Might make a video feature in the coming months....

Hello. In celebration of the first truly great first person shooter hopeful on Wii, The Conduit,  I will most likely be making a feature where I break down the FPSs already available. It'll most likely be three parts. The first would include the first applications and launch titles for Wii, the second would include FPS game spanning the life of the system (not many), and the third would be a video review of the Conduit.

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It's stupid.

I don't get why he was so ferociously defending the game. The combat was very stupid, and while the concept is cool, without good combat, it's a hollow shell.

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Too Human is TERRIBLE.

Too Human has possibly the worst combat I've seen in years. I've actually beaten groups of enemies without taking damage by rotating the joystick, without even looking at the screen. Thank God for demos.

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Strange thought #1

    If something is considered "ass", it is usually considered bad. Why is it then, that if something is considered "badass", it is considered good? It had both "bad" and "ass", which also means "bad", in the word. This is either due to the law of double negatives, or is retarded.

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I feel like diving into a brick wall.

    Let's see where I can take this one.
    Diving into a brick wall would cause pain, the amount of pain caused being directly proportionate to the area of my body that collides with the wall, the speed at which I hit the wall, whether or not I recoil or not, and how hard the brick wall is. The proper technique for diving into a brick wall would most likely involve going forward with the flat part of your arm, avoiding cranial trauma. However, this could severely damage your arm. In order to prevent this, one would have to wear some sort of protective shell on their arm, but if they were to wear protective shell, you may ask, why not just slap on protective shell over every inch of their body? Well, you interrupting dick, protective shell on the head wouldn't help much unless it was well insulated, and I never mentioned anything about insulation. As for the rest of your body, I don't think people have that much shell lying around, if any. However, due to the hard shell on the arm and your head being braced against your arm, your head may receive only slightly less damage than if it were to come in contact with the wall. To avoid this, you would have to find a shell to put on your arm that covered one side with hard, bracing material, while the other has soft support for your head. Tempurpedic material would work best, Titanium would work worst. To make such a shell, you would have to cast some sort of plastic, or get an old arm cast, cut half off and tie a pillow on the end. When you jump, you would want to make yourself slightly angled to the ground, as angled as you can with it still being called "diving." This would make the force applied to the wall less, since it is at an angle, and when force is applied at an angle, it is split up between the horizontal and vertical force, creating a right triangle for which you would use the Pythagorean theorem to find the individual forces. Only the force applied horizontally would affect you. Also, being angled would make the fall less hard. Depending on what type of floor you have, you may want to put down some extra padding to avoid damage to the chin, which can be tough to tuck in. Carpet should be fine, anything harder is risky. Also, do not do this over spikes, if you plan on doing it at all. If there's one thing we learned from Sonic, it is that spikes are bad and they will take all of your money.
    There you have it. Safe tips for diving into a brick wall.

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Games need to stop being movies.

    Games need to stop being movies, as I just said. You're probably saying "But wait, games are games. They aren't movies! Hahahahaaaa!" I'm here to tell you that you are playing movies, for the most part. If you look at the two in regards to one another, you'll see that games are quickly losing all the gameness (?) about them, which is sad.
    Let me explain myself, as I love to do. A movie is judged by five things primarily: direction, acting, writing, cinematography and, lastly, point. By point, I mean that if the movie is completely meaningless, much like Seinfeld was as a show, people will look down upon it. If you look at games nowadays, they bear uncanny resemblance to movies, and they have arrived there in the same way that movies have somewhat, but have had a hell of a time getting there. Games, like movies, started out simple: if you've ever played The Movies, you'll remember the first movie you make takes place on a stage and features your lead character trying to pick up a massive weight. It was simple, short and entertaining, much like games used to be. However, much like Gone With The Wind changed film forever, video games had their own shifts, most of them brought upon by the series of series, Final Fantasy. With long winded scenes of dialogue and little action, people loved the new craze of the RPG, and took it all the way to 3D. RPGs are the igniter for games becoming movies, since RPGs generally have simple gameplay, with your incentive to continue being to see what happens next to your party. However, the game industry took a real massive kick in the face with the Playstation's 3D swan song, the product of a film major: Metal Gear Solid.

Metal Gear Solid brought a new level to storytelling in gaming. Was it a good level to be on?
    Metal Gear Solid was great when it came out. People had really never seen anything like it, because it was an interactive movie. It wasn't really a game. I see the Playstation as the console that caused the shift towards storytelling. This is because Metal Gear Solid and Castlevania: Symphony of the Night bosh came out for the system, yet Metal Gear Solid was considered the great one, the wave of the future, while Castlevania was a last ditch effort of a game company that refused to change. Going back and playing them again, it makes me sad, since Symphony of the Night is by far the superior game. People saw that this is what people wanted. Not only did they see the story as the reason for the success of MGS, but the graphics, which were more realistic than other games. People have followed the curve set down by Hideo Kojima for years, and continue to do so today. I used to really like Metal Gear Solid's story. Now, I see a massive problem with it.
    That is, of course, that it's a movie. It uses no gaming conventions to tell the story, yet separates the story from the action through cutscenes, which has become the norm. Because of this, people anticipate sequels more than new games because they like being near familiar characters experiencing new things. New ideas are shoved under the rug in favor of the same old, because that's what sells. It makes me sad.
    I think that games can be games and still tell a good story, but it takes responsibility. Using things like boss fights to convey emotions or ideas is something few games have ever done. People call games like MGS4 ambitious, games like GTA4 ambitious, but these are games falling into the path laid out for them. These games are ambitious in some ways, but they end up losing that traditional greatness found in games that were action first. We have evolved past games like this, but games have evolved into Frankenstien monsters: different parts from different medium thrown together. Rather than do this, we should strive to integrate one onto another, rather than sew them together. Make a solid being, its flesh being gameplay and story together, acting as one. This will open up new doors in the gaming world and allow for projects unlike ones we have ever seen, which is a great, great thing.

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