I'm gonna play some videogames, maybe gonna catch a movie and do the thing I love most to do on weekends and just need to in light of all of this: to visit my parents and my younger brother and just be with them.
I really want to cry to see if I can finally can get rid of this weight that is on my shoulders since Monday... Then again I think I still can't believe that he's gone and we'll never see him again. Even after watching the mailbag and seeing his desk full of flowers, I was still hoping he showed up and start to laugh with all of this. He didn't...
I finished Assassin's Creed 3 a couple of hours after I saw Ryan had passed away. We all know that the ending is not very good, but as I was playing it, I couldn't shook the thought that Ryan was pretty disappointed with this game. I almost could hear him "what the fuck are you doing playing this game instead of XCOM?"
I understand exactly what you feel. I listen to the podcast everyday from wednesday to the next tuesday on my way to work and watch every content the gang produces. I think that we can't call Ryan or the rest of the crew our friends but they are, without doubt, very special and important people in our lifes. So its only natural that when we lose one of them, we have a hard time to continue with our day without shedding a tear.
I think many of us, like you, have a personal relationship with this website. Outside people don't understand but anyone that is part of this comunity does. It's not the subject that this site is about or really its content, but it is the people who are behind of it the real reason why we love Giantbomb so much and why many of us are suffering like we are.