What (Call of Duty) Modern Warfare 2 must have and what not.

A nice little list with eye-comforting numbers.

What it needs:

  1. Communists.
  2. Russia displayed as evil bastards who stole the Space Race victory from us.
  3. Americans displayed as warm-hearted stereotypes who stroke puppies with one hand and shoot enemies with the other.
  4. Apple pie.
  5. British S.A.S.
  6. World War I mustache on Lt. Price is a must.
  7. DONT EVER NAME THE COUNTRY THAT IS DISPLAYED AS EVIL.
  8. See number 7; Russia.
  9. See number 7; Iraq.
  10. See number 7; Afghanistan.
  11. Martyrdom. Martyrdom. Martyrdom.
  12. The god almighty M16 rifle.
  13. The god almighty rifle that isn't the M16 but is even better; AK-47.
  14. Golden trim for my über shotgun.
  15. Gore.
  16. Last stand for giggles.
  17. Desert Eagle .50 pistol.
  18. StG/MP44 Rifle for old time's sake.
  19. Russian babble CoD fanboys will stroke their balls over for months.
  20. A one-armed bad-ass who looks like he ran headfirst into sixty walls who also is Russian.
  21. Another one-armed bad-ass who looks like he ran headfirst into sixty walls, but then American.
  22. Fifty thousand people used to live here...
  23. ... Now it's a ghost town.
  24. MOAR MCMILLIAN!
  25. More explosives.
  26. The lovely yells when you throw a grenade or place a claymore when playing as Spetsnaz; "PLAACCIIINN CLAAAYMAWWRRR".
  27. Longer single player campaign with a bad ass who takes on entire armies while having a extremely fruity name. Soapy dropped the Soap.
  28. Gaz.
  29. Multiplayer must be the same as Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare and even better.
  30. See 29 or mass riot will erupt.
  31. See 29 once again...
  32. 29... Make. It. Happen.
  33. If it doesn't, apple pie will be fed to Russian.

What it doesn't need.

  1. Tanks.
  2. Anti-tank grenades.
  3. A setting somewhere between the birth of Christ and the Vietnam War.
  4. Multiplayer balanced so well, that SMG's effectively outmatch anything else.
  5. Pistols that shatter Kevlar like glass.
  6. Treyarch as a Call of Duty game developer.
  7. Bayonets.
  8. Tanks.
  9. Machine-gewehren 1940.
  10. Did I mention tanks? No?
  11. Tanks.
  12. Any firearms made in China, replicated by China or distributed by China.
  13. What remains of point 12 should form a list of roughly four weapons.
  14. Ain't that a bitch.
  15. Tanks.

There you go.

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6 Comments
Posted by BraindeadRacr

A nice little list with eye-comforting numbers.

What it needs:

  1. Communists.
  2. Russia displayed as evil bastards who stole the Space Race victory from us.
  3. Americans displayed as warm-hearted stereotypes who stroke puppies with one hand and shoot enemies with the other.
  4. Apple pie.
  5. British S.A.S.
  6. World War I mustache on Lt. Price is a must.
  7. DONT EVER NAME THE COUNTRY THAT IS DISPLAYED AS EVIL.
  8. See number 7; Russia.
  9. See number 7; Iraq.
  10. See number 7; Afghanistan.
  11. Martyrdom. Martyrdom. Martyrdom.
  12. The god almighty M16 rifle.
  13. The god almighty rifle that isn't the M16 but is even better; AK-47.
  14. Golden trim for my über shotgun.
  15. Gore.
  16. Last stand for giggles.
  17. Desert Eagle .50 pistol.
  18. StG/MP44 Rifle for old time's sake.
  19. Russian babble CoD fanboys will stroke their balls over for months.
  20. A one-armed bad-ass who looks like he ran headfirst into sixty walls who also is Russian.
  21. Another one-armed bad-ass who looks like he ran headfirst into sixty walls, but then American.
  22. Fifty thousand people used to live here...
  23. ... Now it's a ghost town.
  24. MOAR MCMILLIAN!
  25. More explosives.
  26. The lovely yells when you throw a grenade or place a claymore when playing as Spetsnaz; "PLAACCIIINN CLAAAYMAWWRRR".
  27. Longer single player campaign with a bad ass who takes on entire armies while having a extremely fruity name. Soapy dropped the Soap.
  28. Gaz.
  29. Multiplayer must be the same as Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare and even better.
  30. See 29 or mass riot will erupt.
  31. See 29 once again...
  32. 29... Make. It. Happen.
  33. If it doesn't, apple pie will be fed to Russian.

What it doesn't need.

  1. Tanks.
  2. Anti-tank grenades.
  3. A setting somewhere between the birth of Christ and the Vietnam War.
  4. Multiplayer balanced so well, that SMG's effectively outmatch anything else.
  5. Pistols that shatter Kevlar like glass.
  6. Treyarch as a Call of Duty game developer.
  7. Bayonets.
  8. Tanks.
  9. Machine-gewehren 1940.
  10. Did I mention tanks? No?
  11. Tanks.
  12. Any firearms made in China, replicated by China or distributed by China.
  13. What remains of point 12 should form a list of roughly four weapons.
  14. Ain't that a bitch.
  15. Tanks.

There you go.

Posted by Eric_Buck

I doubt it will have gore but the rest seem... reasonable lol.

Posted by DBoy

It definitely must not have tanks.  Tanks are for wusses.

Edited by Tru3_Blu3

What's wrong with balance? Every perk in CoD4 was useless except for Stopping Power and Juggernaut, so that defiantly needs fixing. The M16 was the only useful rifle in the game, so make the other rifles useful too.

The map designs need work also. They're all random and carry no tactical planning whatsoever. So what was the point of the ease dropping perk if stealth is impossible and tactical planning is unnecessary?

Posted by GreggD

Actually, Blue, steady aim is incredibly useful.

Posted by Tru3_Blu3
@GreggD: Oh yeah, I forgot about Steady Aim. That's a useful Perk too.