ended being a song that I enjoyed doing all parts for. On the contrary, I can't enjoy anything in So What'cha Want except for vocals. The song is much more standard than Sabotage, and is therefore incredibly repetitive, especially on the drums. Beastie Boys aren't my favorite band, nor are they my least favorie, but I rue playing this song.
8. Rebel Girl - Bikini Kill
This song is just plain annoying. None of the parts are particularly fun to play, and the lyrics are about as bad as girl punk will get. Grating, and with a lack of drive or meaning, it fails at being a fun song due to its slow, brooding pace and isn't a good song because of how lame it all is. Tsk tsk, random ass punk band.
7. Painkiller - Judas Priest
I used to be a pretty big Priest fan. Their stuff was fun to listen to, and their riff-heavy, dual lead style made them unique. So, why are they on here? Well, Painkiller came out in 1990. There are sooo many better Judas Priest songs for a Rock Band game. They could do Freewheel Burning, Breaking the Law, Hell Bent For Leather, the list goes on. Instead, they pick a song from an album from a year when 80's metal was dead. Painkiller came out in the same year as Badmotorfinger by Soundgarden and Nevermind by Nirvana. It was obscure at that point. Painkiller may be kinda fun, but when you think of the songs they could have chosen, it becomes frustrating.
6. Dead on Arrival - Fall Out Boy
Okay, let me go back to when I first heard this song, before I had really heard much of Fall Out Boy. The name scrolled up, and the note chart started coming. Within 15 seconds, we had failed. It took my family a while to beat this song, and a lot of songs in the game are like that (My favorite guitar part in either game, Flirtin' With Disaster, kicked my ass more times than I can count), but just because it kicked my ass doesn't make it good or fun. It's just exhausting. The guitar is stuck permanently in chordland, the bass is stuck permanently in "Hey-follow-that-guitarist" mode, and the drums are just mindless. When I eventually beat this song on expert, which I have with all parts, I never looked back. It's a frustrating mess.
5. Panic Attack - Dream Theater
I used to kinda like Dream Theater. Then again, I was impressionable. Here's a band that said, "Hey check this out we're not mainstream and we all have college degrees in music and our bassist is Asian HEY YOU WATCH US SHRED OMG!!!", and I bought into it for a while. Then, It kinda hit me while I was playing this song. These guys don't reakky know that they're writing a song. The bassist is pretty good, and he holds down the song pretty well, and the singer has some interesting words to say in an interesting way, but the guitarist and drummer are literally just wanking off their instruments for the entire song. It may not be terrible, but it's not fun. Not in the slightest. I see this song as being one like Dead On Arrival. Once I beat it, I'll be happy never playing it again. That's not the kind of song you want in a rhythm game.
4. Welcome Home - Coheed And Cambria
Believe it or not, I love progressive rock. Rush? Yes? King Crimson? Jethro Tull? Bread and butter to me. Since these bands had their heyday, multiple acts have acted to alienate me from the genre. Before I go on, I will say that in no way, shape or form is Tool one of those bands. Dream Theater is, tough, and, to a greater extent, so is Coheed and Cambria. Welcome Home is an example of a song that tries so goddamn hard to be epic, yet fails because it's trying so hard. It's like when a guy gets obsessive over a girl and tries to do anything to win her affection. That's Welcome Home. For a good 6 minutes, probably more, I'm treated to every epic riff ever written, ending with Gregorian Chant. COME ON!!!! It doesn't help that I have had to play this innumerable times online.
3. Green Grass and High Tides - The Outlaws
This is probably the prime example of a song that has no place in Rock Band. The singer has vocals for probably 1/8 of the song, it's too long, and the guitar solos are impossible. I've yet to beat this song on expert for guitar. I've simply never had fun with this song. IT's also really obscure. I've never met someone that knew this song prior to this game. Few vocals, balls hard, obscure? Why is this on Rock Band?
2. A Jagged Gorgeous Winter - The Main Drag
WHY IS THIS SONG ON HERE!?! Better yet, WHY DOES THIS SONG EXIST!?! I mean, seriously, as if my perception of Indie Rock wasn't bad enough. It's just a mess. The instruments feel completely random and have no correlation with one another, the lyrics are retarded "NIGHTS FILLED WITH LONGER HOURS OMG", and it just isn't fun. The best part is that the writer of that song probably feels like a genius. This song fails, anyone who likes this song fails, let's move on to #1.
1. Visions - Abnormality
Any list of this type without this as the top is completely bullshit. All I can really say is that you dickheads HAD to ask for more metal. Well, LOOK WHAT YOU GOT INTO MY ROCK BAND!?! This song is probably the worst I've ever heard. Worse than Paramore, Fall Out Boy, anyone else. I blame all you metalheads with your incessant bitching. KEEP YOUR SHITTY MUSIC OUTTA MY ROCK BAND!!!!
Well, that's enough of that. See ya around. Also, again, screw you metalheads.