So, I was lounging around, enjoying a good old fashioned American Burger (which just so happens to be a much more delicious meal than fish & chips) when I was reflecting on the recent title Hamz had placed upon me, Soulja BoG Tell 'Em. That is when it hit me: that would be an awesome name for a blog. Some people had given me some requests to make a blog entitled "A BoG and his Blog," and maybe that will come soon, but this is just a better fit for lists. So I'm going to make lists.
First up, the top 5 games that need a demake! I'd been planning to write this earlier, and also planned to include the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise, but recent news ruined this. Devastated, I put it off. Now I'm ready to make it.
The list is obviously inspired by MegMan 9, a demake that did it all right. It took a tired series, being eroded by countless poor cash-ins and spin offs. It returned to the formula that had made the blue bomber an icon, and did it in a wonderful way. Here are, what I feel, are the best games in need of a return to form:
5. Final Fantasy
Final Fantasy XIII is on the way, and... I guess it looks ok. I think the concept of motorcycle Shiva is perhaps the stupidest thing in the entire franchise, but I'm past that. I'm more concerned with the direction the series is taking, which seems to be taking a turn far, far away from the "fantasy." The world of XIII doesn't remotely resemble the fantasy/steam punk blend we've come to know and love from the franchise, in favor of a very sci-fi world. The closest the series has ever come to this much sci-fi was in IV and VIII, but both games still retained that trademark charm. I fear that won't happen for the next game. Not that it will be bad, I'm simply concerned it won't be the

More of this, please.
Final Fantasy I know and love.
I think it's time to revisit what made it all happen, to do once again what Final Fantasy IX did. It's only been 9 years, but already Square needs to remind themselves why this series is popular. I've made my complaints about XIII above, but I feel it's not since X that these games have really been true to the franchise, and I hated that game. XI was an MMORPG, and we should have petitioned its existence as a main series title. XII was enjoyable, but it should have been a separate game related more to the Tactics or Vagrant story franchises, not main series FF.
Also worth noting, it is the first game I know of that masturbates. Bring back black mages with pointy hats and moogles and castles. The series is beginning to take itself to seriously, and that will only do harm. IX had some of the most heartfelt moments while being the most lighthearted FF game in years. We need this again. Squenix, make Final Fantasy XIV the best freaking thing to happen to RPGs since levelling up.
4. Fallout
Aside from the fact that Fallout 3 had the clunkiest playing game I've experienced since the days of the Nintendo Entertainment System, it was pretty fun. That's not an odd thing, either, as I still enjoy the original Castlevania styles despite the fact that Simon Belmont controls like a concrete block. Regardless, Fallout 3 had a massive world jam packed with stuff to do, and it was fun raiding raiders and grabbing the ghouls. Snatcher references are good too, and can only earn points in my book. Unfortunately, it didn't come close to living up to its predecessors. The atmosphere, the gameplay, the everything... it was just great. Fallout always felt at home as a

More of this, please.
western style turn based RPG, and much of what made it so great was lost in the transition Elder Scrolls clone.
It would be great to see Bethesda make the next Fallout game a return to the old school. Revamp the battle system, the interface, and the gameplay to bring them up to today's standards, and you have a winner. Couple that with Bethesda's signature open world, and you've got a winner on your hands. This is a must, and would be much better than more Oblivion with guns for Fallout 4. If anything worries me about this, it's that I don't actually have faith in Bethesda to make something that isn't Elder Scrolls. They seem almost too content with concrete brick controls and awful third person cameras. Prove me wrong, Bethesda, and do it with the Fallout franchise.
3. Donkey Kong

More of this, please.
The Donkey Kong franchise has become a throw away for Nintendo in recent years. The Donkey Konga games, Jungle beat, Mario vs DK, etc. were not bad games, but what happened to the Donkey Kong Country titles, and the great Donkey Kong 64? Nintendo, without a doubt, had a winner on their hands and they've let it go. Sure, Rare is gone, but Nintendo is in posession of a number of talented developers, not to mention I'm positive many third parties would be up for the task. The Donkey Kong platformers have been top tier in the genre. I'm shocked we haven't seen more DK. Hopefully, we will soon.
2. Metroid
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the Prime franchise, particularly the first, which I named my second favorite game of all time. However, the games have been getting progressively worse with each of the major installments. 1 was excellent, 2 was great, and 3 was good. Unfortunately, Corruption in many ways abandoned what made

More of this, Please.
the franchise so special in the first place, as did the DS version, Hunters. I didn't get that Metroid feeling, the seclusion, the adventure, of all the preceeding games. I was frightened that the franchise may be turning into a cash in with that pinball game, but we got lucky. I'm totally cool if they keep making first person Metroid games, but I think it would be best to see a return to the good ol' days, the 2D Metroidvania gameplay we all know and love. Metroid Fusion and Zero Mission were two of the best games on the GBA, and Super Metroid rarely absent from any major "top 100" list.
Fans have been craving a new 2D installment for years. I'd love to see Smaus explore a new planet, and to see NIntendo bring back the dark, creepy atmospheres. I'd love to see the franchise picked up where Fusion left off. Heck, I'd even go nuts for a Metroid II remake. Whatever it is, we need more Metroid, and we need it soon. Come on Nintendo! Whatever happened to Metroid Dread?
1. Sonic the Hedgehog
Is anyone surprised here? Without a doubt, this is the series that needs a savior. Unlike every other franchise on the list, nothing is going right for Sonic. Just like MegaMan, Sonic has become Sega's source for easy cash and minimal effort. These games are pumped out faster than babies in my home state, Utah. Unlike MegaMan, though, hope is almost completely lost for these games, it seems. Sonic needs the most radical remake, most similar to that of MM9. To rebuild faith in Sonic, they need to go way back, all the way back to the original 3 titles, and Sonic CD. Forget the third dimension, Sega. Just forget it.
You know what else? Forget the absolutely idiotic characters. Blaze the Cat, Silver the Hedgehog, Wave the Swallow.... they all suck balls. That's being nice, too. If you

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LESS OF THIS!
make a new game, don't add a new character. DON'T. I was fine with Tails. Knuckles was ok, Amy was ok, but Shadow pushed it too far. You have enough anthropomorphs to last a lifetime, and you keep adding more. Not to mention, as I said above, all the new ones suck balls. Charmy the Bee is way cooler than Rogue the Bat. Oh yeah, and the series main villain? His name is Dr. Robotnik. Eggman is a stupid name. Once again, the name Eggman sucks balls.
Oh, and you know what ELSE? Innovation is cool, as long as it doesn't suck balls. You know what sucks some major balls? WEREHOGS. Oh, and you know what else? HEDGEHOGS WITH SWORDS. That SUCKS BALLS.
You know what? Wiriting this only makes me less hopeful that anything good will ever come out of Sonic again. The cooler Sega makes sonic, the more lame he becomes. Maybe they should just stop before any more harm is done. Seriously, Sonic sucks balls these days.
As I did with my previous lists, I apologize for getting emotional near the end there, and I also apologize for the slight obsession with ball sucking in the end, too. I hope some people provide good comments, and let me know what I missed. I'll probably make more "Soulja BoG tells 'em" lists in the future, because GB loves lists. Until then, Supaman dat ho.