A entirely negative mini-review of Conviction :D

Yeah, score one for senseless cursing. Suck on it. You see, I'm about as active as a 95 year old heart-patient who's expected to run fifty laps a day. I'm borderline dead in terms of... 'blogging'. So hai-dee-ho I opened the valves of the "moan-a-lot" river and crank out some mini-reviews for the games I had to shovel down. No literally, shovel into a concrete ground. Did I lose your attention yet? No? Yes? GOOD!
 

24: Conviction

Oh sh--See wut I did thar? Yeah, while I'm a bit on the pro side of the "WHERES MAH STEALTH" pick-a-side-contest - There's this feeling as if the writers got fired 2 seconds into development and replaced by Prison Break writers and some visionaries of the 24 staff and turned the game into a downright Jack Bauer take on Splinter Cell with more conspiracy theories than Prison Break could ever wish for.
 
While there's this feeling of "Alright, he's out - We need him back in" to it - What the hell is Sam Fisher doing in the middle of goddamn nowhere? For a stealth-master who's got more badassery totalled than every Jason Bourne movie combined, he sure has one shitty pension plan.
 
Regardless of that, stealth is optional. Ya'hear that? Optional. You got a selection of 4 silenced weapons, 1 that proves useful in the end of the game and a bazillion others that you could use in the situation of "Awwhhh crap D:" - Which the game now motivates you to do. What am I talking about? I'm talking about the effectiveness of blasting every poor son of a bitch in a five mile radius with a Mossberg 500 to the face :).
 
By the end of the game your weapon set-up will include a FN Five-seveN and a difficult pick between the UMP45, MP5S, M468 or SPAS12. Why? Cause they're the only silenced weapons and for some reason only the 5-7 is capable of taking out four dudes at once. The rest all do three or less, go figure.
 
That brings me to the next... 'complaint'. While there's something oh-so-satisfying to taking out four guys with perfect headshots as they one-by-one go "WHAT THE...", it's not much of a tool for where things get hairy, as it's a tool for your leisure. The game throws you guards who verbally oppose the P.M.C. Be-Brave-And-Smart ideal who are already ridiciously easy to blast down - Who yell at the walls for 10 minutes(No shit either, I tried to get the 10-minute evade challenge and they were still yelling "COME ON FISHER!") because they faintly know you're there and who will forever circle a spot cause you were there...
 
... at some point.
 
What I ment before I drifted off is; It's too easy. The challenge of being a master of the dark is now a point-and-click pwn-a-entire-mercenary-company-in-under-five-minutes. The game is also rather short, and even then it's saving grace - The online. It's rather shoddy. While it's a nice concept and the whole co-op ordeal works fine and dandy; Face-Off has to be one of the most annoying game modes ever. Try to complete a match without the shitbag leaving, I dare ya'.
 
Seen nothing but complaining here? It's what I do. I moan for a living, I write about stuff as if it's the spawn of Satan and talk about as if it's a gift of God. We call that duality, dudes...
15 Comments
15 Comments
Posted by BraindeadRacr

Yeah, score one for senseless cursing. Suck on it. You see, I'm about as active as a 95 year old heart-patient who's expected to run fifty laps a day. I'm borderline dead in terms of... 'blogging'. So hai-dee-ho I opened the valves of the "moan-a-lot" river and crank out some mini-reviews for the games I had to shovel down. No literally, shovel into a concrete ground. Did I lose your attention yet? No? Yes? GOOD!
 

24: Conviction

Oh sh--See wut I did thar? Yeah, while I'm a bit on the pro side of the "WHERES MAH STEALTH" pick-a-side-contest - There's this feeling as if the writers got fired 2 seconds into development and replaced by Prison Break writers and some visionaries of the 24 staff and turned the game into a downright Jack Bauer take on Splinter Cell with more conspiracy theories than Prison Break could ever wish for.
 
While there's this feeling of "Alright, he's out - We need him back in" to it - What the hell is Sam Fisher doing in the middle of goddamn nowhere? For a stealth-master who's got more badassery totalled than every Jason Bourne movie combined, he sure has one shitty pension plan.
 
Regardless of that, stealth is optional. Ya'hear that? Optional. You got a selection of 4 silenced weapons, 1 that proves useful in the end of the game and a bazillion others that you could use in the situation of "Awwhhh crap D:" - Which the game now motivates you to do. What am I talking about? I'm talking about the effectiveness of blasting every poor son of a bitch in a five mile radius with a Mossberg 500 to the face :).
 
By the end of the game your weapon set-up will include a FN Five-seveN and a difficult pick between the UMP45, MP5S, M468 or SPAS12. Why? Cause they're the only silenced weapons and for some reason only the 5-7 is capable of taking out four dudes at once. The rest all do three or less, go figure.
 
That brings me to the next... 'complaint'. While there's something oh-so-satisfying to taking out four guys with perfect headshots as they one-by-one go "WHAT THE...", it's not much of a tool for where things get hairy, as it's a tool for your leisure. The game throws you guards who verbally oppose the P.M.C. Be-Brave-And-Smart ideal who are already ridiciously easy to blast down - Who yell at the walls for 10 minutes(No shit either, I tried to get the 10-minute evade challenge and they were still yelling "COME ON FISHER!") because they faintly know you're there and who will forever circle a spot cause you were there...
 
... at some point.
 
What I ment before I drifted off is; It's too easy. The challenge of being a master of the dark is now a point-and-click pwn-a-entire-mercenary-company-in-under-five-minutes. The game is also rather short, and even then it's saving grace - The online. It's rather shoddy. While it's a nice concept and the whole co-op ordeal works fine and dandy; Face-Off has to be one of the most annoying game modes ever. Try to complete a match without the shitbag leaving, I dare ya'.
 
Seen nothing but complaining here? It's what I do. I moan for a living, I write about stuff as if it's the spawn of Satan and talk about as if it's a gift of God. We call that duality, dudes...
Edited by Kyreo

I'm imagining you walking into an office sitting down at a desk after you've punched in your time card and Moaning, loudly, until the end of the workday. 

Posted by BraindeadRacr

And get paid a boatload of cash for it every month! 'Tis a life, I tell ya.

Posted by ScubaStoobie

Chuckle inducing. Fairly accurate as well. It's definitely not a splinter cell game anymore. It's an action-y third person shooter with optional "stealth" aspects and flashy hollywood stuntsmanship. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing about the game that isn't awesome it's just not very realistic in any way really. Sam Fisher is an invincible super hero now.

Posted by Kombat
@Kyreo said:
" I'm imagining you walking into an office sitting down at a desk after you've punched in your time card and Moaning, loudly, until the end of the workday.  "
I lol'd
Posted by BraindeadRacr
@ScubaStoobie said:
" Chuckle inducing. Fairly accurate as well. It's definitely not a splinter cell game anymore. It's an action-y third person shooter with optional "stealth" aspects and flashy hollywood stuntsmanship. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing about the game that isn't awesome it's just not very realistic in any way really. Sam Fisher is an invincible super hero now. "
Although I must admit, capping two slugs into the Vice-Presidents kneecaps felt like something every man wanted to do atleast once in their life. Not counting that, it's about as Hollywood as Sam Fisher's five o' clock shadow. Agreein' with ya' completely.
Edited by JasonDaPsycho

Comparing with season 8's less-than-acceptable-quality-even-for-TV-shows-in-Hong-Kong, this is like nothing.
 
Oh wait, you're talking about Splinter Cell...
My bad.

Posted by Claude

That sucks, I kind of liked the demo. I didn't want to buy it or anything. I quit playing Splinter Cell after Chaos Theory.

Posted by W0lfbl1tzers
@ScubaStoobie: You, sir, have the greatest Avatar in the history of Avatars!
Posted by ScubaStoobie
@W0lfbl1tzers: Wow really? I was totally unaware that anyone else in the universe actually liked that show. Awesome to know I'm not alone.
Edited by Ghostiet

While I find the change of Conviction's gameplay refreshing, I also think they did that turn way too fucking late. Double Agent was crap in my opinion, very much because the Chaos Theory mechanics never worked in that game. It's not much of a risk to change the direction of a game when you previously drive right into a wall, you know.

Also, Goddamn, Fisher is an annoyingly destroyed character. His only reaction to the total train wreck his life has become is shooting people in the face, which he has done before. There's not even a drive in what he's doing, for a moment we don't see Sam Fisher as a broken man on the edge of his sanity, who is doing all this shit probably only to shoot himself in the head in the end. No, instead of pulling a Max Payne/Frank Castle/Kratos, he's just running around like he's got diarrhea and everyone in his path is blocking his way to the toilets.


And hire those writers to get a fucking consistent plot. Even without the utterly dumb "moral" dilemmas from DA, Conviction is just a fuckfest for anyone who has a brain. Who is this Tom Reed guy? If Victor Coste is Sam's best friend, why we never met or heard about him before? Where the hell is Williams, a major player in Double Agent and Essentials, now he isn't even mentioned despite his obvious machinations? Why is Grim suddenly a cold-hearted bitch sitting in the field, though she spent the previous four games sitting behind a desk? God.

Posted by Baillie

Game is too easy? Play it on realistic.

Posted by OutOfBounds9000

Posted by BraindeadRacr
@Baillie said:
" Game is too easy? Play it on realistic. "
For the most part, realistic only seems to change the reaction times to the people noticing you. Other than that, still a cake walk.
Edited by Baillie
@BraindeadRacr said:

" @Baillie said:

" Game is too easy? Play it on realistic. "
For the most part, realistic only seems to change the reaction times to the people noticing you. Other than that, still a cake walk. "
Which is a big thing in a stealth game. You haven't completed it on realistic, so it's clearly not a cake walk.