ArtelinaRose's forum posts

#2 Posted by ArtelinaRose (1783 posts) -

@spaceinsomniac

I had a really big thing typed up but I figured this would suffice

Congratulations, you've won the "shitty things cis people say and do to delegitimize the experiences of trans people" bingo in this thread! You only missed two or three squares!

#4 Edited by ArtelinaRose (1783 posts) -

Special reminder that OKCupid's call to boycott Firefox for instating a homophobe as CEO came on International Transgender Visibility Day. And that they still don't have any options for identifying as transgender on their website, nor any tools to create a safe dating environment for trans people.

but its not like anyone is surprised that people dont include us right

hurray for trans erasure being acceptable

#5 Posted by ArtelinaRose (1783 posts) -

You're looking really good. Totally convincing. Did you pick a female name?

I would like to respectfully ask what was the (for lack of better articulation) "breaking point"?

At what point did you decide you wanted this and actually go through with it? I'm just curious about the process from thinking about it to the actual transformation.

When it comes to dating are you "gay" if you date a female? Do you ideally want to be with a female, male, or a trans? I read you had a girlfriend, what's her thoughts on this? Is she technically a lesbian?

Sorry if any of my questions come off as ignorant. I honestly want to learn about this stuff, but information is scattered and I've never met a trans in person.

I forgot to point out that "female, male, or a trans?" is bad because it stems from the thought process that transwomen and transmen are not what they identify as. Transmen are men, transwomen are women. They're not "a trans."

May have already pointed it out, but I'll do it again for emphasis just in case: a few of these questions stem from the thought process "lina is a boy" which is incorrect. I was born male bodied, yes, but I identify as female, express as female, ergo, I am female. What I was born as does not define who I am; who I am defines what I am. That sentence might make zero sense to anyone not educated on this sort of thing, but I promise, on the other side of this knowledge hole, it will.

It can be difficult for those not accustomed to this sort of thing to wrap their heads around the concept of sex, gender identity, gender expression and sexuality all being completely separate from one another, but once you do, I think you will be a little surprised with how much the world opens up to your newfound understanding.


I second that. Not a lot of people know what's appropriate. Some people barely know trans folk exist outside of weird porn and drag shows. Clarification of how trans see sex vs. gender is needed. There's the biology of what a male and female is. That is binary in terms of the body, then there's gender. How those two relate really seem to confused people. Information on that isn't exactly widely distributed.

Also here. Drag shows have next to nothing to do with transgender women. Common mistake, but no less important to address.

#6 Posted by ArtelinaRose (1783 posts) -

Nyx did a really really good job of explaining things without coming off as a jerk. Should listen to her.

If you come in and try to tell two trans women that they are using their community's language wrong and they don't know what they're talking about, surprise! You are exactly the kind of person they are talking about when they say "fucking cis people" because in this context, it means "those who are famously ignorant of gender minority issues and don't bother recognizing it."

#7 Edited by ArtelinaRose (1783 posts) -

@carryboy said:

ok, ok I give up, what the hell does cis stand for?

a google search could have helped you

Cisgender. Somebody whose gender identity matches their biological sex.

@immortalsaiyan said:

@video_game_king said:

@immortalsaiyan said:

Glad it is going so well for you. I would love to start hormones myself at some point as the results sound amazing.

As part of a gender change thing or just for the soft skin?

Why would go through a hormone change if all I wanted was softer skin?

Luxurious velvety skin is pretty awesome.... :3

I'm REALLY underselling it. I'm softer than every cis girl I know. It's a pretty common thing for trans women to be softer than cis women and hooooly shit am I soft.

Boobs are also great. Yes, my boobs are natural. No, they're not different. They're just boobs.

@artelinarose said:

I apologize if I come off as abrasive or even aggressive in some of my responses. I tend to be a bit firm when I discuss issues like this. I promise I'm not attacking anybody, and that I usually don't mean anything by it beyond exerting a little pressure for emphasis. I've meant being a little rude twice in this thread. Try to find them!

I believe you said you were 22? Correct me if I'm making that up. Males don't reach physical maturity till around 24. How do you assure you're manipulating your hormones safely? I assume there are doctors that specialize in this stuff.

It's not as hard as you think it is, especially since part of the process is actually blocking the production of testosterone. You block T, slowly replace it with E. My doctor is FTM so I trust his judgement on a lot of this stuff, seeing as he deals with many MTF patients and has personal experience with at least the other side of the process... but endocrinologists are hormone doctors(though not JUST), and many people who transition see one for a more personalized transition.

#9 Edited by ArtelinaRose (1783 posts) -

I apologize if I come off as abrasive or even aggressive in some of my responses. I tend to be a bit firm when I discuss issues like this. I promise I'm not attacking anybody, and that I usually don't mean anything by it beyond exerting a little pressure for emphasis. I've meant being a little rude twice in this thread. Try to find them!

#10 Posted by ArtelinaRose (1783 posts) -

@shagge said:

@artelinarose said:
@artelinarose said:

@alexw00d said:

@artelinarose: Not everyone knows exactly which words you want them to use for every single little thing you want to distinguish between, and as such, I really don't think anyone is being insensitive. Insensitive implies an implication (that's a dumb sentence to write) and I really don't think anyone here is implying anything. People are taking an interest in something you feel open enough with to share with the internet, it's a good thing. Yay.

It's possible to be unknowingly insensitive, but that still doesn't stop it from being insensitive; I think it's important to point out that such questions fall on the opposite side of appreciated when they are raised.

Thinking of doing another blog post which will just be a FAQ/non comprehensive guide to MTF transgender peoples.

I'd actually love to read that. I have a couple of MTF transgendered friends, and normally I think nothing of it and never bring it up (not for any reason; I just don't see the need), but I've never been sure what questions would be "acceptable" should a thought pique my curiosity. Everyone's different, obviously, but a kind of baseline would be handy.

I second that. Not a lot of people know what's appropriate. Some people barely know trans folk exist outside of weird porn and drag shows. Clarification of how trans see sex vs. gender is needed. There's the biology of what a male and female is. That is binary in terms of the body, then there's gender. How those two relate really seem to confused people. Information on that isn't exactly widely distributed.

Transgenders sometimes get offended and just call people asking questions "stupid". Or maybe I'm reading bad sources.

I get transgenders have a lot of shitty things to deal with, but most people don't encounter or ever learn about transgenders. It's an extreme minority. So a lot of what you perceive to be dumb questions will be reoccurring for a long time. Educate your community whenever you get a chance like this to whatever level you're comfortable with.

You're not wrong, but it's also an issue of after a point you stop appreciating the questions you perceive as stupid(because there are soooo many unappreciated ones and whenever being trans comes up it's generally ALWAYS THE SAME ONES UGHHH) and just start to dismiss them immediately. But at the same time, not every trans person wants or even needs to be an ambassador for "their people" and expecting them to be is a little ridiculous. A common thing that I have noticed is that trans people are generally very willing to help others increase their understanding of issues we face. BUT, we are not encyclopedias to be poked and prodded at your convenience, we are human beings just the same as everyone else and I don't think it's entirely unreasonable to also put part of the onus on those who wish to learn. If it's something you're interested in educating yourself on, exercise a little autonomy. Strive to be the person I don't rant about. I promise I'll try to meet you halfway on that.