By BraindeadRacr 0 Comments
And by God cue the spoiler tags... I've come to realise I'm shit at stealth. Not because I can't do it, or because it's incovenient or I can't think outside the box. It's simply because of the fact that the game basically gives you the you-could-do-it-buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut routine. You cooooooooooooooooooouuulllllllllllllllld empty out that shitIP I mean VIP club the Hive by strategically entering the backrooms through the sewers and hacking the doorcodes. You coooooooooouuuuuuuuuuulllllllllldddddd sneak your way up the fourth floor of the Detroit PD HQ and snag the documents quietly.
You coooou-AH FUCK IT.
What did I do? Lets see photographic evidence.
The problem is that I'm given... A shotgun, a SMG, an assault rifle, a sniper rifle and just two stun weapons. Then there's the whole "But you're supposed to take the long route to get more stuff!". No you clean the damn house, loot, scower and THEN get the very same goodies you'd normally get throughout stealthing. It's also more effective, nets you the same rewards and the game basically throws you eighteen times more shotgun ammo per box of stun gun darts.
That and the fact that Adam Jensen is the least charismatic person in the goddamn world. Spyboy as Flygirl so eloquently calls him is about as charismatic as a tapedeck in a old musty car. I mean he's got a nice voice actor and nicely scripted lines but he has a severe case of Steven Seagal emotions. For instance when he's fighting with David Sarif about how his pre-Sarif Industries past was mostly a big fuckapalooza, he's Steven Seagal angry. When he's talking to a friend who is paranoid as balls, he's Steven Seagal skeptical. When he's flatout being flirted at by Flygirl, he's Steven Seagal aroused. When he's being told by a gang banger that his friend got murdered, he's Steven Seagal sad with his baww-worthy line "Yeah rip.".
So moving on from Adam Jensen having the same emotion scale as a dead person(lolstory), I won't even go on about the boss fights which by now have been beaten so hard and thoroughly that by now it's picking on a
wounde--brutally murdered stag. Instead I'mma give the game shit for the ending. Plot twists aside, afterall they've turned the first one-third of the game useless. The ending is so godforsaken lazy and stupid that it made me feel like I was being trolled by the very fake media bitch that was trolling me about her damn being a hologram.
It came down to four extremely black-on-white choices. And all of 'em gave you stock footage nicked from the backrooms at ITV and CBS with some flyovers by some dude who loves the ocean. Oh don't forget the ending where you can trust humanity to not give the slightest bit of a fuck by killing yourself and everyone who was involved in the most dastardly plan designed to ruin augmentations.
Problem is that none of the endings made me feel like I should... care. I took the ending which had everyone die cause I didn't realise the walk-away-from-choice-buttons is certain death. I was clearly told but my lack of giving a damn had me drifting off to the suicide button.
Also is it just me or is the villain of this game of Bond quality? Overly complicated plan to ruin his creation that can be changed back by a mere lie to the media FOX News style. Oh what the hell... I guess the story had to make that 'care for humanity' turn at one point, Human Revolution is the game's name afterall.