Life is not fair. How else to explain this mess of situations, how can I make sense of this madness. I am happier in some senses, but in others I am not.
I am healthy, I have a roof over my head, food - sometimes. I have parents that care about me, I have some friends who do too. I have a girlfriend who I like and who seems to like me back.
Things that are not great: No job, still no bachelor's, back living with parents, no money for games, no time for games, no time for myself.
Reading the previous post I made makes me laugh a bit since I was somehow, in that short time, more naive and hopeful. I thought things were going to be alright and they are, but alright in our ever-moving-forward world is not enough.
If I think of the reasons why I'm doing what I'm doing, it doesn't take long to come up with a single, resounding answer.
Why get a degree? Knowledge? Sure, but why do I want to know more. To say I know more than the other guy? Why get a high paying job? Why get status and recognition for said job? Why get wealthy? Why get healthy? It's a race towards being the most eligible person to be chosen as a mate.
Second on the list would be empathy towards others. I do what I do to somehow diminish their suffering. But deep within, why would I want to do that? Is it a selfish cause? I feel bad for them, so then I feel compelled to end my own suffering towards them. A secondary byproduct of my own selfish desire is altruism and an apparent drive to make the world a better place.
Third? Companionship. I don't want to go through this life alone. Some things are better weathered with someone; things like loss of a loved one, or a loved thing. But we do we seek each other?
Are we selfish by nature and only look to our neighbors as emotional band-aids, and the reason friendships form is due to a carefully balanced form of symbiosis where we all try to take in as much as we give?
So, I am good friends with one and recently met another who I'm getting to know and like, but I've come to find out some girl-related stuff drew them apart. It's my understanding they don't really want to talk to each other.
I like dude A, and I like dude B. But they don't like each other. What the hell do I do? How can I maintain both friendships?