AzHP's forum posts

#1 Posted by AzHP (157 posts) -

Had the CRAZIEST dream that contained so many random video game references just now. Minor spoilers if you haven't played Portal 2 past the beginning.

So my dream started with me taking over my girlfriend Lindsey's Tuesday and Thursday shifts at Maido stationary, a Japanese stationary store in Japantown, apparently they really needed employees? Anyway, it turns out that Maido is a front for a covert resistance organization in a world where dance is prohibited. I get on a high tech train that has to pass through enemy territory with crazy bio scanner technology that can tell if you've danced recently by scanning your muscle composition. Fortunately, I had a helpful robot, GLadOS, that was able to mask my body composition kind of like a speed trap scrambler that sent signals back saying I was fat. I went deep into enemy territory, and passed through the bioscanner while holding my breath. I didn't really know what to expect...but I trusted GladOS. She held up her end of the bargain, and the bioscanner (which looked like a grill of lasers that could slice your body apart) was successfully fooled into thinking I was fat, and we sped past a white train station that looked like it came out of Portal.

After we passed the station with the security checkpoint, we completed our mission, which was to retrieve footage of an internet game show where Gordon Ramsay yells at internet trolls for playing poorly in Skyrim. Apparently, in this version of Skyrim there's an item in your inventory called the Elder Scroll and if you even look at it it crumbles into dust, and your game is over. The scroll had a blue preserved butterfly with a note on it that said not to interact with the scroll in your inventory AT ALL, unless it was to put it into a scroll pouch for safe keeping. The internet troll in this particular episode, who happened to be Giant Bomb intern Ben Pack, had destroyed the scroll by trying to examine it, but had also stored some extremely important information for the resistance by modifying the save contents of a Donkey Kong Country cartridge. Gordon Ramsay flipped the fuck out because he thought that not only was Ben a fucking idiot who couldn't tell that a blue preserved butterfly meant you shouldn't look at something, but that they had just destroyed a 102% completion save of Donkey Kong Country (which really is one of the most horrible things you can do). I found out the location of the cartridge but had to put the game into the console and find several bonus rooms where I had to collect stars and/or bananas in order to unlock the secrets hidden within.

After unlocking the secrets, I got back on our secret train compartment and prepared to head back to Maido with a job well done. However, GladOS suddenly told me that they had modified the blue laser scanners so that her hack wouldn't work anymore. She told me this as the lasers were in my train compartment and seconds away from scanning me. (The lasers were going pretty slowly) As I closed my eyes and braced for the end, I heard a familiar British accented voice that I recognized as Wheatley saying, "Don't worry, I've got you covered. I'm defecting from Unity and I'm going to help you get through the scanners. I know what they've changed since the last time you've been through and I know how to override it. I'm going to come on board now, PROMISE not to kill me the moment you see me. I'm coming on in!" I was actually prepared to smash him to pieces because I hadn't forgiven him for how stupid he was in Portal 2, but like the idiot coward he is, he didn't actually show up. He said, "Well I'm glad I didn't come out right then! Alright, I'm going to come on board, for real this time, and I'm going to save your life so DON'T KILL ME."

After Wheatley was onboard, I was still holding my breath as the lasers were just about to pass over me and I was scared for my fucking life. Fortunately, we managed to pass through without setting off any alarms. However, just as we were about to pass through the final tunnel exiting the station to freedom, a guard saw me lying down in the train car through a window and recognized my Maido apron and I barely heard him yell "HEY!" as the train sped down the tunnel. Well, fuck, I thought.

As we sped over the mountains heading back to the stationery store, I saw an evil looking white train approaching from behind. Wheatley handed me a rifle with a grenade launcher attachment and I began firing at it from the roof of the train car, but it wasn't enough to stop it. Fortunately, GladOS and Wheatley were able to work together to fashion a missile turret and fired a rocket at the train just as it was rounding a hairpin turn on top of a mountain (seemed like a poor engineering choice there). The train derailed and flew off the mountain, smashing straight into a Simpsons arcade cabinet that happened to be on the city streets below the mountain.

That's when I awoke, drenched in sweat and veins still coursing with adrenaline, with the song 0/1 Angel from Pop'n Music playing in my mind. I looked at the clock: 4:45AM. At that moment, I knew what I had to do: get on the computer and write it all down before it faded from my memory.

#2 Posted by AzHP (157 posts) -

@Demoskinos said:

I'm sad! Watched it every morning! It was exciting to wake up to the new adventures of Brono! Now a void is left in my heart. =( Guess I could start watching the Persona 4 ER since I never did watch that.

The Persona 4 endurance run is my favorite, there's a lot more social interaction in the game which means more material for Vinny and Jeff to play off of, I think it really let their personality shine through.

#3 Posted by AzHP (157 posts) -

I can't believe this game was developed in San Francisco. Don't they know none of us have that sort of room in our house? =(

#4 Posted by AzHP (157 posts) -

Metal Gear Solid 4. So beautiful, so intense, and it was my first PS3 game as well.

#5 Posted by AzHP (157 posts) -

I can't stop listening to's so beautiful. It's better than a sinner's sandwich.

#6 Posted by AzHP (157 posts) -

@Strongbadman47: THIS IS AMAZING.

#7 Posted by AzHP (157 posts) -

I was looking on Youtube for terrible dubstep and typed in Deadly Premonition dubstep, it was an autocomplete option but there was no dubstep. I turn to the Giant Bomb community to rectify this grievous error.

#8 Edited by AzHP (157 posts) -

@Crash_Happy said:

@AzHP: Your mistake was getting on board for all this 'anniversary' of dating malarky. What were you thinking?

I don't give a damn about anniversaries, but unfortunately Lindsey's bought into the whole "special days," she even wants to celebrate Valentine's day. >_>

@Fizzy: Holy cow, that stuff is really awesome! Thanks so much...I'm going to have to spend some time looking at these....

#9 Posted by AzHP (157 posts) -

@SethPhotopoulos said:

I took someone else's advice and did some origami. She dug the hell out of it because I spent the time to do it. I also got her something along with that in case it didn't work but I don't remember.

That'd be great except my girlfriend works at a Japanese stationery store so there's no real novelty there. =(

@MooseyMcMan said:

$300? Man, having a girlfriend is expensive.

I could spend a lot less and get away with it, but I just want to get her something that will make her happy. The backup gift I have for her was $80-ish.

#10 Posted by AzHP (157 posts) -

My girlfriend and I have been dating since November 2008 and to this date I have yet to get her a nice anniversary gift. I'm such a terrible gift giver that I've forgotten what I've given her these last two years, but this time she has made it clear that she wants something "romantic" that she can "show all her friends," e.g. a necklace. I already bought her something ( but after she told me it should be romantic, I decided I should probably save that for her birthday or something.

So, the internet is probably the worst place to ask, but...

Here are facts about my girlfriend:

  • She is a multi-talented dancer (ballet, modern, hip hop, jazz, tap, ballroom)
  • Her favorite video game series are Phoenix Wright, Silent Hill, Fatal Frame and Persona
  • She likes anime with boobs in it
  • She hates diamonds, but is ok with all other precious gems
  • She's allergic to earrings that aren't gold (silver might be ok too, not sure)
  • She doesn't actually have any non-nerdy female friends, so if it's romantic AND nerdy that would probably be the best

Price range is less than $300. Here's a picture for reference, in case it helps...

Thanks in advance! Assuming your idea is not terrible. Actually, I'm expecting most of them to be terrible, but that's perfectly fine. One man's garbage is another man's treasure, hopefully.