Real slick... You fool...

Sometimes, achievements require too much... Sometimes, achievements are simply not worth the extreme hassle... And nearly every game has one of 'em. Up until now, for Brothers in Arms: Hell's Highway has finally thrown the crapbin upside down and looked for all that we hate and put it on the list.

The fourth...

Focused (25G)
While connected to Xbox LIVE, play the game once a day for 7 days

It's doable. I think many, including me will get this one whether we try or not. Main reason for me is because I'm hyped for this game(haven't been seriously awaiting an arrival since GTAIV). It's the battle for Eindhoven, and the push from Nijmegen, through Uden, Veghel, Son to Eindhoven... Heck, I was born in Son. So... eh... Thats how I know all the town names...
______________________________________

The third...

Committed (50G)
While connected to Xbox LIVE, play the game once a week for three months

Now here's where things turn messy... Once a week for three months? Sure, it's only once a week. But do you honestly swap around with your games so often that even after 12 weeks you say "Hey, thats right! It a new week again!". Alright, I'll admit. I'm being a tight-ass... Its once a week for three months. I mean, hey - It's not like I have to do it every day for a hundred days.....
_______________________________________

Obsessive(100G)
While connected to Xbox LIVE, play the game for once a day for 100 days

Oooohhhhhh.... Ssssshhhhiiitttttt.....
________________________________________

Remember September '44(50G)
While connected to Xbox LIVE, play the game on September 17th.

Okay, only one can take the price for ultimate stupidity. One that just basically explains how much shit the programmers have as a brain.
ITS SEPTEMBER 17TH! RIGHT NOW! *points at the calender* See, you fool!? Well, technically in Europe, Australia and Asia it's the 18th... But still...

The. Goddamn. Game. Is. Scheduled. For. Release. On. September. 23rd.

So, in other words...
NO-ONE can unlock Remember September '44 before September 17th, 2009, in a legit manner.


Sure, they're just achievements...
But you have to admit, these achievements are worth an...

/ EPIC "I JUST WENT BALD CAUSE OF IT" FACEPALM



8 Comments

Collateral Damage

Perhaps you've seen some of the images already... Yeah, I have too much free time. Call it a "comic" if you wish, I just keep it with "A story with pretty pictures :D". What inspired me to do so? The realistic feel the "Film Grain" gives.

The first two pages, still working on the other four.
(Edit: For some reason, the "Prologue" page wont upload. I keep on getting Internal Server Error)

Issue One "The Rogue Four", Page 1.

Issue One "The Rogue Four", Page 2
6 Comments

World in Conflict

I can't stop using the editor... For one, it allows you to screw around with the AI. Rather than leaving the AI to screw the pooch(The Allied AI in WiC is designed so, that if you leave them to battle it out themselves while you level random buildings for a cheap giggle, they start to suck quite bad. The enemy AI however, seems to get even better then. Consider it a pre-taste of Left 4 Dead). The second reason is that it's too damn advanced, everytime you do something, you discover something new.

Though, the whole "BOOOOMMM!!!!!!!" error screen is as old as it can get. 'Tis a shame, cause you can do wonders with that specific editor. It cures cancer, feeds babies in Africa, causes a terrific black hole that will end the world if triggered because some dudes in white wanna find out how we'll all die if triggered... Okay, that was random as hell - My take on combining a map editor with todays news.

Anyway, can someone explain me how I can simply set the images on Giantbomb to, whaddaya call it... "Stand alone", rather than to let them wrap in with the text. Cause the choices I have are; Wrap in text - Right, left or Cancel? The whole blog format gets screwed up if I add some images. Especially, considering that these are huge.

But back to business. The World in Conflict maps require somesort of "backstory". A "reasoning" to why you're gonna tear it all up. Unleash nukes, tanks, the whole deal.

So, I kept it with this:
"DOMINATION - Communist forces settled in the vicinity of the Washington State/Canadian border. We suspect that they want to use the Interstate 5 to slip into the United States, and use the forest paths to sneak further into our country. Stop them from advancing on U.S soil."

Fairly simple, ain't it?

The map itself is far from done. There's a small portion done(R-77) and the interstate is in progress... What more keeps me from finishing it soon, is the ultra-advanced texturing system Massive Ent. has stuffed inthere. Sure, professional as all hell - But user friendly? Like saying "Build the Apollo Spacecraft for NASA, heres what you require, have fun." to Paris Hilton. So, the texturing's gonna be a bitch.

Aside from that, it's a true resource hog. And it's already getting frame-rate dips, while not even a quarter of the map is done yet.

Oh, if you wanna see some updates shots from that Command & Conquer 3 map - Hit the images tab on your left.

By the way, I'm in love with that Eagles song... "

9 Comments

Wondering...

Y'know, if you know me somewhat, you'd know that this November I'm supposed to stand in L.A. with a bunch of PowerPoint presentations of games that might cash in. If you don't know me for a damn, well now you do. I've got a bunch already. KREMLIN, Sins of A Father, Drive or Die, and a bunch more.

Now, what I've been wondering is... I know some people who sort-of do the same thing I do. Write up stuff, and see if it can be transformed into gameplay. Actually, if you'd know me, you'd know I'm shit at asking people for certain things. Especially when I'm asking them to help me out. Wait, crap!

Infact, "help" isn't the word. Consider it, combining forces for something new. Hell, if you're interested or have an idea already... Y'know that little, cute feature by the name of "Personal Messages"? PM me.

If you quickly wanna know what them three I mentioned earler are about, either click them links or for those who don't wanna read a 7-page file or a 43-page file...

KREMLIN's a War FPS set in an alternate timeline around the Soviet Era. The Soviets are doing something behind the U.S' back - And turns out you're on the verge of a nuclear war caused by someone you'd never expect it from.
Sins of a Father is a FPS set around a man by the name of Dwayne Mitchell, a convicted hitman who's willing to overcome his deeds. Once he tries, his past catches up to him. Hard.
Drive Or Die's a third person shooter set in a large open envoirm... Screw that; If you don't know about this one - Your loss. :D
7 Comments

Mercs 2 Impressions

So. Yes.
After waiting for four days, waiting for someone to convince me to finally get this game. For my mind was slowly eating me up, constantly saying "Spend... SPEND!", while the rest of this forsaken world kept saying "Well... It's okay. Get it. Wait, on the other hand, don't.". So, ignorance ahoy and I bought the game as soon as the stores opened.

And I fairly enjoyed the first, cheesy moments of the game...
... 'Til, ehh...

Well, I fell through the goddamn map as I jumped out of my car. And I restarted the game as the last checkpoint was the actual beginning of the game. So, I got back into and started to notice the game's very basic flaws. Some stuff which I hoped they would've considered STANDARD FEATURES by now...

First of all, why can't I crouch? Dude's got kneecaps, why can't I crouch?
Second, car damage practically doesn't exsist. Sure, at 40% HP the car disintegrates - But c'mon, even Just Cause had better damage.
Third, the game reminds me waaaayyyyy too much of Just Cause.
Fourth, while I have to say, the driving is a major improvement from Just Cause, but the cars have no suspension at all. Any bump will either wreck you, or slingshot you away in mid-air.

Okay, I'm being too harsh. Wait, I'm not that harsh. Fuck, I haven't even started yet.
The game has a sad excuse of a resource system; Go and collect oil. Then u can haz airstrike.
The game uses that wretched True Crime penalty system. "YOU KILLED A CIVILLIAN DUDE! >:(". Look, blame me for driving 155MPH, left to right, all over the place on a six-lane expressway. But if only them two motherfucking morons who jumped into my grill are just as wrong as I am. Giving me a 10K penalty is bullshit.

Speaking of idiotic AI...
It's amazing.

I always say in pretty much any game, the AI has the survival instincts of a suicide bomber.
But, really. That statement, really, Pandemedic pwn'd me.

There's these missions for the UP Faction, where you need to catch, or kill a specific person, tucked away in some small village. Sure, I did a few of 'em. Always trying to capture them, as it gives you bonus money and eventually unlocks an achievement.

After two successfull captures, the third target of mine, cooked a grenade, threw it against a fence killed himself.
The fifth target, after capturing another one, he threw a grenade against a oil tanker, which he was standing next to.
The sixth, he jumped off a fucking cliff!

So, there's atleast one achievement I'll never gain. These dudes are suicidal. They kill themselves even before I can reach them.

But the AI is really dumbassed. This time I'm not overreacting. There's these bunkers, inhabbited by an unlimited number of RPG soldiers that fire through small windows. One soldier's aim was so terrific from inside that he blew the building up, killing himself and six others.

All in all, there's alot wrong with this game yes. Alot of glitches, and bugs. Alot of stupid design choices. Shitty driving and flying sections.

But does that make the game any less fun?
No.

Atleast, leveling an entire village with a carpet-bomb, for only one target - Awesome.
Pasting five C4's to your sporty sedan, and bailing it into a oil tanker next to your target - Epic.
Levelling an entire city, and the authorities not giving a damn for it - Win.
World in Conflict styled support, with GTA gameplay - Great.

Meh, can't really speak for anyone when I say it's a great game. But hey, it's a bit like Crackdown with bigger bangs.

6 Comments

Mercenaries 2: World in Flames

Could someone do me a few favors if they have that game, well actually don't need to have it, just knowing the awnsers is fine.

Does anyone have a picture of the map, or just the diameters to the size of it. I've been told five different sizes already. Everytime someone gives me a different number, I get even more curious.

9 Comments

Castle Crashers isn't broken...

Yeah, I totally lured you in with that title, didn't I? You've just proven that people aren't just complaining, but stereotypically bashing the game, because tearing Braid new holes has gone old, and even if it hasn't - You're wrong anyway.

Just to calm your rage down a bit, which is probably caused by the fact that my title totally lured your ass inhere; Castle Crashers is indeed broken. Yes, even I have to admit that. BUT!
Yes, the 'but' that successfully allows me to create a snappy comeback and still, afterall, avenge my loss at trying to say "It's only half broken..."

Don't be such a stereotypical bastard, and use the following words TOGETHER in a sentance, and I'm nice enough to already set them in order for you:
"The", "Online", "Is", "Busted", "True.", "The", "Single-player", "However" and "Isn't".

I've only played the single-player part, as well... Quite frankly, I can't join a single damn match as it will kick me out upon arrival. So, I kept it with the single-player. As... uhh... I had no other choice. But back to the point I'm tryin' to make; I've played as the "Gray Knight" since I unlocked it, and currently I'm at level 27. Not once, has the game frozen on me. Not once, did I come across a glitch. All there's to it is a difficulty level that goes all over the place as if it's the female "time of the month".

From some easy run-through a level with hordes and hordes of enemies, to end up going to the next one where just THREE near-unbeatable enemies come outta' nowhere to tear me a new asshole.

So, the single-player is just fine. Like any other game, there might be a glitch here, and a crash there - But hell, with your "IT ARE BROKEN!" sprees, people now all seem to think "HOLY JESUS! IT'S COMPLETELY BUSTED!". Close, but you're only half right. And to be quite frank, if your reasoning behind wanting to buy it is to play it online, and nothing else - Then I'd be pretty accurate when I say "You miss social skills, don't you?".

The single player's as close as it'll get, and seeing that you've bought the game - Why don't you just calm the hell down, and play the goddamned single player 'til that goddamned patch arrives?

Sure, they released a half-working game.
But, A HALF WORKS!

...You aughta try that half, you ignorant fool. And be fuckin' patient already. Considering that just about any gaming-press website has effectivly tore The Behemoth several new assholes; Mindlessly yelling "ITS TEH FAIL FOR IT ARE FAWKIN BROKEN!" ain't gonna make them piss their pants in fear for the dissapointment you're in right now.

Alright, you're pissed that you've spend fifteen bucks on something that's only half-working.
Lemme counter-bitch to that;

What about those people who spend 65$ on True Crime: New York City, the game where people wrote GUIDES for to avoid glitches?
What about those people that bought Saints Row upon release, for 60$, with the biggest damn lag online since the coming of the internet?
What about those people who bought The Shivering Isles for 30$, and got their entire Oblivion save file deleted seven hours after?
What about those people that spend 800MS points for the Crackdown DLC, that if inmediatly used online after the purchase, deleted their save file?

There was alot of complaining, indeed
But Castle Crashers is a 15$ situation that has gotten more damn attention than ALL FOUR OF THESE!

Seriously.

Get.
The.
Fuck.
Over.
It.

It happened to all of us.
It'll be fixed for all of us.

Oh, and don't bring up that "But we waited for 2 years!" story, or I'll Too Human on your ass. If we're not allowed to complain about the sheer shitty-ness that is Too Human, you, shush about the sheer shitty-ness Castle Crashers' online is.

10 Comments

Why won't you let me edit in peace!?

Alright, anyone who's used World in Conflict's WiCED Editor before, wait... Massive Entertainment found it necessary to think up some clever intial-name for their editor... Anyway, anyone who's used that editor before, would know that the editor has the stability of a thermal nuclear bomb that just fell down fifty staircases.

But after five times, the "BOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!", no lies - The editor actually gives you a window, reading "BOOOOOMMMMM!!!!". After five times, within nine minutes of editing; I'm just thinking to myself - How the hell did they manage to create World in Conflict with this?

Well, it's good to know that Massive Entertainment has prepared themselves to properly shitface the user, am I right?

4 Comments

Bringing politics to Xbox LIVE...

... Is like bringing your ex-girlfriends to a dinner with your current ladyfriend, nicely lined up with name tags.

Seriously. Who's goddamned idea was it to bring the source of biased nonsense to Xbox LIVE? Hell, I'm gonna put the John McCain gamerpic on, join a few games of Uno and see how many times I'll have to yell "JOHN MCCAIN IS A GODDAMNED PATRIOT, YOU COMMIE!".  Well, actually that sounds like a gag worth trying.

Before I continue with this spawl of hatred;
I ain't gonna vote for either McCain nor Obama. Why? Because the fate of this country's beyond fucked. And it'll take alot more than a president full of promises, to undo what the heck we've all done.

But, back to the topic.
If we were to believe Bill O'Reilly, my generation, like those born in the late eighties. We're, according to him, mainly a bunch of druggies who are addicted to Jon Steward and 'His political nonsense.'. Basically, he's trying to say "You listen to him if you wanna know who to vote on", with a very 'I never got kids, so fuck you all' tone. Actually, I'm making no point - But I figured I'd give O'Reilly a tiny shout-out on his political bullshit, for he will yell your ass of the stage.

10 Comments