By BraindeadRacr 15 Comments
Yeah, score one for senseless cursing. Suck on it. You see, I'm about as active as a 95 year old heart-patient who's expected to run fifty laps a day. I'm borderline dead in terms of... 'blogging'. So hai-dee-ho I opened the valves of the "moan-a-lot" river and crank out some mini-reviews for the games I had to shovel down. No literally, shovel into a concrete ground. Did I lose your attention yet? No? Yes? GOOD!
24: ConvictionOh sh--See wut I did thar? Yeah, while I'm a bit on the pro side of the "WHERES MAH STEALTH" pick-a-side-contest - There's this feeling as if the writers got fired 2 seconds into development and replaced by Prison Break writers and some visionaries of the 24 staff and turned the game into a downright Jack Bauer take on Splinter Cell with more conspiracy theories than Prison Break could ever wish for.
While there's this feeling of "Alright, he's out - We need him back in" to it - What the hell is Sam Fisher doing in the middle of goddamn nowhere? For a stealth-master who's got more badassery totalled than every Jason Bourne movie combined, he sure has one shitty pension plan.
Regardless of that, stealth is optional. Ya'hear that? Optional. You got a selection of 4 silenced weapons, 1 that proves useful in the end of the game and a bazillion others that you could use in the situation of "Awwhhh crap D:" - Which the game now motivates you to do. What am I talking about? I'm talking about the effectiveness of blasting every poor son of a bitch in a five mile radius with a Mossberg 500 to the face :).
By the end of the game your weapon set-up will include a FN Five-seveN and a difficult pick between the UMP45, MP5S, M468 or SPAS12. Why? Cause they're the only silenced weapons and for some reason only the 5-7 is capable of taking out four dudes at once. The rest all do three or less, go figure.
That brings me to the next... 'complaint'. While there's something oh-so-satisfying to taking out four guys with perfect headshots as they one-by-one go "WHAT THE...", it's not much of a tool for where things get hairy, as it's a tool for your leisure. The game throws you guards who verbally oppose the P.M.C. Be-Brave-And-Smart ideal who are already ridiciously easy to blast down - Who yell at the walls for 10 minutes(No shit either, I tried to get the 10-minute evade challenge and they were still yelling "COME ON FISHER!") because they faintly know you're there and who will forever circle a spot cause you were there...
... at some point.
What I ment before I drifted off is; It's too easy. The challenge of being a master of the dark is now a point-and-click pwn-a-entire-mercenary-company-in-under-five-minutes. The game is also rather short, and even then it's saving grace - The online. It's rather shoddy. While it's a nice concept and the whole co-op ordeal works fine and dandy; Face-Off has to be one of the most annoying game modes ever. Try to complete a match without the shitbag leaving, I dare ya'.
Seen nothing but complaining here? It's what I do. I moan for a living, I write about stuff as if it's the spawn of Satan and talk about as if it's a gift of God. We call that duality, dudes...