Far Cry 2 and Fallout 3 DLC Reviews.

No Love for Hype Rule numbers... Twenty-something and twenty-something.

Far Cry 2 "Fortune Pack"
Price - 800PTS(10$)
Contains -
  • ATV for single-player use
  • Mercedes Unimog All-Terrain Truck(unbranded) for single-player use
  • Silenced 12-Guage Pump-action Shotgun
  • Sawn-off Shotgun(Handgun slot)
  • Scoped Crossbow with explosive arrows(Think Rambo)
  • 4 Online MP Maps
Worth it?: What the fuck do you think? Hell naw.
Review: To keep it short and bluntly - I don't care who made the game, I don't care about the multiplayer maps being utterly useless thanks to a map-editor being in the game to begin with, all I care for at this moment is how in the hell did this end up costing 10$?

The ATV is fun to use, yeah. But is rare to come across and enemies are not scripted to enter one, so they'll attempt to take cover behind it as if it's a barrel or something. Same goes for the Unimog, which I've found maybe three times in total. The Sawn-off Shotgun is useless beyond imagination, it feels like it shoots air rather than bullets. It has TWO Shotgun shells in the damn thing, why doesn't it do any damage, not even upclose?

The best thing about the entire pack must be the combo between the Silenced Shotgun and the Crossbow. The Shotgun lasts as long as an AK-47 and it packs a hell of a punch and the crossbow ofcourse is a nod to Rambo II. It is silent, and explodes on impact.

Then there's four more multiplayer maps. But did we really have to pay for these? There's a superior map editor in the game itself where we can create identical maps with for free, and share them on the Ubisoft servers.

Now, getting back to the weapons for a second - You can pick 'em up at any time at the Weapons Shop, free of charge. So, if you're willing to start the game over but can't be assed to roll around with the peashooter-starters weapons. But aside from that, the weapons become rather dated near the end of the game. Perhaps not the crossbow, but there's better stealth weapons and the sawn-off is outmatched by anything but the .45 Pistol.


Fallout 3 "Operation: Anchorage"
Price - 800PTS(10$...again)
Contains -
  • A new area.
  • 4 new quests.
  • 100 additional Achievement Points.
  • A handfull of new characters.
  • A bundle of new equipment...
  • ... You get the idea.
Worth it?: Can't judge for you. It's short, but good.
Review: The first of three DLC packages to come for Fallout 3... If I have to take Bethesda's word for it. It's a chapter out of the old Fallout books - The liberation of Anchorage, Alaska from the Japanese Communists. Or... Chinese. I forgot. I guess they're all evil in the game's world so what the hell. All in all, you need to kill alot of them while walking over the icey grounds of Alaska.

You take a few artillery positions out, then some Chinese/Japanese villages and running through some trenches to victory. All in all, it's not something you'd love to do twice. To which the biggest flaw(for many, I guess, I can live with it) - You can't enter the simulation again. Once you've done it, you're done. You need to start a new game if you want to head back into Alaska. So it doesn't form something new to the game world.

Upon completing it, you get a bunch of goodies which you couldn't pick up in the Anchorage world(the game uses a whole different system when it comes to looting in there) from the Armory in the dig-site.

To sum it up, it's not a crazy amount of DLC. It's roughly four hours long, gives you a set of special armor, a overpowered weapon that one-hit-kills with common ammo(which is good, ofcourse) and some insight on those newspaper cutouts you see in loading screens. The DLC sort-of plays like a Call of Duty 4 game, cause you basically gun your way to the objective with AI allies around you.

I enjoyed it while it lasted. If you have the money to spare, go for it.
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The Resident Evil 5 Demo...

I shall now quote the coop session I had a few hours ago. My dearest crack addicted pal Anarchyzombie9 and I tried to play the demo. I never ever have played a single RE game and I can't deny that I'm horrible, and he... well, he's not the best guide you can ask for.

First time noticing that you have to work as a team...
________________________________________________
Anarchyzombie9: Stay away from the ledge so I can snipe him.
BraindeadRacr: How do I preform knife attacks?
Anarchyzombie9: There's one sneaking up to you on your right - BAM!
BraindeadRacr: These controls are so goddamn Japanese.
Anarchyzombie9: Man you suck...
BraindeadRacr: JESUS THEY'RE ALL OVER ME! HOW DO I KNIFE ATTACK FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!

The "villagers" come at you with a selection of axes and beer bottles...
_________________________________________________
Anarchyzombie9: Ahh he just broke a bottle on my head. Racism!
BraindeadRacr: UPPERCUT.

There's a part where the rugged American stud informs a certain Kirk of the situation.

__________________________________________________
Anarchyzombie9: The villagers are hostile!? DIDNT NOTICE AT ALL.
BraindeadRacr: NU-HUH.

In the same chapter, we tried holing up into the building until the big guy-boss thing comes up...
__________________________________________________
BraindeadRacr: Watch the door, I'll cover the window.
Anarchyzombie9: *bashes the door out* God I love doing that...
BraindeadRacr: Just watch that side...
Anarchyzombie9: *Help sign* He beat me with a bottle!
Anarchyzombie9: OHHH UPPERCUT.

Also, there's a lovely way of how the game treats packrats. Y'know, the people who nick all the ammo and leave you dry. It does nothing, you gotta deal with it.
__________________________________________________
Anarchyzombie9: You took all the pistol ammo? You dick.
BraindeadRacr: You have a shotgun, so fuck you.
Anarchyzombie9: IT HAS SIX SHOTS!
BraindeadRacr: Well, I have a sniper rifle which is useless.
Anarchyzombie9: Fuck you NJ.

When blaming one another for our deaths
__________________________________________________
Anarchyzombie9: You suck, man.
BraindeadRacr: I revived you NINE times!
Anarchyzombie9: Anyone around in this party who has the Resident Evil 5 demo and who doesn't suck?
BraindeadRacr: I'm the one playing as a damn woman, with a fucking useless sniper rifle, and you died.
Anarchyzombie9: You still suck, man.
BraindeadRacr: Lemme play as the dude with the shotgun.

Three minutes later...
___________________________________________________
Anarchyzombie9: I told you to use the shotgun ammo!
BraindeadRacr: No, no, no... You told me to save the shotgun ammo.
Anarchyzombie9: Yeah, for a time when it could be useful!
BraindeadRacr: You told me to wait until the big dude came out!
Anarchyzombie9: He did, didn't he now?
BraindeadRacr: I was being attacked! Where the fuck were you!?
Anarchyzombie9: Hidin'.
BraindeadRacr: Let's play Castle Crashers.

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The Eight Year Old from Hell Returns.

I knew that at some given point, the FEAR 2 demo should be on the Marketplace... I didn't have a damn clue when that was.

So, browsing through the Marketplace which never has anything on it but lists of songs. Speaking of Rock Band/Singstar-whatever-the-fuck-its-called/GH DLC - Make a seperate category for those fuckers already. The entire "New Arrivals" tab is flooded by songs that are all listed one-by-one. There's already a seperate section for DLC Songs, but now just seperate those tons of songs from the mainstream DLC and give them their own New Arrivals section, or something.

But, anyway...

So, yes. I wasn't the biggest fan of the first FEAR. Which in my opinion was great in the first few levels, but turned into a boring drag for the rest of the game. Hell I even looked the ending up on YouTube cause I knew I would never be assed to actually get to that point. The entire game can be summed up in a couple of lines;

  • Office spaces.
  • Vents.
  • Big puddles of blood, indicating someone has a massive nose bleed or a few women hit that time of the month suddenly.
  • Cheap scares.
  • Some well executed scares.
  • Extremely freaky shit with hallways turning into some black void with some creepy dude walking to you.

Now it seems that those devs have listened to us. Cause the impressions I got from the FEAR 2 demo were the complete opposite of what I felt while playing FEAR. Allow me to nick that bulletpoint thing once more:

  • First off; This game picks up at the so-stolen-from-Half Life 2-ending - The part where the city gets assploded because Alma did it for the lulz.
  • I don't know whether Alma has the mental capability of crapping a nuke out - But the city is in such bad condition... she has some powers.
  • I noticed first off that the game sort-of starts outside - Fixed the biggest issue of FEAR already; The lack of ... outside.
  • The game is so damn brutal. Shit, Gears 2 eat your heart out. Believe me, ask Sgt. Fox. *gasp*
  • The whole "We'll turn hallways into your worst enemy" thing has been revamped. And they're much more dramatic.
  • Also worth saying: The first level is through a school. Yeah, when you think about it.... Ain't that screwed up?
  • The AI is still great as ever. Kicking over stuff to take cover, shotgunner keeping me busy while a dude with a SMG flanks me, you name it.
  • The game makes more use out of the envoirment; Cover for one. Kicking over tables/lockers/etc. to reload behind or so.
  • Another thing: Check the Men's Room in the school. Some dude has met a crappy fate in the crapper, man.
  • The thing that I don't like is... Mech-suits. What. The. Hell.


Anyway...
Yes, I'm buying this game. I'm sold.
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The Mute Myth with a Beard.

Finally got my Half Life: Anthology pack in the mail today, which I ordered a couple o' days before Christmas last year. Half Life, Half Life: Blue Shift, Half Life: Opposing Force and Team Fortress Classic. :D

Impressions later.

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Bob's Game? WTF R GOIN ONNN!?

You know, I'm always kind of late when it comes to Nintendo. And that's for a couple of reasons:

- Nintendo is so rich, they could very well buy Belgium, the Moon and all your base. But they won't. Those bastards.
- Nintendo is oftenly a victim of very random insults that make no sense at all. Which doesn't make any sense. And neither did that.
- The Wii sucked.

But there's all this rambling about this Bob fella who has a sick obsession with this Reggie fella' who caused this Bob fella' to go mentally haywire about this Reggie fella' who then caused this Bob fella' to close himself into his closet for 100 days... Who then caused this Reggie fella' to become a well known conspiracy theorist. Who eventually turned out to be this Bob fella'...

ITS TOO DAMN MUCH!
WTF R GOIN ONN!?
THIS. IS. SPARTA!

Anyway.

Allow me to quote some stuff that potentially could blow your mind.
Literally.
Seriously.

--------------------
"Sometime in the next 20 days, I am going to reveal information with the potential to completely destroy Nintendo, simply for my own enjoyment.

Do you hear me, Mr. Iwata? Mr. Miyamoto? Mr. Yamauchi?
I know the truth.
Why don't you ask NOA? I told the entire company everything on day 10.
I even told them about THAT a month ago.
Don't tell me they didn't tell you! Those fools!"

---------------------
Nintendo then replied with: "You can't destroy us. We are God. We have that what is unpronounceable last names. We are Yuu.".
That was my sad attempt at fucking quotes up. Screw you.


Hell, his entire website is filled with this hatred against Nintendo. For as far as I'm aware, he's the Leeroy Jenkins of Nintendo. He's there to sprawl endless bullshit to make your mind go "KAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM". Heck, either this guy is a skilled conspiracy theorist or one hell of a bullshitter with some game developing skills. (Note: He does make some interesting stuff, afterall.)

And all this guy wants to have is the SDK from Nintendo.
Which is kinda like Adam and Eve asking God for a condom.
It's not gonna happen, it's not gonna work and YOURE DOING IT WRONG!

Allow me to quote something else, it's from three days ago. And if you haven't read this(like yours truely), you're late to the party. Like yours truely.

--------------------
"This is the end of my pitch to Nintendo of America- which Mr. Tom Prata, Senior Director of Project Development, authorized on Feb 22, 2008.
Thanks to all Nintendo staff and to Nintendo's PR department for allowing this to continue as long as it has.

If Nintendo decides not to proceed, "bob's game"
will be released for iPhone, Android, and possibly OpenPandora, XBLA, Steam, and PSP.
I am a Nintendo fan, and I would like to see
"bob's game"
released on the Nintendo DS more than any of these systems.
Please
let Nintendo knowif you would like to show your support for "bob's game" being released on the DS.

In this age of nearly infinite information flow and instant turnover, getting a message out there is nearly impossible, even with millions of dollars for advertising.
Yet I have succeeded at this and caught the attention of nearly the entire online gaming world- from a locked room with a cell phone and no budget whatsoever.

If this does not demonstrate to Nintendo the determination, passion, creativity, and ingenuity that I am capable of, then I don't know what will.

Unorthodox, of course. I had to do something completely new, something that hadn't been tried before- and it worked.
bobsgame.com has now had over 1 million unique visitors. My mission has been a success.
In other words,
Thank Yuu for playing.

THANKS,
REGGIE!"
--------------------

Nintendo then replied with: "Determination, creativity and ingenuity is not what Nintendo is nor is what Nintendo seeks. Bob, we have been pumping the life out of the same little plumber for nearly twenty-four years. Where the hell have you been?".
Yes.


And this seems to be from yesterday...

--------------------
It turns out it was, in fact, aliens.
--------------------
Nintendo then replied with: "WHAAATTTHHEEFUUUCCKKKKBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM*nuclear explosion*/*Bang on the Drum all day starts playing*".
Oh yes.





In the end, having a go at trying to get back at all of... this.
I see one desperate motherfucker who's about to go WHAAATTTHHEEFUUUCCKKKKBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM*nuclear explosion*/*Bang on the Drum all day starts playing*.

... Maybe I just don't understand this madness.
Maybe he really just wants the SDK and goes off like a MySpace addict.

Maybe it was Reggie afterall. Deep-throat, eat your fucking heart out.

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Sgt. Reznov > MacMillian > Chuck Norris.

Aye... GameFAQs is at it again. Around a year ago, the McMillian meme was unstoppable. Now, Sgt. Reznov has stopped him. A brief selection of the Call of Duty: World at War board:

  • Sgt. Reznov was the sole purpose why the Soviets came first in the space race. All he had to do was throw the rocket upwards.
  • Sgt. Reznov doesn't need an index finger. His gun fires for him when he commands it it.
  • Sgt. Reznov could easily spit in Captain MacMillian's direction killing both MacMillian and Chuck Norris.
  • Sgt. Reznov is a Panzershreck.
  • Sgt. Reznov died proudly. He forgot to turn off Martyrdom in the Middle East some 60 years in the future though... He respawned 6 second later though.
  • After WW2, Stalin never did have the KGB at all. Instead, it was Sgt. Reznov who did all the mass murdering.
  • Sgt. Reznov doesn't pay for Geico, they pay him to use it.
  • Tabun Gas is code for Sgt. Reznov's fart in a can.
  • Sgt. Reznov was the man piloting the helicopter that smashed MacMillian's leg. He wanted to stop his competition.
  • Sgt. Reznov was not born into this universe. This universe was born into Sgt. Reznov
  • Sgt. Reznov played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun, and won.
  • A long time ago, Reznov lost his finger. It then exploded. We all know this event as the Big Bang.
  • Sgt. Reznov can kill two stones with one bird.
  • Sgt. Reznov can speak braille.
  • The great wall of China was built not to keep the Mongols out, but to keep Reznov in.
  • All the Yes album covers are Reznov family photos.
  • Sgt. Reznov got his wife pregnant, and she gave birth to a delicious sixteen ounce steak. The afterbirth was sautéed mushrooms.
  • Burger King's slogan cannot be trademarked because it belongs only to Sgt. Reznov, according to common sense.
  • One time Reznov had a bad case of diarrhea. It became known as the Asteroid Belt, and the Kuiper Belt.
  • Sgt. Reznov once got a hold of the common cold.
  • The Arizona crater was caused by Sgt. Reznov playing golf. He claimed it was a hole in one.
  • The Chernobyl disaster is Sgt. Reznov.
  • Sgt. Reznov was the gun Adolf Hitler shot himself with.
  • Gary Oldman is voiced by Sgt. Reznov.
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Beat Call of Duty WaW on Veteran.

Yup, two controllers and lots of anger later I managed to pull off the last two of these wretched chapters. Burn 'Em Out and Relentless. Burn 'em Out went suprisingly easy once I figured out how you can push the AI forward with the flamethrower(The AI's programmed so that they won't advance if you're not advancing.). Literally putting a fire beneath their asses makes them run and charge...

Which is great cause neither Polonsky nor Roebuck can die because of gunfire/grenades/etc. So they kill the guys that are camping you out.

I was stuck on Relentless for a while cause I ran out of smoke grenades on a part where you pretty much need 'em. But eventually I charged in and managed to survive, somehow. Nabbing a checkpoint. I need three more achievements; Iron Fist(Destroy all bunkers/towers in Blood & Iron), Graverobber(Collect all deathcards, I need 3 more but I know where to find 'em) and Blue Ribbon(Getting in 1st in a 4-player competitive coop).

There's also two zero-pointers for going prestige once and ten times... But I never will prestige. I didn't do it in CoD4, nor will I do it in WaW. I'm already lvl 65 and I'm enjoying my overpowered M1A1.

Also... If you wanna play online coop with me. (For the achievement or not, doesn't matter). The tag's BraindeadRacr.
And Dboy-Denny, you n' I are playing coop today, if not tomorrow. That's a order, pal.

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Treyarch, take your time...

We'll deal with the fact that everybody can get underneath the map and become partially unbeatable by just riding a garage door for a few seconds like a horny dog. We'll deal with the fact that maybe just one or two of nearly ten to twelve maps are actually waterproof against glitches. We'll deal with the fact that most of the weapon balancing is done by a blind fool. We'll deal with the fact that tanks are practically immune to anything and take way too many rockets/C4/Stickies to take out.

But hey, who am I to complain about issues that have been in the online part of the game since the beta?

Also, if I'm not bringing any solutions...

  • Make the blue void underneath maps instantly kill players. It's a matter of X.Y.Z. scaling the map and adding killtriggers to it. Patchable.
  • The map glitches lined up: Seelow wall-glitch(outside the map), Downfall trench-glitch(outside the map), Makin immunity-stone glitch(gets the player into a rock which is bulletproof from the outside), Roundhouse wall-glitch(underneath the map, anyone can pull this off...), Roundhouse train-glitch(Bit like the stone glitch, happens when someone pushes an ally into the train), Cliffside floating-glitch(somehow puts the player above the map, while you can kill him easily, it's y'know... You dont go looking for someone floating 40FT above you...) and a couple more but I forgot the map names.
  • There's also a glitch with the machine gun: If you use the bi-pod and hold a certain button, it'll give the weapon unlimited ammo. It'll keep on firing until you release the trigger(basically, you can use that with deep penetration and just bullet-spam the walls for cheap kills.).
  • Make tanks team-bound, cause as soon as one team gets a hold of ALL FOUR tanks. You're doomed.
  • Also, tanks shouldn't take more than 4 RPG shots without Fireworks. It takes 6-7 shots before it finally blows.
  • Another thing - Fix the spawn system. While I guess it's possible to respawn on a martyrdom, or respawn in a firefight... It happens way too often. Even on the larger maps, you spawn not more than 10 feet away from the enemy. It's also way too common for the guy who you just killed to respawn right infront of you.
 
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