artelinarose

@YOU_DIED said:

@Artemesia said:

It isn't something you can fight and most times, you don't even notice it

I understand what you are saying, because I suffer from this as well, but you can fight it. It's a matter of willpower. You have to force yourself to get out of that bed (that's where I usually end up during an episode) with every inch of your being. In my case, it's been absolutely vital to have a family that cares as much as me as I do about them.

I often think of and look up to Meriwether Lewis, a man who fought it and, on the orders of Thomas Jefferson, helped lead an expedition of men across the unexplored wilderness of America. He eventually succumbed to it (this is still somewhat controversial), but he was a fighter and thus he achieved great things.

I suppose this is where we differ. My family's never been to hot on the idea of me. I love my parents, and they love me, but it's always been a "meet halfway" understanding rather than a mutual thing. We don't all have the same safety nets, and it's more difficult for some than others to come to terms with their existence. What worked for you will never work for me because it isn't an issue of willpower. It's more deep seated than that. But I figure my complexes make me stronger, not weaker.

@Hizang said:

So I just woke up. I read every comment in this thread, I'm not going to respond to them all, but give a quick note. I have a full time job, I have £800 ($1300) disposable income, I live at home with my parents and I have a good circle of friends. But sometimes I feel like none of that matters, I feel so crappy. I go out and buy stuff for no reason other than I think it will make me happy, I will feel detached and lonely from my family and friends. I will just feel empty inside as if I am just a shell of a human being walking around, I feel useless and annoyed at myself because I should have no reason to be depressed due to my safe and secure lifestyle. But I am, as many others have mentioned I didn't decide to be depressed, I just am a unlucky person, it could be a medical issue with my brain or it could be something in my life that I'm not seeing. For those telling me to grow up and get over it, that's a very silly way of looking at deppression, how can you get over deppression if its a medical issue. That's like telling sombody with cancer to just get over it. Think before you type.

Totally feeling you. I've been diagnosed with depression since I was five years old. My second week of kindergarten I drew a picture of myself bleeding out on a row of spikes and I haven't quite known what to do with myself since.

It isn't something you can fight and most times, you don't even notice it, but when you realize you have it, it seems like every problem in your life is connected to being unable to feel as a proper human being. Like all of your emotions that aren't "fuck this stupid life" are trapped in a metal cage with their limbs bound and no matter how hard they or you beat at the walls, there's nothing you can do because you're only human. When you can't properly socialize with the cute person at the cash register, you wonder if you were a more self confident person, if you were taller, or shorter, or stronger, or more intelligent, or capable of reaching into that part of your brain that you know is charming and endearing or wonderful but you just can't access, that maybe it would have been different. When you fail your job interview, that maybe if you were just something MORE than what you muster to the surface, it'd have gone just fine. Or that maybe you wouldn't need all of these video games to validate yourself as a human being. But none of those things happen, so you walk away feeling like a genuine piece of shit. A waste of space. That somehow, if you were gone, or if you had never even tried, the world would be a better place. There's no justifying it; it's a gut feeling. Somehow you just know.

People that don't get it, don't get it. It isn't a social thing. It's something you have to experience to truly understand how hopeless you feel. Money or no money, you can't help how your brain feels. You can't help how your heart feels. It has nothing to do with willpower. When you find yourself mentally pep talking yourself and saying you can do it, you're the best, there's that voice just below the surface telling you you're a fucking idiot for even trying and that when you fail, you deserve it, and there's nothing you can do to stop yourself from failing and you were fucked from step one.

@Funzzo said:

Is the game out yet?

No. And that's probably the reason.

I already own most of the games on here... does anybody know if I get gift codes or something for the games I already own, or is that out of the question?

Playing NC, got in my AA Reaver and locked onto an enemy scythe with my anti air missiles. He swiveled downwards and boosted to get away, but he was only ten feet away from a cliff and blew up pretty much instantly.

@RollingZeppelin said:

The problem is that the vast majority of games don't appeal to girls, so there's not as many of them, and I don't blame them. The industry needs to mature a whole lot more before we have games that are complex enough to appeal to both sexes universally.

It all depends, I guess. Not to sound confrontational, but why do you assume that video games don't appeal to girls? Maybe it's just because I grew up with them, but video games are just fine. I don't enjoy your standard first person shooter middle eastern war fantasy games but that's more because they've saturated the market and they're just boring now and not because I don't enjoy shooting people in the mouth. Women are not naturally more "complex" or "deep" than men. It is not inaccurate to say that they enjoy different things, but you don't need to be complex or deep for a female to enjoy it. Plenty of girls enjoy Twilight and we all know how complex THAT is.

Republic Commando 2

God Hand 2

Vanquish 2

that's all i want ;_;

I am really disappointed they got rid of the rose.

I really like this game, but I am starting to really get annoyed by how fucking shitty some of the maps are for early game. How is it fair that one side spawns with a regular warthog and the other gets the gauss warthog? Or one side gets a sniper rifle and the other gets a rocket launcher?

I met Brodehouse through TOR so great or awful, I love this game. Free to play is absolutely worth it.