Damn you, corporate greed.

After having played a good portion... Nearly everything of what GTAIV: The Lost and Damned has to offer, I came to this conclusion:

GET IT THE FUCK OVER ONTO THE PC PRONTO


This might just sound stupid. Hell it does sound stupid. Cause afterall, those corporate bastards who could easily fulfill the role sir Michael Douglas played in Wall Street paid fifty million for this DLC to be made specifically for them. But... With GTAIV PC being Windows LIVE enabled, whom share the very same services with Xbox LIVE, I can't see a single good fuckin' reason for this to stay exclusive. Not even the fifty million. Hell, the PC market is quite small - They're not gonna lose the exclusive BS if they expand it to the very same service that happens to be on the PC... Maybe hardcore fanboys think they will, but it's nothing like a "it goes to Sony" scenario.

But why would I want this DLC on the PC personally? Four reasons:

- One, the PC bitchslaps the X360 graphics wise. What consoles call eye candy, is a fully fledged eye-ball massage and four silky smooth pair of hands giving you a godly backrub while another pair fetches a frosty Buddweiser for the PC.
- Two, video editor. More weapons to screw with, more cops ownage to be taped from all angles.
- Three, soundtrack. Sure, I download any song I need from LimeWire knowing it's illigal as hell, dump them in the designated file, and then listen to Independence FM ingame ironically repeating "You, listening to music you stole off the internet. That is what freedom is all about. This is Independence FM." and then playing my stolen MP3. But if there's a legal asswhooping soundtrack that completely blows the original soundtrack away - I want it.
- Four, I prefer the keyboard-'n-mouse set up. No goddamn clue how that happened or why. I do still suck badly on Crysis if I don't have my X360 controller hooked up, however...

Is this fanboyism? Not really. It's more stupidity, greed and being a fanboy. Cause... I'm willing to buy it twice. I... just want it. And the PC is superior, lolz.


/rant

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When you're bored, and you have OpenOffice loaded up...

... You might as well start making a list of ment-to-be-funny excuses to waste time while waiting for the Lost and Damned to come out.

- I'm no alcoholic, I just enjoy the first seven six packs.
- I'm no robber, I just like to greet the 7-Eleven clerk with a Glock 19.
- I'm no nudist, I just was in a hurry this morning.
- I'm no necropheliac, women are less chatty when in a permanent sleep.
- I'm no gun fanatic, I just like to be patriotic.
- I'm no coffee addict, I just talk really fast.
- I'm no lazy person, I just want to lie down alot.
- I'm no serial killer, I just have bad luck with women.
- I'm no stereotype, I just seem to repeat the same opinion. Alot. With a smile.
- I'm no EMO, Ikea knifes have a mind of their own. So does my left hand.
- I'm no borderliner, I just have very detailed and very passive agressive comebacks.
- I'm no drug addict, it's just because I got high, 'cause I got high, 'cause I got high - Pa-dam bam bam.
- I'm no racist, I just like those ghoul-like bedsheets.
- I'm no dumbass, I just have slightly less witty responses.
- I'm no mobster, I just got made.
- I'm no ventriloquist, I just enjoy talking to a puppet with my fist up it's ass.
- I'm no clerk, I just want a pack of cigs.
- I'm no communist, I just want minions.
- I'm no politician, I just tend to make money vanish with shady reasoning.
- I'm no chronic masturbator, I just stuble upon alot of porn.
- I'm no villain, I just like to be less like Superman.
- I'm no fat-man, I only got free coupons for fifty McDonalds' XXL meals.
- I'm no pack rat, I just like storing worthless shit for the next generation to worry about.
- I'm no drug dealer, I'm only making the suburban housewives less borderline.
- I'm no gangsta, I like to dress in clothes that are seven times my size.
- I'm no liar, I only fix the truth.
- I'm no idiot, I'm just lowering you to my level.
- I'm no bad driver, I just enjoy reenacting NASCAR crashes on the interstate.
- I'm no police officer, I like to make you pay for random shit.
- I'm no tax dodger, Sorry, I have no witty excuse, Mr. Government.
- I'm no burgular, I'm just curious to how other people live.
- I'm no getaway driver, I just have a kick-ass Jason Statham impression.
- I'm no feminist, I just enjoy watching Oprah Winfrey's propaganda.

Meh.

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Some things.

Yes.
Some things.

  • I've finally got all the Half Life games working, considering my wonderful PC died just after I got 'em last time around. And this time I actually got to play 'em! I'm slightly dissapointed. No, not dissapointed with the game. With myself. I seem to run head-first into a wall whenever a simple-as-all-hell puzzle comes up. Also, Opposing Force is worthy of an award when it comes to the script. Even that cheesy-punchline dispenser that is Devil May Cry can't top this.
  • Boobytrapping bodies in Company of Heroes is worth a million.
  • That said, being the asshole type of gamer - It's always more fun to sneak into the enemy's HQ with a British glider, plant it full of C4 and detonate them once they see me. It's the ultimate bitchslap followed by a good kick in the crotch.
  • I've bought FEAR 2 for the Xbox 360(WHAT!? I prefer the controller over a keyboard with shooters...), now I just need a Xbox 360.
  • I'm hoping that Rockstar(and Take2 for that matter) will budge and release the Episodes for the PC too. I'm not asking for a same release date at the X360, I would like it to be around... six months. Rather than A WHOLE FUCKING YEAR(as always with console-to-PC-stuff).
  • Left 4 Dead DLC may be free, it's somewhat dissapointing. It's not much new stuff to a game that is lying on the floor, begging for new content.


That is all.

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KILLZONE 2 GOT PERFECT SCORES!?

I'll be damned.

Well, perfect... It's a superb game from what I've read, getting either straight A's or atleast 9+'s. And knowing the whole console war thing inside out - I somehow don't understand... How is this a bad thing?

From what I can see... It's the more reason to buy a Playstation 3 at some given point if you haven't already. Sure, the steep price, the "for future reference" Blu-Ray and the still somewhat small line-up of games compared to the X360 could still turn you off for now. But heck, isn't it just good that the PS3 is getting more useful for people like say, you and me? The price is already going down, more BluRay films are on sale, more games are making use of the BluRay's huge storage space... And now there's one more quality game that might budge you over the line.

But I guess that's how I look on it. And even when trying to imagine what the hell people intend to say when putting up messages like "10 bucks that Sony paid 'em?" or "Kiss our jolly asses X360 players". I still don't get it...

Perhaps it's sore jealousy. Say, the kid who's saying the X360 will always be superior could very well be in a situation where the parents only allow one console and the kid will have to suck on it should he ever want another - So the little guy unleashes his inner bastard child online and spews crap should there ever be a situation where the enemy recieves the kudos...

'Tis a shame it's a PS3 exclusive. I would've liked it on the PC, or so. But hell, exclusives keep game consoles alive and preform even better.

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Aaaaaand what the hell just happened?

It appears to be that every piece of electric equipment has the overjoyed sense of dying on me within three days. Hell, it's almost certain that the economic crisis has shitcanned my stuff rather than me myself. Talk about strange.

My Xbox 360, which I have note something about is a first generation console. You know, those budget models Microsoft tried to save themselves a couple of pennies with? No? Failure rate of one out of three? Overall percentage of dying being 33 to 36%? Doesn't ring a bell? Ofcourse it does. Now, Microsoft did put 20 million sweet Capitalist monies aside to repair those things one-by-one. But, sadly enough they fix the problem by handing you a new problem.

Every single Xbox 360 you send to 'em with internal hardware issues(Simply put - The 3 red light scenario when shit hits the fan) simply get replaced by a new one. Cause afterall, in terms on money, it would cost even more to manually repair them. You gotta pay the people who repair 'em by hand, you gotta buy in spare parts and the like. It's much cheaper to just invest 20 million's worth of backstock X360's. Sad ironic truth being that those X360s have the same failure rate as the broken piece of molten plastic you send them in the first place.

So, I tried to push my luck a little and try to get it repaired anyway(for free) and then sell it second hand. Spend 25 minutes talking to a guy called Karim(*coughmiddleeasterncallcentrescough*), trying to explain that my Xbox is certainly dead and that turning the console off and on doesnt fix a damn thing. At some point the guy said that I still had warranty. A crock of bullshit, but what the hell. Free repairs. I'll sell it second hand once I get it back.

Now, problem two.
My PC.

The thing has worked for just five hours. I got it back yesterday afternoon. And by 9PM I was already driving the thing back downtown.

It's the same scenario. Still. The thing is borked and it works just about as well as a beater with a 3 foot tall guy driving it. It's a death-trap just waiting to go KABOOOOOOMMM somewhere. I spend 95$ on buying a new HDD cause the person who's fixing it is certain that it was the HDD all along. Seems like it wasn't. Now he thinks it's the motherboard. In the year that I've had the thing, it has never worked properly for over a month. And every part but the Quad-Core processor, the motherboard and the CD/DVD-RW player have not been replaced yet.

On the bright side of things, I did learn a hell of a lot about Windows Troubleshooting. I know nearly all common blue screen error codes... On second thought, I think that's something you shouldn't be proud of, huh...

Anyway, I'm back again on my girlfriend's overly annoying laptop. Whoever designed these touchpad-things as mouse should be shot on sight.

Third, my TV.
It simply stopped working.

Well... It's that I have three brand new Samsung HDTV's sitting here. Otherwise I'd be slightly upset. How'd I get three Samsung LCD's? Places.

Issue four: The mobile transport that is known as a "modern vehicle". I recently sold my car to bag in a little extra money and took over my mother's Chevrolet which she rarely uses. Greedy old crone wanted 200$ for it. Well, it's a common Chevrolet Lumina from the early 90s. It certainly drives like a early 90s Chevrolet cause the moment I popped the hood I saw something that could only have been from a Freddy Krueger movie. I managed to drive the thing across Manhattan before it completely crapped out on me. So now it's in the garage being fixed. Something with the electrical system of the car, I dont know...

Yay for taking the confusing-as-all-hell NYC Subway. It took me three hours to figure out how to get on the PATH to Jersey... After being mentally tortured by a elderly woman who seems to dislike the buses alot. Damn they talk alot... What happened to the whole lets stop talking after you say "I don't know you..."?

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Bai bai Xbawx i wubbd u

Somehow my Xbox fixed itself a day or two ago. Maybe it was me spamming the on-off button like a child with ADHD, maybe it was just letting the alone for a while. I don't know, and for one, it certainly didn't do the future any good. Cause yesterday, as I was playing Call of Duty World at War - The thing started to smell of molten plastic. I thought it was my TV that was running warm after being on for a good six hours. So I figured I'd let both rest.

Now today, I played a bunch of different games. And everytime I opened up the disc-tray, the same smell just bursted out like a fist to the face. I didn't think nothin' off it up until I was playing a little Call of Duty WaW single player... The thing then completely jammed up on me and it started to show a snowstorm of colors on the TV like it was tripping on acid.

It then gave me all forms of Red Lights you can get... When I turn it on, it gives me four. A second later, it gives me the pattern of three.

Ah well, I'm just gonna buy a brand new X360 tomorrow. My warranty expired a while ago anyway.

On the other side of things, I got my PC back after a week or so. The HDD shat itself inside out, some problem related to the thing itself. I don't know. All I'm told is to send it to Samsung and get a refund. Capitalists.

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