backflip10019

Not only does Abercrombie discriminate against big people, but their CEO also looks like Gary Busey got stung by bees http://t.co/4BUrErZTti

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  • backflip10019 tweeted
    Not only does Abercrombie discriminate against big people, but their CEO also looks like Gary Busey got stung by bees http://t.co/4BUrErZTti
  • backflip10019 tweeted
    What Would Jesus Do About That Ass, Girl
  • backflip10019 tweeted
    Emails from Rishu and Devindra in my junk mail. Yep, my spam blocker is racist.
  • backflip10019 tweeted
    Heard a scream coming from next door. My neighborly instincts kicked in and I completely ignored it until it stopped.
  • backflip10019 tweeted
    Must be weird owning a dog who doesn't even know about 9/11.
  • backflip10019 tweeted
    Most Rastafarians nowadays are just African-Americans who like the hat.
  • backflip10019 tweeted
    JEWISH PICKUP LINE: Girl, is it the Hebrew month of Nisan because I can't seem to Passover that ass.
  • backflip10019 tweeted
    Ding dong ditch. Feel bad. Go back. Ding dong. Don't ditch. Door opens. It's your grandma. You just ding dong ditched your grandma.
  • backflip10019 tweeted
    THIS JUST IN: Timberlake. http://t.co/oZ9NpnDQbR
  • backflip10019 tweeted
    Someone punched me in my sleep and left a big bruise on my arm. I think it was my brother, but I don't like to jump to contusions.
  • backflip10019 tweeted
    100 monkeys with 100 typewriters might not be able to write Shakespeare, but they sure could write your tweets.
  • backflip10019 tweeted
    "It was all a dream / I used to read Highlights magazine / Hidden pictures n' puzzles up in my fantasy"
  • backflip10019 tweeted
    *desperately tries to muffle pee sounds when on the phone with mom*
  • backflip10019 tweeted
    Listen... it's not you, it's me. Actually, no, it's your vestigial tail. That thing is weird.
  • backflip10019 tweeted
    It's my girlfriend's time of the month again. I'm still not sure why she prays for a fruitful harvest every few weeks.
  • backflip10019 tweeted
    Take my honor. Take my pride. Take my dignity. But god help you if you take my glasses and smudge them.
  • backflip10019 tweeted
    I can't wait until I'm old and it's socially acceptable for me to walk around with my mouth open.
  • backflip10019 tweeted
    It's like Forest Whitaker's left eye wants him to be a pirate.
  • backflip10019 tweeted
    Hannibal looks up from his dinner of human flesh. "I ate the bones? I ATE THE BONES!"
  • backflip10019 tweeted
    "'Boom boom pow' is ju.st som.e.thin.g I be.lie.v.e." - apl.de.ap probably

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