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Bongos

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Why SWTOR is horrible and why you shouldn't buy it

  • A miserable wow clone that adds nothing new
  • Terrible optimization on all machines
  • Warzones are slidehows
  • Flashpoints are boring
  • Animations are a joke at best
  • The user interface is terrible to use
  • Ability cooldowns are tied to the animations
  • Gathering has no interaction with the environment at all
  • Crafting is unsatisfying and some professions are completely worthless
  • Everything is instanced ruining MMO feeling
  • Horrible faciton imbalance
  • Armor design is uninspired
  • Reused Armor with different colors is not new bioware
  • Classes are not unique and are hard to tell the difference
  • Cutscenes are pointless and add nothing to the gameplay
  • No endgame what so ever
  • Bugs everywhere that cripple the game
  • Horrible customer support (end of line etc.)
  • Low populations across all servers as game is slowly dying

http://www.torstatus.net/shards/us/stats as you can see there is a slow downward trend of population across all servers

http://www.mmo-junkies.net/statistics/ even more statistics supporting the slow descent of swtor

  • The Hero engine is terrible
  • .5 second ability delay built into the engine so it's not fixable
  • Companion romances are pointless add nothing to the game
  • High res textures are now "Cutscene textures" so now medium is "High"
  • Promised new combat system but is the same system
  • Auction house is horrible to use and strictly regulated
  • Bioware desperate trying to keep players paying for their subpar game aka http://www.swtor.com/info/founders
  • Bioware charging players multiple times for no reason just like with WaR trying to siphon as much cash from their dwindling players
  • Making people pay monthly for a single player experience
  • Gameworld is empty with almost no player barely seen
  • World is dreadfully static, plastic even in some places
  • Class stories swing wildly from good to terrible
  • Bioware removing the un-sub button

Addendum By Neeshka

"1) ZERO addon and macro support: every new mmo seems to have this nowadays; imagine how awful healing is without mouseover macros .....

2) No combat log - basically means I randomly die on a boss fight and there's no way of knowing how I died. Was it a death to a lack of heals ? was it an encounter mechanic ? was it flawed personal play ? There's just no way of knowing for sure.

3) Mainly a consequence of the above : No dps meters. There's no way to tell where your raid needs to improve; which dps is just dragging their weight and which ones are doing well.

Another major issue is the difficulty in finding groups because of the lack of a dungeon or raid finder like WoW or even Rift. Spamming a chat channel for groups is something very archaic and dated. And it simply doesn't work efficiently."

Regarding the community Neeshka nails it again

"Summary of the TOR fanbase (sorry if this offends anyone that isn't my intention):

1) very casual gamers that don't particularly want to raid or participate in any serious multiplayer content. Mainly single player content; levelling multiple alts and the very very occasional group content is totally ok with them. Also there's casual gamers that are just looking for a change of setting from WoW, but are ok with very similar gameplay with lightsabers. This is probably the most reasonable demographic but also the least vocal.

2) washed out WoW raiders that harbor some kind of grudge against WoW = these are the mmo rejects; the people sick of being "treated awfully" in other mmo's; but sadly they are treated awfully because they are utterly awful at such games. They think "it's just a video game" so they don't care to or are too lazy to spend 10-15 minutes to improve themselves. You'll find that such people will be up in arms against combat logs and dps meters, and usually any kind of gearscore type addon. This subset also includes anyone that holds a grudge against WoW; since it's easy to scapegoat a video game for whatever personal problems you have.

3) Fanatically loyal star wars fans, also the leftover community from star wars galaxies - these include the extremely peculiar LARPers, the people almost at the point of practicing a jedi religion and the "lore nerd" types - people that have read EVERYTHING in the extended universe. Such people will naturally like anything with star wars in it.

4) Fanatically loyal bioware fans. I used to like bioware games but this is something else. These people absolutely adore dragon age 2, and have detailed discussions where they obsess over the romance mini-games in ME/DA, and proceed to fantasize about their waifus (sp?).

You can quite easily gauge which response is from which group of fans. Anyhow it's become a hobby of mine to look at the TOR forums on occasion to see these "biodrones" in action and they do quite often say quite amusing things. Here's a blog site on tumblr with some of the highlights : http://biodronesdarndest.tumblr.com/"

Zelyre shares some of his experience with swtor

"Technically, this game is all over the place.

Performance wise, a 4.9ghz core i5 with a 5870 with 2 gigs of ram shouldn't be running at single digits at 1920x1200, let alone 1680x1050. Tilting the camera 5-10 degrees in any direction returns my frame rate to a silky smooth, v-sync cap'ed 60.

Areas just feel... empty. Like a whole zone was created for myself and my friend. Sure, there are 142 instances of Alderaan running right now, but the one I'm in? Its so empty...

The medium quality textures sucks. The game looks really nice during cut scenes with the high quality textures.

The auction house is unusable. Seriously, this is a huge problem. Free to play games have better auction systems and if I weren't playing with someone else, would be the deal breaker for me. I've been looking to upgrade my belt on my sith warrior. I know I use strength and endurance. I know it's a heavy slot of armor. I know it sits in the belt slot. I want to see what's in the level 30-33 range for belts. All I can do is limit my search to heavy armor, range 30-33. Oh boy. I have to look through 12 pages of armor. 9 of which aren't belts. 2 of which are belts for bounty hunters. While I'm looking for a belt, OH SNAP, my companion returns from his/her mission and all the windows go away! Time to start digging through that pile of armor. Again.

The UI is also silly large. Why it wasn't configurable from the get go is beyond me. The chat window gets in the way of combat. If I need to click on a mob/player, I've accidentally clicked the chat window numerous times. Every time I level, I have to redo hot bars because the game auto places new abilities in my side bar overwriting or simply removing the trinkets, med kits, and stims I've put there."

I really wanted swtor to be great but in it's current state, it's just not feasible to give these people your money with so many problems across the board.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o08e_xlXAVc

So get to a lifeboat and may god be with you.

137 Comments

Why does Xcom look so depressing

All I wanted was space aliens instead I got a flying cheerio that shoots lasers, black ink blobs, and attack of the vaguely polygonal spacemen. 
 
The latest trailer made me neither excited or interested in this game. They promised so much but I mean it just feel so fucking ugh. 
 
Thats how I summarize the info we got so far is ugh. Maybe I expected too much.

1 Comments

There ain't no calm in this Bulletstorm!

I had a fun time with bulletstorm. The locations were beautiful, the plot simple, the characters hilarious, and the gameplay extremely satisfying. 
 
I'll never get tired of kicking people onto giant cactuses EVER. 
 
But things are not perfect. It takes too long to kick people to death, Ammo can be a big problem near the beginning, and the ending was such a freaking cliffhanger!!! 
 
For all its flaws, bulletstorm is still a nice breath of air from all that grey and brown FPS shooterism. Bullet storm blows away that doldrum but for how long who knows! 

1 Comments

Dead space 2 is linear but amusing like a cheesyhauntedhouseride!

I never played the first dead space due to not giving a HOOT but a HOOT I gave this turn around and what I found was delightful...FOR A BUTCHER SHOP OWNER that is. 
 
First there is so much blood and gore and chunky bits I was just about to join PETA but my pot roast in the oven was done so to hell with that. Issac could feed the entire earth with all that meat!
 
BAM world hunger solve necro a la mode...  
 
 The zombies were varied for the most part but were a stitch to hit due to waving their damn arms like a damn noodle all the time. 
 
SOO MANY NECRO BABIEEESSS! Entire team is zombie babies! who sent all these zombie babbys to fight!?!??! 
 
Why is it satisfying to shoot zombie babies I need to see a doctor....   

A GAME DOCTOR that is with a degree in video gameology MD PHD tee hee hee...ugh  
 
Maybe it was due to only using the plasma cutter for the entire game cause I heard brad did it so how hard could it be. 
 
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh! The end game was disgustingly brutal with only my little pecker of a pistol! You pretty much have to never EVER stop shooting with how shooting them kinda stuns them.   
 
The Kenesis was pretty cool except for the part that when 5 necros come charging at you its kinda HARD to grab anything at all and SHOOT them.
 
Don't even start about the gatdam solar arrays. HURDUR I HOPE YOU LIKE NEVER HAVING ENOUGH AMMO AND HEALTH YOU SCHMUCK! 
 
Ah there no feeling like having only 6 rounds left and 2 blocks of health with no medpacks in sight. 
 
Pure 
 
Freaking  
 
TERROR IS WHAT IS IT! 
 
I wasn't even doing it on hard or zealot it was on NORMAL. Normally you'd have a feeling of accomplishment after beating a hard game but was it felt more like 
 
TRYING TO BEAT A RAPIST OFF YOUR GODDAM BUTT! 
 
Dead space is suppose to be a survival horror game supposedly. They got the survival part downish if you can say but the horror falls down flat on its FACE! 
 
First I need to give a good example to compare dead space to lets say system shock 2. It's blend of ambience, terror, and story comes together perfectly. 
 
Dead space 2 felt like a B-list horror gore flick taking you from one scare to the next. I was half expecting a vampire to pop out the walls but alas a zombie did instead 
 
for shame dead space 2...FOR SHAME! 
 
FOOOOOOOOOOOOOR SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!  

Plot wise I had no idea there was a plot but sense of incapacitation or sense of direction.  ISSAC YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE CHURCH!!! ISSAC YOU HAVE TO ESCAPE!!! ISSAC YOU HAVE TO MEET THE MARKER!!! anymore and I'd break my capslock ugh... but my favorite part was the bird guy and the bitchy AI in the solar array, almost made up for the agony of it all. 
 
Luckily (Thank GOD) it wraps up nicely at the end with the big fight with the marker. 
 
Well you see you get into a giant crane with a wrecking ball and...just kidding it not as awesome as that scenario but satisfying. 
 
The guns were coolish the zombies ghoulish the story vague and droolish but ok overall. By the way screw the big fat one filled with babies SCREW THEM TO HELLLLLLLLLLLLLL and don't forget to upgrade your rig! 
 
Also turn off your brain with this little number you might lose it ha HA! 
 
SCREW THESCHOOL PART DAMN IT TO HELL!

1 Comments

Just marathoned Fallout 1 and 2 WHY ISNT NEW VEGAS OUT YET!?

I went chronologically with fallout 1. HOLLE SHAZBOT what a ride. Now the problem is that I didn't create my own character and picked albert. 
 
Best and worst thing I ever done. Since his charisma I talked my way out of so many things it was HILARIOUS. 
 
For example the necropolis water pump was being guarded by super mutants. I thought I could sneak by but was caught. So the big ugly bastard says ARE YOU A GHOUL? and Im like lol of course Im a friggin ghoul you dummy lol yeesh heh. oh ok but if you see one tell me... cool as fucking ice man. 
 
Can you do that in Halo LOL NO freakin meatheads. 
 
Combat isnt that big of a deal until you get power armor then you become a METAL COVERED GOD OH LORDY YES! Being able to wade through gunfire? Yes please with a side of turbo plasma fire and a laser minigun to boot.
 
And since I had high int and charisma I was loaded with freaking caps and could buy all the stat boosts from the brotherhood CHA CHING! 
 
 In fallout 1 companions are kinda worthless until the end. OH WOW IAN THANKS FOR GETTING CRITTED FOR 300 DAMAGE FROM A MINIGUN AGAIN I APPRECIATE IT. 
 
Freaking pack mules man thats all they were to me don't wanna get emotionally attached... OH GOD IAN WHY!? 
 
In short Fucking deathclaws I had to turn into a crackhead just to kill their mommyo! GOt To loVe ThAt PsYchO MmMmMm.
 
Now Fallout 2 is everything in fallout 1 except BETTER for the most part. You get more companions that level up and more weapons and armor.More towns with more quests its all good. It was partially made by chris avellone whos also working on NEW VEGAS so it'll be at least a million times better than fallout 3 hopefully. 
 
They kinda throw you out into the wasteland and you have to kinda grind a bit in the beginning to be able to do some more stuff but when the ball gets rolling and you get levels thats what im talking about. 
 
This time around I made a meathead COMBAT CHARACTER to balance out my fallout 1 run. 
 
I HOPE YOU LIKE LOADING SCREENS cause I sure as hell didn't. But then I got lucky with a caravan encounter and found some better guns then I just hid behind a wagon until the guards mopped the raiders up or all the guards die then its oh dang did he see me oh damn TO THE EDGE OF THE SCREEN AHHH!   
 
The companions are way better for the most part but you have to PRAY they survive the end game. Of course never giving them any stimpacks didn't help too. 
 
Oh man I'm hurting gimme some stimpacks bro NO TOUCH PRECIOUS DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW EXPENSIVE THESE FUCKING THINGS ARE!??? walk it off yeesh. 
 
I had three guys with me the entire game pretty much sir bone in da nose who I call Mr Zulu master marcus the surper mutant and Lord Lenny the ghoul. 
 
Guess who live until the very end go ahead guess... No I wasn't marcus He died to a enclave minigun crit fucking miniguns. Nope it wasnt mr zulu he died due to fucking retard AI who COULDNT WALK AWAY FROM THE ELECTRIFIED FLOOR GOD DAMN IT MR ZULU WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! He had a super sledge that hit like a truck and had power armor too. That one hit me real hard but guess who survived all the way to the very ending. 
 
MOTHER FUCKING GHOULLY ASS LENNY THATS WHO BITCHES. This guy could move for shit but he was built like a fucking TANK. 200 hp at least and I once saw him crit a deathclaw jesus christ lenny they had a family. He survived the gauntlet and hilariously said I cant believe I lived this long. Cause Youre a fucking BEAST thats why lenny. Hes suppose to be a docter my ass give him a .223 pistol and hes fucking set. Could of gave him a gauss pistol but Im quite the wasteland money grubber.  

Regarding bosses Fallout 1 had more options either talking him out of creating a mutant army or killing him. Due to being mr charisma I had to talk him out of it.  
 
WHAT A FUCKING MESS I had 40 Hp and only had 2 minutes to escape I think. I run my fat metal ass ( they put too much work into the butts of the power armor god its burned into my brain) to the exit but the two guards AGGRO ME along with all the MUTANTS IN THE CAVERNS. I didn't know about wearing a followers robe to sneak out so SCREW ME. After a billion reloads I somehow crit the two guards and Kill all the mutants with only 2 stimpacks left. fucking love those things.  
 
Problem is I only had 45 seconds left AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH RUN METAL CHUNKY MAN RUN! 
 
with only 5 seconds left I Just Reached the edge of the screen and exited to watch that sucker blow sky high. 
 
Now my Fallout 2 ending was just as jacked up oh god what a disaster. 
 
I had more stimpacks but not that many after mowing down everyone below deck including the vice president TAKE THAT MR PRESIDENT! Lenny survived the companion meat grinder known as the end game so he deserves a fucking medal. I just figured out how to destroy the mainframe. You have to blow it up with dynamite. How about overclocking it until it overheats and blow ever think about that. that was one of the problems how linear the end game became unlike the first one.  
 
I had to read it up cause I had school tomorrow and it was 6 in the morning DAMN YOU FALLOUT. 
 
So I blow it up and talk to the guy and do all the junk right. Well since I killed the president I went back and lethalized the sentry guns at the top for some reason heh heh heh. I go back after blowing the mainframe and have to fight frank horrigan. You cant tell him to commit suicide like the master aw shucks gotta do this the HARD AND MESSY WAY! 
 
Heres the thing though DO NOT BRING ENERGY WEAPONS AGAINST POWER ARMOR it pretty much negates most of the damage only normal weapons do enough damage but it gets negated by half so thats not much unless ITS THE MOTHER FUCKING GAUSS RIFLE OH HELLS YES. 
 
Aim that sucker at the eyes and its clear sailings and crits as far as the eye can see and frank horrigan did see many crits IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 
 
I start wailing away at his eye balls and lenny kinda helps too. The sentries did most of the work but something hilarious happened.  
 
Horrigan runs out of ammo since he used it up on the sentries and starts meleeing me. I get a extra lucky crit before being knocked to the ground. Lenny the poor bastard can barely do anything to the big brute. So there I was knocked to the ground either praying to god that he misses or preparing to see another loading screen oh boy those friggin bones how I love them. 
 
After I go down it was the sentry guns turn of combat.  
 
SENTRY GUN CRIT FOR THE FUCKING WIN! the bosses deaths are so brutal and bloody yeesh. 
 
But then something tragic happened... 
 
Crit sentry turn and fired on me. Since I reprioritized  the guns to attack the greatest threat and horrigan was dead I was next on the list... 
 
I had to put the old girl down It was like old yeller but now it was old sentry OH LORD! 
 
I give it a couple of gauss shot and down it went and ran the hell outta there along with lenny back on the boat and escaped. 
 
Now thats how you make a fucking video game. 
 
Also with a couple of the fallout 2 team working on new vegas it'll be even more fallouty than fallout 3 ever was. 
 
One more month OH GOD DAMN I CAN'T WAIT HURRY UP!

3 Comments

Alien swarm known as oh god a parasite just killed half my squad

 SCREW THOSE THINGS GOD DAMN. Too many fine young men or dang dummy were lost to those damn things. Even worse half the time I'm wearing shock armor and completely forget to use it.
 
The games great and fun and free so PLAY IT! Just watch out for dummy's and mic nazis yeesh. 
 
WELD THAT DOOR! PUT THE SENTRY HERE!  OH MY GOD WHYD YOU PUT IT OVER THERE!  
 
Chill out man ill just pick it up and turn it around and- 
 
BAM KICKED 
 
For Christ sake give me a chance but oh wait never mind I forgot you're a goddamn PSYCHO! 
 
Since it's free there are A LOT of dummy's as in no one ever sticks together and watch each others back. I'm being drowned in aliens and my bonehead squaddie watches me die cause I had to reload. 
 
YOU STICK TOGETHER YOU LIVE TOGETHER ITS THAT SIMPLE! 
 
The leveling up system is fine and the weapons are great. Flamer and Tesla weapon bros for life. 
 
The classes are distinct and fun in their own way. The officer gives a leadership buff and has a sweet shotgun. the weapons specialist use the big guns and cuts a path. The tech hacks open and welds doors shut cutting off alien attacks. Finally the medic help keeps EVERYONE ALIVE and is the only one that can combat the PARASITE INFECTIONS. 
 
Also some missions require the tech to survive to achieve the objective so many a mission were lost due to dummisim.

But when everything clicks together my god its magnificent.  
 
Everyone moving together mowing down aliens like a well lubricated alien death machine. The specialist takes the front chopping down aliens. The officer watching the rear and the medic and techie keeping the flank clear. 
 
It was AMAZING much like this GAME and VALVE for making it! 
 
Also mods are going to be awesome.    

1 Comments

People are freaking the freak out over the new Xcom game

I can't blame them WHERE ARE THE INSECTOIDS AND THE SNAKEMEN??? 
 
Now we have to fight BLOBS AND GEOMETRIC SHAPES AND POLYGONS. 
 
How could you mess this up I mean HOW. 
  
I know they're trying to revive it but I mean COME ON. 
 
Now I mean there's some cool stuff like persistent buddies and upgrading and junk but if all I'm doing is fighting giant flying circles and tar balls then COME ON. 
 
A trailers suppose to WOW people make people go WHAT THE CHRIST. 
 
Guess what I'm feeling right now. 
  
 BLOBATOVS???ARE THEY TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY???

I remember playing the original XCOM and pissing my pants in fear on my first mission at night hoping I survive the mission or meeting my first chrisalyd and wasting ALL MY ACTION POINTS just so it wouldn't take out my entire squad. 
 
Maybe people are just expecting way too much. It's a FPS so might as well sit back and try and turn your brain off or its going to probably burn out.

1 Comments

PIZZA ROLLS ARE NOT REAL FOODSTUFF

Oh man I need to stop or I'm gonna turn into the 40 pizza roll kid. 
 
YOYOYO 
 
IMA EAT DESE PIZZA ROLLS 
 
Om nom snarf snorf for 10 minutes
 
Its like the abyss was a blender and you COULDNT LOOK AWAY! 
 
Spinach is freaking delicious especially creamed spinach oh man thats the stuff right there.
 
Casadias are fine in moderation and party platter mini sandwiches just DISSAPEAR MAN. 
 
EAT HEALTHY and stay cool

2 Comments

I've been playing ME2 and checking out the classes on insanity

The soldier is so damn SOSO in insanity 
 
Adept is a bit better but god forbid you stick your head out for long 
 
sentinel is fine for the most part except not many big damage dealers 
 
vanguard played right is some fun stuff but if played wrong HELLO LOADING SCREEN. 
 
haven't tried enginner or infiltrator yet. 
 
INSANITY IS INSANITY for the most part but later on in the game its manageable I guess. 
 
CAN'T wait for ME3 and I think talis a stupid blotch and that legions my ROBOBRO and grunt is MR.TOAD.

1 Comments
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