BreakABone's forum posts
Look at us, we're keeping up to date with this thing so far. Our Disney Afternoon week just keeps on trucking. We jump from the world of the Gummi Bears, and for those who read yesterday's article, you know we have no idea what that world is, to the magical land of Duckburg.
Yes ladies and gentlemen we are going down memory lane with DuckTales.
Its a show we all know, and all love, but how does it review with a Twist. Let's find out.
So the first shot of the intro is of a duck's foot. And part of its rear-end. Like I said with Gummi Bears, it is curious what animators choose as their opening shot.
The shot then pulls out to show 3 near identical ducks dancing to the beat. I say near identical because much like any group of similar looking animals (see Ninja Turtles), they wear different colors so we can tell them apart. So we have red, blue and green ducks. Or as they would be called now Component Cable Ducks.
They turn and face the camera when an older duck, who is dressed SO much better jumps into the picture. I mean he has a top hat, the glasses that sit on your nose and not over your eyes, and a walking stick.
If that wasn't enough to scream money to you, he literally throws money like its nothing upon his entrance. Ladies and gentlemen, that is class.
The song starts kicking in with its lyrics, but I think someone didn't get the memo. The song mentions "life is like a hurricane," but the image shows the older, richer, more classier duck being chased by what would best be described as a tidal wave of gold coins. Not exactly a hurricane. And how rich do you need to be in order to have money chasing you? And how do I get that rich?
The money finally does him in as he seems to be buried underneath several sacks of gold coins, and again I question just how rich you need to be for something like that to happen.
We get an aerial shot of what I can only assume is Duckburg. We also get to see a very drunk helicoper. That thing is zinging and zanging all over the place.
Oh looks like we get some vintage mobster types. Even driving a very old-timey look car. Yes, old-timey is a phrase.
This show shall be fun. "Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes." I mean... could a nerd ask for anything more. I would say a hot chick, but the show is named Ducktale, and that's usually not the type of tale someone wants to pull. (I apologize to any of our bestiality fans out there. )
The song doesn't lie either as we get a shot of the mobsters in a car. Then the three color-clashed ducks from the beginning playing with a laser gun of sorts and finally we have another duck flying a one person plane.
Yay! The old,rich, powerful and classy duck isn't dead but he isn't too bright either as he walks into an obvious barrier which electrifies him. I wonder how well the gold in his pocket conducted that.
"Might solve a mystery", who doesn't like a good mystery. Though these ducks don't exactly scream the Scooby gang to me. They are seen walking down steps to what looks like a very mysterious tomb with nothing but a match. Not a candle. Not a torch, but a single match. That's some guts.
Another random duck in armor pretending to joust. We don't see what he is aiming at or if he connects.
The rich, old, powerful, classy and not too bright duck is back and he is proving that last point. As he takes a dive into his pool of money. Don't re-read that sentence, yes I said his pool of money. The duck is so filthy rich apparently that he takes swims in his money. Let's ignore how much it would hurt to swim in a pool of gold coins. Or even forget the fact you'd have to be pretty strong to make any head ways. That is just friggin awesome!
And just to prove how worthless money is to him, he spits some out after his dip in his money pool. Old, wise, powerful, rich, classy but not too bright duck, you are my new hero.
We get an introduction to our first female duck, and just to prove she is a female she is wearing pink. And she is in a submarine with the old, wise, noble, powerful, rich, classy but not too bright duck. They are being pursued by a shark, but they don't seem too phased by it.
They are so unphased by said shark that female duck in pink kisses it! SHARK WEEK indeed!
The dragon from Gummi Bears apparently has a cousin because we have a green fire-breathing dragon in this show. Wonder if they have the same agent? This one does away with the facial hair instead sporting some spiffy glasses if I do say so myself.
Perhaps he is the first Dragon Nerd? I wonder if we could get him on the site.
I should also note that he is wearing a red sweater. Why a fire breathing dragon needs to be kept warm is beyond me. I mean he breathes fire. How could can you get?
Now we have a giant masked man holding the rich duck in his hand. Worse yet, it appears he has also scooped up some of the money pool!
Oh another female duck, who I'm gonna assume is evil because she's dressed in all black and hanging around with a crow. Some stereotypes exist for a reason folks. And mama always told me be wary of ducks dressed in all black. I'm looking at you Daffy!
And just to show that there is some light-heartedness to this show, there is a pie/cake fight on top of the mobster type dudes from before. I should also note, they are not ducks.
"D-d-d-danger lurks behind you" the song warns as we see red shirt duck scratching and clawing as he is being chased by one of the not-a-duck villains.
There's also a "stranger out to find you" which probably wouldn't be as easy if they weren't hanging around a mummy's tomb on their own with no adult supervision. Playing with a device that glows. I mean what part of that seems safe?
The old, rich, powerful duck is also athletic it seems. Like I said before, swimming in pools of gold coin takes a lot of strength, and apparently he has worked on his speed as he races across a crumbling floor and jumps to safety. We'd give it an 7.5, not the best jump!
I'm not even sure what the next shot has to do with the show, but it appears like its a trio of robots playing hockey and high-fiveing each other. If any of that makes sense to you, please drop us a line!
And now the rich duck is doing some space exploration, but apparently he is only doing it to find a dollar bill he lost? Someone should point out to him that he probably spent more money going out into space to get that bill than he would have if he left it alone.
To throw salt into his wounds, the people on the spacecraft pick him up before he can get the lone bill which is then promptly stolen by a mini-alien. What an alien needs Earth currency for I can't answer.
This duck is just living the good life. From space to a mine cart. Probably racing through some condemned mineshaft just for the heck of it.
The color-clashed ducks are once again left on their own, and this time found trouble with a tiger. Lucky for them, this is a Disney show so of course the tiger is friendly, and embraces them in a giant group hug.
Girl duck hides in a picnic basket. Now she is only in danger from Yogi Bear.
Now rich duck, and heavily bearded duck are racing up the side of a totem. At the top is their prize. A magic lamp. I assume this is where WWF got the concept of a ladder match?
Finally, we see the title of the show as Ducktales. Rich duck and color-clashed ducks pop out of the gold in celebration. And we're done.
I would check out this show based on the intro. Its hard not to compare em, but I felt this was more focused than the Gummi Bear intro. Sure, you still get random shots here and there, but it told a grand tale of adventure.
And who doesn't like a little adventure in their life.
So everyone head on down to Duckburg.http://nerdsontherocks.com/nostalgia-with-the-twist-ducktales
I'll be getting it I hope.
Waiting for more reviews to pour in and stuff, and dependent on how many friends get.
Killer robots disguised as "innocent" little girls.
Robots that transformed into beasts.
Bad-ass sharks that ride motorcycles.
Nostalgia with a Twist has been an interesting ride so far. It has become my favorite column to write, but it is always a challenge coming up with something new. Which is why I've come up with another challenge!
A week long Nostalgia with a Twist special edition.
What you may ask is important enough for a week long dedication?
The Disney Afternoon!
Now for those who don't remember what it is, well you are reading the wrong column so buh bye! And for those who do remember, strap on your seat belts because this Nostalgia trip is about to hit 90.
To properly kick off this Disney Afternoon special, we'd have to start at the beginning with the intro for the entire block of programming.
Now the intro would change from year to year to incorporate the changes to the line-up, but I tried to find the oldest one on Youtube.
Of course, The Disney Afternoon intro has to start with Disney's biggest icon, and as always he is a chipper little fellow. Carrying around that big ole piece of paper all by himself.
He rolls the paper on the table (?) and summons the mighty pencil gods to do their bidding!
All the while there is an awesome song in the background. Which is also challenging the viewer, "Step Right Up" its dropping the punk card pretty early and you wouldn't even know it. Even worse, the punk card is being dropped while Mickey friggin Mouse is on the screen.
The pencil gods then raise an army of black and white soldiers. Zombies? Who knows. Though Disney zombies has potential. I should put some calls in...
Moving on, as the army of undead black and white drawings come to life, the song tells us "this is where the fun begins." If by fun, they mean the world overran by adorable Disney characters with a thirst for blood, who am I to criticize?
The legion of the undead go off to their new paint lords? Is there no loyalty with the undead denizens of the Disney world? Or maybe this is the second part of their process to take over the world. Add color so they can better blend in! I mean I'm sure people would stare if they say a black and white gummi bear walking down the street, but see one in color and you may only give it a second glance.
And while we watch in horror as the bringers of our deaths are bought to life, the song cheerfully plays with our emotions.
There's so much to do
Getting ready just for you
I mean the song TELLS you they are coming after you, but its hidden behind colorful graphics and such a catchy beat that we don't even pay attention! Alas, we are doomed! DOOMED, I say!
We see a mouse getting her hair colored gold. And only in the magical world of Disney can a mouse have blonde hair, that's not only actual hair but different from the color of her body fur. And then we get a duck spotting a purple and green polka dot hat, and he is none too happy about that (and if there's one thing you don't want your murderer to be is upset!) so it is swiftly changed to a more classy black affair.
For a moment my heart relaxes as it appears the army has divided its ranks and started a paint war! Perhaps there is hope for mankind yet! Until you realize, they are just speeding up the process as they bring another one of their own to life. He is a bit new to this world so he is slipping and sliding everywhere.
It looks like they have also formed a home base with this magical paint. I wonder if it is sold in stores? How would you even ask for magical paint?
"Can I get a bucket of the good stuff? You know the stuff that brings drawing to life and makes them dance around for me? No? Okay!"
We now get a montage of our enemies training. Oh sure it may look like playful dancing and goofy around to the untrained eye, but to someone of my skill and intelligence it is a simple diversionary tactic. They will win you over with their cuteness wait until you get in close and stab you in the heart. Don't say I didn't warn you!
One of the soldiers have gone off base and tries to attack the screen. The intro quickly shifts away from him as they probably didn't want to give away their secret weapon.
A younger version of Mickey Mouse returns now to give us the title of the afternoon block, The Disney Afternoon. And one of his new soldiers comes bursting through the side of the screen.
Showing uncanny reflexes and strength for a cartoon mouse, he actually catches him with no struggle.
Our enemy has a name and a face.
Since this served as an intro to an entire block of programming, it really makes little sense to recommend anything based on it, but it did get you jazzed up for what is to come. I mean the beat is REALLY catchy.http://wp.me/p10OL8-84
" I can tell that every enemy's gonna be based on slashing vertically or slashing horizontally. I think Jeff mentioned that every enemy (and boss) in the demo played the same way. I can imagine that there'll be puzzles where you have to rotate a bridge depending on which way you slash a switch or something. "I expect it to be a part of the game, but I can't imagine Nintendo using that throughout the course of the game. As it may get tiresome/annoying if you expose an enemies' weak spot only for the controller not to give you the right slash thus wasting an opportunity to strike.